In a not too distant cocktail lounge, about 5PM A.D
July 26, 2014 8:26 AM Subscribe
You can do drunk things, Trumpy.
posted by dr_dank at 8:44 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 8:44 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I call foul. There's no pineal juice in the Leech Woman drink.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:45 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:45 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Never heard of Licor 43 before. Sounds delicious!
posted by Thorzdad at 8:55 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Thorzdad at 8:55 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I fucking drank a Killer Shrew. In high school on a dare, obviously. I probably still have a picture of the ingredients in the blender.
Do not drink the Killer Shrew.
posted by clavicle at 9:20 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Do not drink the Killer Shrew.
posted by clavicle at 9:20 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I call foul. There's no pineal juice in the Leech Woman drink.
"does he keep whiskey for all his patients?"
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
"does he keep whiskey for all his patients?"
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Huh. Cocktails and MST3k. Let me check what the Whelkness Meter has to say about this post.
Whelkness Meter
|---------------x-|
not whelk extremely whelk
Yeah, it checks out. This is definitely a whelk post.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:49 AM on July 26, 2014 [29 favorites]
Whelkness Meter
|---------------x-|
not whelk extremely whelk
Yeah, it checks out. This is definitely a whelk post.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:49 AM on July 26, 2014 [29 favorites]
That said, I'm saddened there's no Mitchell cocktail.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:52 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:52 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I gotta say, the Hercules Against the Moon Men is a drink I wouldn't mind having and I like it very much.
posted by ob1quixote at 10:04 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by ob1quixote at 10:04 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was wondering about Manos, myself. Looks way too classy.
What, dear God, is in a Mr. B Natural?
posted by Madamina at 10:05 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
What, dear God, is in a Mr. B Natural?
posted by Madamina at 10:05 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Why, a love of music of course!
posted by The Whelk at 10:06 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:06 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
I spoke too soon. But I was right about a dairy component and complete fakeness.
posted by Madamina at 10:09 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by Madamina at 10:09 AM on July 26, 2014
Licor 43 is indeed delicious. It's not too expensive if you can find it either. It is very sugar, to the point of crystallizing if you leave it too long. I highly recommend it.
posted by maryr at 10:09 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by maryr at 10:09 AM on July 26, 2014
How can you not have a Danger Death Ray drink and not have a double shot of Cointreau in it?
I created a couple MST3k drinks over the years as well. Here's the ones I remember, mostly created in a reckless, haphazard manner at a time when I had no solid concept of mixology.
The Gymkata (film frequently referenced, but sadly never presented) Vodka, White Wine, a bit of tonic and a splash of grenadine. (This 'punch' drink has vodka for the kick, the white wine and grenadine in remembrance of that silly getup or the fire extinguisher fight scene. The tonic is merely a distraction.) It's not that good, but then again, neither is the film.
Hinder 90 I can't exactly remember the recipe, as I made it from random stuff in a dorm room bar on my 21st birthday, but I do remember it had about some sort of triple sec/Bacardi 151/bar sugar combination and a very old packet of lime flavor-aid. There may have been a horribly unwise dash of southern comfort in there too. I kept insisting on the name Hinder 90, but everyone else called it Green Dishwater Death, given that it looked like a cup of watery Comet cleanser.
posted by chambers at 10:11 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I created a couple MST3k drinks over the years as well. Here's the ones I remember, mostly created in a reckless, haphazard manner at a time when I had no solid concept of mixology.
The Gymkata (film frequently referenced, but sadly never presented) Vodka, White Wine, a bit of tonic and a splash of grenadine. (This 'punch' drink has vodka for the kick, the white wine and grenadine in remembrance of that silly getup or the fire extinguisher fight scene. The tonic is merely a distraction.) It's not that good, but then again, neither is the film.
