Heeeeey oh hey!
April 15, 2015 5:47 AM Subscribe
What's that you say? You want a 20 year old video of a nearly nude Jason Statham dancing on a rock pyramid in a music video embodying the worst excesses of the early 90s British Dance Scene? Of course you do! (Hat tip Mathowie, Possibly NSFW due to oiled speedo gyrations)
Wow.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:09 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:09 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
He also danced in metallic body paint for Erasure which was apparently the inspiration for Drax's look in GoTG
posted by The Whelk at 6:10 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 6:10 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
It's obvious but might as well add one of the best scenes in movie history in there - Jason Statham oils up for a fight in The Transporter - you know, just in case someone hasn't seen it.
posted by barchan at 6:13 AM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by barchan at 6:13 AM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]
no, i definitely never said that.
posted by poffin boffin at 6:20 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 6:20 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Wait - didn't I already know this about Statham?
Then why had I not seen this before?
Oh yeah, I was thinking of the video he made in the alltogether for that other dance group in the 90s I was super into." -
My last 45 seconds.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:20 AM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
Then why had I not seen this before?
Oh yeah, I was thinking of the video he made in the alltogether for that other dance group in the 90s I was super into." -
My last 45 seconds.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:20 AM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
MetaFilter: NSFW due to oiled speedo gyrations
Best of the Web!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:27 AM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]
Best of the Web!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:27 AM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]
i
think
some of those people may be on
drugs
posted by Sebmojo at 6:29 AM on April 15, 2015 [14 favorites]
think
some of those people may be on
drugs
posted by Sebmojo at 6:29 AM on April 15, 2015 [14 favorites]
I'd be extremely interested in how they created this video.
The first video I thought when I saw this was Ace of Bass, The Sign (which so fails at everything when you compare the two), or even Edwyn Collins, A Girl Like You.
AoB has much better video production, but both just look like... Video Toastering going on, especially Collins, which is using ever single Toaster trope there is (love, love, love the song - it's a classic). I can almost smell the stale air in the art school computer lab.
But this one - man, I dunno! There's a lot going on, lot of masking on green screens... what was the render time for something like this? I used to live with a video dude of the Burning Man persuasion - the rigs he had for his cheesy live video shows were pretty interesting, but still would take forever to make something like this, 10 years ago.
posted by alex_skazat at 6:36 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
The first video I thought when I saw this was Ace of Bass, The Sign (which so fails at everything when you compare the two), or even Edwyn Collins, A Girl Like You.
AoB has much better video production, but both just look like... Video Toastering going on, especially Collins, which is using ever single Toaster trope there is (love, love, love the song - it's a classic). I can almost smell the stale air in the art school computer lab.
But this one - man, I dunno! There's a lot going on, lot of masking on green screens... what was the render time for something like this? I used to live with a video dude of the Burning Man persuasion - the rigs he had for his cheesy live video shows were pretty interesting, but still would take forever to make something like this, 10 years ago.
posted by alex_skazat at 6:36 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
My favorite aspect of Statham's acting is how he is willing to take on the most ridiculous, undignified roles and scenes, and appear in them with apparent good humor.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:38 AM on April 15, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Dip Flash at 6:38 AM on April 15, 2015 [12 favorites]
Happy Hump Day!
posted by jillithd at 6:44 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jillithd at 6:44 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
That vibe definitely is laced with consciousness.
posted by allthinky at 6:45 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by allthinky at 6:45 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Looks like a long time ago. Reminded me of Techno Viking.
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:47 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:47 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Thank you, alex_skazat, for connecting Jason Statham to the Amiga. You made my day.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:48 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:48 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'd be extremely interested in how they created this video.
it sprang fully formed from his lubricated loins
posted by poffin boffin at 7:00 AM on April 15, 2015 [8 favorites]
lubricated loins
lubricated loins
well, there's my day's productivity tanked already
posted by palomar at 7:06 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
lubricated loins
well, there's my day's productivity tanked already
posted by palomar at 7:06 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Right up until the cave person arrived in hell, Jason was the only one who seemed able to lift his feet off of the ground.
posted by waterisfinite at 7:07 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by waterisfinite at 7:07 AM on April 15, 2015
This vid also puts the KLF in a much more interesting perspective. They have been raised in my mind from, "kinda interesting" to "geniuses".
posted by alex_skazat at 7:12 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by alex_skazat at 7:12 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
First, don't offer us speedo-ed Jason Statham with his fucking body shaved. Jesus.
Second, don't offer us "HD" when all it is is stretched SD. We aren't all 80 years old and we know the difference.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 7:47 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Second, don't offer us "HD" when all it is is stretched SD. We aren't all 80 years old and we know the difference.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 7:47 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Caught this on reddit over the weekend. That video represents a pop culture element from my youth that I never wanted to be reminded of.
