"And enough L-Tryptophan to knock you on your sorry Thanksgiving ass!"

November 20, 2013 7:59 AM

The grand Thanksgiving tradition of the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" Turkey Day Marathon hasn't been seen since 1997. But all hail the Internet! The Marathon has been revived by none other than Joel Hodgson himself. He plans to host six classic episodes at his new website on Thanksgiving Day. If you have a suggestion as to which ones to air, then you are encouraged to tweet the man himself before the big day.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (153 comments total)

Does it have to be an episode they've already broadcast, or can I get y'all to stuff the ballot box and get them to do a brand-new episode about Blood Freak?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:06 AM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

*hushed tones, outstretched hand*

it's beautiful
posted by The Whelk at 8:07 AM on November 20, 2013 [12 favorites]

Technically, it's being put on by Shout! Factory, the company that currently holds the DVD rights for MST3K, but the fact that they've secured Joel's cooperation makes this very sweet.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:08 AM on November 20, 2013 [8 favorites]

Does it have to be an episode they've already broadcast, or can I get y'all to stuff the ballot box and get them to do a brand-new episode about Blood Freak?

Oh, from your lips to God's ears, Empress.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:08 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Do they have to go on and on about how it's been 25 years?? Do they really??????
posted by JanetLand at 8:09 AM on November 20, 2013 [12 favorites]

If they don't air Mitchell, I'm going to send Joe Don Baker after them.

MITCHELL! Even his name says, "Is that a beer?"
posted by entropicamericana at 8:10 AM on November 20, 2013 [16 favorites]

I have nothing but love for this. I still have fond memories of one Turkey Day when my brother and I ran the VCR for twenty-four hours in shifts so we could record the entire thing, and the first big trip Mrs. Example and I took together was to go to the second Conventio-con Expo-Festorama. (And to meet her parents and announce our engagement, but y'know...priorities.)
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:10 AM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

Really, if Shout! decided to just forego putting episodes on Netflix/Hulu/whatever and just decided to launch their own MST3K streaming service/channel, I could be compelled to throw a few bucks a month at it for the rest of my natural life. And I say this as an obsessive who buys all of the DVD releases anyway.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:11 AM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

Cannot favorite the MITCHELL!! suggestion hard enough. Peak MST3K?
posted by butterstick at 8:13 AM on November 20, 2013

If they don't air Mitchell, I'm going to send Joe Don Baker after them.

I have a feeling that either Mitchell or Brain That Wouldn't Die might be shown as "carrots on a stick" to promote the MST3K 25th Anniversary box set, which includes both episodes (which have been out of print on DVD for ~10 years now) on a bonus disk.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:14 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER THAT SOULTAKER IS ON NETFLIX STREAMING

YOU CAN JUST WATCH IT RIGHT NOW

NOTHING IS STOPPING YOU
posted by The Whelk at 8:15 AM on November 20, 2013 [12 favorites]

Turkey Day is actually the birthday of MST3K. Thanksgiving 1988 was the premiere of the first episode on KTMA TV 23 in the Twin Cities.

Joel, Crow and Gypsum talk about Thanksgiving from the KTMA days

Turkey Day 1991 Bumpers
Turkey Day 1992 Bumpers
Turkey Day 1993 Bumpers
Turkey Day 1994 Bumpers
Turkey Day 1995 Bumpers
The Turkey Day Version of "Night of the Blood Beast"

It's kind of awesome that Joel has been more open to doing MST3k stuff lately. I know he's said in the past that he'd love to do more MST3k, but Jim Mallon at the time was more focused on his subpar flash animation series starring the bots that went nowheresville.
posted by inturnaround at 8:16 AM on November 20, 2013 [8 favorites]

MANOS: Hands of Fate
posted by Renoroc at 8:16 AM on November 20, 2013 [8 favorites]

I am preparing by buying scrolls and fish and Tinkertoys and wine.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:17 AM on November 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

Wait then how do I have The Brain That Wouldn't Die on DVD somewhere?*

this may be due to keeping redundant copies of MST3K episodes on various media stored in hidden compartments throughout the house.


*Neck juice! the answer is always Neck Juice.
posted by The Whelk at 8:17 AM on November 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

Wait then how do I have The Brain That Wouldn't Die on DVD somewhere?*

Rhino released it (and Mitchell and a bunch of others) as a single DVD back in the late '90s before they started doing the box sets, but it's been technically out of print since at least the mid-'00s.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:21 AM on November 20, 2013

Oh my god how had I completely forgotten how amazing Mitchell was.

Getting old is a terrible time.
posted by winna at 8:27 AM on November 20, 2013

I discovered this on a UHF station the second year I was in college, 1988. It was the first year of the show, when it was improvised and the cast had Josh Elvis Weinstein as Tom Servo.

