WINGARDIUM LEVILOSER
September 25, 2016 3:20 PM Subscribe
Albus Dumbledore Is Not A Responsible Educator
Comics by floccinaucinihilipilification.
Bonus: Dragon Bros
Comics by floccinaucinihilipilification.
Bonus: Dragon Bros
These comics are terribly misinformed and wrong.
A whale Patronus would be amazing.
posted by Rangi at 3:37 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
A whale Patronus would be amazing.
posted by Rangi at 3:37 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Did you know that Tumblr lets you add text to a post in a place other than the tags?
I understand having little jokes in the tags but paragraphs worth of text? Insanity.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:38 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
I understand having little jokes in the tags but paragraphs worth of text? Insanity.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:38 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ahahaha new headcanon Dumbledore
posted by the marble index at 3:39 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by the marble index at 3:39 PM on September 25, 2016
Did you know that Tumblr lets you add text to a post in a place other than the tags?
I understand having little jokes in the tags but paragraphs worth of text? Insanity.
It's a stylistic thing. The tags double as a margin/footnote area, so whatever's there is clearly set aside as not-main content. No capital letters or periods contributes to that.
posted by Rangi at 3:44 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
I understand having little jokes in the tags but paragraphs worth of text? Insanity.
It's a stylistic thing. The tags double as a margin/footnote area, so whatever's there is clearly set aside as not-main content. No capital letters or periods contributes to that.
posted by Rangi at 3:44 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
silly rabbit the pictures are there to support the tags
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:46 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:46 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
also
NEEDS MORE HAWT DUMBLEDORE LEGS & LINGERIE
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
NEEDS MORE HAWT DUMBLEDORE LEGS & LINGERIE
posted by Foci for Analysis at 3:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is killing me, I love it!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:31 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:31 PM on September 25, 2016
This does totally tap into my deep and abiding hatred for Dumbledore, a character whose career is testimony to how far you can get as a middle class white dude if you know how to trot out the platitudes. I read the books about the time I was doing some teacher training and everyone around me got really sick of my "but this is actually a terrible school run by idiots" talk.
posted by Frowner at 4:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [38 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 4:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [38 favorites]
He's got nothing on Professor X, though.
posted by Artw at 4:57 PM on September 25, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Artw at 4:57 PM on September 25, 2016 [9 favorites]
Floccinaucinihilipilification also does the occasional but excellent Lame Selfie Bee comics that we discussed a while ago.
posted by ubersturm at 5:03 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by ubersturm at 5:03 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
It's been mentioned elsewhere, but you don't even have to make stuff up to see that Dumbledore is a truly awful headmaster. He might be a great wizard. He might be good at fighting evil wizards.
But he can't run a school, mostly because he's using the school to hide and employ people for his secret army. That's a really awful way to run a school.
Seriously. WTF Albus.
He hired a known and proven fraud to teach Divination. Maybe there isn't much to Divination anyway, but if so then just stop teaching it. Yes, he wanted to hide Trelawny from Voldemort. But sticking her in charge of a class is a lousy way to do it.
He keeps a very boring, awful, ghost teacher around to teach History of Magic. A fairly important topic, and every kid at his school who isn't Hermione is going to fail her History OWL, nevermind the NEWT, because the teacher is not merely awful, but after he died he turned even more boring.
And potions. What the actual fuck. Potions. He employs Snape, who is crippling 1/4 of the student body's ability to brew a potion by his clear and blatant discrimination against Gryffindor. That isn't something pointless like Diviniation, it's a critical wizarding skill, and fully 1/4 of his class is going to suck mightily at it because he'd rather needle and taunt them than teach them. Snape should never have been given a teaching job if his attitude towards the stupid little House crap is going to be that bad.
And furthermore, while he's clearly a gifted potion brewer himself, Snape isn't passing on any of his actual useful information. The stuff he wrote in his old textbook he's keeping secret instead of spreading. WTF Snape?
And then there's Care of Magical Creatures. Yes, Hagrid is a great guy, a stout friend, a bold warrior, but he's giving Binns, Trelawney, and Snape tough competition for first place in the "worst teacher at Hogwarts" competition. He's not quite as bad as any of those three, he knows his material, he isn't going out of his way to be awful to anyone, and he at least tries to make interesting classes, but he isn't covering a lot of important creatures and his teaching skills and methods are completely awful.
