Un-beeeee-LIEVABLE!

September 5, 2015 10:51 PM

In 1986, ABC executive SQuire (sic) Rushnell attempted to begin a Christian franchise on par with the Care Bears with a live-action/animated special: Kingdom Chums: Little David's Adventure (multi-video version) (also adapted as a book). Only one of several attempts to continue the series came to fruition: the initially direct-to-video Kingdom Chums: Original Top Ten (multi-video version).
posted by BiggerJ (10 comments total)

a Christian franchise on par with the Care Bears with a live-action/animated special: The Daily Show,

It's Captain Kangeroo meets The Kids of Degrassi Street meets Care Bears.

Watching this may require alcohol.

On the plus side, googling "SQuire Rushnell sex crime" shows... nothing.
posted by Mezentian at 3:38 AM on September 6, 2015 [1 favorite]

Hire decent voice actors for our eighties cartoon? That's scientifically impossible!
posted by Wolfdog at 4:01 AM on September 6, 2015 [1 favorite]

Frank Welker frowns on you, Wolfdog.
posted by Mezentian at 4:07 AM on September 6, 2015 [3 favorites]

Way to bury the lede. Jenna von Oÿ! TV’s Six from Blossom!
posted by mrbeefy at 4:14 AM on September 6, 2015

Mezentian: When I googled that without quotes, this page was the second result. The blurb for the first was "The Offense of the Ten Commandments · Sexual Sin ... Author SQuire Rushnell discusses his latest book, 'Divine Alignment,' and explains how to navigate life's ..." The bolded parts are in the names of video series from Pat Robertson.
posted by BiggerJ at 6:15 AM on September 6, 2015

Jenna von Oÿ! TV’s Six from Blossom!

I knew I knew the name. As someone who never watched that show.
posted by Mezentian at 7:06 AM on September 6, 2015

UN-BEE-LIEVABLE!
posted by Krazor at 9:43 AM on September 6, 2015

Oh wow. I am certain the impulse behind this was the evangelical belief that Smurfs, Care Bears and other popular toy lines of the '80s were an attempt of New Agers and/or Satanists to turn children away from Christ. I bought a couple of Phil Phillips books on this subject (used, of course, for a penny) and they're quite a read. Half of the book will be reasonable concerns and then-current studies about TV and toys as encouraging aggressive or unimaginative play, and half will be "'Through toys like the one you have in the backseat of your car, Satan is gaining control of the minds of millions of children everywhere.'"

A bunch of sad kids no doubt had to stick with this and many other lame Christian versions of nifty things their friends had.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:35 AM on September 6, 2015

"Kingdom Chums" is really weird to say. Especially through the haze of the cold I have right now.

Kingdom Chums.

Kingdom Chums.

Kingdom Chums.

Thy Kingdom Chums. Thy will be done.

It's Captain Kangeroo meets The Kids of Degrassi Street meets Care Bears.

Except with way more anti-Semitism than I remember those shows having.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:54 AM on September 6, 2015

No Christian Cartoon will ever out-do the (still ongoing series) Veggie Tales. So anti-science that its two lead 'veggies' are a tomato and a cucumber... technically FRUIT.

But...
Hire decent voice actors for our eighties cartoon? That's scientifically impossible!
If you look a little further down the IMDB cast list after the lead 'kids', you'll find:
Paul Winchell, the original Tigger, Dick Dastardly in Wacky Races and semi-abusive father to the awesome April Winchell,
Jim Cummings, who replaced Winchell as Tigger after first replacing Sterling Holloway as Pooh, also replacing Mel Blanc as the Tasmanian Devil and originating DARKWING FREAKING DUCK,
Phil Proctor of FIRESIGN THEATER fame ("don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers!"),
and Townsend Coleman, voice of the animated (BEST version of )THE TICK. THE TICK! SPOOON!!!
A fine (and not-very-Christian) cast.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:50 PM on September 6, 2015 [6 favorites]