I was a college sophomore 25 years ago. Jesus.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the not too distant future.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:28 AM on November 20, 2013 [10 favorites]

Gamara is my boyfriend!
posted by blurker at 8:33 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

That reminds me, I need to order the RiffTrax of Star Wars Holiday Christmas Special. And lay in some booze.
posted by emjaybee at 8:37 AM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

I went to the first MST3K Conventio-Con-Expo-Fest-A-Rama with a Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy costume. So I have a special fondness for Godzilla vs. Megalon, even if it's a horrible Godzilla film.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 8:38 AM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

gypsum?
posted by banshee at 8:39 AM on November 20, 2013

Which was the one from about 1990 about teens at some kind of juvie-ranch, where they end up all dancing around and one really tall guy is dancing and the robots say, "Get me, I'm doin' the Abe Lincoln!" "Freein' the slaves, man -- groovy."? That one was very funny.

KITN-TV, the kitten that roars.
posted by wenestvedt at 8:40 AM on November 20, 2013

We gather together to watch cheesy movies,
On Comedy Central on Thanksgiving Day.
It’s Mystery Science, The-ea-ter 3000;
It’s thirty strai-aight hours, and it’s called Turkey Day-ay! *Servo octave jump*

I honestly don’t care which episodes they run. I have most of them at my disposal to choose whenever I want; the fun of this will be having someone else pick, having Joel host, and sharing the experience with the world in real time. This is what the digital revolution was all about! Keep circulating the, er, whatever they are these days!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:45 AM on November 20, 2013 [8 favorites]

banshee: gypsum?

Forget it, he's rolling.
posted by dr_dank at 8:49 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Everybody remembers Mitchell, but let's not forget Joe Don Baker's other contribution to MST3K history, Final Justice:

"Stop or we'll surrender!"

"Meatloaf: Texas Ranger."

"Hey, Malta! Get a tree!"
posted by Rangeboy at 8:53 AM on November 20, 2013 [10 favorites]

"Why would she want to do that to Mitchell, Joel?"

Plus, Joel leaves the SOL? Mitchell!
posted by umberto at 8:54 AM on November 20, 2013

Now if I can just find a crate of Hamdingers to serve while we watch
posted by Zonker at 8:57 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I lurve MST3K, but after the show went off the air and we had kids I kinda lost track of who in the group was or wasn't speaking to one another. Could someone sum up the principals' current relationships to each other and to the MST3K "troupe"? Peaceful coexistence? Mild indifference? Hot hatey-hate? I've checked out RiffTrax, and I also have some episodes of Cinematic Titanic, but are these guys only speaking to one another through their lawyers at the moment? Is Mike Nelson the Yoko Ono in this situation? Is Jim Mallon the Brian Wilson figure? Is sad-eyed Joel Hodgson holding down a stool in a Rust Belt dive bar, randomly shouting "Big McLargeHuge!" and "Slab Squatthrust!" at CNN? I'll take my answer off the air...
posted by mosk at 8:57 AM on November 20, 2013

I'm guessing they will be limited to what they have or can attain the rights to. "Mitchell" is a strong contender for the reasons Strange Interlude mentioned, but others like "Riding With Death" (which is in my personal Top 10 episodes) are less likely.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:00 AM on November 20, 2013

La la la!
posted by cavalier at 9:02 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

From what I understand, Jim Mallon holds the rights to MST3k through Best Brains.

If the success of Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic is any indication, he's probably waiting for the right time to cash in on a full-fledged reunion.
posted by dr_dank at 9:02 AM on November 20, 2013

Aw man! Time to crawl home to the trailer from the Cold Prairie Bar and sprawl on the broken-spring couch with a box of Fruit Loops and sack of cheese-curls AGAIN?

Ok. I'm in.
posted by Twang at 9:05 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Somewhere in a box is a picture of me on the MST3K Satellite-of-Love bridge set. I am slapping the button and preparing the dive through the doors behind me. A highlight of my life, honestly.

Not shown is the fact that you have to stand in a tiny little spot to avoid falling through the giant holes in the floor and into the puppeteer's pit.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 9:05 AM on November 20, 2013 [7 favorites]

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!

When I was teaching in Georgia in the late 90s, one of the local stations showed the Mystery Science Theater Hour on Sunday nights at 11:00 pm. So, I used to stay up late and be drowsy on Mondays just to get my MST3K fix, even if it was an episode I had on tape!

(I loved the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians one where Mike dressed as the host dressed as Santa Claus makes everyone sit on his lap while the closing credits are rolling.)
posted by wittgenstein at 9:10 AM on November 20, 2013

The save-the-dates for our wedding feature our silhouettes in a row of movie-theatre chairs. I'm pointing up at a familiar-looking moon that says, "Save the Date 2014."