I'm sure there are certain artifacts from every generation that people look back on years later and cringe a little. Maybe for my parents' generation, it was some of the more over-the-top hippie stuff. For their parents, maybe some of the sillier beat stuff. But my god, the 90s. We really unleashed some horrible shit on the world, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YEEEEAH
posted by Hoopo at 7:48 AM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm sure there are certain artifacts from every generation that people look back on years later and cringe a little. Maybe for my parents' generation, it was some of the more over-the-top hippie stuff. For their parents, maybe some of the sillier beat stuff. But my god, the 90s. We really unleashed some horrible shit on the world, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YEEEEAH
posted by Hoopo at 7:48 AM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
Every single aesthetic choice made in this video is bad and wrong.
posted by Squeak Attack at 7:51 AM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Squeak Attack at 7:51 AM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]
Hey, The Shamen's En-Tact album is totally awesome. Then, this happened.
posted by kuanes at 7:54 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kuanes at 7:54 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
The rapper sounds like Old Gregg.
posted by BurntHombre at 7:56 AM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by BurntHombre at 7:56 AM on April 15, 2015 [9 favorites]
The heartbreaking tragedy of a beautiful career derailed by violence.
posted by srboisvert at 8:04 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 8:04 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Way to bury the lede, Whelk-dude.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:04 AM on April 15, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:04 AM on April 15, 2015 [10 favorites]
I saw this in .gif form the other day. My therapist assures me that with enough medication I can make a full recovery.
posted by tommasz at 8:16 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 8:16 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
I don't care, I still like the Shamen.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:16 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by MartinWisse at 8:16 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Myself, I miss Ebenezer Goode.
posted by aramaic at 8:32 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by aramaic at 8:32 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Looks like I've got my pick for "Bad Video round" at my next music party get-together.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:48 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:48 AM on April 15, 2015
I'm getting the feeling that some of you don't really appreciate "Art."
And by art, I mean the kind of video artistry that you can get 55 year old Ted Cruz/Rick Perry types to watch merely by saying, "Hey, wanna see a cool video that has Jason Statham in it?"
The guy's just absolutely transcendent. That's not oil on those shoulders - that sheen is from angels' tears.
posted by barchan at 8:55 AM on April 15, 2015 [15 favorites]
And by art, I mean the kind of video artistry that you can get 55 year old Ted Cruz/Rick Perry types to watch merely by saying, "Hey, wanna see a cool video that has Jason Statham in it?"
The guy's just absolutely transcendent. That's not oil on those shoulders - that sheen is from angels' tears.
posted by barchan at 8:55 AM on April 15, 2015 [15 favorites]
I don't know what it is but something about this video has sent me into a giggling fit that won't stop.
Yep there they are again, just thinking about it...
Glad I have my own office right now.
posted by Jalliah at 9:00 AM on April 15, 2015
Yep there they are again, just thinking about it...
Glad I have my own office right now.
posted by Jalliah at 9:00 AM on April 15, 2015
I cannot unsee that.
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 9:02 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 9:02 AM on April 15, 2015
Despite coming between Ebenezer Goode and Forever People, I don't remember this song at all. I watched The Chart Show every Saturday morning an everything.
posted by Thing at 9:03 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Thing at 9:03 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I cannot unsee that.
Why would you want to? He's nearly naked, dancing in a field of red psychedelic toadstools.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:17 AM on April 15, 2015
Why would you want to? He's nearly naked, dancing in a field of red psychedelic toadstools.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:17 AM on April 15, 2015
The guy's just absolutely transcendent.
Oh it's not Statham I object to about this whole mess. Mostly the dude with the stripey outfit, long hair, and sunglasses doing his geriatric aerobic routine, and that "rapper" guy. I never realized before that the purpose of those pacifiers the rave kids used to wear was actually to make them shut up.
posted by Hoopo at 9:19 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh it's not Statham I object to about this whole mess. Mostly the dude with the stripey outfit, long hair, and sunglasses doing his geriatric aerobic routine, and that "rapper" guy. I never realized before that the purpose of those pacifiers the rave kids used to wear was actually to make them shut up.
posted by Hoopo at 9:19 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
In conclusion British is a land of many contrast
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:43 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:43 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Statham is on one of the late show clips on Taxi Tv right now.
It must be fate.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on April 15, 2015
It must be fate.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on April 15, 2015
Every single aesthetic choice...is bad and wrong
They said that about all the classics
posted by glasseyes at 9:49 AM on April 15, 2015
Mock 1993 all you want, but I miss being able to sell pretty much anything by putting the letter 'e' on it.
posted by not the fingers, not the fingers at 10:14 AM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by not the fingers, not the fingers at 10:14 AM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
Oiled Speedo Gyrations is definitely the name of my next band (or the first single from that band. I'm not sure yet).
