Why the [AACK] would anything nice ever happen?!?
February 11, 2015 5:50 AM Subscribe
In the tradition of Nietzsche Family Circus and This Charming Charlie (previously), here's a mash-up of Louis CK's standup comedy with Cathy newspaper comic strips: Cathy CK
This is so much better than the original Cathy.
To be fair, you could swap "AACK" in for EVERY word of the original Cathy and it would be a vast improvement.
posted by nevercalm at 6:21 AM on February 11, 2015 [7 favorites]
To be fair, you could swap "AACK" in for EVERY word of the original Cathy and it would be a vast improvement.
posted by nevercalm at 6:21 AM on February 11, 2015 [7 favorites]
Sticking inappropriate dialogue into comic strips is a truly timeless formula; when I was in high school (25 years ago) someone showed me some Family Circus parodies and told me they were "old."
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:31 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:31 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cathy, like Garfield, was such a terrible strip, full of one-note jokes that all seemed to need a "wah-WAAAH" after them. So I approve of this reuse.
But I might like it better with quotes by famous feminists instead of CK.
posted by emjaybee at 6:44 AM on February 11, 2015 [8 favorites]
But I might like it better with quotes by famous feminists instead of CK.
posted by emjaybee at 6:44 AM on February 11, 2015 [8 favorites]
Maybe try and at least make the text look passable instead of just phoning in some badly scaled comic sans like every other hack out there.
posted by cellphone at 6:57 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by cellphone at 6:57 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is CK *not* a famous feminist?
posted by an animate objects at 7:08 AM on February 11, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by an animate objects at 7:08 AM on February 11, 2015 [9 favorites]
"But I might like it better with quotes by famous feminists"
I think you're looking for Saved By the bell hooks.
posted by komara at 7:22 AM on February 11, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think you're looking for Saved By the bell hooks.
posted by komara at 7:22 AM on February 11, 2015 [3 favorites]
Is CK *not* a famous feminist?
He is a famous person who has said feminist things. And also not-feminist things.
I have seen the Saved by the Bell thing, but I was already in high school when that came out, so it wasn't something I watched.
I did spend many hours trying to figure out why Cathy wasn't funny. Much like reading women's magazines, reading Cathy only made me feel that I was A: fat (and I should be upset about it, even though I could never beat it) and B: not very good at being a girl (because I did not freak out over shopping or shoes).
Cathy was a printed sitcom, with every laugh telegraphed. It was Everyone Loves Raymond in comic strip form, where the only possible satisfying outcome would have been for Cathy to go on a murder-spree.
posted by emjaybee at 7:33 AM on February 11, 2015 [9 favorites]
He is a famous person who has said feminist things. And also not-feminist things.
I have seen the Saved by the Bell thing, but I was already in high school when that came out, so it wasn't something I watched.
I did spend many hours trying to figure out why Cathy wasn't funny. Much like reading women's magazines, reading Cathy only made me feel that I was A: fat (and I should be upset about it, even though I could never beat it) and B: not very good at being a girl (because I did not freak out over shopping or shoes).
Cathy was a printed sitcom, with every laugh telegraphed. It was Everyone Loves Raymond in comic strip form, where the only possible satisfying outcome would have been for Cathy to go on a murder-spree.
posted by emjaybee at 7:33 AM on February 11, 2015 [9 favorites]
Cathy (the original strip) always makes me feel weirdly neurotic when I read it. It's like, "Calm down! Everything's going to be okay! You need to get away from that abusive artist who makes your life a living hell!"
It's kind of like therapy, really.
posted by xingcat at 7:44 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's kind of like therapy, really.
posted by xingcat at 7:44 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cathy-along with the Utz girl and the Bratz dolls, part of an American tradition of female noselessness.
posted by jonmc at 7:47 AM on February 11, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 7:47 AM on February 11, 2015 [2 favorites]
And for fans of Dark Shadows, there's The Collins Family Circus.