Yeah, I guess I'm a little excited.
posted by ilana at 9:10 AM on November 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

Spider Island! Home to the stars!
posted by .kobayashi. at 9:11 AM on November 20, 2013

How many of you ever wrote to the info club? Better yet, how many wrote in response to an episode that aired years before?

I'd love to see the letters that the Hopkins,MN PO box gets to this day.
posted by dr_dank at 9:12 AM on November 20, 2013

Wait, there are people who aren't forced to watch football on Thanksgiving?

::pout::
posted by JoanArkham at 9:15 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Spider Island! Home to the stars!

*long pan on showgirls in various states of undress*

THE HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND!
posted by The Whelk at 9:19 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Hah! This is where I get to say that I'd seen at least two dozen or so of the movies parodied on MST3k either in the cinema first run or on late night teevy a few years after.

The young friend who introduced me to MSTK3k in the early 90s couldn't believe anyone had actually paid money (well, $00.35 anyway) for the unironic pleasures of Killer Shrews, Terror from the Year 5000, and Brain that Wouldn't Die! But some of us did.

I'll never forget the look on his face when I predicted that Arch Hall, Jr. would announce that he had water in his dune buggy tires (for better traction).

All those Gamera and Godzilla and Hercules movies. . . . I'm not really sure which ones I saw and which I didn't.

MSTie researchers (thanks TVs Frank) got one up on me with stuff like Manos:Manos and Creeping Terror and Beast of Yucca Flats, though. I mean I can't believe anyone actually paid money . . .
 
posted by Herodios at 9:34 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

This is what the digital revolution was all about! Keep circulating the, er, whatever they are these days!



join us . . .
posted by Herodios at 9:36 AM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

"Get me, I'm doin' the Abe Lincoln!" "Freein' the slaves, man -- groovy."

Untamed Youth

 
posted by Herodios at 9:46 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think it's a shame Joel and the bots never got to riff on "Alien Terror," Boris Karloff's last movie.

Sample dialogue:

Professor John Mayer: Have you noticed that our bodies are becoming radioactive?
Thomas: Well... yes.
Professor John Mayer: It doesn't bother you?
Thomas: No.
Professor John Mayer: Well, it bothers me.
posted by entropicamericana at 9:48 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

YES!! UNTAMED YOUTH!!
posted by wenestvedt at 9:57 AM on November 20, 2013

From what I understand, Jim Mallon holds the rights to MST3k through Best Brains.

If the success of Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic is any indication, he's probably waiting for the right time to cash in on a full-fledged reunion.

Mallon's the reason why Joel left in the first place. He controls the company, such as it is now, and Joel apparently continues to get a cut as a stake-owner, but more or less silent partner.

If I were Joel, I'd find a way to buy Jim out and produce episodes on my own with the Cinematic Titanic crew (despite the fact that they're wrapping that project up at the end of the year).

Ah...but most of this is just me hoping it's not dead forever. Obviously the concept will never die. Riffing is a vibrant artform now. Mike, Kevin and Bill are doing it with Rifftrax. Groups like Master Pancake in Texas do it live. I even did a show during Philly Fringe called Movie Scrapple which did a live movie riff. It's fun. I believe riffing will thrive in the future..
posted by inturnaround at 9:59 AM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

mosk: "I lurve MST3K, but after the show went off the air and we had kids I kinda lost track of who in the group was or wasn't speaking to one another. Could someone sum up the principals' current relationships to each other and to the MST3K "troupe"? Peaceful coexistence? Mild indifference? Hot hatey-hate?"

The Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax groupings coalesced as who wanted to work together. So, there's the Joel/Frank/Trace/Mary Jo/Josh grouping and the Mike/Kevin/Bill grouping. The impression I get is that everyone in each group is just fine with the people in the other group, but maybe that they view them more as "people we used to work with" rather than "friends." Not that that would preclude them working together again - Joel has been asked about that, and seems open, if logistics permitted.

Jim Mallon seems to be somewhat disliked by everyone, by Josh and Joel in particular. His rep is as a guy who is all about the money. And I don't know where poor Paul Chaplin falls into all this - he was on Jim's failed MST Flash thing, not sure what he's done since.

People with better inside info, please correct.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:01 AM on November 20, 2013 [7 favorites]

I'll be making my own marathon via YouTube, thanks, but I'm glad that this is happening somewhere on actual TV.
posted by sparkletone at 10:11 AM on November 20, 2013

God, whatever episode had "Neil.... I'm in the hope chest.... NEIIIIILLLLL" had my friends and I shouting that at each other for a good couple of years.

Also: EXTREEEEME! RICEEEEEE! That lead to us shouting EXTREEMMMEEEEE at each other whenever we simultaneously killed each other in Goldeneye.

