Secret Shit
September 7, 2014 5:36 AM Subscribe
In-N-Out’s Secret Menu isn't so secret, but Hack The Menu has put together a list of off-book items on a bunch of fast food menus.
"This is a list of the In-N-Out Burger secret menu items. There's a reason why some of these In-N-Out secret menu items are even more popular than regular In-N-Out orders -- it makes you feel like part of an exclusive club. What's on the In-N-Out secret menu? Any items on the In-N-Out secret menu list are highly coveted because they make going to the restaurant kind of a cult activity, something only the "cool people" can do. Now, everybody can be one of the cool kids. What's on the In-N-Out secret menu?"
So is this someone from with a diploma from a "spam blog writing for complete idiots" online mill, or did their writer overdose on something? Cannot really tell.
posted by effbot at 5:49 AM on September 7, 2014 [30 favorites]
So is this someone from with a diploma from a "spam blog writing for complete idiots" online mill, or did their writer overdose on something? Cannot really tell.
posted by effbot at 5:49 AM on September 7, 2014 [30 favorites]
This Web site navigation method is a very well kept secret.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:51 AM on September 7, 2014 [13 favorites]
posted by clvrmnky at 5:51 AM on September 7, 2014 [13 favorites]
So is this someone with a diploma from a "spam blog writing for complete idiots" online mill...
Yeah...That does read like chapter one from SEO for Dummies, doesn't it? And the navigation is pretty much from chapter two of the same book.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:57 AM on September 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
Yeah...That does read like chapter one from SEO for Dummies, doesn't it? And the navigation is pretty much from chapter two of the same book.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:57 AM on September 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
It's like they had a word quota for each entry that was dedicated to not describing the secret menu items.
"a list of the Five Guys secret menu items. There's a reason why some of these 5 Guys secret menu items are even more popular than the usuals on the Five Guys menu -- it makes you feel like part of an exclusive club when you walk up and order something that most the other people around you don't even know about. What's on the Five Guys secret menu? Any item on the Five Guys secret menu is sure to spark up an exciting converstion, so why don't you check it out below. Now, all you lucky foodies can join in on the adventure and get something delicious from the 5 Guys secret menu. So, what's on the secret menu at Five Guys? Let's find out!"posted by donnagirl at 5:59 AM on September 7, 2014 [7 favorites]
So is this someone from with a diploma from a "spam blog writing for complete idiots" online mill
I love your article about spam blog writing for complete idiots. Spam blog writing for complete idiots makes me happy and part of a unique fraternity of people who compete in spam blog writing for complete idiots. It's always fun to do spam blog writing for complete idiots! [etc.]
posted by jaduncan at 6:03 AM on September 7, 2014 [38 favorites]
I love your article about spam blog writing for complete idiots. Spam blog writing for complete idiots makes me happy and part of a unique fraternity of people who compete in spam blog writing for complete idiots. It's always fun to do spam blog writing for complete idiots! [etc.]
posted by jaduncan at 6:03 AM on September 7, 2014 [38 favorites]
I think "secret menu" is secret code for "things you can say to the high school student behind the counter to make sure they have no idea what you are talking about".
posted by Rock Steady at 6:10 AM on September 7, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 6:10 AM on September 7, 2014 [12 favorites]
They left out the real secret Chi-Fil-A menu. If you go through the drive-thru on a Sunday and ask for "Anton LaVey", you will be invited in to a secret chamber and given a menu featuring goat, soy products, and other satanic delicacies.
posted by TedW at 6:18 AM on September 7, 2014 [49 favorites]
posted by TedW at 6:18 AM on September 7, 2014 [49 favorites]
At In'n'Out you can also get your burger medium rare.
posted by brujita at 6:19 AM on September 7, 2014
posted by brujita at 6:19 AM on September 7, 2014
I've heard that if you say the right secret words to matthowie, you can get your MetaFilter between two chicken patties, with extra gravy.
posted by neroli at 6:20 AM on September 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by neroli at 6:20 AM on September 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
It's also sad that a website about fast-food restaurants can't spell "McDonald's."
posted by Umami Dearest at 6:20 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Umami Dearest at 6:20 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think "secret menu" is secret code for "things you can say to the high school student behind the counter to make sure they have no idea what you are talking about".
That sounds backwards. It's probably more like stuff the high school kids working there made up and started selling to their friends until it got to the point the manager had to figure out a way to ring it up on the cash register.
posted by TedW at 6:22 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
That sounds backwards. It's probably more like stuff the high school kids working there made up and started selling to their friends until it got to the point the manager had to figure out a way to ring it up on the cash register.
posted by TedW at 6:22 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
A surprising number of these "secrets" are "order two things of the regular menu and reassemble them yourself", which seems more sad than secretive.
posted by mhoye at 6:26 AM on September 7, 2014 [17 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 6:26 AM on September 7, 2014 [17 favorites]
At In'n'Out you can also get your burger medium rare.
Unless In n Out is buying whole cuts of muscle and grinding them fresh onsite at each location, this strikes me as a risky thing to do.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:32 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
Unless In n Out is buying whole cuts of muscle and grinding them fresh onsite at each location, this strikes me as a risky thing to do.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:32 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
At In'n'Out you can also get your burger medium rare.