It seems that at least half the staff at Hogwarts is either incompetent, doesn't know their material, or actively malicious.
And that's not even beginning to get into the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Of all the topics Dumbledore, who clearly thinks of himself as the leader of the Order of the Phoenix first and Headmaster last, might think are important you'd think he'd consider Defense Against the Dark Arts to be important.
But no. First he put fucking VOLDEMORT in charge of teaching the class. Way to go dude.
Then he put a blowhard know nothing who taught the kids absolutely nothing useful at all.
He did, finally, get a competent teacher (at least when it comes to Dark Creatures).
Another traitor.
A hostile Ministry plant who went out of her way to sabotage the class.
And finally Snape. The guy who sabotaged the ability of Gryffindor students to learn Potions is now sabotaging their ability to defend themselves.
Way to go Albus.
If he isn't the worst headmaster in all history I'd like to know who was worse.
posted by sotonohito at 5:23 PM on September 25, 2016 [47 favorites]
But he can't run a school, mostly because he's using the school to hide and employ people for his secret army. That's a really awful way to run a school.
Seriously. WTF Albus.
He hired a known and proven fraud to teach Divination. Maybe there isn't much to Divination anyway, but if so then just stop teaching it. Yes, he wanted to hide Trelawny from Voldemort. But sticking her in charge of a class is a lousy way to do it.
He keeps a very boring, awful, ghost teacher around to teach History of Magic. A fairly important topic, and every kid at his school who isn't Hermione is going to fail her History OWL, nevermind the NEWT, because the teacher is not merely awful, but after he died he turned even more boring.
And potions. What the actual fuck. Potions. He employs Snape, who is crippling 1/4 of the student body's ability to brew a potion by his clear and blatant discrimination against Gryffindor. That isn't something pointless like Diviniation, it's a critical wizarding skill, and fully 1/4 of his class is going to suck mightily at it because he'd rather needle and taunt them than teach them. Snape should never have been given a teaching job if his attitude towards the stupid little House crap is going to be that bad.
And furthermore, while he's clearly a gifted potion brewer himself, Snape isn't passing on any of his actual useful information. The stuff he wrote in his old textbook he's keeping secret instead of spreading. WTF Snape?
And then there's Care of Magical Creatures. Yes, Hagrid is a great guy, a stout friend, a bold warrior, but he's giving Binns, Trelawney, and Snape tough competition for first place in the "worst teacher at Hogwarts" competition. He's not quite as bad as any of those three, he knows his material, he isn't going out of his way to be awful to anyone, and he at least tries to make interesting classes, but he isn't covering a lot of important creatures and his teaching skills and methods are completely awful.
It seems that at least half the staff at Hogwarts is either incompetent, doesn't know their material, or actively malicious.
And that's not even beginning to get into the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Of all the topics Dumbledore, who clearly thinks of himself as the leader of the Order of the Phoenix first and Headmaster last, might think are important you'd think he'd consider Defense Against the Dark Arts to be important.
But no. First he put fucking VOLDEMORT in charge of teaching the class. Way to go dude.
Then he put a blowhard know nothing who taught the kids absolutely nothing useful at all.
He did, finally, get a competent teacher (at least when it comes to Dark Creatures).
Another traitor.
A hostile Ministry plant who went out of her way to sabotage the class.
And finally Snape. The guy who sabotaged the ability of Gryffindor students to learn Potions is now sabotaging their ability to defend themselves.
Way to go Albus.
If he isn't the worst headmaster in all history I'd like to know who was worse.
posted by sotonohito at 5:23 PM on September 25, 2016 [47 favorites]
Dolores Umbridge, duh.
posted by oddman at 5:32 PM on September 25, 2016 [31 favorites]
posted by oddman at 5:32 PM on September 25, 2016 [31 favorites]
It seems that at least half the staff at Hogwarts is either incompetent, doesn't know their material, or actively malicious.
Is it that suprising? There doesn't seem to be any tertiary education in the wizarding world. None of these people actually have teaching qualifications. Hagrid didn't even graduate from Hogwarts!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:49 PM on September 25, 2016 [14 favorites]
Is it that suprising? There doesn't seem to be any tertiary education in the wizarding world. None of these people actually have teaching qualifications. Hagrid didn't even graduate from Hogwarts!
