It doesn't matter
June 21, 2016 6:43 AM Subscribe
shit, this is really good. the ending's a really great version of the quiet, better-but-scarred coda that a lot of short stories in this vein try to pull off.
for whatever reason (I like to nerd off about tiny things in literature) I was particularly struck by the dropped punctuation that ends the parallel "I hated him"/"I loved him" paragraphs. it makes both of those paragraphs quietly unbearable -- like it suggests an endless sequence of thoughts along those lines and also exclamation points and capital letters and cursing, but also the way those sorts of thoughts just unfold into themselves and build until they are abruptly, temporarily over, echoing the waves metaphor that precedes them.
anyway. great stuff. thanks for sharing!
posted by Kybard at 7:56 AM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
for whatever reason (I like to nerd off about tiny things in literature) I was particularly struck by the dropped punctuation that ends the parallel "I hated him"/"I loved him" paragraphs. it makes both of those paragraphs quietly unbearable -- like it suggests an endless sequence of thoughts along those lines and also exclamation points and capital letters and cursing, but also the way those sorts of thoughts just unfold into themselves and build until they are abruptly, temporarily over, echoing the waves metaphor that precedes them.
anyway. great stuff. thanks for sharing!
posted by Kybard at 7:56 AM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
priya_ebooks is absolutely amazing and i love that she's getting shine for this.
posted by nadawi at 8:10 AM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 8:10 AM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Excellent read, thanks. This could be a companion song.
posted by Panthalassa at 8:38 AM on June 21, 2016
posted by Panthalassa at 8:38 AM on June 21, 2016
Yep if you like this then make sure to follow priya on twitter, she's absolutely fantastic at it.
posted by ominous_paws at 12:38 PM on June 21, 2016
posted by ominous_paws at 12:38 PM on June 21, 2016
I am literally sobbing my eyes out right now. I could have written this. I don't mean I could have written this, this is amazing, but this just synced up with my just-ended relationship it's got me in all kinds of pain.
posted by gucci mane at 3:07 PM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by gucci mane at 3:07 PM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
:( sorry Gucci Mane :(
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:08 PM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:08 PM on June 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh my dog. Ow. Right in the feels.
She doesn't even mention her name, and I just want her to be happy so much.
I mean, also, she's fictional. But still.
That's some damn good writing.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:52 PM on June 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
She doesn't even mention her name, and I just want her to be happy so much.
I mean, also, she's fictional. But still.
That's some damn good writing.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:52 PM on June 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh god, no. No, no, no. It's too soon for me to be finding this. Especially this part:
"You wonder if that was what it was, all along. That you had remembered your time with him wrong. Remembered the wrong man, just like he remembered meeting the wrong girl. Was it ever really like you imagined? What was it like?"
I'm not in the future yet. I haven't made it to that dark, solitary beach. I'm gasping, half-blinded by salt, somewhere out in the tangle of the surf, where heavy waves criss-cross each other, cresting and crashing in a pattern that, when seen from above, makes no sense, absolutely no sense at all.
posted by informavore at 1:59 PM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
"You wonder if that was what it was, all along. That you had remembered your time with him wrong. Remembered the wrong man, just like he remembered meeting the wrong girl. Was it ever really like you imagined? What was it like?"
I'm not in the future yet. I haven't made it to that dark, solitary beach. I'm gasping, half-blinded by salt, somewhere out in the tangle of the surf, where heavy waves criss-cross each other, cresting and crashing in a pattern that, when seen from above, makes no sense, absolutely no sense at all.
posted by informavore at 1:59 PM on June 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by kimberussell at 7:46 AM on June 21, 2016