The chance of it becoming a literal in-and-out meal is too high for me to ever eat that.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:46 AM on September 7, 2014 [13 favorites]
The chance of it becoming a literal in-and-out meal is too high for me to ever eat that.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:46 AM on September 7, 2014 [13 favorites]
The McDs accross the street from my office had a very special secret menu for a while.
posted by octothorpe at 6:46 AM on September 7, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 6:46 AM on September 7, 2014 [11 favorites]
for Starbucks, there is no secret menu. There are just a bunch of syrups and dry stuff combined in different ways. "Cotton Candy Frappaccino" is meaningless - it's a Vanilla Bean with raspberry syrup added. Be nice to your barista: order a Vanilla Bean frap with additional raspberry syrup. That's how it is on the till, that's what they have to do.
Also, if you're not 12, think about what adding more and more syrup means for the sugar content of your drink.
The only actually secret thing on the Starbucks menu: the ability to order coffee by French Press instead of drip. Every store should have a press, and it's on the till - makes 2 cups.
posted by jb at 6:55 AM on September 7, 2014 [15 favorites]
Also, if you're not 12, think about what adding more and more syrup means for the sugar content of your drink.
The only actually secret thing on the Starbucks menu: the ability to order coffee by French Press instead of drip. Every store should have a press, and it's on the till - makes 2 cups.
posted by jb at 6:55 AM on September 7, 2014 [15 favorites]
It's hard to beat a shopping complex where you can get trader joes and a happy meal full of smack all in one convenient location.
posted by Ferreous at 7:03 AM on September 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by Ferreous at 7:03 AM on September 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
The only actually secret thing on the Starbucks menu: the ability to order coffee by French Press instead of drip. Every store should have a press, and it's on the till - makes 2 cups.
I think this has maybe changed (I haven't tried it in a several years), but Starbucks used to charge by the tea bag, despite the menu listing prices by cup size. So if you ordered a grande with one tea bag, you were charged for the tall, since the grande price assumed two tea bags. (This is not really secret--some locations would ask you how many tea bags you wanted if you ordered a grande.) It used to work this way at Tully's as well, but they changed it, er, six years ago.
posted by hoyland at 7:04 AM on September 7, 2014
I think this has maybe changed (I haven't tried it in a several years), but Starbucks used to charge by the tea bag, despite the menu listing prices by cup size. So if you ordered a grande with one tea bag, you were charged for the tall, since the grande price assumed two tea bags. (This is not really secret--some locations would ask you how many tea bags you wanted if you ordered a grande.) It used to work this way at Tully's as well, but they changed it, er, six years ago.
posted by hoyland at 7:04 AM on September 7, 2014
In fact: I think this website may be just a link farm.
Certainly, they don't understand the food/drinks they are talking about. They claim that a drink with 4 shots of espresso is the most caffeinated you can get, and suggest you ease your way up with a red-eye or black-eye (coffee with 1 or 2 shots of espresso added).
4 shots of espresso: 300mg caffeine
1 grade coffee without espresso: 330mg caffeine
posted by jb at 7:07 AM on September 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
Certainly, they don't understand the food/drinks they are talking about. They claim that a drink with 4 shots of espresso is the most caffeinated you can get, and suggest you ease your way up with a red-eye or black-eye (coffee with 1 or 2 shots of espresso added).
4 shots of espresso: 300mg caffeine
1 grade coffee without espresso: 330mg caffeine
posted by jb at 7:07 AM on September 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
hoyland: Starbucks still charges per tea bag - in Canada, it's 1/tall or grande (one price), 2/venti - unless you say only 1, and they charge you less.
Other actually secret stuff: if you take a lot of milk in your coffee, as for the next cup size up, eg tall in a grande cup. That way you will still be given the 12oz of coffee, and have room to add lots of milk. They should only charge for a tall.
posted by jb at 7:10 AM on September 7, 2014
Other actually secret stuff: if you take a lot of milk in your coffee, as for the next cup size up, eg tall in a grande cup. That way you will still be given the 12oz of coffee, and have room to add lots of milk. They should only charge for a tall.
posted by jb at 7:10 AM on September 7, 2014
Here's a secret I learned at Starbucks: if you order the Peppermint Mocha (one of their seasonal specialties), you will be charged 5 cents more than if you order a mocha with peppermint syrup. No difference in drinks at all.
posted by jenh526 at 7:17 AM on September 7, 2014
posted by jenh526 at 7:17 AM on September 7, 2014
The only secret menu item I ever order is actually at Starbucks: they have small cups ("short" in their goofy jargon) available but never listed on the main menu. It's the amount of coffee I actually want, perfect for drinking before it gets cold. (Oh, this is listed in the FPP, I missed it on my first look.)
posted by Dip Flash at 7:21 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Dip Flash at 7:21 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
Subway makes no sense to me. It's a QSR predicated on the entire concept of picking and choosing everything yourself.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:36 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:36 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
For a shitty SEO-laden site they've done surprisingly little monetization. Ghostery picks up 7 trackers: compare 20 on HuffPo, 15 on Gawker, 3 on Metafilter. And they're all pretty much social media buttons and Google AdSense / Analytics, nothing too awful. Two or three ads per page, which is a lot but not ridiculous for such baldly commercial content.