Good memories.
posted by disillusioned at 10:23 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think I loved the shorts most of all:

The Home Economics Story
Cheating
Is This Love?
A Date With Your Family
Aquatic Wizards
Hired!
A Young Man's Fancy
Are You Ready for Marriage
What to Do on a Date

and as a bonus, this is a rifftrax:
Kitty Cleans Up
posted by julen at 10:25 AM on November 20, 2013 [11 favorites]

If I were Joel, I'd find a way to buy Jim out and produce episodes on my own . . . Ah...but most of this is just me hoping it's not dead forever. Obviously the concept will never die. Riffing is a vibrant artform now.

Hmm. Maybe. You can't really go back, though.

Joel is Oldskool Riff personified and Riff has certainly taken a turn for the darker and harsher since ep #512.

Would kids today dig Joel's flow?
Would Gansta Riffers get all up in his grille?*.

= = =

Joel, Crow and Gypsum talk about Thanksgiving from the KTMA days
    gypsum?
        Forget it, he's rolling.

I believe we are now required to refer to her as "Romasum"**


-----------------------------------------------------------------
  *Or whatever is hep for them to do nowadays.
**Or else be sent to a Mefi re-education camp as a reactionary counter-revolutionary running dog lackey of the imperialist patriarchal state.
posted by Herodios at 10:26 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Some dear friends of mine have a few running mst3k jokes.

One is "I've got a wise idea....Chick peas" and "Clearly Timmy is shrinking" (possibly from the same episode)

My house is also partial to watching the Battlefield Earth Rifftrax(because it is the only way to watch it) as well as the horrible Twilight saga (see previous parenthetical)
posted by Twain Device at 10:29 AM on November 20, 2013

God, whatever episode had "Neil.... I'm in the hope chest.... NEIIIIILLLLL" had my friends and I shouting that at each other for a good couple of years.

Leech Woman. It's on YouTube. Go watch it now.
posted by wittgenstein at 10:29 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

We like it very much!
posted by John Kennedy Toole Box at 10:34 AM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

Lets escape under cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county.
posted by dr_dank at 10:35 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

THEY TOOK OUT THE HITLER BUILDING!
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:36 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

"I've got a bad feeling about that knick-knack shelf."
"Deeeep Hurrrrrrrtiiiing."

Two phrases that help me get through the day.
posted by julen at 10:38 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

What a perfect day for saying "Honey, wake up and put your shoes on, we’re at Grandma’s!" over and over again.
posted by keli at 10:38 AM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

Hah! This is where I get to say that I'd seen at least two dozen or so of the movies parodied on MST3k either in the cinema first run or on late night teevy a few years after.

It was nowhere near that many, but I'd seen a few, and I would absolutely LOVE when they turned up on MST3K! Especially when it was something I'd seen on the Late, Late Movie that I had half-remembered for years, but kind of half-thought that maybe I'd dreamed or imagined it (that sort of thing happened to kids in the pre-IMDB days, if you can believe it, young'uns). Parts: The Clonus Horror was the best of these.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:39 AM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

Also, someday I'd love to see a movie riffed by just Mike and Joel together.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:41 AM on November 20, 2013

What a perfect day for saying "Honey, wake up and put your shoes on, we’re at Grandma’s!" over and over again.

I swear in the last 72 hours I have said "Let's escape under cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county!" and "Emotions are for ethnic people." out loud and in-context.

I fear going over my writing and realizing it's just 70% reformatted MST3k lines.
posted by The Whelk at 10:52 AM on November 20, 2013 [9 favorites]

God, whatever episode had "Neil.... I'm in the hope chest.... NEIIIIILLLLL" had my friends and I shouting that at each other for a good couple of years.

Oh god, Leech Woman, it's on youtube, it stars one of Joan Crawford's husbands, it's glorious amazing B-movie 50s camp go watch it now before I recite the entire thing to you.

"STILL NOT ACTING, I'M NOT IN THE SCENE...NOT ACTING."
posted by The Whelk at 10:54 AM on November 20, 2013

"If you're like me, and I know I am...."
posted by Chrysostom at 11:00 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

My favorite thing about these threads is that we have all seen every episode and we each have different inside jokes from various riffs. My buddies were live tweeting PodPeople last night and today I can't get the lyrics to idiot control out of my head and I wasn't even watching the movie.
posted by annathea at 11:25 AM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

Also, the split between rifftrax and cinematic titanic is that CT is still in the midwest, and rifftrax moved out to LA. I know some of the CT have shown up at rifftrax over the years. I don't think there is any bad blood, but Mike / Kevin / Bill kinda just kept rolling forward after the end, whereas CT had to regroup with people who had been away from the show for a long time.
posted by lkc at 11:35 AM on November 20, 2013

I can't wait to hike, hike, hike up my chinos and settle in for this.
posted by usonian at 11:44 AM on November 20, 2013

True, although the CTers had spent time in LA, and didn't care for it. Maybe that's the real cleavage.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:46 AM on November 20, 2013

"I generally had a positive impression of white people before this movie."
posted by Chrysostom at 11:47 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Two words, Hercules! French Doors!