More and more.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:50 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
More and more.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:50 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Honestly, with Louis CK's words pasted in, that strip resembles my life an alarming amount.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:10 AM on February 11, 2015
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:10 AM on February 11, 2015
This is making me want to read the text of Cathy inserted into Calvin and Hobbes. Cmon someone do it
posted by Quilford at 8:18 AM on February 11, 2015
posted by Quilford at 8:18 AM on February 11, 2015
I used to be into the over-the-hill-comic-with-contemporary caption thing, but somebody on Twitter recently had me rediscover Heathcliff.
Unlike Marmaduke and Cathy and Family Circus and other comic strips that rely on third-party captions from other sources to create humour either through a harsh contrast or odd synchronicity, there's nothing to be gained by recaptioning Heathcliff.
Heathcliff is insane.
Any contemplation of a Heathcliff comic that lasts more than 0.5 seconds goes immediately from "hey, that's not particularly funny" to "but why is --" to a horrifying, SAN-loss-inducing gaze into the squamous maw of the Elder Gods.
I mean, I just clicked through for today's Heathcliff, and why is there a cat working for the dog catcher and why does he have a net and why are those daschunds roaming in wild packs through a neighbourhood, is this a problem in the Heathcliff word, and why is there a term for this, and why is everyone so blase about a cat coralling a group of what appears to be dozens of feral wiener dogs and what the blistering fuck is happening
Every strip.
Every strip.
All other efforts to redeem "classic" comics that have gone off the trolley are now redundant for me, because George Gately has somehow completed the Jurgen Prochnow/Sam Neill Mouth of Madness journey and come out the other side and is still making comics and nobody is noticing that this 41-year-old single-panel strip is now a sludging gradual incantation that will awake slumbering Cthulhu from his dread home in R'lyeh.
IA! IA! H'ATHCLIFF F'TAGHN!
posted by Shepherd at 8:23 AM on February 11, 2015 [22 favorites]
Unlike Marmaduke and Cathy and Family Circus and other comic strips that rely on third-party captions from other sources to create humour either through a harsh contrast or odd synchronicity, there's nothing to be gained by recaptioning Heathcliff.
Heathcliff is insane.
Any contemplation of a Heathcliff comic that lasts more than 0.5 seconds goes immediately from "hey, that's not particularly funny" to "but why is --" to a horrifying, SAN-loss-inducing gaze into the squamous maw of the Elder Gods.
I mean, I just clicked through for today's Heathcliff, and why is there a cat working for the dog catcher and why does he have a net and why are those daschunds roaming in wild packs through a neighbourhood, is this a problem in the Heathcliff word, and why is there a term for this, and why is everyone so blase about a cat coralling a group of what appears to be dozens of feral wiener dogs and what the blistering fuck is happening
Every strip.
Every strip.
All other efforts to redeem "classic" comics that have gone off the trolley are now redundant for me, because George Gately has somehow completed the Jurgen Prochnow/Sam Neill Mouth of Madness journey and come out the other side and is still making comics and nobody is noticing that this 41-year-old single-panel strip is now a sludging gradual incantation that will awake slumbering Cthulhu from his dread home in R'lyeh.
IA! IA! H'ATHCLIFF F'TAGHN!
posted by Shepherd at 8:23 AM on February 11, 2015 [22 favorites]
You could make a generator for these. Dick Tracy, with Elvis Costello lyrics! Marmaduke, with captions from Spinoza! Baby Blues, with dialog from Ford Madox Ford novels!
posted by thelonius at 8:40 AM on February 11, 2015
posted by thelonius at 8:40 AM on February 11, 2015
Shepherd: IA! IA! H'ATHCLIFF F'TAGHN!You just summoned a tuna on rye, not an Elder God. H'A'THCLIFF is the unspeakable word of doom you were looking for.