The real crime is they want you to eat things that look like this. "Hack McDonalds to eat purple vomit wrapped in a rubber pancake!"
posted by Nelson at 7:41 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
The real crime is they want you to eat things that look like this. "Hack McDonalds to eat purple vomit wrapped in a rubber pancake!"
posted by Nelson at 7:41 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
Starbucks used to charge by the tea bag
For a while a 'Tall' and a 'Grande' (small & medium) hot tea was the same price because both are just one tea bag in hot water. 'Venti' (large) gets 2 tea bags and hopefully a double cup. After one season with that price scheme Sbux went back to charging different prices for the Tall and Grande, with the reasoning that customers found it confusing that the same drinks only different size were the same price.
We Americans are trained well in capitalism.
for Starbucks, there is no secret menu. There are just a bunch of syrups and dry stuff combined in different ways. "Cotton Candy Frappaccino" is meaningless - it's a Vanilla Bean with raspberry syrup added. Be nice to your barista: order a Vanilla Bean frap with additional raspberry syrup. That's how it is on the till, that's what they have to do.
This. A Thousand Times This.
In addition to the French Press option, you can order a pour-over cup as well. That option gets mentioned a lot once the basic three coffees aren't served on a given day. So if you show up at 3pm wanting a Blonde roast cup of coffee they probably won't have any in the big brewers but should be happy to make a pour-over batch for you. Anyway, the best "secret" drink at Sbux is to order a chocolate smoothie, no chocolate, 7 pumps of chai, with an extra scoop of protein powder in a Venti cup. It has a banana in it! It's like a whole meal!
posted by carsonb at 7:50 AM on September 7, 2014
For a while a 'Tall' and a 'Grande' (small & medium) hot tea was the same price because both are just one tea bag in hot water. 'Venti' (large) gets 2 tea bags and hopefully a double cup. After one season with that price scheme Sbux went back to charging different prices for the Tall and Grande, with the reasoning that customers found it confusing that the same drinks only different size were the same price.
We Americans are trained well in capitalism.
for Starbucks, there is no secret menu. There are just a bunch of syrups and dry stuff combined in different ways. "Cotton Candy Frappaccino" is meaningless - it's a Vanilla Bean with raspberry syrup added. Be nice to your barista: order a Vanilla Bean frap with additional raspberry syrup. That's how it is on the till, that's what they have to do.
This. A Thousand Times This.
In addition to the French Press option, you can order a pour-over cup as well. That option gets mentioned a lot once the basic three coffees aren't served on a given day. So if you show up at 3pm wanting a Blonde roast cup of coffee they probably won't have any in the big brewers but should be happy to make a pour-over batch for you. Anyway, the best "secret" drink at Sbux is to order a chocolate smoothie, no chocolate, 7 pumps of chai, with an extra scoop of protein powder in a Venti cup. It has a banana in it! It's like a whole meal!
posted by carsonb at 7:50 AM on September 7, 2014
I worked at Taco Bell as a cashier for a while in my early twenties.
It was an odd choice of occupation for somebody so awkward in social interactions, but I soon discovered that the overwhelming majority of orders were fulfilled pretty easily so long as the process stuck to a script... one that increasingly resembled a flowchart as I gained experience.
Even eye contact proved not to be so much of a problem, since I learned how to look vaguely into a customer's eyes without actually trying to read their expression as I gave my recitations. It helped, I think, that most customers saw me as an interface for Taco Bell's menu as much as I saw them as a collection of properties and methods.
Anyway, the coolest thing about Taco Bell's menu was the amount of customization it afforded. You could literally build a food item from scratch using their POS software, provided we had the foodstuffs. Whenever I was asked about the possibility of throwing together a custom order, I'd reply by knowingly quoting the old Burger King slogan: "You can have it your way!"
As you might imagine, Taco Bell employees tend to grow tired of Taco Bell food, which they can order for a discount (or free for managers) on their breaks. Most employees would eventually order/build custom orders of menu items they could still tolerate.
My own custom order was as follows, if my almost-a-decade-old recollection serves:
In human speak, that was two cheese quesadillas (themselves a 'hidden' menu item; the only ones visible on the menu over the counter had chicken or steak) with no spicy jalapeno sauce; one with added beef, and one with added bean. Usually, an employee would use
As a cashier I wasn't privy to ingredient usage estimates, or i-costs as my manager called them, but I always suspected that
For a few years after quitting, I'd stop into the branch occasionally for nostalgia's sake to make insubstantial conversation with the remaining staff, and give my customary order.
...until one day I stopped in and there was nobody there I recognized. I gave my order to the cashier, but he just stared at me blankly. Eventually the manager came out and told me in no uncertain terms that they were no longer in the business of building orders like mine, and had in fact been sanctioned for building such orders in the past.
That, kids, is the story of how I found the only Taco Bell order I could ever truly love, and the story of how I lost it.
I have never set foot inside a Taco Bell since that day.
(When I order chalupas I just use the drive-thru.)
posted by The Confessor at 7:57 AM on September 7, 2014 [44 favorites]
It was an odd choice of occupation for somebody so awkward in social interactions, but I soon discovered that the overwhelming majority of orders were fulfilled pretty easily so long as the process stuck to a script... one that increasingly resembled a flowchart as I gained experience.
Even eye contact proved not to be so much of a problem, since I learned how to look vaguely into a customer's eyes without actually trying to read their expression as I gave my recitations. It helped, I think, that most customers saw me as an interface for Taco Bell's menu as much as I saw them as a collection of properties and methods.
