Pregnant and searching for a great place to give birth?

July 2, 2015 5:47 AM

Hello Kitty Maternity Ward I've read that looking at cute cats have calming effects. I bet being surrounded by Hello Kitty could help you push your way through an easier labor!
posted by Yellow (21 comments total)

truly, the world is a place that is full of things
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:51 AM on July 2, 2015 [10 favorites]

If I was born surrounded by Hello Kitty paraphernalia I'd be demanding to be pushed back in, stat.
posted by billiebee at 6:04 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Yeah, way to ensure that the first thing a newborn child sees is the pale, mouthless, unblinking face of some inhuman goblin leering at it from every surface.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 6:13 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Okay, so here's a thing that has always bothered me about Hello Kitty. Canonically, she weighs as much as three apples but is five apples tall. Given the existence of things like the square/cube law, wouldn't this suggest that Hello Kitty's density is somewhere in the vicinity of "shopping bag caught in a breeze"?
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:16 AM on July 2, 2015 [6 favorites]

DoctorFedora: 2.5 apples tall under all the fur, .5 apples worth of light fluffy fur doubling the size. She's a kitty after all.
posted by idiopath at 6:18 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Hello Kitty is actually a little girl.
posted by drezdn at 6:20 AM on July 2, 2015

Well actually, Hello Kitty is the name of the doctor, and technically she is known as Hello Kitty's Monster.
posted by idiopath at 6:32 AM on July 2, 2015 [31 favorites]

this conspiracy goes all the way to the top
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:33 AM on July 2, 2015

[Hello Kitty] does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.

Huh.
posted by tickingclock at 6:49 AM on July 2, 2015

If I was born surrounded by Hello Kitty paraphernalia I'd be demanding to be pushed back in, stat.

Imagine if it were Garfield paraphernalia...
posted by Thorzdad at 6:49 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

I really hope that there's some delightfully perky Hello Kitty song being played on a constant loop. That would make giving birth so much more relaxing!! If there isn't such a song, I'd suggest writing one using "It's a Small World" as inspiration! HELLO KITTY LALALA KITTY FRIENDSHIP LALALA.
posted by artychoke at 6:51 AM on July 2, 2015 [5 favorites]

My life would be so much better if I had been born there.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:52 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Every child deserves a chance to come into this world the way I did -- surrounded by angry cultists frustrated that I am, in fact, not the Dark Lord Baphomet they were attempting to summon.
posted by delfin at 7:04 AM on July 2, 2015 [14 favorites]

And when are we going to get our Hello Kitty urology clinic?
posted by lagomorphius at 7:07 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

AWESOME!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:37 AM on July 2, 2015 [3 favorites]

Surely they could save on all the painting and decor by just giving patients the really good drugs and letting the licensed characters appear naturally.
posted by Hypatia at 8:12 AM on July 2, 2015 [7 favorites]

When I saw that there is a Hello Kitty airline, I figured there must be a Hello Kitty everything, so this doesn't surprise me.
posted by eye of newt at 9:08 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]

Every child deserves a chance to come into this world the way I did -- surrounded by angry cultists frustrated that I am, in fact, not the Dark Lord Baphomet they were attempting to summon.

You know, it's not such a great experience even when you are the anticipated anti-messiah. That's a lot of pressure for a child.

Um, or so I've heard... from a guy I met on a bus.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:12 AM on July 2, 2015 [4 favorites]

And here I was picturing a glass wall with kittens on the other side, like at Petsmart.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:29 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

I find my little green plushie Cthulhu induces a sense of calm also. YMMV.
posted by jfuller at 6:47 AM on July 3, 2015

I can't check Hello Kitty Hell right now to see if they've been informed, but if they haven't, that may be for the best. This would probably be the one to finally push his blood pressure up to the multiple bursting aneurysm zone.
posted by radwolf76 at 9:47 AM on July 3, 2015