(Like The Whelk, I also think "emotions are for ethnic people" a lot.)
posted by wittgenstein at 11:55 AM on November 20, 2013

A violent argument erupts over whose day was more pleasant.
posted by dr_dank at 11:59 AM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

Two words, Hercules! French Doors!

Two more words:

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP HUUUUUURRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGG.
posted by sparkletone at 12:00 PM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]

So I have a special fondness for Godzilla vs. Megalon, even if it's a horrible Godzilla film.

It's one of the best episodes though, everyone loves Godzilla, and it's great for introducing people to the show, unlike Mitchell and Brain That Wouldn't Die, which while great both upset the premise a bit and thus will confuse new viewers.

I lurve MST3K, but after the show went off the air and we had kids I kinda lost track of who in the group was or wasn't speaking to one another. Could someone sum up the principals' current relationships to each other and to the MST3K "troupe"? Peaceful coexistence? Mild indifference?

I think few people can speak authoritatively on this other than the people themselves, but....

They've always said that they're all friends behind the scenes, and I don't see many reasons to disbelieve that. Benefit of the doubt and all.
The group split up into roughly three camps:
- First, (second host and MST3K head writer) Mike Nelson, (second voice of Tom Servo) Kevin Murphy, and (second voice of Crow) Bill Corbett, formed Rifftrax. (Well, really Mike formed it with Legend Films, then eventually the other two went from being occasional guests to clambering on board). BTW, RiffTrax is very nice and deserves all your monies.
- Then (show creator and first host) Joel Hodgson, (original Crow and Dr. Forrester) Trace Beaulieu, (original Servo and Dr. Erhardt) Josh Weinstein, (TV's Frank and resident bad movie buff) Frank Conniff, and (Pearl Forrester) Mary Jo Pehl formed Cinematic Titanic. I think they're still performing sometimes, but aren't making many new DVDs because of time commitment conflicts between the group.
- Finally there's (Joel's partner in making the show and original voice of Gypsy) Jim Mallon, who is mostly just stewarding the show's legacy and licensing at this point, after the Flash shorts failed.

It might be hard for us to avoid seeing rifts between the groups, but I think most of us still seem them as professional more than personal. Is it weird that we're emotionally invested in whether these smart and funny people are just friends with each other, like we're playing Outer Space Bad Movie Riffing Dollhouse with little figures of these guys? (Joel: "Hey Mike, me and Frank were planning on going over to Woody and Buzz's for a nightcap after Potato's stand up routine. Wanna come with?") I think it might have to do with how they all have such chemistry with each other on the screen. All the versions really do look just like a bunch of people who are comfortable with each other just making fun of stuff on screen -- we'd like to think that such comradery wouldn't be easy to fake. And the show's appeal has always been how it feels like you're watching a bad movie with friends, which is one of life's more subtle pleasures.

Of course undoubtedly there are differences between them in private, just as there are between all human beings since there were just two of us surrounded, embattled, by saber-toothed tigers and Cro-Magnon Mitchells on the plains of prehistoric Iowa. Maybe some of those are reflected in the professional rifts between the group. But really, and I can't emphasize this enough, one should always remember that it's just show and really I should just relax.
posted by JHarris at 12:07 PM on November 20, 2013 [10 favorites]

BTW, I made this for personal use, but here you all go: A YouTube playlist of every MST3K episode I could find on that site. Unfortunately a few have been taken down since I compiled it (including Hobgoblins), but there's still over 170 on the list. Note, however, some are KTMA.
posted by JHarris at 12:15 PM on November 20, 2013 [8 favorites]

I remember seeing Cinematic Titanic a few years ago and they answered questions before the riffing started. Inevitably, somebody submitted a question about Rifftrax as Joel was reading them off. Trace came onstage and asked if Joel wanted him to open this can of worms he was holding, and they agreed not to.

The CT discs are well worth picking up, particularly The Wasp Woman and Danger on Tiki Island.

Also, I never could see Orville Reddenbacher the same way again. ("I relish the thought nightly, do you hear me? NIGHTLY!")
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 12:20 PM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

The save-the-dates for our wedding feature our silhouettes in a row of movie-theatre chairs. I'm pointing up at a familiar-looking moon that says, "Save the Date 2014."

Riffing a wedding? I'm not sure that's the right venue for that kind of thing, but I'll give it a shot.
posted by JHarris at 12:21 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

Just a reminder, the Rifftrax guys are doing a live, simulcast riffing of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in theaters on December 5.
posted by Freon at 12:25 PM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

By the way, are there any mefites who got their handle from one of the many Space Mutiny nicknames? Because if there is not a single Bulk VanderHuge, Reef BlastBody, or Smash LampJaw here, well, goshdarnit, there oughta be.
posted by .kobayashi. at 12:33 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Making Santa Claus Conquers the Martians the only film to be done by all three groups (MST3K, CT, RT), unless I'm mistaken.

