Copycat Clown Killers?

September 7, 2016 9:54 AM

North Carolina is facing an invasion of clowns. And that is not a euphemism for anything political. There have been about a half dozen nefarious clown sightings since late summer.
posted by Stewriffic (57 comments total)

Of course where I grew up has creepy clown sightings. Of course. (Also, Greenville, SC/Greensboro/Winston-Salem don't really make a triangle.)
posted by Kitteh at 10:00 AM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I feel bound to defend my home state by pointing out that this began in South Carolina, where frankly North Carolinians expect this sort of nonsense.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:00 AM on September 7, 2016 [15 favorites]

North Carolina is facing an invasion of clowns viral marketing.

They do appear to be playing a longer game than is usual, however.
posted by ryanshepard at 10:02 AM on September 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

They'd been a problem in Florida for a while, and I'd heard some speculation that climate change might cause them to migrate farther north.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 10:02 AM on September 7, 2016 [41 favorites]

Im pretty sure this is just the state legislature.
posted by kingv at 10:04 AM on September 7, 2016 [8 favorites]

The real scary clowns in North Carolina are in the legislature and governors mansion. These sightings were probably just stray juggalos.
posted by humanfont at 10:04 AM on September 7, 2016 [10 favorites]

Like UFOs and Sasquatch and stairs in the woods, these clown sightings are bullshit until you show me some pix.
posted by Chrischris at 10:05 AM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

So this is obviously an incident of mass hysteria (there were no actual clowns lurking in the woods trying to kidnap kids initially), followed by internet memery, since everybody thinks its funny to be afraid of clowns. When is the new IT movie going to come out, just to be sure this isn't a viral marketing scheme gone awry?
posted by jackbrown at 10:06 AM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Whoop whoop, my ninjas. The hour of the juggalos is nigh.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 10:06 AM on September 7, 2016 [32 favorites]

I thought at first this might be related:
"Folks are being warned about what to do if they see clowns in an area where you wouldn't normally see clowns, tonight at 11 on @WTKR3"

..but WKTR3 is in VA..
Hrmm.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 10:07 AM on September 7, 2016

There have been about a half dozen nefarious clown sightings since late summer.

"Nefarious" in the above sentence is redundant.
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 10:11 AM on September 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

I think the whole thing is hilarious, weird, interesting in a sociological sense, and distracting from threats in North Carolina that are actually known to be harmful.
posted by Stewriffic at 10:17 AM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Witnesses phone local police to report a menacing clown or clowns, but officers cannot verify the sightings.

So, no actual clowns found.

Moral panic in action. Instead of heavy metal, D&D, or satanists, this time it's clowns.

Beware the clowns: a lesson in moral panic:

Stuart Poyntz, an Associate Professor in communications at Simon Fraser University, says the media may be contributing to a moral panic.

Poyntz says the story, with its vague sense of reality, plays on people's fears that some universal insidious force is trying to lure or corrupt children.

To Poyntz, there's a fascinating resonance between the stock images of clowns used in media reports on the story, and a recent political debate in North and South Carolina. Recently, the Carolinas have hosted a debate over transgenderism and access to bathrooms, with bills proposed in each state to prevent people using the bathroom of their choice. A widely shared meme during those debates depicted a man wearing gawdy clothing, smeared makeup, and a wig. It warned of allowing this clown-like man near one's children.

[...]

As for the media, he'd recommend at least trying to determine whether sinister clowns are actually in the woods of South Carolina before reporting on the story any further.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:18 AM on September 7, 2016 [11 favorites]

"Folks are being warned about what to do if they see clowns in an area where you wouldn't normally see clowns, tonight at 11 on @WTKR3"

Apply Clownaway ointment to the affected area, and make sure you get plenty of sun. Now over to Steve for the weather!
posted by zamboni at 10:19 AM on September 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Huh, in a world where you can expect blurry smartphone video of every mildly interesting occurrence, no scary clowns captured? Perhaps people are just spamming the police with bogus calls.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:22 AM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