Anyway, the coolest thing about Taco Bell's menu was the amount of customization it afforded. You could literally build a food item from scratch using their POS software, provided we had the foodstuffs. Whenever I was asked about the possibility of throwing together a custom order, I'd reply by knowingly quoting the old Burger King slogan: "You can have it your way!"
As you might imagine, Taco Bell employees tend to grow tired of Taco Bell food, which they can order for a discount (or free for managers) on their breaks. Most employees would eventually order/build custom orders of menu items they could still tolerate.
My own custom order was as follows, if my almost-a-decade-old recollection serves:
1 Q-CHZ
-CJSC
+BF
1 Q-CHZ
-CJSC
+BNIn human speak, that was two cheese quesadillas (themselves a 'hidden' menu item; the only ones visible on the menu over the counter had chicken or steak) with no spicy jalapeno sauce; one with added beef, and one with added bean. Usually, an employee would use
+SBBN instead of +BN on the latter, which always irked me. Both indicate that beans should be used, you see, but +SBBN means that the customer has asked to substitute beans on an item that has beef, and thus should not be charged for requesting the less expensive option.As a cashier I wasn't privy to ingredient usage estimates, or i-costs as my manager called them, but I always suspected that
+SBBN would throw off the inventory.For a few years after quitting, I'd stop into the branch occasionally for nostalgia's sake to make insubstantial conversation with the remaining staff, and give my customary order.
...until one day I stopped in and there was nobody there I recognized. I gave my order to the cashier, but he just stared at me blankly. Eventually the manager came out and told me in no uncertain terms that they were no longer in the business of building orders like mine, and had in fact been sanctioned for building such orders in the past.
That, kids, is the story of how I found the only Taco Bell order I could ever truly love, and the story of how I lost it.
I have never set foot inside a Taco Bell since that day.
(When I order chalupas I just use the drive-thru.)
posted by The Confessor at 7:57 AM on September 7, 2014 [44 favorites]
In'n'Out's website describes how they process their meat in their own facility.
posted by brujita at 8:01 AM on September 7, 2014
posted by brujita at 8:01 AM on September 7, 2014
Didn't know you could ask for free cilantro at Chipotle, so that's rad.
posted by likeatoaster at 8:04 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by likeatoaster at 8:04 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
Didn't know you could ask for free cilantro at Chipotle, so that's rad.
I love that; it's the one off-menu customization I use regularly. (And I was about to hit "post comment" saying so when you beat me to the subject.)
posted by Shmuel510 at 8:07 AM on September 7, 2014
I love that; it's the one off-menu customization I use regularly. (And I was about to hit "post comment" saying so when you beat me to the subject.)
posted by Shmuel510 at 8:07 AM on September 7, 2014
Chipotle also has something called a "three pointer", which I discovered because of my young kid's love of the rice and cheese...and nothing else.
It used to be that I had to actually order a whole bowl and ask them to hold everything back but the rice and cheese. Sympathetic managers would either give me the rice gratis or, more likely, I'd have to pay for the entire $6+ bowl. So then I started ordering the bowl with the meat on the side. I mean I'm paying for it so why risk being charged for it?
Apparently there's now a point system for rice, beans, etc. Most are 1 point, meat is 2 and guac is two I believe. There are Chipotle crew on reddit somewhere that have explained this.
So if you just got rice and meat, nothing else, you could use this cheaper option.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:40 AM on September 7, 2014
It used to be that I had to actually order a whole bowl and ask them to hold everything back but the rice and cheese. Sympathetic managers would either give me the rice gratis or, more likely, I'd have to pay for the entire $6+ bowl. So then I started ordering the bowl with the meat on the side. I mean I'm paying for it so why risk being charged for it?
Apparently there's now a point system for rice, beans, etc. Most are 1 point, meat is 2 and guac is two I believe. There are Chipotle crew on reddit somewhere that have explained this.
So if you just got rice and meat, nothing else, you could use this cheaper option.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:40 AM on September 7, 2014
My experience with Chipotle quesarito (self-link). I did eventually get one and was sadly underwhelmed. I should have taken pictures.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:49 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by cjorgensen at 8:49 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was working at Burger King in the summer of 1999, when BK did a tie-in with the Will Smith steampunk disaster Wild Wild West: the Rodeo Burger. This was a sad little sandwich: a cheeseburger sized patty with cheddar cheese, three onion rings and barbecue sauce. But while the movie was a flop, the burger wasn't. People ordered tons of the things, which was distinctly annoying because you had to leave your station and get the onion rings from the little side compartment where they were kept, which took longer than it sounds like. At lunch or dinner the burger station was slammed and the last thing you needed was to keep leaving to get onion rings for this special snowflake burger. It also had its own cheese, which was annoying because it was barely different in color from the normal American cheese, and its own sauce that was never handy.
Of course, when I was there the "veggie whopper" didn't mean what it does today. It meant a whopper bun with extra veggies - basically a lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup and mayo. Extra cheese if it had cheese.
posted by graymouser at 8:51 AM on September 7, 2014
Of course, when I was there the "veggie whopper" didn't mean what it does today. It meant a whopper bun with extra veggies - basically a lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup and mayo. Extra cheese if it had cheese.
posted by graymouser at 8:51 AM on September 7, 2014
They brought the rodeo burger back this year (without the cheese), which made me happy because it meant barbecue sauce returned to the list of things the people behind the counter would add to your Whopper.