“Santa’s tendrils reach far and wide. There is no escaping the KLAUS organization.”
posted by Chrysostom at 12:36 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

as well as the horrible Twilight saga (see previous parenthetical)

Line?! I also love Rifftrax for introducing the term "labeoufing" to my vocabulary: When a character fleeing something yells "Gogogogogogogogo!!!!"
posted by sparkletone at 12:36 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

MST3K Turkey Day one year got away with one of the funniest under-the-radar jokes I ever heard: Mike Nelson (as Jack "I'm Jack Perkins" Perkins) arrived at the Mads' Thanksgiving potluck in Deep 13 with a dish of "yams, lovingly prepared by Karen Finley."
I do not advise Googling this reference if you are at work.
posted by Spatch at 12:51 PM on November 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

Some years back I found a full 12 hours of a Turkey Day marathon on BitTorrent. It was un-edited, included the commercials, bumpers and everything. Since I was alone on Christmas that year, I watched the WHOLE THING. It was wondrous. I have since rebuked everything about high school me, but we sat together and held hands in the dark that holiday and agreed that this one true thing was still okay.

(I since deleted the files and then demonoid died and I have been kicking myself ever since... )
posted by 1f2frfbf at 1:01 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

the first big trip Mrs. Example and I took together was to go to the second Conventio-con Expo-Festorama

Same here, with the Future Mr. Lucinda!

How many of you ever wrote to the info club?

I did! Is this where I get to gloat that I'm Fan Club Member #2136, and that when Trace signed it at the Conventio-Con, he commented on how old my card (an orange piece of paper, and I had to write my own name and number on it) was?
posted by Lucinda at 1:06 PM on November 20, 2013

Rare is the day I don't say "Trumpy! You can do stupid things!"

I have many fond memories of MST3K Turkey Days, and will catch whatever bits of this I can, all the while wishing my four year-old were old enough to watch it.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:52 PM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]

BLAST HARDCHEESE!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:57 PM on November 20, 2013

The Cinematic Titanic and Rifftrax groupings coalesced as who wanted to work together. So, there's the Joel/Frank/Trace/Mary Jo/Josh grouping and the Mike/Kevin/Bill grouping.

For the record, Mary Jo has also done a couple of Rifftraxes.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:21 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

banshee: gypsum?

Forget it, he's rolling.


Nope, he's correct. Gypsy was called Gypsum in the earliest episodes.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:23 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

ShutterBun: "For the record, Mary Jo has also done a couple of Rifftraxes."

True. Bridget's been on a few times, too.
posted by Chrysostom at 2:30 PM on November 20, 2013

Here's a bit of deep MST3k nerdery.

Ahem

Timmy Big Hands.
posted by The Whelk at 2:53 PM on November 20, 2013 [6 favorites]

Timmy Big Hands.

Actually post-MST3k, but well played sir.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 3:05 PM on November 20, 2013

I wish Timmy Big Hands survived, because there were some amazingly funny bits on it. Syrup Wars, for example, and Socratic Dialogue With A Steak.
posted by JHarris at 3:43 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

What, no love for Edward the Less or Darkstar?
posted by Chrysostom at 3:59 PM on November 20, 2013

I was one of (500?) winners of their contest! I still have my Timmy Big Hands $1.98 check signed by Mike somewhere!
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 4:12 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I found video files of all the Edward The Less episodes on a website somewhere, long ago.

And I still have them!
posted by JHarris at 4:14 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alas, whoever currently has the TimmyBigHands domain appears to have set it up with a robots.txt, which the Internet Archive is using to forbid access to the old content they used to have up. Which seems like a flaw in their system, really.
posted by JHarris at 4:43 PM on November 20, 2013

I was one of (500?) winners of their contest! I still have my Timmy Big Hands $1.98 check signed by Mike somewhere!

Mine is signed by Bill!

All the way home, I've had "Gypsy Rose Me" stuck in my head.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:59 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think my all-time favorite sketch was "Hired! The Musical." I'd love to see that on Turkey Day.
posted by Chrysostom at 6:49 PM on November 20, 2013

Ah, someone posted all 13 episodes of Edward The Less to YouTube. It's a Flash-(semi)-animated Lord of the Rings parody that was originally hosted on the Sci-Fi Channel's website, made by several of the Brains, and has many voices from the show on it.
posted by JHarris at 7:25 PM on November 20, 2013

No list of shorts (which are still the funniest things to me) would be complete without the unspeakable beauty of Why Study Industrial Arts?* There are others. Some might even be funnier in parts, but pound for pound, it's just constantly side-splittingly hilarious.

* Because you're bad at math.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:50 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

I like the smell of fresh wood chips.

