From the glamorous to the romantic to the unusual.

November 13, 2014 8:29 AM

I present to you The Guardian's How Do I Become series.

Have you ever wanted to be a...

Chocolate taster?

A tea tester?

A harbourmaster?

A food stylist?

A voiceover artist?

A bellmaker?

An animal trainer?

Or even a whisky malt master?

Well, I don't know if you could, but you can read about people who are in these occupations and what special skills and knowledge you need to get there.

posted by Kitteh (16 comments total)

I went straight to How do I become … a shepherd and was not disappointed:

One night she was sent to a remote farm to collect a tup – a male sheep – which her employer loaned for breeding. She and the farmer bonded over the setting of a broken sheep leg and were married. Overnight she became mistress of a James Herriot-style farmhouse and 1,000 sheep....

Each day she rises at dawn to care for 1,000 sheep and her seven children, the youngest of whom rides strapped to her body as she strides the wild hills rounding up her flock with her sheepdogs.
posted by kitcat at 8:53 AM on November 13, 2014 [14 favorites]

If you act all series you eventually become all series. Seriesly.
posted by srboisvert at 8:56 AM on November 13, 2014 [4 favorites]

Request list begins here:

1. A hedgehog
2. Naruto
3. A Valkyrie
4. A blackula
5. 4 pairs of mismatched socks
6. Undead (generally)
7. TV On The Radio
8. Neighborhood of Make-Believe Trolley driver
9. Death, the destroyer of worlds
10. human spittoon
11. female body inspection agency analyst
12. Snake DJ
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:03 AM on November 13, 2014 [15 favorites]

Three years spent working for the Sultan of Oman honed his knowledge of seafaring and its hazards. "He wanted a support vessel for the royal yacht squadron," says Sansom.

A royal yacht squadron. Now that is living life to the fullest. I hope they have a whimsical insignia...
posted by Mrs. Rattery at 9:11 AM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

I hope they have a whimsical insignia...

Indeed they do!
It looks to be a sea cucumber chained to crossed snow skis topped by a crown.
posted by Floydd at 9:21 AM on November 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I was thinking more "incredibly fancy but not very useful pocketknife".
posted by poffin boffin at 9:24 AM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mathowie was just added to the Royal Yacht Squadron's attack dolphin's 'list' for hotlinking.
posted by srboisvert at 9:25 AM on November 13, 2014 [3 favorites]

I want to be the first interviewee for "How Do I Become....A Feline Podiatrist" but I must achieve that occupation to begin with.

/leetle peenk toes all my life
posted by Kitteh at 9:27 AM on November 13, 2014 [6 favorites]

This is great:

Sometimes, when Nigel Plaskitt was crouched on the floor with his hand up Roy Hattersley....

..."Arnold Schwarzenegger was a particularly huge puppet and once we noticed that he seemed to be dropping off during a scene. It turned out the actor inside him was passing out."

posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:33 AM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

It looks to be a sea cucumber chained to crossed snow skis topped by a crown.

Nautical jalapeno?

Sword in an impossibly curved scabbard?

This is bugging me now. What IS that?
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:43 AM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's a janbiya.
posted by inire at 9:50 AM on November 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's a janbiya.

Awesome thanks. Can you explain the snow skis too?
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:54 AM on November 13, 2014

is this the logo?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:56 AM on November 13, 2014

Snow skis? Water skis, surely!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:58 AM on November 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I tell a lie - it's a khanjar over two crossed swords, which is the national emblem of Oman.
posted by inire at 10:24 AM on November 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I want to know how one becomes a professional Snuff Taster.
posted by oceanjesse at 5:26 AM on November 14, 2014