"Folks are being warned about what to do if they see clowns in an area where you wouldn't normally see clowns, tonight at 11 on @WTKR3"

"Police want to remind residents that people do not 'all float' down there. If anyone approaches you with this claim, police say, it's likely a scam."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:22 AM on September 7, 2016 [21 favorites]

nefarious clown is redundant
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:25 AM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Isn't the remake of Stephen King's It about to be released?
posted by Beholder at 10:25 AM on September 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Paging Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope...
posted by jonmc at 10:26 AM on September 7, 2016

Possibly relevant.
posted by mosk at 10:27 AM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Matt, that is a fiery burn right there.
posted by constantinescharity at 10:27 AM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Earlier this summer I was driving down I-70 and idly looked into the car I was passing. It was some kind of old school Ford sedan, and sitting in it, with their wacky suits and wild curly hair and make-up, were four clowns staring intently down the road. I had just looked into a real life clown car.

It was one of the most delightful things I've ever seen, and it fills me with even more delight to imagine them on their way to North Carolina, ready to do serious clown business, their long red noses bouncing up and down with every bump they hit on the road the entire way there.
posted by barchan at 10:37 AM on September 7, 2016 [25 favorites]

What a bunch of Bozos.

Terribly sorry, I'll just see myself out...
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 10:47 AM on September 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

It sounds like a medication side effect. "If you find yourself seeing clowns where you would not normally see clowns, please discontinue use and call your doctor immediately."
posted by giraffe at 10:48 AM on September 7, 2016 [13 favorites]

They'd been a problem in Florida for a while, and I'd heard some speculation that climate change might cause them to migrate farther north.

If they have any sense, they'll stay the fuck out of Toronto
posted by indubitable at 10:50 AM on September 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Whoop whoop, my ninjas. The hour of the juggalos is nigh.


Don't be ridiculous.


Juggalos can't tell time.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:52 AM on September 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

since everybody thinks its funny to be afraid of clowns.

Fear of clowns is a real thing, and while I'm not personally afraid of them, it makes a lot more sense than many other irrational fears. Clowns occupy the uncanny valley, and outside of particular contexts, covering one's face or disguising oneself is something that dangerous people do, not law-abiding citizens.

"Clowns are creepy" is a genuine collective agreement like centipedes being gross, not a meme like Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer, or the word "moist" being gross.
posted by explosion at 10:52 AM on September 7, 2016 [9 favorites]

Florida has stand your ground laws, which probably encouraged the migration north..
posted by k5.user at 11:06 AM on September 7, 2016

Wait until the icecaps finish melting... then everything down here will float.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:09 AM on September 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

In re being afraid of clowns: there are quite a few places with a history of ritual clowning. Punch and Judy are puppets but they're clown-like and derive from clowns, there are sacred clowns in several Native traditions, if you read up on a lot of the early circus clown acts it turns out that they could be pretty eerie. You could argue that ceremonies with ritual masks are related to clowning, and a lot of those are also liminal/eerie/intense.

I wonder when circus clowns really made the transition from vaguely Italianate, still-slightly-eerie-and-violent to "supposed to be for children"? Some time in the 20th century, but I'm not sure when.

I tend to think "lol I'm so scared of clowns" is more the turning of an actual cultural anxiety into a lol than anything else. I do find the meme-ish-ness about it kind of annoying, though.
posted by Frowner at 11:29 AM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I sent this article to a friend in Greensboro, and he reports that he has seen no suspicious clowns, but people do keep chasing him into the woods with machetes.
posted by Adridne at 11:31 AM on September 7, 2016 [12 favorites]

As for the media, he'd recommend at least trying to determine whether sinister clowns are actually in the woods of South Carolina before reporting on the story any further.