"I pUt ThEm In My UnDeRwEaR!"
posted by JHarris at 8:18 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

Why Study Industrial Arts?

sometimes I think I love the shorts more then the features, cause the ROI is so much better or because of this line

"Because it means I'm a craftsman ..and not a killer."
posted by The Whelk at 8:21 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Hey, “Posture Pals” was the definitive last word on posture!"
posted by Chrysostom at 8:36 PM on November 20, 2013

"Hey, “Posture Pals” was the definitive last word on posture!"

I went to a posture workshop at my work's wellness program last month, and I was so disappointed I didn't get a crown, a silhouette, or any iambic pentameter at all. And we didn't even make the knee test.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:39 PM on November 20, 2013

Teaching ESL, and checking my students' work, so, so many times the line "mmherr What is this? NO! THAT'S WRONG! Do IT AGAIN!" have fluttered through my mind.

It's soothing.
posted by Ghidorah at 10:52 PM on November 20, 2013

Also, the rubber band from Are You Ready for Marriage.

It's gone!
Where'd it go!?
He's a SORCERORurur!
posted by Ghidorah at 10:53 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]

"This guy's got renaissance festival written all over him. Huzzah!"

As a reminder, Club MST3k is "the most complete list of free online streaming Mystery Science Theater 3000 videos" and I like it very much.
posted by ob1quixote at 11:31 PM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]

Thanks for that link. Now I'm sitting in Starbucks watching "Parts: The Clonus Horror" and giggling like an idiot every 30 seconds.
posted by tracicle at 1:37 AM on November 21, 2013

ThE MaSTeR wIll Be plEaseD iF I gET paY and PlAy and BacK ENd PaRTicIpATioN.
posted by wittgenstein at 2:36 AM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

When this Turkey Day thing goes down, I move we all meet in Chat to watch together. You know, for fun. It's fun when its fun!
posted by JHarris at 4:22 AM on November 21, 2013

I'd be up for that, but only if I can sing whenever I sing whenever I sing.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:25 AM on November 21, 2013

And we didn't even make the knee test.

I saw some golf tournament recently where Sammy Hagar (I think?) was playing, and before every hole I swear to god he made "the knee test." Can anyone confirm?
posted by ShutterBun at 4:30 AM on November 21, 2013

When this Turkey Day thing goes down, I move we all meet in Chat to watch together.

Yeah, here I go, VROOOOM!
posted by ShutterBun at 4:33 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Would it be hypocritical of me to put in a request for Mr. B Natural?

"Bad touch."
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:07 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Great idea, JHarris, I just need to remember - I always forget about chat.

“Lucky guy, he’s about to find out I’m Ben Murphy.”
posted by Chrysostom at 7:08 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

I also loved the shorts more than the movies, if only for Hired: The Musical!.
posted by chrominance at 7:29 AM on November 21, 2013

Oh oh oh, and the one with the angel and devil screwing with the bread delivery guy!
posted by chrominance at 7:30 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

“Lucky guy, he’s about to find out I’m Ben Murphy.”

I swear to God, at least once a month when my phone rings at work, "Ben Murphy; how may I direct your call?" pops into my head.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:33 AM on November 21, 2013

Oh oh oh, and the one with the angel and devil screwing with the bread delivery guy!

Hope you accept bread into your life...
posted by wittgenstein at 7:53 AM on November 21, 2013

Hope you accept bread into your life...

"Now, more than ever, it's specialty bread." Heard on almost every trip we make to the store!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:13 AM on November 21, 2013

The Gumby short is great too, especially for the host segment that followed it, where the 'bots, upset about the treatment robots received in the short, enlist Mike to take out their frustrations on a couple of blobs of clay they have named "Horseflop and Bolus." It's the voices they give them that get me every time.
posted by JHarris at 10:16 AM on November 21, 2013

I'm now ready for years of powerful Adlerian therapy.
posted by The Whelk at 10:18 AM on November 21, 2013

Cheating is the all time best short.

"Did Johnny mean to be dishonest?"
Or is he just pure evil?
posted by Chrysostom at 10:31 AM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

The guys screaming in horror when the teacher's floating head appears to poor Johnny is what gets me. Also, "A young Franz Kafka awaits his fate."
posted by JHarris at 10:47 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Rowsdower, Rowsdower, rowsa- rowsa- Rowsdower
Bowsa- bowsa- lowsdower, sabbity-sabbity-sowsdower
Bibbity-bobbity-bowsdower, babbity-dabbity-dowsdower...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:13 AM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

TURN RIGHT AT THE TREE
posted by The Whelk at 11:15 AM on November 21, 2013

Left! Left! On the left! Diiiiiickweeeeed!
posted by ob1quixote at 11:32 AM on November 21, 2013

Girl: "I'm having Critter's varmint!"
posted by JHarris at 2:54 PM on November 21, 2013

I CAN'T DATE YOU BECAUSE IM SIGNIFICANTLY BIGGER THAN YOU
posted by The Whelk at 2:58 PM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Normal view! NORMAL VIEW! NORMAL VIEW! NORMAL VIEEEWWW!!
posted by JHarris at 3:12 PM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

Women love his beige sports car!
posted by Chrysostom at 7:38 PM on November 21, 2013

Ba-dup Ba-da-da, duh-da da dah-da-da-dah....