It's an understandable, even common, mistake if you learned from a reprint of the Necromonicon - the two words look nearly the same. But as anyone who's opened the real book and listened to the ghastly whisperings as you turn the pages, they aren't nearly homophones.
Anyway, "H'A'THCLIFF".
posted by IAmBroom at 8:42 AM on February 11, 2015 [4 favorites]
You just summoned a tuna on rye, not an Elder God.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:54 AM on February 11, 2015 [7 favorites]
You say that like it's a bad thing.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:54 AM on February 11, 2015 [7 favorites]
> Any contemplation of a Heathcliff comic that lasts more than 0.5 seconds goes immediately from "hey, that's not particularly funny" to "but why is --" to a horrifying, SAN-loss-inducing gaze into the squamous maw of the Elder Gods.
If you haven't already, you need to check out The Comics Curmudgeon
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:54 AM on February 11, 2015 [4 favorites]
If you haven't already, you need to check out The Comics Curmudgeon
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:54 AM on February 11, 2015 [4 favorites]
Cathy was a printed sitcom, with every laugh telegraphed. It was Everyone Loves Raymond in comic strip form, where the only possible satisfying outcome would have been for Cathy to go on a murder-spree.
Or an outbreak of the plague that spared none.
Some of these work very well, though.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:05 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Or an outbreak of the plague that spared none.
Some of these work very well, though.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:05 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is making me want to read the text of Cathy inserted into Calvin and Hobbes. Cmon someone do it
"Ack! It's dark inside this stuffed tiger!"
posted by Gelatin at 9:25 AM on February 11, 2015
"Ack! It's dark inside this stuffed tiger!"
posted by Gelatin at 9:25 AM on February 11, 2015
MetaFilter: You just summoned a tuna on rye, not an Elder God.
posted by Gelatin at 9:26 AM on February 11, 2015
posted by Gelatin at 9:26 AM on February 11, 2015
"Ack! It's dark inside this stuffed tiger!"
"Want to see the ultrasound on my iPhone?"
SEE, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE OMG MODERN TECHNOLOGY ISN'T IT CRAZY?
Sorry for the outburst. I, uh...I just have a kind of visceral reaction to how unfunny Cathy is, was and always will be.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:55 AM on February 11, 2015
"Want to see the ultrasound on my iPhone?"
SEE, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE OMG MODERN TECHNOLOGY ISN'T IT CRAZY?
Sorry for the outburst. I, uh...I just have a kind of visceral reaction to how unfunny Cathy is, was and always will be.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:55 AM on February 11, 2015
IA! IA! H'ATHCLIFF F'TAGHN!
You just summoned a tuna on rye, not an Elder God.
Sorry, you're both wrong -- that's just summoned a brooding, Byronic antihero who loves long walks on the moors and women named Catherine.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:24 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
You just summoned a tuna on rye, not an Elder God.
Sorry, you're both wrong -- that's just summoned a brooding, Byronic antihero who loves long walks on the moors and women named Catherine.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:24 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
CATHY/CATHERINE. IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE!!!!
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:25 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:25 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
and why is everyone so blase about a cat coralling a group of what appears to be dozens of feral wiener dogs and what the blistering fuck is happening
IDK, for me the most whaaaaaa?!?!? part of that page with today's Heathcliff on it is that someone out there in the world decided not only to read said Heathcliff but that it was really important to comment "get along little doggies" in response. Then again I have always had a fascination with what makes people think things and then decide to post them on the internet.
posted by misskaz at 10:37 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
IDK, for me the most whaaaaaa?!?!? part of that page with today's Heathcliff on it is that someone out there in the world decided not only to read said Heathcliff but that it was really important to comment "get along little doggies" in response. Then again I have always had a fascination with what makes people think things and then decide to post them on the internet.
posted by misskaz at 10:37 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
They're quoting an old joke about dachshunds: "APpt shop got in a huge shipment of dachshunds so they put up a sign 'Get a Long Little Doggie!'".
posted by benito.strauss at 11:01 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by benito.strauss at 11:01 AM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
The 100% vs 40% Cathy CK comic was a little more complicated to understand and so I forgot what I was reading and thought it was just a straight-ahead Cathy cartoon. So when I finally did parse it I had a brief flash of "Dang, Cathy, you've gotten dark!".
posted by benito.strauss at 11:05 AM on February 11, 2015
posted by benito.strauss at 11:05 AM on February 11, 2015
He is a famous person who has said feminist things. And also not-feminist things.