Oh, sure, and then the intrepid young reporters are never heard from again.
posted by nickmark at 11:32 AM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

I think between Pennywise and the clown doll in the boy's bedroom in Poltergeist, I've got clown dread down pat, thanks. I see a clown just standing and beckoning, I think I'm going to have to go full conservative on it.
posted by Mooski at 11:33 AM on September 7, 2016

I feel bound to defend my home state by pointing out that this began in South Carolina, where frankly North Carolinians expect this sort of nonsense.

Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me using any bathroom I damn well please.
posted by ND¢ at 12:04 PM on September 7, 2016 [10 favorites]

Oh, sure, and then the intrepid young reporters are never heard from again.

Their bodies, tangled in the kudzu, are discovered by an errant jogger in the fall as the leaves drop.
posted by indubitable at 12:17 PM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Fear of clowns is a real thing...Clowns occupy the uncanny valley

Or occupy...the Cool Row, perhaps?
posted by ilana at 12:19 PM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those Juggalo kits!
posted by chavenet at 12:31 PM on September 7, 2016

Apply Clownaway ointment to the affected area, and make sure you get plenty of sun.

The last time I followed that advice, I ended up half-covered in greasepaint with a bright red sunburned nose.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:37 PM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

viral marketing
posted by entropicamericana at 12:54 PM on September 7, 2016

Slightly scarier, brought to you by Nothinghappenington.
posted by Juso No Thankyou at 12:57 PM on September 7, 2016

Greenville police announced Thursday that anyone dressed like a clown and terrorizing residents will face arrest.

I'm tired of the clown shit too. So off my lawn. Is it because its easy-creepy that it keeps being done? Is there some uncanny clown valley where a person dressed like Slenderman or Nothman or springheeled jack or a less-common trope is just gonna be "a person in a costume" while the clown is still a clown?

Also, if you're terrorizing residents of Greenville as Slenderman are you all good or it more about the terrorizing part?

I had to look up the last time(s) this had happened and now can't get the idea of a "The Streets Clowns of Bakersfield" out of my head. MeMail me for collabs
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:59 PM on September 7, 2016

It's very easy to see the clowns that are there, the hard part is seeing the clowns that aren't there.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 1:27 PM on September 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

The Guns Clowns of Brixton*

When they kick at your front door
How you gonna clown?
With your hands on your head
Or a clown car on the town?
When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or honking your big red nose?
You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, the clowns of Brixton
The makeup feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell
You see, he feels like Bozo
Born under the Brixton sun
His game is called the circus
And he's got the clowning goods
You know it means no mercy
They caught him in the woods
No need for the clown car
Goodbye to the Brixton sun
You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Oh, the clowns of Brixton
When they kick at your front door
How you gonna clown?

* With profound apologies to Joe.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:37 PM on September 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Maybe there's a bad batch of Claridryl™ in the Mid-Atlantic region.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:52 PM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

In the 1980s, there was a small mass hysteria in Kansas (I think) about Smurfs. There was a story afloat about Smurfs in the school bathroom - actual tiny Smurfs escaping down the toilet. Loren Coleman had this story in one of his books, IIRC. It wasn't near where I'm from, although it was not long before I heard through the grapevine that Smurfs were Satanic.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:59 PM on September 7, 2016

The public is advised to avoid any large groups of clowns that they may encounter...
posted by Reverend John at 3:45 PM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

If this is a remembrance of the Great Clown Migration of 1961 then they have some pretty big shoes to fill.
posted by little eiffel at 5:57 PM on September 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Oh, well done, Mandolin Conspiracy! Since I've been on a serious Smiths jag the last few weeks, in addition to being addled by lack of sleep now that the littlest Naberius has finally arrived, allow me to offer my own homage to clowns in the medium of 80s brit pop.