(When there's nothing on the menu with BBQ sauce, I have to add it myself.)
posted by Shmuel510 at 8:56 AM on September 7, 2014
(When there's nothing on the menu with BBQ sauce, I have to add it myself.)
posted by Shmuel510 at 8:56 AM on September 7, 2014
The chipotle nacho thing isn't really a secret item, just a complicated set of instructions to give to the burrito-maker-person.
posted by Lord_Pall at 9:15 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Lord_Pall at 9:15 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Why I do believe I'll drive on up to the local Sonic and ask for a Dr. Pepper Orgasm. Yes indeed. Gonna go do that right now. You bet.
posted by Spatch at 9:21 AM on September 7, 2014
posted by Spatch at 9:21 AM on September 7, 2014
At In'n'Out you can also get your burger medium rare.
Unless In n Out is buying whole cuts of muscle and grinding them fresh onsite at each location, this strikes me as a risky thing to do.--middleclasstool
At my first experience at In n Out, I received a medium rare burger because they undercooked it. Unfortunately I can testify to the risk, as I paid the painful price for the rest of the day. The friend who brought me there was a really big In n Out fan, and was disappointed when I refused to go there again.
Years later, I now go there occasionally if I'm with people who really like it, but I always double check my burger.
posted by eye of newt at 9:54 AM on September 7, 2014
Unless In n Out is buying whole cuts of muscle and grinding them fresh onsite at each location, this strikes me as a risky thing to do.--middleclasstool
At my first experience at In n Out, I received a medium rare burger because they undercooked it. Unfortunately I can testify to the risk, as I paid the painful price for the rest of the day. The friend who brought me there was a really big In n Out fan, and was disappointed when I refused to go there again.
Years later, I now go there occasionally if I'm with people who really like it, but I always double check my burger.
posted by eye of newt at 9:54 AM on September 7, 2014
Also my kids seem to know the Jamba Juice secret menu (not on the top level for some reason). One time my son forgot his favorite and asked the guy, who started rattling off the enormous list until he got to the one my son recognized. I was very impressed.
posted by eye of newt at 10:01 AM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by eye of newt at 10:01 AM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
The staff at these places must hate this off-menu nonsense. Save yourself the trouble of reading the article and directly ask for your meal with a free side order of fry cook semen.
posted by dr_dank at 10:05 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 10:05 AM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
If you want to order off the secret menu at Taco Bell, just ask for "Sadness and Disgust". You'll get whatever's on special with a 64oz cola drink.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:20 AM on September 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 10:20 AM on September 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
Subway makes no sense to me. It's a QSR predicated on the entire concept of picking and choosing everything yourself.
Subway used to have a sub called The Feast which I liked to get, but they no longer do. Every now and then I'll say "I'd like a Feast" and the person behind the counter will actually know what I'm talking about.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 10:55 AM on September 7, 2014
Subway used to have a sub called The Feast which I liked to get, but they no longer do. Every now and then I'll say "I'd like a Feast" and the person behind the counter will actually know what I'm talking about.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 10:55 AM on September 7, 2014
Hey, a kernel of actually useful information: "Don't go [to Five Guys] if you are allergic to peanuts. They not only fry in peanut oil, but they have huge boxes of peanuts by the tables that you are free to shell and munch on while waiting for your burger to be customized."
posted by en forme de poire at 11:08 AM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by en forme de poire at 11:08 AM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
Yup. The defining features of Five Guys are the peanuts, and the fact that they give too damn many fries.
posted by Shmuel510 at 11:26 AM on September 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by Shmuel510 at 11:26 AM on September 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
When you stop at KFC and love the KFC buttery biscuits, you can always add them as a side item to your meal. Just ask for a KFC Side of Biscuits and they'll include 2 biscuits with your order. The price, like any other item, can vary by location but is a pretty nominal fee. Don't forget to ask for the butter and honey to make that side of biscuits seem really special. In fact, while we're talking about side orders, you can add any side to any entree that doesn't come with a side. So get out there and don't be afraid to order a KFC side of buiscuits or any other side with your KFC entree.
uh
I went to KFC last week for reasons (mashed potato reasons) and I'm pretty sure this is not "secret" at all.
posted by kagredon at 11:37 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
uh
I went to KFC last week for reasons (mashed potato reasons) and I'm pretty sure this is not "secret" at all.
posted by kagredon at 11:37 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
The secret Chipotle Nachos where you just buy a burrito bowl but ask them to substitute chips instead of rice is so fucking simple and brilliant that I'm kicking myself for never thinking of it before.
posted by mathowie at 11:54 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by mathowie at 11:54 AM on September 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
In addition to the French Press option, you can order a pour-over cup as well.