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:49 PM on September 25, 2016 [14 favorites]
he can't run a school, mostly because he's using the school to hide and employ people for his secret army. That's a really awful way to run a school.
ARE YOU GETTING THIS XAVIER, OVER. WE HAVE TAPPED INTO A MUGGLE CHAN RE SUDO MUTANTS IN ALT UNI UK-UNO, OVER. PLEASE ADVISE.
posted by mwhybark at 5:53 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
ARE YOU GETTING THIS XAVIER, OVER. WE HAVE TAPPED INTO A MUGGLE CHAN RE SUDO MUTANTS IN ALT UNI UK-UNO, OVER. PLEASE ADVISE.
posted by mwhybark at 5:53 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
McGonagall is the worst though.
"We've discovered one of the other teachers is feeding unruly students into the wood-chipper!"
"And how did you come by this information, children?"
"We snooped his conversations using magic."
"What! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! This is a faculty matter and you have no justification for interfering!"
posted by um at 6:06 PM on September 25, 2016 [19 favorites]
"We've discovered one of the other teachers is feeding unruly students into the wood-chipper!"
"And how did you come by this information, children?"
"We snooped his conversations using magic."
"What! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! This is a faculty matter and you have no justification for interfering!"
posted by um at 6:06 PM on September 25, 2016 [19 favorites]
The following day an announcement goes out:
'It has come to my attention that several students have been pushed into the wood-chipper recently. May I remind everyone that the wood-chipper is off-limits to students and anyone found near, or inside, it will be severely disciplined.'
posted by um at 6:12 PM on September 25, 2016 [25 favorites]
'It has come to my attention that several students have been pushed into the wood-chipper recently. May I remind everyone that the wood-chipper is off-limits to students and anyone found near, or inside, it will be severely disciplined.'
posted by um at 6:12 PM on September 25, 2016 [25 favorites]
There doesn't seem to be any tertiary education in the wizarding world. None of these people actually have teaching qualifications. Hagrid didn't even graduate from Hogwarts!
I think this may come downto J K Rowling being a bad writer to the very small size of the wizarding world. The UK's magical population is that of a small town, variously estimated from a few thousands to a few tens of thousands. A real town that size would heavily depend on outside expertise for teacher training. Without it, you have classes taught by well-meaning duffers and busybodies.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:13 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
I think this may come down
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:13 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]
A real town that size would heavily depend on outside expertise for teacher training.
And wizards are pretty mugglist (?), so they would never deign to go to a muggle university and learn about pedagogy which, in the end, doesn't really have anything to do with magic. Even the muggle-born apparently never consider the possibility.
Not that they could cope with a Muggle university, since they never learn basic skills like maths, science, language and literature...etc.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
And wizards are pretty mugglist (?), so they would never deign to go to a muggle university and learn about pedagogy which, in the end, doesn't really have anything to do with magic. Even the muggle-born apparently never consider the possibility.
Not that they could cope with a Muggle university, since they never learn basic skills like maths, science, language and literature...etc.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [4 favorites]
"What! You should all be ashamed of yourselves! This is a faculty matter and you have no justification for interfering!"
well he has tenure so firing him will be quite impossible you see...
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:32 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
well he has tenure so firing him will be quite impossible you see...
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:32 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'M DYING MR. WHISKERS
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:36 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:36 PM on September 25, 2016
And that's not even beginning to get into the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Of all the topics Dumbledore, who clearly thinks of himself as the leader of the Order of the Phoenix first and Headmaster last, might think are important you'd think he'd consider Defense Against the Dark Arts to be important.
But no. First he put fucking VOLDEMORT in charge of teaching the class. Way to go dude.
Voldemort was never a professor of DADA -- both Dumbledore and Dippet denied him the position multiple times, first because Riddle was too young, and next because Dumbledore sensed he was up to no good. After denying Riddle the position thrice (I think), Riddle jinxed the role and from there on out no one who taught the class would a) be good, and b) last longer than a year. The jinx was almost broken by Remus Lupin, but inevitably prevailed once more, likely due to the time traveling machinations present in Prisoner of Azkaban. Using the time turner may have saved Buckbeak and Sirius, but it most definitely cost Lupin his job (and furthered the eternal damnation of the position until Voldemort's defeat).
