BE GARBAGE OF CESSPOOL HA HA HA

November 17, 2014 8:38 PM

Classics Of Game, a series of short-and-surreal context-free game videos, has mysteriously resumed updating after seventeen months. (MLYT)
posted by BiggerJ (19 comments total)

I wasn't sure any of these were real games, but there was Blood Omen and Soul Reaver in there, so.. I guess? This is pretty weird.
posted by curious nu at 8:45 PM on November 17, 2014

Yeah, these are all real. I recognize a few of them (like the cube-headed Saturn boxing game, or Arm Wrestling) and I gotta say, these are bizarrely fantastic.
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:48 PM on November 17, 2014

I got to the purple lizard's victory breakdance and lost it.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 9:10 PM on November 17, 2014 [8 favorites]

#42 is from a DOS game the name of which eludes me at the moment, but it's a game where you're dreaming and have to escape from strange dreamscapes to survive while you're undergoing surgery.

#38 is from Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti, a super-deformed Famicom version of Namco's Splatterhouse series, a game I belive Pope Guilty has mentioned to me that he's played.
posted by JHarris at 12:02 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

#31 is from an Addams Family platformer video game, I think the Genesis version.
posted by JHarris at 12:09 AM on November 18, 2014

#21 is the unreleased Tattoo Assassins, a particularly crapulent Mortal Kombat knockoff.

#18 is Nintendo's Arm Wrestling, an arcade game that's less well-known than its companion Punch-Out because it never got a legendary NES port that became one of the signature games of the console.

I haven't played the NES SD Splatterhouse, but I played the shit out of the arcade Splatterhouse back in the day- that leaderboard was MINE!
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:10 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

NES Punch-Out!!, it should be noted, is only a NES classic in the US, it's far less known in Japan, to the extent that Japanese gamers were confused that Little Mac was included in the new Smash Bros. games. (Wii Punch-Out!!, by the way is amazing, a perfect remake.)

Already I can tell that a lot of these are going to get put into my personal YouTube oddities collections. They're just too insane to leave out.
posted by JHarris at 12:16 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

JHarris: #42 is Weird Dreams. It came with a story that's even weirder.
posted by BiggerJ at 12:29 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I think #27 is Urban Yeti, which I think was mentioned on Hardcore Gaming 101?
posted by JHarris at 12:32 AM on November 18, 2014

#26 is a computer port of Atari's classic arcade racing sim Hard Drivin', the earliest racing sim game of all.

Man, Atari rocked so hard back then.
posted by JHarris at 12:33 AM on November 18, 2014

What exactly went wrong there?
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:39 AM on November 18, 2014

What's #8 from again? It looks like really super obscure. Has anyone played that game, like, ever?
posted by JHarris at 12:46 AM on November 18, 2014

I guess it's time for me to contribute some of my own....

From the Japanese release of Rhythm Heaven (it actually got a US version, but it's not as catchy).

This one's for connoisseurs only: from the darkest corners of MAME, it's the dreaded BLOMBY CAR.
posted by JHarris at 12:57 AM on November 18, 2014

JHarris: The European version of Rhythm Heaven Fever features both the English and Japanese dubs.
posted by BiggerJ at 2:35 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

#26 looks like Hard Drivin', but I can't find a screenshot that matches the non-rectangular dashboard.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:53 AM on November 18, 2014

(also I hate to be a nag, but Winning Run came out a year before Hard Drivin' and had 3D polygon graphics)
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:57 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ah, Weird Dreams.

The game was weird to start with, but after they got the novella (which was originally mostly an anti-piracy thing) they redid the game to include chunks of the ideas. It was sorta a 2001 Kubrick/Clarke thing.

Only without Kubrick. Or Clarke. Or the writer of the novella getting any credit for that.
posted by Devonian at 5:59 AM on November 18, 2014

What is this crap?
posted by Woodroar at 7:15 AM on November 18, 2014

I don't think Winning Run was really a sim the same way Hard Drivin' was, though, which was my claim. The stunt track was the game's attempt to show that off. Although my memory of the game's release seems to be off; I thought it was around 1987 or so, but it turns out to have been 1990, the year after Rampart (the game by which I measure Atari's middle-era history) came out. So, I could be wrong.

Anyway, there are some other stunt driving games from shortly after the time, for PC. My claim that it's Hard Drivin' is based off the loop, the explosion graphic, and a general suspicion, but I could be wrong. In fact, now that I remember it ,you never see the car exploding from inside in Hard Drivin', but instead the car's windshield cracks and you see the explosion in instant replay, so it's probably not that game.
posted by JHarris at 9:48 AM on November 18, 2014