Hail Satan! Now, who wants a juicebox?

July 31, 2016 10:37 AM

Hey kids! Tired of those boring after-school Christian clubs? Why not try something a little different?

After previous attempts to install a Baphomet statue next to a statue of the Ten Commandments and setting up Satanic Christmas displays, The After School Satan Club is a new attempt by the Satanic Temple (based in Salem, Mass, natch) to use cracks in the wall between Church and State to point out what they view as hypocrisy on the part of government officials. The After School Satan Club is an attempt to counterprogram against Christian clubs in elementary schools, such as the Good News Club.

Of course, no actual goats will be sacrificed on school grounds, as "[t]he Satanic Temple doesn’t espouse a belief in the existence of a supernatural being that other religions identify solemnly as Satan, or Lucifer, or Beelzebub. The Temple rejects all forms of supernaturalism and is committed to the view that scientific rationality provides the best measure of reality."

posted by tau_ceti (28 comments total)

Speaking of Satan, here's the best found VHS channel in a while.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:41 AM on July 31, 2016 [7 favorites]

Deceiving people about the true nature of the Dark Lord sounds pretty evil to me, maybe they won't mind.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:02 AM on July 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

I like this new Satanic Temple. They've discarded the libertarian-ish trappings and occult woo of LaVey and replaced them with the kind of ironic distance that appeals to my crusty blackened Gen X soul.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:04 AM on July 31, 2016 [45 favorites]

Here's more coverage, from the blog Friendly Atheist by Hemant Mehta.
posted by mystyk at 11:04 AM on July 31, 2016

I would pay good money to hear a Satanist's children's choir sing this.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:09 AM on July 31, 2016 [12 favorites]

Our reporter in Dayton, Ohio reached out to local musicians, guitar store clerks, and After School Satan organizers Cyrus Miller and Jeff Black to find out more about their motivations behind starting a club for junior high school students in the face of community and school board opposition. "When you punish a person for dreaming his dreams, don't expect him to thank or forgive you," said Black. Miller nodded, tight-lipped, and declined to comment further.
posted by deludingmyself at 11:25 AM on July 31, 2016 [21 favorites]

Our reporter in Dayton, Ohio...

Say no more, you're wonderful.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 11:43 AM on July 31, 2016 [5 favorites]

Deceiving people about the true nature of the Dark Lord sounds pretty evil to me, maybe they won't mind.

You would think lying would be a sort of sacrament.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:59 AM on July 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

I think that's Denton, TX, not Dayton, OH. But there used to be a Satanic Temple in Dayton. Looks like it closed in 1973, but the building was still labeled as such when I used to walk past in the late 70s or later.
posted by rikschell at 12:41 PM on July 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

This is great, although I'm not sure what they were going for with the video. Seems like trolling.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:53 PM on July 31, 2016

Yctb, hells yes, and then this?
We should work on a mefi-approved Satanist hymnal.

Re-read: deludingmyself beat me to the punch.
posted by es_de_bah at 2:55 PM on July 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

They'll be playing D&D, right?
posted by alexei at 2:59 PM on July 31, 2016 [10 favorites]

Remember: the Satanic Temple, which is responsible for this campaign (as well as others, like the coloring book and the Baphomet statue) has no affiliation with (Anton LaVey’s) Church of Satan, and their respective tenets are vastly different.
posted by nicepersonality at 4:51 PM on July 31, 2016 [8 favorites]

My mother in law just sent a WHAT WHAT WHAT email to my wife about this. We live in Salem - there is no evidence that they are setting up this program here but I guess the MiL did not read that far.

Still, if they did, we'd look in to it for our kid. Afterschool is expensive and if we can get it subsidized by Old Scratch...
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:59 PM on July 31, 2016 [9 favorites]

Of course they say they don't actually believe in him. No sense ruining his greatest trick, after all.
posted by ckape at 5:30 PM on July 31, 2016 [12 favorites]

In the early 1990's a buddy of mine got our public college to let him start a Satanist club. It was really fun to watch.

Buddy: "Here is my application for the Satanist Club to be recognized by the school."
College: "You can't do that."
Buddy: "Yes I can. You recognize Christian clubs. If you discriminate against us on the basis of our religion it will be on the front page of the paper tomorrow and I'll have lawyers all over you."

And so for one year the school recognized that there was a Satanist club. By "recognize" he got a charter and a meeting space, but no one showed up. The school never listed the club anywhere.