(ribbit)
posted by JHarris at 7:47 PM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Why do you hate my groin so much?
posted by creepygirl at 8:33 PM on November 21, 2013

Crow:
Hey, kids! The word of the day is booger.

That's right, booger! Boogerboogerboogerbooger-- YAAAAH! (screams as Joel drags him off-screen by his net)
posted by JHarris at 4:37 AM on November 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Although I associate "booger" more with WKRP.
posted by Chrysostom at 5:53 AM on November 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

That's Timmy, from ep 416, Fire Maidens of Outer Space.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:33 PM on November 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

I am James Ungantine Ktla, and I predict your future!

Futuredate 2525, KTLA predicts, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, they will find: a stamp made in the image of Martha Raye!

It segues into Dr. Bronner's territory so seamlessly.
posted by JHarris at 1:40 PM on November 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

"[Jim and I] started fighting and it just kind of escalated, and I just felt like I didn't like the way it was going," explains Hodgson. "I was always really happy when I was making Mystery Science Theater and I could see the end to that, and I felt like that would be really bad. I didn't want to be one of those bitter comedians -- I'm unemployed, being the sad clown. So I left, and it turned out to be the right thing. Everything's kind of reverted back. For example, you're talking to me about Mystery Science Theater, not Jim Mallon, so I feel the universe is in the right place."

Ouch.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:05 AM on November 26, 2013 [2 favorites]

It sounds like he has a good sense of it, though. I'm happy Joel is happy.
posted by JHarris at 7:15 PM on November 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah, was just surprised to see Joel be so direct there, he's generally been pretty circumspect about internal tensions in the past.
posted by Chrysostom at 7:31 PM on November 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

First movie: Space Mutiny! We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!
posted by gc at 9:20 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

PS: Direct YouTube link to the feed.
posted by gc at 9:25 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Space Munity! The tombstone of John Phillip Law's dubious carrer!
posted by The Whelk at 9:26 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

"This will be the Swayze-est Christmas of them all!"
posted by ob1quixote at 11:04 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Whoa, Netflix has an actual Mike-era episode i've NEVER SEEN "Begining Of The End."

-2 hours later-

eh. Good for fans of B-movie 50s giant bug movies (plus, Peter Graves? Again? Whoa.) But not crazy bad enough to be really worthwhile, mostly just boring and filled with inexplicable driving scenes.
posted by The Whelk at 11:43 AM on November 30, 2013

I think Beginning Of The End grows on you with later viewings. Like the inexplicable shot of the car on the road, driving towards the camera from a distance -- what the hell was up with that, and the music in that shot? And it deserves some kind of award for the audacity of using, as a special effect, a bunch of grasshoppers climbing on a postcard.
posted by JHarris at 12:56 PM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh, and Beginning of the End must be a recent addition, because the last time I looked there were only four episodes on Netflix.
posted by JHarris at 12:57 PM on November 30, 2013

I kept thinking they couldn't possibly keep going back to that postcard shot but no, I was wrong.
posted by The Whelk at 1:32 PM on November 30, 2013

ob1quixote: “"This will be the Swayze-est Christmas of them all!"”

I should note, this is not the original from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians but an all new choral recording that I guess was the end of the live stream.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:45 PM on November 30, 2013

That's beautiful, ob1quixote.
posted by JHarris at 1:58 PM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

I saw the end of the Livestream, they finished it up with the Patrick Swayze Christmas host segment from the show. Don't know what the clip's provinence is, but Joel shows up at the end (in a Gizmonics jumpsuit!), so it must be official in some way.
posted by JHarris at 2:42 PM on November 30, 2013

There was a comment to the effect of, "I'm glad this wasn't lost in the shuffle at the end of the live feed" on the video, but it's been moderated or deleted I guess.
posted by ob1quixote at 3:12 PM on November 30, 2013

And now the video itself appears to be gone. Shame.
posted by JHarris at 1:58 PM on December 2, 2013

JHarris: “And now the video itself appears to be gone. Shame.”

It's been reposted under the Reddit banner. One imagines this one will last
posted by ob1quixote at 1:03 AM on December 7, 2013 [1 favorite]

In further MST3K news, the current Humble Bundle contains an 8-bit-styled video game version of MANOS: The Hands of Fate. I've played it on the iPad and it's quick fun, a bit challenging but nothing overwhelming I think.
posted by JHarris at 1:58 AM on December 7, 2013