The only true form of eating
June 25, 2016 5:26 AM Subscribe
German YouTuber Eating with Two Hands insists: "I am of the opinion that eating is only true when done with the motions of our two hands. The invention of cutlery, namely fork and knife, was highly unnecessary." See it in practice: Tasty Fruit Salad (with Goldsaft), Instant Breakfast Cereal and Cheese and Grapes. Tasty!
The 4th Earl of Sandwich agrees.
posted by clawsoon at 5:37 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by clawsoon at 5:37 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
German YouTuber Eating with Two Hands Entwicklungs Verzögerte bei Kleinkind Bühne.
There, fixed that for him.
posted by HuronBob at 5:45 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
There, fixed that for him.
posted by HuronBob at 5:45 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
From the "tasty" text overlay I'm assuming this is a parody. Otherwise I'd have to get all grumpy because my food typically contains enough Scoville Heat Units that eating only with hands would... make for unpleasant occurrences.
posted by iffthen at 5:48 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by iffthen at 5:48 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
BUT HOW DID YOU CUT THE APPLE
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:01 AM on June 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:01 AM on June 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
Our household has a version of this where almost everything is eaten exclusively with spoons, but... I mean, I really do like having the spoons at least. Fantastisch!
posted by obfuscation at 6:02 AM on June 25, 2016
posted by obfuscation at 6:02 AM on June 25, 2016
Sugar ... mmm sweet. Now coffee ... wow bitter. Boiling water ... MILK MILK NOW!
posted by adept256 at 6:08 AM on June 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by adept256 at 6:08 AM on June 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
BUT HOW DID YOU CUT THE APPLE
Shopping the pre-diced fruits and vegetables section at Händler Josef's is really the only way this is possible.
Funny right up until the ASMR-close chewing noises got in my ear. *shudder*
posted by carsonb at 6:43 AM on June 25, 2016
Shopping the pre-diced fruits and vegetables section at Händler Josef's is really the only way this is possible.
Funny right up until the ASMR-close chewing noises got in my ear. *shudder*
posted by carsonb at 6:43 AM on June 25, 2016
I would have typed an answer an hour ago but I was up to my elbows in our chicken stock.
posted by Namlit at 6:49 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Namlit at 6:49 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
eating is only true when done with the motions of our two hands
The generous percentage of the world's population that wipes their ass with their left hand would like to have a word.
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:57 AM on June 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
The generous percentage of the world's population that wipes their ass with their left hand would like to have a word.
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:57 AM on June 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
Our household has a version of this where almost everything is eaten exclusively with spoons, but... I mean, I really do like having the spoons at least. Fantastisch!
During periods where I am working long hours or there is just a lot of Life Stuff happening, I'll notice that the silverware in the dishwasher is entirely spoons because we are eating entirely leftovers and cereal, and I'll know it is time to pay a bit more attention to the food situation.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:39 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
During periods where I am working long hours or there is just a lot of Life Stuff happening, I'll notice that the silverware in the dishwasher is entirely spoons because we are eating entirely leftovers and cereal, and I'll know it is time to pay a bit more attention to the food situation.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:39 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
BUT HOW DID YOU CUT THE APPLE
When you do not mind how to cut the apple, you can cut the apple with your mind.
posted by otherchaz at 7:51 AM on June 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
When you do not mind how to cut the apple, you can cut the apple with your mind.
posted by otherchaz at 7:51 AM on June 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
Years ago I waited tables at an Olive Garden, and I still remember checking on one of my tables before their entrees came out. They wanted a refill on their salad bowl; the salad was so good! They ate it all up! --and also some silverware, please, as they'd been seated at a table that didn't have any.
posted by little_dog_laughing at 8:15 AM on June 25, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by little_dog_laughing at 8:15 AM on June 25, 2016 [11 favorites]
I can recall a specific dinner from my childhood, inviting a friend to have dinner at my home, a friend raised in Texas who had not had a lot of experience eating different non-American foods. We were serving a fairly common Indian meal at our home: dahl (lentil soup), roti (round flat bread), & subzi (sauteed potato/mixed vegetables). The spoon was the only utensil present at the table and he looked very confused for a few minutes. That is until he saw me just tear my roti into smaller pieces and dip that roti into the dahl. He caught on very quickly, but he seemed genuinely amazed that this was how our family ate our meals.
This was back in the mid 1980s. As an Indian boy who grew up in Texas, my own personal experience is that, there was not a lot of diversity and cultural exposure to ethnic foods during that time. I think quite a bit has changed. People in general are a bit more exposed to different kinds of foods and eating. The world has become more interconnected and more accepting of different food cultures and cuisine.
posted by Fizz at 8:25 AM on June 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
This was back in the mid 1980s. As an Indian boy who grew up in Texas, my own personal experience is that, there was not a lot of diversity and cultural exposure to ethnic foods during that time. I think quite a bit has changed. People in general are a bit more exposed to different kinds of foods and eating. The world has become more interconnected and more accepting of different food cultures and cuisine.
posted by Fizz at 8:25 AM on June 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
Milk should not be drunk from a glass, it should be drunk directly from a cow teat, you know, like monkeys do.
posted by tempestuoso at 8:35 AM on June 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by tempestuoso at 8:35 AM on June 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
Who needs hands? Just use your mouth!
posted by oceanjesse at 9:10 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 9:10 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
not nearly as messy as I'd hoped it would be.