Dumbledore's willingness to give certain people a chance was, IMO, one of the strategies he used to carefully position the pieces he needed to overtake Voldemort by sending Harry to his death. The incompetence of Trelawney, Binns, etc, etc, distracted the greater wizarding world from Dumbledore's primary mission -- that the DADA position was cursed was almost an added bonus, especially when Lockhart's ludicrousness came into the mix.
And potions. What the actual fuck. Potions. He employs Snape, who is crippling 1/4 of the student body's ability to brew a potion by his clear and blatant discrimination against Gryffindor. That isn't something pointless like Diviniation, it's a critical wizarding skill, and fully 1/4 of his class is going to suck mightily at it because he'd rather needle and taunt them than teach them. Snape should never have been given a teaching job if his attitude towards the stupid little House crap is going to be that bad.
And furthermore, while he's clearly a gifted potion brewer himself, Snape isn't passing on any of his actual useful information. The stuff he wrote in his old textbook he's keeping secret instead of spreading. WTF Snape?
Snape is an interesting case. He does pass on his considerable knowledge and ability to the student in his Potions class -- by insisting that all instructions be taken from the recipes he would write on the board each period. Those were HIS versions of the potions students needed to learn, the revised editions he developed as a student along with Sectumsempra and Muffliato. His commitment to sharing what he knew to be superior instructions is what enabled Hermione and Malfoy to be such excellent potions masters up until their 6th year, when Slughorn took over Potions after Snape finally took on the DADA position. Hermione stuck to the textbook and floundered; Harry followed the Half Blood Prince's guidelines, and succeeded.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:05 PM on September 25, 2016 [23 favorites]
But no. First he put fucking VOLDEMORT in charge of teaching the class. Way to go dude.
Voldemort was never a professor of DADA -- both Dumbledore and Dippet denied him the position multiple times, first because Riddle was too young, and next because Dumbledore sensed he was up to no good. After denying Riddle the position thrice (I think), Riddle jinxed the role and from there on out no one who taught the class would a) be good, and b) last longer than a year. The jinx was almost broken by Remus Lupin, but inevitably prevailed once more, likely due to the time traveling machinations present in Prisoner of Azkaban. Using the time turner may have saved Buckbeak and Sirius, but it most definitely cost Lupin his job (and furthered the eternal damnation of the position until Voldemort's defeat).
Dumbledore's willingness to give certain people a chance was, IMO, one of the strategies he used to carefully position the pieces he needed to overtake Voldemort by sending Harry to his death. The incompetence of Trelawney, Binns, etc, etc, distracted the greater wizarding world from Dumbledore's primary mission -- that the DADA position was cursed was almost an added bonus, especially when Lockhart's ludicrousness came into the mix.
And potions. What the actual fuck. Potions. He employs Snape, who is crippling 1/4 of the student body's ability to brew a potion by his clear and blatant discrimination against Gryffindor. That isn't something pointless like Diviniation, it's a critical wizarding skill, and fully 1/4 of his class is going to suck mightily at it because he'd rather needle and taunt them than teach them. Snape should never have been given a teaching job if his attitude towards the stupid little House crap is going to be that bad.
And furthermore, while he's clearly a gifted potion brewer himself, Snape isn't passing on any of his actual useful information. The stuff he wrote in his old textbook he's keeping secret instead of spreading. WTF Snape?
Snape is an interesting case. He does pass on his considerable knowledge and ability to the student in his Potions class -- by insisting that all instructions be taken from the recipes he would write on the board each period. Those were HIS versions of the potions students needed to learn, the revised editions he developed as a student along with Sectumsempra and Muffliato. His commitment to sharing what he knew to be superior instructions is what enabled Hermione and Malfoy to be such excellent potions masters up until their 6th year, when Slughorn took over Potions after Snape finally took on the DADA position. Hermione stuck to the textbook and floundered; Harry followed the Half Blood Prince's guidelines, and succeeded.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:05 PM on September 25, 2016 [23 favorites]
It seems that at least half the staff at Hogwarts is either incompetent, doesn't know their material, or actively malicious.
