Exploding Sperm Whale

November 27, 2013 5:44 PM

A sperm whale, which died of natural causes off the Faroe Islands, explodes .
posted by R. Mutt (76 comments total)

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posted by mccarty.tim at 5:47 PM on November 27, 2013 [14 favorites]

Previous whale splosion.
posted by beagle at 5:53 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

I hope he didn't have his mouth open.
posted by jnnla at 5:53 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

I thought they smelled bad...on the outside!
posted by Drinky Die at 5:56 PM on November 27, 2013 [20 favorites]

Ah, Faroese cuisine!
posted by griphus at 5:57 PM on November 27, 2013 [5 favorites]

After you watch the whale explode (and I thought, 'poor old thing'), you can check out Guardian clips of Prince William singing along with Taylor Swift and Jon Bon Jovi and another of a little wallaby living all alone in Highgate Cemetery. The Guardian gives good pictures.
posted by Anitanola at 5:59 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Bart Simpson: This is going to be the biggest dead thing we've ever poked with a stick.
Milhouse Van Houten: If only that flattened squirrel could see us now.
posted by 445supermag at 5:59 PM on November 27, 2013 [7 favorites]

This sort of thing would never happen on Orkney.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:59 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]

Hello, Butterball?
posted by hal9k at 6:01 PM on November 27, 2013 [10 favorites]

Looks like there is a new Bukake world champion.
posted by humanfont at 6:05 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

You can see the smell actually sliding out as a physical entity.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:07 PM on November 27, 2013 [6 favorites]

Whale explodes in Taiwan.
posted by unliteral at 6:07 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ooooh, that's just offal.
posted by ArmandoAkimbo at 6:08 PM on November 27, 2013 [53 favorites]

I was wondering why people were talking about exploding whales so much today. Old news, I thought. Apparently not.

And the guy who blew up the famous one in Oregon died recently? Sad. Following the links, does the original Oregon reporter's account not remind you of Les Nessman's Thanksgiving report?

... What a sight, ladies and gentlemen. What a sight. The 'copter seems to circling the parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of a helicopter. It's a dark object, perhaps a skydiver plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air... There's a third... No parachutes yet... Those can't be skydivers. I can't tell just yet what they are but... Oh my God! They're turkeys! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the humanity! People are running about. The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Folks, I don't know how much longer... The crowd is running for their lives. I think I'm going to step inside. I can't stand here and watch this anymore. No, I can't go in there. Children are searching for their mothers and oh, not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this. I don't know how much longer I can hold my position here, Johnny. The crowd...

Dr. Johnny Fever: Les? Les? Les, are you there? Les isn't there. Thanks for that on-the-spot report, Les. For those of you who've just tuned in, the Pinedale Shopping Mall has just been bombed with live turkeys. Film at eleven.

I am waiting for the ultimate video: this time the whale will turn inside out, THEN it will explode.
posted by maudlin at 6:09 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]

VOM!

That poor thing's guts blew out higher than the dude was tall!

Dear Universe: please give that 'splosion whale a scintillating pure beam of light afterworld.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:12 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

He blowed up real good.
posted by Anitanola at 6:13 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Whale explodes in Taiwan.

Oh man. Seems like the first thing you would want to do with a megafauna carcass is to vent it, possibly using a series of PVC pipes stuck into its viscera at varying depths. Presumably, waste-disposal experts don't come into this situation often enough to train for this kind of thing.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:13 PM on November 27, 2013

ARRGH!

Was working on a post about this, here's the gist:

Sometimes the explosions occur because of the natural buildup of gases during decomposition.

Sometimes the explosion occurs because DYNAMITE.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:25 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Pretty sure there is a third reason: alien probes
posted by elizardbits at 6:29 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

One last thing: this also happened to William the Conqueror at his funeral, which can't have been very kingly, even by medieval standards:

The monk of Caen writes that William was "great in body and strong, tall in stature but not ungainly." When it came time to bury the heavy body, it was discovered that the stone sarcophagus had been made too short. There was an attempt to force the bloated corpse and, says Orderic, "the swollen bowels burst, and an intolerable stench assailed the nostrils of the by-standers and the whole crowd." Even the frankincense and spices of the censers was not enough to mask the smell, and the rites were hurriedly concluded.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:31 PM on November 27, 2013 [20 favorites]

"What's this thing coming toward me? So wide and flat and shallow and almost out of my reach…each…beach'! That's it! Beach! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me…?"
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:32 PM on November 27, 2013 [28 favorites]

He ran away and left the big stinking mess for the women to clean up while he regaled the story to the lads over a pint, if history is any indicator.
posted by Daddy-O at 6:33 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

it's ok, she used really absorbent paper towels
posted by nathancaswell at 6:34 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

My friends and I used to huff whale intestinal fumes. That stuff fucks you up, dude!
posted by ChuckRamone at 6:41 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

If they are looking for someone to clean it up I hear Silvio Berlusconi is available
posted by elizardbits at 6:42 PM on November 27, 2013 [5 favorites]

My wife was very upset by this story, until she found out that the whale was already dead before it exploded.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:42 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Smelly Dave!
posted by ariel_caliban at 6:44 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