He wasn't a Satanist, just an intelligent smart-ass who wanted to mess with the system.
posted by ITravelMontana at 6:23 PM on July 31, 2016 [4 favorites]

So, some of my fellow Satanists moan and groan about these trolls. I'm annoyed with specifics, and that they took some of the atheistic components and turn it into a trolling humanistic joke, which is not proper Satanism as codified in the 1960s, but I mostly roll my eyes and move the fuck on, because it doesn't benefit me to bitch about a bunch of noisy asshats. You know what I did last week? I taught my niblings about plankton and whales. Their (parents') God and my Satanism don't need to come into it.

That said, a major, major fundamental practice of Satanism is 'nope, not until you're 18 do you get to do anything with the organization,' both from a legal quagmire standpoint as well as a philosophical opposition to indoctrination at a young age. I get that their deal is to directly oppose a Christian group that has no business being in schools, but this is not a way to get rationalism and critical thought into the youth.

Then again, with circus acts being a way to get into politics, perhaps we should abandon the thought of a classical education.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 6:49 PM on July 31, 2016 [3 favorites]

I think that's Denton, TX, not Dayton, OH.

... I don't know how my brain conflated that. Huh!
posted by deludingmyself at 6:56 PM on July 31, 2016

I get that their deal is to directly oppose a Christian group that has no business being in schools, but this is not a way to get rationalism and critical thought into the youth.

Well, rationalism and critical thought are not religions... And their aim isn't to get Satanism into schools, it's to get Christianity OUT of schools.

Yes they are trolls. I mailed someone today this story with the subject being "My favorite trolls." Not all trolls are evil.
posted by el io at 7:30 PM on July 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wait, is there anything to Satanism that's not a troll? I thought that was the entire point of the Baphomet statues, etc. It's a perfect vehicle for highlighting the hipocracy of Christian appropriation of the public sphere, specifically because they're really talking about rational humanism if you read the slightest bit behind the headline.

Remember: the Satanic Temple, which is responsible for this campaign (as well as others, like the coloring book and the Baphomet statue) has no affiliation with (Anton LaVey’s) Church of Satan, and their respective tenets are vastly different.

Oh. I see. I like the trolling for rationalism version a lot better.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:47 PM on July 31, 2016 [4 favorites]

Ah, another excuse to link to one of Mr. Show's best bits, the Hail Satan Network.
posted by JHarris at 7:59 PM on July 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

Let's just reflect on the fact that there's an organisation called the "Child Evangelism Fellowship".

Surely this must be one of the most intellectually evil organisations in the world.
posted by fontor at 9:36 PM on July 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

Can't we all get behind the ASS Club?
posted by MikeKD at 1:15 AM on August 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Dayton rhymes with Satan!
Souce: I'm dying here
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 1:30 AM on August 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

proper Satanism as codified in the 1960s

i.e., Nietzsche/Ayn Rand plus Hammond organ music
posted by acb at 6:51 AM on August 1, 2016 [3 favorites]

Special guest speaker Azrael the Demon leads a symposium on the concept of evil.
posted by prepmonkey at 8:20 AM on August 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I always love satanic political action.

I've wanted for years to get Discordian scripture into schools in the deep south, but Discordians are a bit too, well, disorganized to manage the fundraising and ancillary actions required. (I'd love to see Wiccan booklets as well, but too many Wiccans and members of related religions would insist that proselytization is evil and miss the point.)

I like the Satanic Temple more than LaVey's group; I most of the various theistic Satanists more, but those mostly stay out of these kinds of politics because, well, atheist Satanists get sneered at in public; theistic ones often get their windows smashed and tires slashed when they get found out.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 2:47 PM on August 1, 2016

My take is that they're trying to get all religious clubs out of schools, and this approach may be working:

Several school districts say After School Satan clubs likely in line with policies

“I thought [Prince George’s] County had a policy where they separated church and state,” said Howard-Brock, who said she is Christian and responded favorably to the concept of the Good News Club. She said she thinks that “in the times that we live in now, and all that’s going on with our children, it is a positive thing.”

But when she learned about the possibility of an After School Satan Club, she suggested that maybe all religious groups should move off campus.

“It’s going to become a distraction,” she said. “We should just abolish groups like that from being on school premises, because it just may offend someone. The kids really need to focus on the education piece.”
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:10 PM on August 1, 2016 [2 favorites]