Hinder 90 I can't exactly remember the recipe, as I made it from random stuff in a dorm room bar on my 21st birthday, but I do remember it had about some sort of triple sec/Bacardi 151/bar sugar combination and a very old packet of lime flavor-aid. There may have been a horribly unwise dash of southern comfort in there too. I kept insisting on the name Hinder 90, but everyone else called it Green Dishwater Death, given that it looked like a cup of watery Comet cleanser.
posted by chambers at 10:11 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I couldn't have resisted the urge to make Space Munity some kind of alocholic protein shake.
posted by The Whelk at 10:14 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:14 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
That said, I'm saddened there's no Mitchell cocktail.
I have a haunting suspicion that somehow baby oil and Schlitz is involved. Apologies for reviving that horrifying image for those who have seen Mitchell.
posted by chambers at 10:15 AM on July 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
I have a haunting suspicion that somehow baby oil and Schlitz is involved. Apologies for reviving that horrifying image for those who have seen Mitchell.
posted by chambers at 10:15 AM on July 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
That said, I'm saddened there's no Mitchell cocktail.
No cocktails. Just beer and vodka (glass provided upon request).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 10:18 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
No cocktails. Just beer and vodka (glass provided upon request).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 10:18 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I'm pretty sure the Mitchell is just half a beer with a cigarette butt in it left to soak overnight.
posted by tau_ceti at 10:19 AM on July 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by tau_ceti at 10:19 AM on July 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
The Mitchell Cocktail
One (1) Mitchell
Shake slowly.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:20 AM on July 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
One (1) Mitchell
Shake slowly.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:20 AM on July 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
I want some sort of Ben and Jerry's milkshake for Time Chasers, since they already used maple syrup for Canada.
posted by maryr at 10:23 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by maryr at 10:23 AM on July 26, 2014
One thing I am really going to miss about my roommate is that her computer still (loudly) plays the AOL "You have mail!" message for new email and every time, every. time. my brain auto-completes it with "...pattern baldness!"
posted by maryr at 10:26 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by maryr at 10:26 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
The Girl In The Gold Boots should be a warn half-finished Tab and Vodka
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
I didn't look through the entire thing: is there an Idiot Control or a Rosdower?
If not, I propose that a Rowsdower is 1 scoop Tang, 1 Miller High-Life, 1 finger Montezuma Tequila. Pour 1 scoop Tang into a well cleaned tin can, fill to top with High-Life and consume the rest of the High-Life. Stir vigorously. Pour Montezuma into can. Alternative preparation can include ridging the rim of the can with coarse sea-salt beforehand.
I'm not sure about Idiot Control, but I think it might have pomade in it.
posted by codacorolla at 10:47 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
If not, I propose that a Rowsdower is 1 scoop Tang, 1 Miller High-Life, 1 finger Montezuma Tequila. Pour 1 scoop Tang into a well cleaned tin can, fill to top with High-Life and consume the rest of the High-Life. Stir vigorously. Pour Montezuma into can. Alternative preparation can include ridging the rim of the can with coarse sea-salt beforehand.
I'm not sure about Idiot Control, but I think it might have pomade in it.
posted by codacorolla at 10:47 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Sorry, codacorolla, I don't have time for that amount of work. I'm having a series of elaborate heart attacks. Just give me the can!
posted by zap rowsdower at 11:19 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by zap rowsdower at 11:19 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
What, dear God, is in a Mr. B Natural?
Perhaps a "Mr. B & B Natural" with a little blue Curaçao for the perfect color?
posted by Bromius at 11:43 AM on July 26, 2014
Perhaps a "Mr. B & B Natural" with a little blue Curaçao for the perfect color?
posted by Bromius at 11:43 AM on July 26, 2014
Imagine drinking Coily The Spring Sprite...