It is precise German eating, certainly.
posted by aubilenon at 9:43 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
It is precise German eating, certainly.
posted by aubilenon at 9:43 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Both hands? But how will I hold my phone?
posted by fungible at 9:49 AM on June 25, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by fungible at 9:49 AM on June 25, 2016 [7 favorites]
not nearly as messy as I'd hoped it would be.
Well, in terms of ingredients, that dude is a wimp. Too much comfort zone. I would like to see him eat a good spicy Indonesian Ajam boemboe roedjak with a crumbly heap of rice and some extra atjars and other acessoires on the side. Messy, lots of sauce and bits, and blisteringly spicy (if done right). Your hands would tell the tale for days after the deed.
(Also: needs more Muesli, for the "th"es)
posted by Namlit at 9:56 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Well, in terms of ingredients, that dude is a wimp. Too much comfort zone. I would like to see him eat a good spicy Indonesian Ajam boemboe roedjak with a crumbly heap of rice and some extra atjars and other acessoires on the side. Messy, lots of sauce and bits, and blisteringly spicy (if done right). Your hands would tell the tale for days after the deed.
(Also: needs more Muesli, for the "th"es)
posted by Namlit at 9:56 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
BUT HOW DID YOU CUT THE APPLE
When I was cooking just for myself in college I would occasionally "slice" carrots for soup or something by bitting off chunks and spitting them into the pot.
My roommates were always real polite about asking before they ate any of my food, although the question was usually 'How did you make this?" rather than "May I have some?"
posted by straight at 9:59 AM on June 25, 2016 [7 favorites]
When I was cooking just for myself in college I would occasionally "slice" carrots for soup or something by bitting off chunks and spitting them into the pot.
My roommates were always real polite about asking before they ate any of my food, although the question was usually 'How did you make this?" rather than "May I have some?"
posted by straight at 9:59 AM on June 25, 2016 [7 favorites]
There was a whole bit about this in the movie Hostel with a weird businessman (who turned out to be a customer of the "torturing tourists" club) eating a salad with his hands.
"No. I prefer to use my hands. I believe people have lost their relationship with food. They do not think, 'This is something that died for me so that I would not go hungry.' I like that connection with something you die for. I appreciate it more."
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:01 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
"No. I prefer to use my hands. I believe people have lost their relationship with food. They do not think, 'This is something that died for me so that I would not go hungry.' I like that connection with something you die for. I appreciate it more."
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:01 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
They ate it all up! --and also some silverware, please, as they'd been seated at a table that didn't have any.
Maybe they liked the silverware more than they liked the salad.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:05 AM on June 25, 2016
Maybe they liked the silverware more than they liked the salad.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:05 AM on June 25, 2016
Zis iss very gutt!
But where can I get that choco Halfer Crunchy?
posted by sour cream at 10:28 AM on June 25, 2016
But where can I get that choco Halfer Crunchy?
posted by sour cream at 10:28 AM on June 25, 2016
I was up to my elbows in our chicken stock.
I hope you let it cool down first.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:37 AM on June 25, 2016
I hope you let it cool down first.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:37 AM on June 25, 2016
The secret ingredient is scalded skin, eh?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Most food in Cote d'Ivoire is eaten with your right hand. I have a friend who was in one of the armies, and they just serve people in the lower ranks by pouring whatever sauce you're eating over communal pots of rice right after they both come off of the fire. Also, the food is very, very, very spicy. If you wait until food cools down enough to be comfortable to eat, there just won't be any left. He can eat more food more quickly than anyone I've ever met, and then while everyone else is finishing eating, he eats chili peppers. Because why not?
posted by ChuraChura at 11:55 AM on June 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 11:55 AM on June 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
https://youtu.be/_orCijfCO-c
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:52 AM on June 26, 2016
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:52 AM on June 26, 2016
Weirdly, my previous candidate for "most German thing ever" was my German housemate eating a slice of bread with a knife and fork.
posted by zeptoweasel at 8:06 AM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by zeptoweasel at 8:06 AM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Seems like a relatively benign most German thing, seen the alternatives offered here, and the least messy one by far.
posted by Namlit at 8:17 AM on June 26, 2016
posted by Namlit at 8:17 AM on June 26, 2016
Semi-ironic videos aside, I liked this article on eating with your hands.
“Eating with a fork and knife is like making love through an interpreter” — attributed variously to Prime Minister Nehru and the Shah of Iran
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:55 AM on June 26, 2016
“Eating with a fork and knife is like making love through an interpreter” — attributed variously to Prime Minister Nehru and the Shah of Iran
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:55 AM on June 26, 2016
Mod note: Poland derail deleted. Sorry, folks, but it's been super busy for moderators on the site.
posted by taz (staff) at 10:27 PM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by taz (staff) at 10:27 PM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
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Source: I too was once young and single.
posted by chillmost at 5:29 AM on June 25, 2016 [8 favorites]