Squueee....wheeeeeeeeeeee
July 8, 2014 9:49 AM Subscribe
Pandas on a slide (SLYT).
And on a swing!
(Spoiler alert: panda not very good at swing, but excellent at relax.)
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:05 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
(Spoiler alert: panda not very good at swing, but excellent at relax.)
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:05 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
That woman has the best job in the world.
posted by danabanana at 10:07 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by danabanana at 10:07 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
My understanding is that pandas' lack of swing is in fact a big contributor to why their numbers are so low.
posted by kmz at 10:08 AM on July 8, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by kmz at 10:08 AM on July 8, 2014 [6 favorites]
OKAY SO I have been to the Wolong Panda Science Party thing in Chengdu like 3 times? Maybe 4? IDK PANDAS. Anyway yes, the people who work there amongst the babby pandas all day long all seem to have a sort of serene glow of contented glee about them.
posted by elizardbits at 10:12 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 10:12 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
and also if at any point someone asks you if you want to see an Educational Panda Video you should decline immediately with regrets, because some things cannot ever be unseen
posted by elizardbits at 10:14 AM on July 8, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 10:14 AM on July 8, 2014
Finalist, 2014 "Does What It Says On The Tin" Competition, Fan Favorite Division.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:18 AM on July 8, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:18 AM on July 8, 2014 [4 favorites]
white fuzzy rumpy squee. pileofsquee is an accurate tag.
posted by sweetkid at 10:23 AM on July 8, 2014
posted by sweetkid at 10:23 AM on July 8, 2014
Maybe don't put your endangered species jungle gym partially over concrete though?
posted by WCWedin at 10:23 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by WCWedin at 10:23 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
HOW ARE THEY SO ROLY-POLY?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:30 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:30 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
These guys are all kinds of adorable, I'll give 'em that, but I kind of feel like I got ripped off.
The one time I went to the San Diego Zoo, which is about 3000 miles away from where I live, I couldn't wait to see the pandas. For some reason, pandas are the most beloved and fascinating animals ever. Every time a panda takes a shit in captivity it gets coverage on the national news. Seriously, the panda lobby must give a ton of money to whomever is in charge of such things.
So I go out to San Diego, I'm walking around the zoo just waiting... waiting for that moment when I can see the magical panda, the greatest animal since that unicorn who can load a dishwasher, and when I finally get to the panda palace there's just this... black and white... lump. A smelly black and white lump.
It didn't juggle. It didn't do a happy jig. It wasn't riding a little tricycle or sliding down a slide. It wasn't eating, yawning, burping, farting, or doing anything remotely cute or interesting. It just lay there like the amorphous blob that it was. It was one stripper-Leia away from being a monochrome Jabba the Hut taking a nap.
It was boring. I'd really felt as if I'd been misled.
I walked a little ways and found some Russian brown bear tearing apart a bloody hunk of meat, grunting and groaning, little pink chunks of another animal all over it's jaw. It was pretty damn gnarly.
You hear that, Panda? That's you you fucking bear.
posted by bondcliff at 10:33 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
The one time I went to the San Diego Zoo, which is about 3000 miles away from where I live, I couldn't wait to see the pandas. For some reason, pandas are the most beloved and fascinating animals ever. Every time a panda takes a shit in captivity it gets coverage on the national news. Seriously, the panda lobby must give a ton of money to whomever is in charge of such things.
So I go out to San Diego, I'm walking around the zoo just waiting... waiting for that moment when I can see the magical panda, the greatest animal since that unicorn who can load a dishwasher, and when I finally get to the panda palace there's just this... black and white... lump. A smelly black and white lump.
It didn't juggle. It didn't do a happy jig. It wasn't riding a little tricycle or sliding down a slide. It wasn't eating, yawning, burping, farting, or doing anything remotely cute or interesting. It just lay there like the amorphous blob that it was. It was one stripper-Leia away from being a monochrome Jabba the Hut taking a nap.
It was boring. I'd really felt as if I'd been misled.
I walked a little ways and found some Russian brown bear tearing apart a bloody hunk of meat, grunting and groaning, little pink chunks of another animal all over it's jaw. It was pretty damn gnarly.