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 10:26 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 10:26 AM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Steve Jobs' claimed to be a pioneer but all he did was shift society from sticking an 'e' on stuff to an 'i'. The Shamen were the true revolutionaries. Probably.
posted by biffa at 10:30 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by biffa at 10:30 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
It would be very nice if someone could post a link to that other 90's music video where the Stathe is gyrating slowly on top of a pyramid, in his trunks.
posted by glasseyes at 10:34 AM on April 15, 2015
posted by glasseyes at 10:34 AM on April 15, 2015
I can't decide if I want to watch this, or if I want to just live with the potentiality of it out there for some day in the future.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:47 AM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Lyn Never at 10:47 AM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]
So I have this thing in my head where I sometimes think that Jason Statham isn't real; he's just this amalgamation of things-hot-to-me energy.
This previously unknown-to-me backstory for him (competetive-diver-turned-dude-who-is-near-naked-in-90s-videos-turned-gruffy-action-star) is doing nothing to dissuade me of this theory.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:55 AM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]
This previously unknown-to-me backstory for him (competetive-diver-turned-dude-who-is-near-naked-in-90s-videos-turned-gruffy-action-star) is doing nothing to dissuade me of this theory.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:55 AM on April 15, 2015 [6 favorites]
Said cameo very much included in my celebrity music video compendium.
As long as we're sharing music videos featuring our favorite actors from Furious 7, here's Kwamé's 'Nastee' from 1992, which gives us a rare glimpse of a young, be-haired Vin Diesel. (see 2:11 on. Spoiler: he gets kicked in the nuts by an old-school rapper)
posted by dgaicun at 11:12 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
As long as we're sharing music videos featuring our favorite actors from Furious 7, here's Kwamé's 'Nastee' from 1992, which gives us a rare glimpse of a young, be-haired Vin Diesel. (see 2:11 on. Spoiler: he gets kicked in the nuts by an old-school rapper)
posted by dgaicun at 11:12 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mock 1993 all you want, but I miss being able to sell pretty much anything by putting the letter 'e' on it.
...sooo, you're saying the effin' e's were good?
(sorry. that song still makes me chuckle)
posted by aramaic at 11:30 AM on April 15, 2015
...sooo, you're saying the effin' e's were good?
(sorry. that song still makes me chuckle)
posted by aramaic at 11:30 AM on April 15, 2015
Speaking of E, this probably sounded boss on it. I offer no other excuses for our musical excess in the 90s.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:46 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:46 AM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
That was magical. MAGICAL I SAY!
posted by Faintdreams at 3:03 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Faintdreams at 3:03 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
That was awesome in hitherto-undreamed ways of awesomeness.
My sister and I have a theory about how the oiled wrestling scene in The Transporter was pitched to Statham, it goes something like this: "So in this scene, you'll be half naked and rolling around in oil, because...obviously".
I'll be in my bunk....
posted by biscotti at 3:23 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
My sister and I have a theory about how the oiled wrestling scene in The Transporter was pitched to Statham, it goes something like this: "So in this scene, you'll be half naked and rolling around in oil, because...obviously".
I'll be in my bunk....
posted by biscotti at 3:23 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
DALEK EMPEROR: "This is the Abomination!"
posted by The Zeroth Law at 3:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Zeroth Law at 3:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
And I thought post Will Sin the Shamen had no sense of humour!
I don't think I have ever heard that song before. At one time I thought the Shamen releasing 14 remixes of Pro>gen was something I should get the triple vinyl of. In retrospect that may have been the tipping point for me. Although it did include all the constuent parts of the track so that anyone could make their own remix, which was a nice concept.
I am not convinced there could be a suitable dose to move this into the boss zone.
What a thing it is to behold, though!
posted by asok at 4:35 PM on April 15, 2015
I don't think I have ever heard that song before. At one time I thought the Shamen releasing 14 remixes of Pro>gen was something I should get the triple vinyl of. In retrospect that may have been the tipping point for me. Although it did include all the constuent parts of the track so that anyone could make their own remix, which was a nice concept.
I am not convinced there could be a suitable dose to move this into the boss zone.
What a thing it is to behold, though!
posted by asok at 4:35 PM on April 15, 2015
Whoa, I'd forgotten how f-ed up those Teletubbies afterparties were.
posted by mon-ma-tron at 8:33 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by mon-ma-tron at 8:33 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
Exactly how much did I have to drink tonight?
posted by susiswimmer at 10:58 PM on April 15, 2015
posted by susiswimmer at 10:58 PM on April 15, 2015
Something for everyone here, yeah.
my good lord
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 11:22 PM on April 15, 2015
my good lord
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 11:22 PM on April 15, 2015
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