The same thing happens to me when I eat chicken and rice from Halal carts.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:54 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

MUST REPLACE FAIL WHALE AT ONCE
posted by Devonian at 6:59 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

While reasing this thread on my phone, for a moment I thought the "add favorite" plus signs were astrerisks, and thought pb had a sick sense of humor. I kind of wish he did.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:00 PM on November 27, 2013

Oh no, not again.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 7:06 PM on November 27, 2013 [13 favorites]

5: Hey man, pull my flipper!
4: Better out than in
3: Do not taunt the dynamite minke
2. Running for the wasabi will not help
1. I guess they call it spermicide, but I'm too full...
posted by Devonian at 7:22 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

I have, on my desk in front of me, my lunch. It's a wonderful sandwich. It's on nice bread, with smoked turkey breast and home cured smoked ham (we did our Thanksgiving last Saturday). It's got cranberry sauce on the turkey side, mayonnaise and oregano on the ham side. I was just about to get up and toast it before eating my lunch while checking out Metafilter. I figured I'd click on the link above.

I'm no longer as enthusiastic about my sandwhich.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:25 PM on November 27, 2013 [11 favorites]

Save the whales. Before they blast themselves into oblivion.
posted by stevil at 7:38 PM on November 27, 2013

Is it possible that the Japanese whaling research vessels are really just performing a preemptive surprise attack on these gargantuan suicide bombers? The hidden jihad.
posted by Metro Gnome at 7:39 PM on November 27, 2013

Is this something that could be weaponized? Improvised Explosive Whale?
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:49 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

This thread is bursting to the gills with great comments.
posted by Annika Cicada at 7:57 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

One last thing: this also happened to William the Conqueror at his funeral, which can't have been very kingly, even by medieval standards

There's also a much-debated account of Elizabeth I's corpse exploding in the coffin ("her bodie and head break with such a crack that spleated the wood lead and cer cloth").
posted by thomas j wise at 7:57 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Sperm whale Thanksgiving is earlier than American Thanksgiving.

If anyone sees me lying on my side tomorrow, they should not, repeat *not* poke my stomach like this.
posted by Random Person at 7:58 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

The amazing world of animals ?
posted by PHINC at 8:01 PM on November 27, 2013

This is why I want to be cremated.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:10 PM on November 27, 2013

Lots of dead squid caught some rad air there
posted by scruss at 8:13 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Imagine if that thing had IMPLODED!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:18 PM on November 27, 2013

You have to be pretty gutsy to have this guy's job.

I'm here all week...try the muktuk
posted by salishsea at 8:33 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

You have to be pretty gutsy to have this guy's job.

It's times like this I wish MeFi had emoji so I could say THUMBS UP / SMILEY FACE GUY
posted by nathancaswell at 8:45 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

"don't be so sentimental, things explode every day"
posted by philip-random at 9:04 PM on November 27, 2013

Gross!!!!
posted by ph00dz at 9:18 PM on November 27, 2013

Beached As!
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 9:44 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Thanks for reminding me to pick up tampons.
posted by dr_dank at 9:44 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

to, uh

to absorb your rotting whale guts

i suggest super plus i guess
posted by elizardbits at 9:46 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

"Exploding Whale Diva Cup" is my second-favorite Les Claypool album.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:53 PM on November 27, 2013 [7 favorites]

At :21 you can see Luke.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:37 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

So Faroe foul a day I have not seen.

This is also a lot funnier if you imagine the guy was just walking around with a pointy stick picking up litter for community service. To me, at least.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:57 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think this webpage takes the record for dynamic content... NoScript reported the article wanted to run scripts on 23 different websites -- criteo, Facebook, Twitter, gstatic, LinkedIn, QuantServe, Optimizely, Google, GoogleAPIs, Outbeat, Chartbrain, 2o7, Wunderloop, Outbrain, Ophan, etc, etc. Shit like this is how we're going to end up with the next big virus problem.

I mean, come on, LinkedIn? WTF?
posted by crapmatic at 11:20 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]

So disappointed that this deceased whale will be many people's first/only introduction to the Faroe Islands.

The Faroes is a gorgeous group of 18 islands in the middle of the North Atlantic, nestled between Norway, Iceland and Scotland. The islands are under the sovereignty of Denmark, but - much like Greenland - the Faroes have achieved Home Rule.

I spent a few weeks in the Faroes, last summer. The people are lovely, the roads are fantastic, the views are gobsmacking. There are more sheep than people in these islands, and the roads are generally quiet. The islands feature many tunnels, a few short bridges, and staggering cliffs with gentle green slopes on the other side. The cliffs, the views, and the eventual sunsets, are so photogenic.

It's hard to get into the Faroes, as only one airline has the rights to land there, Atlantic Airways. The service from Reykjavik to Vagar was friendly and efficient - like any other Scandinavian airline. On the day of my flight we were delayed on arrival by fog, so the plane made a detour at the last minute and landed in Bergen for a few hours. We waited for the fog to pass, and took off from Norway and tried landing again. I was surprised that, despite the large size of the aircraft, the people inside all appeared to know one another. The Faroes is a small country (even smaller than Iceland !!) and communities are small. During our detour to Norway, and our few hours of roosting on the tarmac, people opened boxes of cookies and chocolates, and shared with one another on the aircraft. Acquaintances were made, friendships renewed. Gosh those cookies were good.