You hear that, Panda? That's you you fucking bear.
posted by bondcliff at 10:33 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
omg bondcliff you just reminded me of something SUPER AWESOME
posted by elizardbits at 10:38 AM on July 8, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 10:38 AM on July 8, 2014
Glad I could help.
posted by bondcliff at 10:39 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by bondcliff at 10:39 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
I gotta say, my expectations for this were preeeetty high... and it was way better than I could've hoped for. Even the panda that got flipped off the end of the slide seemed pretty happy.
posted by obfuscation at 10:39 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by obfuscation at 10:39 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: one stripper-Leia away from being a monochrome Jabba the Hut taking a nap.
posted by arcticseal at 10:47 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by arcticseal at 10:47 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
What's the collective noun for pandas? After watching that slide video I nominate a splat of pandas.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 11:00 AM on July 8, 2014
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 11:00 AM on July 8, 2014
a wobble of pandas
posted by elizardbits at 11:01 AM on July 8, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 11:01 AM on July 8, 2014 [5 favorites]
A sleuth or sloth of bears, according to Wikipedia. There isn't one for panda.
Based on my aforementioned experience, I propose "A bullshit of pandas."
posted by bondcliff at 11:05 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
Based on my aforementioned experience, I propose "A bullshit of pandas."
posted by bondcliff at 11:05 AM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
an ass-over-teakettle of pandas
posted by JanetLand at 11:06 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by JanetLand at 11:06 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
I dunno, watch again: Panda just hanging out, oh food person, where's she going? Up hill? Uh, no, wait here, well, food ok. Oh nooooo. Crap stupid hill, where's food?
If you watch, the second time she needs to give the poor guy a push.
posted by sammyo at 11:13 AM on July 8, 2014
If you watch, the second time she needs to give the poor guy a push.
posted by sammyo at 11:13 AM on July 8, 2014
Maybe don't put your endangered species jungle gym partially over concrete though?
Heck, why not just cover the whole Earth with bubble wrap so that none of the pwecious pandas will ever get a boo-boo on their widdle heads?
I'm sick of all this Millennial ursine molly-coddling. In my day, bears wore hats and ties and rode around on unicycles while juggling bowling pins, and by gum, they liked it!
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:16 AM on July 8, 2014 [5 favorites]
Heck, why not just cover the whole Earth with bubble wrap so that none of the pwecious pandas will ever get a boo-boo on their widdle heads?
I'm sick of all this Millennial ursine molly-coddling. In my day, bears wore hats and ties and rode around on unicycles while juggling bowling pins, and by gum, they liked it!
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:16 AM on July 8, 2014 [5 favorites]
Man, I wish pandas would just go extinct already! They're SO CUTE and they're such a bad conservation investment but they're SO DAMN CUTE I just watch them fall down things adorably over and over and hope for the end to come quickly.
posted by ChuraChura at 11:45 AM on July 8, 2014
posted by ChuraChura at 11:45 AM on July 8, 2014
All the dodos in dodo heaven are looking down and wishing they'd only been cuter. Sorry dodos, we only save the roly-poly species we endangered to begin with.
posted by tommasz at 11:58 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 11:58 AM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Too much cute makes my belly hurt!
posted by gatorbiddy at 12:30 PM on July 8, 2014
posted by gatorbiddy at 12:30 PM on July 8, 2014
I have been stressed to the max since I was made redundant (and yet must stay in job for two weeks to get separation pay) and THIS made today worthwhile. I felt serene and calm during the entirety of the Panda parade.
THANK YOU!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:50 PM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
THANK YOU!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:50 PM on July 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
An "implausible amount" of pandas.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:05 PM on July 8, 2014
posted by Navelgazer at 1:05 PM on July 8, 2014
What's the collective noun for pandas?
Pandamonium!
posted by kirkaracha at 1:40 PM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
I needed this so bad. Thank you.
(I'm amazed how they can collide at crazy speeds and not hurt each other)
posted by Gymnopedist at 2:29 PM on July 8, 2014
(I'm amazed how they can collide at crazy speeds and not hurt each other)
posted by Gymnopedist at 2:29 PM on July 8, 2014
Also, there's something about the human caretakers playing and laughing with them that makes this 1000x more charming.
posted by Gymnopedist at 2:30 PM on July 8, 2014
posted by Gymnopedist at 2:30 PM on July 8, 2014
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posted by vanar sena at 9:59 AM on July 8, 2014 [3 favorites]