Not seeing how this differs from regular schools, to be honest.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:09 PM on September 25, 2016 [20 favorites]
Not seeing how this differs from regular schools, to be honest.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:09 PM on September 25, 2016 [20 favorites]
Why do we even have that wood-chipper?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:16 PM on September 25, 2016 [18 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:16 PM on September 25, 2016 [18 favorites]
Dumbledore was an awful administrator, it's true, and at multiple occasions the school governors or the ministry of magic ousted him for it. It just so happened that every time he was removed as headmaster things got significantly worse. Dumbledore held his position via a mixture of his formidable magical ability and the general incompetence of anyone else that would take the job.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
update: my die-hard dumbledore and snape fan dad is not amused by this AT ALL
posted by Hermione Granger
Right but I think we're all pretty clear that your muggle dad is not up on the wizarding world gossip, even before you cast the memory charm on him.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:28 PM on September 25, 2016 [22 favorites]
posted by Hermione Granger
Right but I think we're all pretty clear that your muggle dad is not up on the wizarding world gossip, even before you cast the memory charm on him.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:28 PM on September 25, 2016 [22 favorites]
As Foci for Analysis pointed out, the wood chipper has tenure.
posted by um at 7:39 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by um at 7:39 PM on September 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Why do we even have that wood-chipper?I'm personally surprised at the number of wood-chipper deaths this year. I thought that the corridor of traps and the angry ogre would keep the kids safe. And we went to all that trouble to spread vague rumors about the thing being down there, too, that usually keeps everyone out.
posted by Horkus at 7:40 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
Voldemort was never a professor of DADA
He was if you count the year he was living on the back of Quirrel's head.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:40 PM on September 25, 2016 [13 favorites]
He was if you count the year he was living on the back of Quirrel's head.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:40 PM on September 25, 2016 [13 favorites]
Oooooooohhhh good point
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:40 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:40 PM on September 25, 2016
But see I feel like that particular plot point falls under the category of "JK Rowling kind of sucks at accounting when it comes to plot consistency and ret-conning" because if Voldemort was at least semi-conscious during the time at which he was possessing Quirrell's skull, that would theoretically have negated the jinx he placed upon the position 14-16 years prior...
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:44 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:44 PM on September 25, 2016
Am I remembering the first book wrong? I thought Quirrell had been the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for longer than a year because Voldemort was living in his skull.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 7:50 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 7:50 PM on September 25, 2016
omg this conversation is well timed; tomorrow is Quirrell's birthday
According to that Wiki entry, Quirrell was first the Muggle Studies professor at Hogwarts; it was only after he returned from his "sabbatical" that he took the DADA position in September 1991 (aka Harry's first term at Hogwarts).
also please excuse the grammar issues and punctuation errors in this and all my previous posts; verb tenses and I aren't friends right now
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:57 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
According to that Wiki entry, Quirrell was first the Muggle Studies professor at Hogwarts; it was only after he returned from his "sabbatical" that he took the DADA position in September 1991 (aka Harry's first term at Hogwarts).
also please excuse the grammar issues and punctuation errors in this and all my previous posts; verb tenses and I aren't friends right now
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:57 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
Since we're on the subject, one of the afore-mentioned tag rants in TFA claims Tom Riddle jinxed(hexed?) the DADA job after being turned down in 1935 after he graduated, this is incorrect. The jinx (if he actually did jinx it) was placed after his return to Hogwarts many years later when he asked Dumbledore as a pretext to find Ravenclaw's Diadem.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:04 PM on September 25, 2016
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:04 PM on September 25, 2016
I can't speak to the school administration issue but my years of employment at Muggle-run and -staffed enterprises suggests that a roughly 50% rate of incompetence is not that much of a stretch in some sectors.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:25 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 9:25 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
I can't speak to the school administration issue but my years of employment at Muggle-run and -staffed enterprises suggests that a roughly 50% rate of incompetence is not that much of a stretch in some sectors.
Sure, but Hogwarts is 100%.
In the Muggle world, you have to be about 16 to learn how to drive, and even then, you have one to one training (with a professional trainer with a passenger isde brake), theory, testing and certification, and the car has seatbelts, crumple zones and airbags.
But wizards will just throw an 11 year on on a flying machine that has literally no safety mechanisms at all, and then leave them unattended.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Sure, but Hogwarts is 100%.
In the Muggle world, you have to be about 16 to learn how to drive, and even then, you have one to one training (with a professional trainer with a passenger isde brake), theory, testing and certification, and the car has seatbelts, crumple zones and airbags.
But wizards will just throw an 11 year on on a flying machine that has literally no safety mechanisms at all, and then leave them unattended.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:47 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
The Xavier Mansion has a Danger Room though. AKA basically a murder maze. Hogwarts didn't put any students in a murder maze until the 4th book, at least deliberately.
posted by Artw at 9:55 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Artw at 9:55 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Not seeing how this differs from regular schools, to be honest.
