Tonight I ask Congress to ... confirm Judge Anthony Kennedy to the Moon

January 20, 2015 4:47 PM

State of the Union Machine allows you to mix previous State of the Union speeches from Obama's pre-State of the Union tour, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington in differing ratios to make something new, courtesy of the Sunlight Foundation.
posted by filthy light thief (23 comments total)

Anything that this generator comes up with has an equal chance of passing the teabagger Congress as Obama's actual proposals. To the Lame-Duck-o-Tron!
posted by T.D. Strange at 4:57 PM on January 20, 2015

Over the last headache of the cold war when not a way to making college loans more available and more integrated, we must forge a new level, with crimefighting partnerships with local police forces, an innocent slumber party gives way to go see their children and the Bill of Rights.

President WashLinClinBama was so right.
posted by yoink at 5:02 PM on January 20, 2015

"an innocent slumber party gives way" sounds like part of the synopsis to a Cinemax movie.
posted by teponaztli at 5:10 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

"studies show students grow up?"

also:

The sand and stones from the legislation of the West has largely broken down when applied to men of small means to incur the risk of such settlement that it is very much less price than it was by disease among the regiments which are in its essence as democratic and American, the burden and responsibility for the streams in flood and replenishing them in securing a given rank; this age of great productive capacity who becomes a lawbreaker in one part of commerce, and so broad in its history been managed in such matters should be built by the act creating it, and unable to withstand the change of climate and surroundings; and the promotion of rifle clubs thruout all parts of South America, Asia, takes a peculiar interest therein which is required by our own interest, and he should of course applied in a labor case, the superintendents, the sum of one caliber, all of them in the annual interest charge.

ow. my brain. (what the hell, Teddy Roosevelt?)
posted by epersonae at 5:12 PM on January 20, 2015

"an innocent slumber party gives way" sounds like part of the synopsis to a Cinemax movie.

You never want to go full Clinton.
posted by yoink at 5:17 PM on January 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

Offensive operations have therefore been directed, to maintain cordial harmony and a stated price for what they give in payment and receive in exchange. Thank you all.

...I'm not sure, but I think Washington just described what it's like to go out to a restaurant with my extended family.
posted by teponaztli at 5:19 PM on January 20, 2015

Sadly, only mix the text. I knew Lincoln was pushing it but damn I was hoping for a hot party party remix.

On preview: damn Bill was young. Dude ran the biggest racket in the world at only 46.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 5:49 PM on January 20, 2015

Oh, damn...I don't have bingo cards for tonight.
posted by malocchio at 6:12 PM on January 20, 2015

No bingo card=drink.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 6:13 PM on January 20, 2015 [3 favorites]

In the past I've watched on NBC. This year I'm watching it on YouTube's stream. They're doing a weird split screen with stock photos of like soldiers hugging kids, it's strange.
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:15 PM on January 20, 2015

This is an awesome post and I'd be sad if we used it as an opportunity to liveblog.

Wait...the state of the union is squalor?
posted by malocchio at 6:17 PM on January 20, 2015

I'd be surprised if anyone created a State of the Union related post an hour before the actual speech without considering it would become a liveblog of the event.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 6:25 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Tricks of the trade.
posted by clavdivs at 6:26 PM on January 20, 2015

They're doing a weird split screen with stock photos of like soldiers hugging kids, it's strange.

The split screen is mainly charts and figures.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:27 PM on January 20, 2015

I think it's a pretty bold move. I don't necessarily like it, but I think it does a good job capturing the total ADHD nightmare that is the millennial audience
posted by The White Hat at 6:27 PM on January 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

At the very start it was stock photos, then they started to pepper in stuff from photo ops + charts. It's better than I thought it would be at first.
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:29 PM on January 20, 2015

oh snap, minimum wage. well done.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:30 PM on January 20, 2015

Those slides will help the middle/high school kids turn in their history class extra credit assignment tomorrow.
posted by Revort at 6:43 PM on January 20, 2015

OMG he's calling out states like Huey Lewis
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:01 PM on January 20, 2015

It was a good speech overall; now the ball is in Congress' court and if they whiff it it's on them.
posted by Renoroc at 7:13 PM on January 20, 2015

'if'?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:13 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]

America is coming back. The impressions with which I have taken of the other departments of liberal knowledge for the frigates and in further execution of the measures which have for some time as a fund for reimbursing the public stipulations in this instance insufficient to protect from massacre the emissaries of peace. But I understand that.

#frigates2018
posted by Panjandrum at 7:25 PM on January 20, 2015 [4 favorites]

So, D.I.Y. Chris Morris?
posted by Pinback at 9:40 PM on January 20, 2015