Unless they have a Clover machine, in which case that option seems to go off the table and they offer to do it on that for more money...
posted by randomkeystrike at 11:55 AM on September 7, 2014
Unless they have a Clover machine, in which case that option seems to go off the table and they offer to do it on that for more money...
posted by randomkeystrike at 11:55 AM on September 7, 2014
I ate a cooked to order MR Double Double without incident. They will also cook them well done for those so inclined.
posted by brujita at 11:59 AM on September 7, 2014
posted by brujita at 11:59 AM on September 7, 2014
If they have a Clover you should just be ordering that anyway.
posted by carsonb at 12:13 PM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by carsonb at 12:13 PM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
Say what you will about Taco Bell- when you're several punks in Toronto in the early '90s, with $8.57 between you after beer, and you need to procure 5 solid pounds of food, they will hook you up.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2014 [11 favorites]
What a great way around the new gov't regs that would otherwise require large restaurant chains to publish often times embarrassingly unhealthy nutritional revelations
posted by Fupped Duck at 12:18 PM on September 7, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by Fupped Duck at 12:18 PM on September 7, 2014 [8 favorites]
The Surf and Turf at White Castle (a fish filet in the middle of a double cheeseburger) started as an off menu item in Jersey, but is now an official choice in most locations I've been in.
posted by jonmc at 12:41 PM on September 7, 2014
posted by jonmc at 12:41 PM on September 7, 2014
Save yourself the trouble of reading the article and directly ask for your meal with a free side order of fry cook semen.
Or stand behind someone else who's doing the same thing and take advantage of the refractory period.
posted by kewb at 12:52 PM on September 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
Or stand behind someone else who's doing the same thing and take advantage of the refractory period.
posted by kewb at 12:52 PM on September 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
I love a chili cheese burrito at taco bell. Finding counter help who can do it is a crap shoot.
But as long as we're talking fast food - save your receipt, take the survey, and specifically as if store number 867 starts at higher than federal minimum wage and if they have employees at above minimum wage and what benefits they offer.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 1:14 PM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
But as long as we're talking fast food - save your receipt, take the survey, and specifically as if store number 867 starts at higher than federal minimum wage and if they have employees at above minimum wage and what benefits they offer.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 1:14 PM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
the fact that they give too damn many fries.
The words are in English, but they don't make any sense.
Unless they have a Clover machine, in which case that option seems to go off the table and they offer to do it on that for more money...
Nope, just specifically ask for the pour over. They have to make it (as much as they don't like to - it's a bit of a bother). Clover tastes different - better, in my opinion, but stronger than pour over.
But remember: your barista may not know. Training can be very minimal. I went into a Clover Starbucks the other day, asked for a decaf on the clover, and the woman at the till actually said, "We can only do decaf Americano." Which is crazy because a) all Starbucks can do pour over, and b) that Starbucks had a clover (single cup brewing system) which can do any coffee in the house. But I realized that she was either new or a transfer, and probably hadn't been offered proper training before thrown to the wolves.
posted by jb at 3:01 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
The words are in English, but they don't make any sense.
Unless they have a Clover machine, in which case that option seems to go off the table and they offer to do it on that for more money...
Nope, just specifically ask for the pour over. They have to make it (as much as they don't like to - it's a bit of a bother). Clover tastes different - better, in my opinion, but stronger than pour over.
But remember: your barista may not know. Training can be very minimal. I went into a Clover Starbucks the other day, asked for a decaf on the clover, and the woman at the till actually said, "We can only do decaf Americano." Which is crazy because a) all Starbucks can do pour over, and b) that Starbucks had a clover (single cup brewing system) which can do any coffee in the house. But I realized that she was either new or a transfer, and probably hadn't been offered proper training before thrown to the wolves.
posted by jb at 3:01 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
There is such a thing as too many fries. It is the point at which the remaining fries have gone cold and soggy, or in the case of McDonalds, cold and cardboardy.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:12 PM on September 7, 2014
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:12 PM on September 7, 2014
Has anyone had success recently ordering Pickle-Os at a Sonic? The last time I tried at two different Sonics in my town I was told they didn't have them, so if this site is correct and they really are back on a "Secret Menu" this is information that is extremely relevant to my interests.
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:20 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Dr. Zira at 3:20 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Dr. Pepper Orgasm
Playing Saturday night at the Dive Bar.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:25 PM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
Playing Saturday night at the Dive Bar.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:25 PM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
Has anyone had success recently ordering Pickle-Os at a Sonic? The last time I tried at two different Sonics in my town I was told they didn't have them, so if this site is correct and they really are back on a "Secret Menu" this is information that is extremely relevant to my interests.
It's a regional thing, depends on the store. For example, the Sonic near me (Houston) doesn't have Pickle-Os *or* frito pies, but I can get both at just about any Sonic near my hometown in Oklahoma. Pickle-Os tend to be a "rural Sonic" thing...
posted by mrbill at 4:10 PM on September 7, 2014
It's a regional thing, depends on the store. For example, the Sonic near me (Houston) doesn't have Pickle-Os *or* frito pies, but I can get both at just about any Sonic near my hometown in Oklahoma. Pickle-Os tend to be a "rural Sonic" thing...
posted by mrbill at 4:10 PM on September 7, 2014
too many fries only comes some time after my stomach is so full that it is distended and in pain
and I've never actually experienced it, not really - I always have more room for fries. Cold, hot, doesn't matter.
posted by jb at 4:27 PM on September 7, 2014
and I've never actually experienced it, not really - I always have more room for fries. Cold, hot, doesn't matter.
posted by jb at 4:27 PM on September 7, 2014
How annoyed I was when I ordered a Veggie Burger at Five Guys without realizing that it would come without a vegeburger. Instead -- a burger bun with ketchup and vegetables. They hate vegetarians (even part-time vegetarians like me) at Five Guys. I don't think that meat should be wasted on hamburger.