Which of course is actually the point - most of us have at least one or two bad teachers of the sort parodied by Hogwarts bit players.
posted by atoxyl at 9:57 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Which of course is actually the point - most of us have at least one or two bad teachers of the sort parodied by Hogwarts bit players.
posted by atoxyl at 9:57 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
The Xavier Mansion has a Danger Room though. AKA basically a murder maze. Hogwarts didn't put any students in a murder maze until the 4th book, at least deliberately.
The whole of Hogwarts is a murder maze. It's riddled with ghosts, so obviously people are dying there, and not in their sleep, considering at least one of them was beheaded. At various times, there's a giant three-headed dog, murder chess, and a giant snake monster in the basement. Soul sucking demons show up at sports games. There's a dark forest full of anti-human centaurs and man-eating giant spiders, where students are sent for detention. The internal structure of the place isn't fixed - it moves around of its own volition. Bullying is rampant, goes entirely unpunished, and literally every student has their own lethal weapon.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:07 PM on September 25, 2016 [15 favorites]
The whole of Hogwarts is a murder maze. It's riddled with ghosts, so obviously people are dying there, and not in their sleep, considering at least one of them was beheaded. At various times, there's a giant three-headed dog, murder chess, and a giant snake monster in the basement. Soul sucking demons show up at sports games. There's a dark forest full of anti-human centaurs and man-eating giant spiders, where students are sent for detention. The internal structure of the place isn't fixed - it moves around of its own volition. Bullying is rampant, goes entirely unpunished, and literally every student has their own lethal weapon.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:07 PM on September 25, 2016 [15 favorites]
Hey, the giant snake monster was there for something like a thousand years and was only a problem twice.
posted by ckape at 10:54 PM on September 25, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by ckape at 10:54 PM on September 25, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by Hermione Granger
Your textual acuity is nothing short of delightful, and I stand aside in anticipation of your greater works. You go, heroine.
posted by mwhybark at 11:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Your textual acuity is nothing short of delightful, and I stand aside in anticipation of your greater works. You go, heroine.
posted by mwhybark at 11:20 PM on September 25, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, comic Hermione is adorable. All hair, scarf, and robe.
posted by ckape at 11:53 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by ckape at 11:53 PM on September 25, 2016 [3 favorites]
I can't speak to the school administration issue but my years of employment at Muggle-run and -staffed enterprises suggests that a roughly 50% rate of incompetence is not that much of a stretch in some sectors.
Sure, but Hogwarts is 100%.
What ? Are you calling Minerva McGonagall incompetent ? GET OUT !!!!
posted by Pendragon at 2:45 AM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Sure, but Hogwarts is 100%.
What ? Are you calling Minerva McGonagall incompetent ? GET OUT !!!!
posted by Pendragon at 2:45 AM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Most of the accusations being made here are nonsense.
Sprout, Flitwick, and McGonagall are all perfectly competent teachers. The DADA teachers are all either people Dumbledore had every reasonable reason to believe were competent, were imposed on him against his will, or were literally desperation hires made because no one else wanted the (cursed) job. And Professor Binns is a boring lecturer? Oh my goodness gracious! There is a high school teacher who is a boring lecturer! Surely such a thing has never been the case at any other high school ever.
So that leaves:
Trelawney. She was NOT hired despite being a fraud -- she was hired specifically because she proved she WASN'T a fraud. Basically, she had an absolutely killer job interview. Then she turned out to be a dud. Oh, well, that happens. As soon as Dumbledore was able to, he replaced her with someone actually competent.
Snape. No question that Snape is a crappy teacher because he plays favorites and unfavorites. But as has been pointed out, he absolutely WAS teaching his Awesome Secret Potion Knowledge. The students got significantly worse at potion making when he left the post, even though Slughorn was an OK by-the-book teacher.
Hagrid. Actually a pretty crappy teacher. The kind of world-class expert who expects everyone else to be as excited about his pet topic as he is, and has no idea what to do when they aren't.
So, one reasonable hiring error that was corrected in the course of the series, one hire who was actually fantastic at communicating knowledge but was inarguably bad at other aspects of teaching, and one hire with appropriate expertise in the field but not nearly enough practical teaching experience.