Like many famous feminists.
posted by vitabellosi at 11:11 AM on February 11, 2015 [3 favorites]
Like many famous feminists.
posted by vitabellosi at 11:11 AM on February 11, 2015 [3 favorites]
These people understand Cathy's Ack like no one else on earth.
posted by zippy at 1:52 PM on February 11, 2015
posted by zippy at 1:52 PM on February 11, 2015
Let us not fail to quote Zippy the Pinhead creator Bill Griffith, who has said, of Guisewite's drawing style, "It looks like she drops string on the floor and xeroxes it."
Cathy is just the fucking worst comic ever ever ever. This "remix" improves it some, but it's still so hatefully awful to look at that even pretty-good satire cannot fully soothe the pain.
posted by Dr. Wu at 3:44 PM on February 11, 2015 [3 favorites]
Cathy is just the fucking worst comic ever ever ever. This "remix" improves it some, but it's still so hatefully awful to look at that even pretty-good satire cannot fully soothe the pain.
posted by Dr. Wu at 3:44 PM on February 11, 2015 [3 favorites]
Thank you, Shepherd, for reminding me of Heathcliff! I've always thought that either there's something deep at work there, or no -- it's just as ridiculously great in the first few seconds as it ever will be. Such as Muskox on Vocals.
Also, it looks like Heathcliff is being written by George Gately's nephew Peter Gallagher these days.
posted by klausman at 4:43 PM on February 11, 2015
Also, it looks like Heathcliff is being written by George Gately's nephew Peter Gallagher these days.
posted by klausman at 4:43 PM on February 11, 2015
IA! IA! H'ATHCLIFF F'TAGHN!
Careful, lest ye summon the Garbage Ape.
posted by tocts at 6:24 PM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Careful, lest ye summon the Garbage Ape.
posted by tocts at 6:24 PM on February 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wow, you're not kidding about Heathcliff. What? what? what? What on earth? Okay...
I have to stop now, I'm starting to enjoy the absurdity and will soon buy a Heathcliff T-shirt. Or possibly my brain is shrinking.
(speaking of Aack!, this one at least made me smile)
posted by mmoncur at 9:06 PM on February 11, 2015
I have to stop now, I'm starting to enjoy the absurdity and will soon buy a Heathcliff T-shirt. Or possibly my brain is shrinking.
(speaking of Aack!, this one at least made me smile)
posted by mmoncur at 9:06 PM on February 11, 2015
Dick Tracy, with Elvis Costello lyrics!
Actually, it's not a bad idea. It could have a certain po-mo punk-noir poetry to it.
She is watching the detectives
"Ooh, he's so cute"
She is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart
posted by Ursula Hitler at 1:04 AM on February 12, 2015
Actually, it's not a bad idea. It could have a certain po-mo punk-noir poetry to it.
She is watching the detectives
"Ooh, he's so cute"
She is watching the detectives
When they shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot
They beat him up until the teardrops start
But he can't be wounded 'cause he's got no heart
posted by Ursula Hitler at 1:04 AM on February 12, 2015
The "HAM" helmet that Heathcliff is wearing in one of mmoncur's links is sort of a running gag in the current incarnation of the strip (which I think is actually pretty enjoyably weird and surreal, and intentionally so).
posted by Wolfdog at 3:53 AM on February 12, 2015
posted by Wolfdog at 3:53 AM on February 12, 2015
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