For hamburger devotees everywhere: this is solely my personal preference and I am not trolling you or trying to convert you.
posted by bad grammar at 5:26 PM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
For hamburger devotees everywhere: this is solely my personal preference and I am not trolling you or trying to convert you.
posted by bad grammar at 5:26 PM on September 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
If it makes you feel special to order a different combination of the limited offerings at a chain restaurant, well, I guess that's nice because it makes me feel superior as hell, and, to be honest, my life has been in a weird place for a bit. Carry on.
posted by theora55 at 7:07 PM on September 7, 2014
posted by theora55 at 7:07 PM on September 7, 2014
I don't really understand why you'd go to Five Guys if you very specifically do not ever eat hamburgers, period. That's basically the only thing they sell. It's not even one of those McD's/BQ/Wendy's type experiences where you could get a chicken sandwich or a salad or something.
My real disappointment with all this secret menu nonsense is that the In N Out secret grilled cheese is nowhere near as good as the Sonic totally legit on the menu grilled cheese. The secrecy doesn't even remotely make up for the lack of Texas toast.
posted by Sara C. at 7:13 PM on September 7, 2014
My real disappointment with all this secret menu nonsense is that the In N Out secret grilled cheese is nowhere near as good as the Sonic totally legit on the menu grilled cheese. The secrecy doesn't even remotely make up for the lack of Texas toast.
posted by Sara C. at 7:13 PM on September 7, 2014
I don't really understand why you'd go to In N Out if you very specifically want Texas toast.
posted by kagredon at 7:29 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by kagredon at 7:29 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Also, I heard some rumors (on Serious Eats, I think?) that McDonalds is reintroducing the hot mustard sauce in some locations, but haven't been motivated enough to check, so I guess I'll ask here: can anyone confirm?
posted by kagredon at 7:41 PM on September 7, 2014
posted by kagredon at 7:41 PM on September 7, 2014
It's actually, despite the obvious flaws, as well-done website... but fast food, with very few exceptions, is disgusting.
posted by cell divide at 7:48 PM on September 7, 2014
posted by cell divide at 7:48 PM on September 7, 2014
Wait. The Peanut Buster Parfait is now a "secret menu item"? When did they stop making those? That's like learning the Big Mac was discontinued.
posted by sourwookie at 8:35 PM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 8:35 PM on September 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
My only addition to this is that if you ask for extra anything at Five Guys, it's not an upcharge. If you're with the right sort of friends and casually order extra bacon and cheese at Five Guys, you can watch their brain slow to a crawl as their mouth moves silently, trying to process this simple instruction which they have never before considered and will now use EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Do note, that doing this during rush hours is bad karma and not a good idea. Knowledge is power and whatnot.
The Five Guys patty melt is divine and the mana of the gods, and I'm sorry to have to share the secret with all you unwashed hordes now.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:40 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Do note, that doing this during rush hours is bad karma and not a good idea. Knowledge is power and whatnot.
The Five Guys patty melt is divine and the mana of the gods, and I'm sorry to have to share the secret with all you unwashed hordes now.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:40 PM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I find that I can get a list of the top-secret McDonald's dipping sauces by giving the person behind the counter the super-secret password: "What sauces do you have?"
posted by SisterHavana at 9:48 PM on September 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by SisterHavana at 9:48 PM on September 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
I want to know why Starbucks dropped their green tea matcha Frappuccino, because that is the most delicious stuff ever. Not overly sweet, and the green tea has a slight tang. I'd count that as a legitimate secret menu item, because if you don't remember it, you'd never know that it exists.
As for Chipolte, I just get the normal burrito bowl, and then some chips on the side. Eat off some of the top stuff with the chips, and by the time you're done, the rice is infused with all the flavors of the toppings.
posted by spinifex23 at 10:09 PM on September 7, 2014
As for Chipolte, I just get the normal burrito bowl, and then some chips on the side. Eat off some of the top stuff with the chips, and by the time you're done, the rice is infused with all the flavors of the toppings.
posted by spinifex23 at 10:09 PM on September 7, 2014
Yeah, there are a bunch of Frappucinos that aren't on the list at Starbucks simply to conserve menu space. They're not really "secret", it's just that they don't have room to list every syrup they have and all possible combinations. I've been ordering chai frappucinos for years, despite the fact that they're not on the menu. It's just a pump of whatever fakey chai stuff they put in the hot chai, but in frappucino form.
posted by Sara C. at 10:43 PM on September 7, 2014
posted by Sara C. at 10:43 PM on September 7, 2014
I find that I can get a list of the top-secret McDonald's dipping sauces by giving the person behind the counter the super-secret password: "What sauces do you have?"
Well, yes, thus the caveat in my sentence about how I hadn't been motivated to go to McDonald's since I heard. Also the part about how it's allegedly not at all locations. Or, you know, the whole comment. Sorry for asking.
posted by kagredon at 11:03 PM on September 7, 2014
Well, yes, thus the caveat in my sentence about how I hadn't been motivated to go to McDonald's since I heard. Also the part about how it's allegedly not at all locations. Or, you know, the whole comment. Sorry for asking.
posted by kagredon at 11:03 PM on September 7, 2014
This is the bottom of the site's barrel, I hope?
http://hackthemenu.com/subway/secret-menu/old-cut/
"Bread is dug out from the top like a trench instead of being sliced open from the side"
... But only if you can find a sandwich artist who has been stuck at minimum wage for 10 years and remembers the hated old way.