During my extended visit to the Faroes I kept bumping into my 'flight friends' again and again, in the North, South, and centre of the group of islands. Despite my first-time visit to the Faroes, not knowing the language or the lay of the land, I found people approachable, friendly, and so interested in finding out why a Canadian would visit their far-flung country.

If there is a memory that rises above the others it will be about the roads. Well-graded. Perfect asphalt. One-lane (with pullouts). And the tunnels. Oh, the tunnels. The more recent tunnels are two-lanes (or more) well-lit, tall and wide. But the more distant ones are like a fairy tale horror story: narrow, short, one lane (yes, two cars driving towards one another) not lit, and going on for miles (with pull-outs inside the tunnel, oh yeah). Let's just say that my drive to the End of The World on the Southernmost island was nearly the end of my world.

But now, that adventure makes for a great story.

Do visit the Faroes, it's worth the detour, the complex airline reservations, and the lonely drives to look around. You will be richly rewarded.
posted by seawallrunner at 12:11 AM on November 28, 2013 [19 favorites]

A (much) smaller whale washed up on the beach near my house last week. Man does it reek. I pity the man in the video.
posted by charmcityblues at 12:25 AM on November 28, 2013

Being made to watch a 30 second ad for delicious Maltesers chocolate before being able to watch a 34 second clip of a rotting, dead whale's guts blow out. The Mars company must be delighted with their expensive Guardian product placement.
posted by Caskeum at 12:26 AM on November 28, 2013 [5 favorites]

Being made to watch a 30 second ad for delicious Maltesers

Using Firefox browser? Try... Adblock Plus.
posted by Mister Bijou at 1:13 AM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]

There she blows!-there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:57 AM on November 28, 2013

"and now, finally, monsieur, a whalefer thin mint"
posted by pyramid termite at 2:59 AM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

I was eating a raspberry doughnut....

I bit into at almost exactly the wrong time.
I think I need to go and lie down a bit.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:00 AM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

This is what I'm going to look like in a couple of hours...
posted by phaedon at 4:01 AM on November 28, 2013

The Register has a good take on this (and without any ads on the video):

New exploding whale vid once again shows true porpoise of internet
posted by illongruci at 4:15 AM on November 28, 2013

My friends and I used to huff whale intestinal fumes

Those long small-town evenings, the hours hang pretty heavy sometimes, eh?
posted by Segundus at 5:24 AM on November 28, 2013

Astounding to find evidence that Zaphod Beeblebrox must have just recently engaged the Infinite Improbability Drive in the Heart of Gold.
posted by juiceCake at 6:51 AM on November 28, 2013

It's weird, dead animals make me sad, even seeing roadkill makes me go "aww :( "

Yet, I can NOT stop watching this video. It's mesmerising and I can't quite articulate why.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:20 AM on November 28, 2013

Came to make the Thanksgiving-stuffed joke and see the masters beat me to it. So let me just reiterate seawallrunner's love for the Faroes. My experience was much shorter and less personal, but I was also blown away with how beautiful and interesting the place is. Here's some photos I took; here's a good one. No exploding whales.
posted by Nelson at 7:30 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh Nelson, after driving the steep, narrow, one-lane switchbacky road to Gjogv, in the fog and poor visibility... Well, I was ready to drive /anywhere/ after that. And beautiful Gjogv was such a pleasant ( sunny ) reward after the day's journey. Such a quiet perfect place.
posted by seawallrunner at 9:06 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do visit the Faroes, it's worth the detour, the complex airline reservations, and the lonely drives to look around. You will be richly rewarded.

WELCOME TO THE FAROES

HOPE YOU LIKE MIASMA
posted by Sebmojo at 12:55 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Can you think of a more ridiculous way to die?

I've always thought that my friend who nearly died of an infected midge bite (but is fine now) was that, but, no. You are right. Weaponised cetacean gut cannon has just replaced it.
posted by Sebmojo at 2:36 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Faroes look absolutely beautiful to visit--in the summer. I'll bet winter is a bear.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:55 PM on November 28, 2013

Look, I saw the video about the elephant that sat on the guy's head. And Got stuck. So, no, let's get back to cat pictures and quit screwing around in whale guts.
posted by mule98J at 7:22 PM on November 28, 2013

Faroes look absolutely beautiful to visit--in the summer. I'll bet winter is a bear.

Yeah, but in the winter, you can have a whale of a good time.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:26 PM on November 28, 2013

In the wintertime they have the Gulfstream. So no, it's not harsh. And these days, the chances of seeing the Northern Lights in the Northern latitudes are quite high.
posted by seawallrunner at 9:31 PM on November 28, 2013

Not sure anyone is going to read this far down, but I seriously just watched a Jelly Belly ad in order to watch this video. Not exactly great ad placement.
posted by fyrebelley at 11:10 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Pssttt dude, pull my flipper.
posted by stormpooper at 7:36 AM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]