Panic on the streets of Raleigh
Panic on the streets of Greensboro
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again?
The New Bern streets that you slip down
I wonder to myself
Hopes may rise in Ashville
But honey pie, you're not safe here
So you run down
To the safety of the town
But there's panic on the streets of High Point
Charlotte, Durham, Chapel Hill
I wonder to myself

Burn down the circus
Hang the blessed clowns
Because the noses that they constantly honk
It says nothing to me about my life
Hang the blessed clowns
Because the noses they constantly honk
On the New Bern streets that you slip down
The tidewater towns you jog 'round

Clowns are coming, clowns are coming, clowns are coming
Clowns are coming, clowns are coming, clowns are coming
posted by Naberius at 7:58 PM on September 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Something something clowns something something HB2 something something Pat McCrory.
posted by oceanjesse at 8:01 PM on September 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

This thread needs a little more something something, actually...

*drums fingers on desk*

Aha!

A minute and a half of Tim Curry laughing (go to 0:18).
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:29 PM on September 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns?
posted by lordrunningclam at 4:41 AM on September 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

We already knew it had to be a hoax, but here we go with the deets of the person who got arrested.
posted by Stewriffic at 12:52 PM on September 9, 2016

Countess Elena: "In the 1980s, there was a small mass hysteria in Kansas (I think) about Smurfs. There was a story afloat about Smurfs in the school bathroom - actual tiny Smurfs escaping down the toilet. Loren Coleman had this story in one of his books, IIRC. It wasn't near where I'm from, although it was not long before I heard through the grapevine that Smurfs were Satanic."

In the early 1980s in Houston kids at my school (and apparently at lots of Houston schools) were terrified of a street gang called the Smurfs. Perhaps that migrated upwards and got garbled in the retelling?

April 4, 1983 edition of Newsweek:

It started out innocently enough: in January a Houston TV station reported that several juveniles believed to be called "the Smurfs" had been arrested for a series of petty crimes. Before long though, rumors were sweeping elementary and junior-high schools that a vicious gang was terrorizing youngsters and murdering principals all across the city. The marauding Smurfs were variously reported to be wearing blue body paint or blackjackets, carrying knives or machine guns. Some students said kids wearing sky blue clothes were in danger; others insisted that sky blue clothing would ward off attack. At the Aldine school district, the Smurfs were said to be hiding out in restrooms. "Some of our sixth graders refused to go to the bathroom," said district spokesperson Judy Williams. Attendance in some schools dropped. Frantic parents deluged administrators with calls. "One of my friends was so scared she moved back to Philadelphia," reported Jainie, a seventh grader at Fondren Middle School.

Recently Houston police charged about 40 youngsters and 7 adults with Smurf-related goings-on -- mostly burglary and petty theft -- but wearily insisted that the Smurf gang had never been in the Houston schools. "Kids desperately wanted to believe [that the Smurfs were there] -- they wanted some excitement," said Franklin Turner, pricipal at the Johnston Middle School, who, according to the rumors, had been murdered by the Smurfs. At the Welch Middle School, meanwhile, Principal Bill Morgan decided to fight fantasy with fantasy. Morgan announced over the school's public-address system that Garfield the cat and the Greatest American Hero were on their way to protect the students.

posted by Bugbread at 4:14 PM on September 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

At least one of the NC sightings is fake: Winston-Salem man charged with making up story about clown sighting

Another sighting also appears to be a fabrication by children:

According to police reports, two children reported seeing the clown, and one adult hearing, but not seeing, the clown. That clown was alleged to have fled the scene by the time officers arrived, police said.

Police said that during the course of the investigation, they found video surveillance footage of the area where the clown was allegedly seen. Officers reviewed the footage covering the time of the reported sighting and for a period before and after. The video did not show anyone dressed as a clown or attempting to lure children into the woods, police said.
posted by mediareport at 10:48 AM on September 10, 2016

Clown robs two hotels in suburban Detroit
posted by Etrigan at 8:36 AM on October 6, 2016

Clown mask sales up 300 percent from last year
posted by Etrigan at 8:42 AM on October 6, 2016

Clown arrested in Portland this morning

Clowns with knives threaten teens in New York City

NPR summary of the continuing clown crime wave
posted by chrchr at 2:20 PM on October 6, 2016