(The actual subway secret order, I've been told is "hey, could you make me your favorite sub?")
posted by joeyh at 12:22 AM on September 8, 2014
http://hackthemenu.com/subway/secret-menu/old-cut/
"Bread is dug out from the top like a trench instead of being sliced open from the side"
... But only if you can find a sandwich artist who has been stuck at minimum wage for 10 years and remembers the hated old way.
(The actual subway secret order, I've been told is "hey, could you make me your favorite sub?")
posted by joeyh at 12:22 AM on September 8, 2014
Kagredon, my comment above was not meant as a slap at your question at all and I'm sorry it sounded that way. My thought as I wrote it was about the site calling the dipping sauces part of a secret menu when they are part of the regular offering and at least sometimes all listed when they're doing a promotion involving Chicken McNuggets or something like that. I wasn't even thinking about your post!
I haven't heard anything about the hot mustard sauce coming back, but I haven't been motivated to check either - the buffalo sauce is more my thing.
[Speaking of secret sauces that really shouldn't be, the workers at the KFC near where I used to work were regularly baffled when I asked for their buffalo dipping sauce and often denied its existence, even though it was listed on their menu board!]
posted by SisterHavana at 5:15 AM on September 8, 2014
I haven't heard anything about the hot mustard sauce coming back, but I haven't been motivated to check either - the buffalo sauce is more my thing.
[Speaking of secret sauces that really shouldn't be, the workers at the KFC near where I used to work were regularly baffled when I asked for their buffalo dipping sauce and often denied its existence, even though it was listed on their menu board!]
posted by SisterHavana at 5:15 AM on September 8, 2014
I knew a guy in college who was fired from Subway for sweating into the sandwiches too much; that should have just been reframed as a secret menu option.
posted by COBRA! at 5:25 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by COBRA! at 5:25 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yup. The defining features of Five Guys are the peanuts, and the fact that they give too damn many fries.
I watch what I eat pretty closely, and I really will not eat the extra fries.
"little cajun fries, well done, NO TOPPER" does the trick. They just give me the little cup of fries.
posted by mikelieman at 5:31 AM on September 8, 2014
I watch what I eat pretty closely, and I really will not eat the extra fries.
"little cajun fries, well done, NO TOPPER" does the trick. They just give me the little cup of fries.
posted by mikelieman at 5:31 AM on September 8, 2014
The idea of a "secret menu" at Taco Bell is a bit silly once you realize that they'll customize just about anything in any way you want.
It's also a combination blessing and a curse for vegetarians. Because it means that the place becomes almost the only good drive-thru choice, as you still have a great variety to choose from, unlike all the burger places which seem to be all about the meat. All of the tacos are great with the crispy potatoes instead of meat - especially the cheesy gordita crunch. And beans on the burritos. (beans on hard shell tacos make the shell all soft and they fall apart) And apparently a quesadilla with potatoes is also stellar.
posted by evilangela at 9:39 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's also a combination blessing and a curse for vegetarians. Because it means that the place becomes almost the only good drive-thru choice, as you still have a great variety to choose from, unlike all the burger places which seem to be all about the meat. All of the tacos are great with the crispy potatoes instead of meat - especially the cheesy gordita crunch. And beans on the burritos. (beans on hard shell tacos make the shell all soft and they fall apart) And apparently a quesadilla with potatoes is also stellar.
posted by evilangela at 9:39 AM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
II don't really understand why you'd go to Five Guys if you very specifically do not ever eat hamburgers, period. That's basically the only thing they sell. It's not even one of those McD's/BQ/Wendy's type experiences where you could get a chicken sandwich or a salad or something.
Because maybe you're with a group of people who all want to go and you're trying to be flexible. Or your choice is Five Guys and Chik-fil-A and you want to vote with your wallet. Or. Or.
I've never been to Five Guys, but I know plenty of vegetarians who eat at In-N-Out, which also only sells burgers. Honestly, if I didn't eat meat and only had fast food options I'd pick a patty-less In-N-Out over a flabby salad every time.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:54 PM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
Because maybe you're with a group of people who all want to go and you're trying to be flexible. Or your choice is Five Guys and Chik-fil-A and you want to vote with your wallet. Or. Or.
I've never been to Five Guys, but I know plenty of vegetarians who eat at In-N-Out, which also only sells burgers. Honestly, if I didn't eat meat and only had fast food options I'd pick a patty-less In-N-Out over a flabby salad every time.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:54 PM on September 8, 2014 [1 favorite]
SisterHavana, sorry for reading too much into it, I was being overly prickly. My bad.
posted by kagredon at 1:14 PM on September 9, 2014
posted by kagredon at 1:14 PM on September 9, 2014
I don't understand secret menus, in general. Once in a while I end up at a Panera, and these look better than most of the stuff they have listed on the wall. But I would feel like such an asshole saying "I want to order off the secret menu."
Why would a restaurant not advertise their food?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:01 PM on September 10, 2014
Why would a restaurant not advertise their food?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:01 PM on September 10, 2014
http://www.theonion.com/articles/taco-bells-five-ingredients-combined-in-totally-ne,3781/
posted by Che boludo! at 4:26 PM on September 11, 2014
posted by Che boludo! at 4:26 PM on September 11, 2014
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Try it.
posted by oceanjesse at 5:43 AM on September 7, 2014 [1 favorite]