NO SPRINGS ( and no chaser)
posted by The Whelk at 11:51 AM on July 26, 2014
NO SPRINGS ( and no chaser)
posted by The Whelk at 11:51 AM on July 26, 2014
Is a Good Old Fashioned Nightmare Fuel made like an Old Fashioned?
posted by JHarris at 11:55 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by JHarris at 11:55 AM on July 26, 2014
Is there a cocktail I could enjoy while, say, leaving the Bronx?
posted by dialetheia at 11:56 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by dialetheia at 11:56 AM on July 26, 2014
The Gamera:
Fill cocktail shaker with turtle meat. Add one splash sake.
Shake. Serve really neat.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:18 PM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Fill cocktail shaker with turtle meat. Add one splash sake.
Shake. Serve really neat.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:18 PM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm not sure about Idiot Control, but I think it might have pomade in it.
Gin & Diet Pepsi. No ice.
posted by Pudhoho at 12:33 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Gin & Diet Pepsi. No ice.
posted by Pudhoho at 12:33 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Is there walnut liquor for an obsure A Touch Of Satan cocktail
posted by The Whelk at 12:35 PM on July 26, 2014
posted by The Whelk at 12:35 PM on July 26, 2014
What, dear God, is in a Mr. B Natural?
A mixture of alcohol carefully calculated to make you feel like a happy king.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:57 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
A mixture of alcohol carefully calculated to make you feel like a happy king.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:57 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I had a drink last night* with walnut liquor in it, so out certainly exists but I have no knowledge of what it was called.
* = In addituon ti walnut liquor, the drink also had rye and green chartreuse, three things I don't particularly like, but the drink was fantastic. I can't explain it, other than judicious use of a large swath orange peel.
posted by maryr at 12:58 PM on July 26, 2014
* = In addituon ti walnut liquor, the drink also had rye and green chartreuse, three things I don't particularly like, but the drink was fantastic. I can't explain it, other than judicious use of a large swath orange peel.
posted by maryr at 12:58 PM on July 26, 2014
The Fugitive Alien really needs to be garnished with a forklift, I wonder if you could find a small wind-up one, or an ice mold in that shape.
Hoping for a cocktail based on Master Ninja that includes plum wine, to simulate the tranquility of post-war Japan.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 3:36 PM on July 26, 2014
Hoping for a cocktail based on Master Ninja that includes plum wine, to simulate the tranquility of post-war Japan.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 3:36 PM on July 26, 2014
"Devil Fish" is just someone squirting coconut tanning butter into your mouth
posted by The Whelk at 3:50 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 3:50 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
The Manos
Begin by driving to a distant liquor store...
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:01 PM on July 26, 2014
Begin by driving to a distant liquor store...
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:01 PM on July 26, 2014
...and two hours later, you still haven't bought any goddamn liquor.
posted by maryr at 7:36 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by maryr at 7:36 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm pretty sure the Biff Drinklots is either a 32-gallon trash can full of grain punch or just a keg of whatever is cheapest that day.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:56 PM on July 26, 2014
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:56 PM on July 26, 2014
Meanwhile, you don't make the Smash Lampjaw cocktail. It makes you.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:36 PM on July 26, 2014
posted by Navelgazer at 8:36 PM on July 26, 2014
The MST3K Wiki reminds us of the ingredients of a Killer Shrew:
Chocolate ice cream
Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries
Peanut M&Ms
Mrs. Butterworth's
Circus Peanuts
Mr. Pibb
Marshmallow Peeps
SweeTarts
Vanilla frosting
Good 'n' Plenty's
Blend for 15 seconds then garnish with a wind-up shrew.
posted by JHarris at 9:47 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Chocolate ice cream
Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries
Peanut M&Ms
Mrs. Butterworth's
Circus Peanuts
Mr. Pibb
Marshmallow Peeps
SweeTarts
Vanilla frosting
Good 'n' Plenty's
Blend for 15 seconds then garnish with a wind-up shrew.
posted by JHarris at 9:47 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Serve with Valium.
posted by clavicle at 10:01 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by clavicle at 10:01 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by inturnaround at 8:34 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]