Man, where did you guys go to high school? That would have been a MASSIVE improvement over mine.
posted by kyrademon at 4:21 AM on September 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
Sprout, Flitwick, and McGonagall are all perfectly competent teachers. The DADA teachers are all either people Dumbledore had every reasonable reason to believe were competent, were imposed on him against his will, or were literally desperation hires made because no one else wanted the (cursed) job. And Professor Binns is a boring lecturer? Oh my goodness gracious! There is a high school teacher who is a boring lecturer! Surely such a thing has never been the case at any other high school ever.
So that leaves:
Trelawney. She was NOT hired despite being a fraud -- she was hired specifically because she proved she WASN'T a fraud. Basically, she had an absolutely killer job interview. Then she turned out to be a dud. Oh, well, that happens. As soon as Dumbledore was able to, he replaced her with someone actually competent.
Snape. No question that Snape is a crappy teacher because he plays favorites and unfavorites. But as has been pointed out, he absolutely WAS teaching his Awesome Secret Potion Knowledge. The students got significantly worse at potion making when he left the post, even though Slughorn was an OK by-the-book teacher.
Hagrid. Actually a pretty crappy teacher. The kind of world-class expert who expects everyone else to be as excited about his pet topic as he is, and has no idea what to do when they aren't.
So, one reasonable hiring error that was corrected in the course of the series, one hire who was actually fantastic at communicating knowledge but was inarguably bad at other aspects of teaching, and one hire with appropriate expertise in the field but not nearly enough practical teaching experience.
Man, where did you guys go to high school? That would have been a MASSIVE improvement over mine.
posted by kyrademon at 4:21 AM on September 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
The Xavier Mansion has a Danger Room though.
With multiple fail-safes that had to be deliberately overridden or disconnected for the students to be in any real danger. Which many of them did, of course, but that was their lookout. (And then there was the time--during Whedon's tenure on one of the books, I think--when it turned out that the Danger Room was actually sentient, but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:28 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
With multiple fail-safes that had to be deliberately overridden or disconnected for the students to be in any real danger. Which many of them did, of course, but that was their lookout. (And then there was the time--during Whedon's tenure on one of the books, I think--when it turned out that the Danger Room was actually sentient, but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:28 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Trelawney. She was NOT hired despite being a fraud -- she was hired specifically because she proved she WASN'T a fraud. Basically, she had an absolutely killer job interview. Then she turned out to be a dud. Oh, well, that happens. As soon as Dumbledore was able to, he replaced her with someone actually competent.
He hired her shortly after Harry's birth. She wasn't aware that she's not a fraud - she's unaware of her true prophecies and doesn't remember them when they happen. She wasn't replaced until what, book 3? He exposed 14 years worth of students to nonsense teaching by an incompetent because he couldn't be bothered with organising witness protection. That is incompetent headmastering.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:37 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
He hired her shortly after Harry's birth. She wasn't aware that she's not a fraud - she's unaware of her true prophecies and doesn't remember them when they happen. She wasn't replaced until what, book 3? He exposed 14 years worth of students to nonsense teaching by an incompetent because he couldn't be bothered with organising witness protection. That is incompetent headmastering.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:37 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
Snape. No question that Snape is a crappy teacher because he plays favorites and unfavorites.
Shape could be a competent teacher if he chose. As it is, he flat out abuses at least 25% of the student body and has done for his entire tenure. And Dumbledore (and McGonnagal, as his deputy) never do a single thing about it. That too is incompetent.
And Binns? Binns is dead. He's boring because he drones on without reacting to the students. He's the wizard equivalent of a taped lecture. Do you think he marks homework? He's non corporeal - he can't hold a quill! Or shows up to staff meetings? Seems unlikely.
And if none of the supposed great wizards of this school notice that wizard Hitler lives on the head of one of their colleagues, well, it's not unreasonable to question their competence. Which is the fun of the books in the first place. If they were competent, our heroic protagonists would have nothing to do.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:42 AM on September 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Shape could be a competent teacher if he chose. As it is, he flat out abuses at least 25% of the student body and has done for his entire tenure. And Dumbledore (and McGonnagal, as his deputy) never do a single thing about it. That too is incompetent.
And Binns? Binns is dead. He's boring because he drones on without reacting to the students. He's the wizard equivalent of a taped lecture. Do you think he marks homework? He's non corporeal - he can't hold a quill! Or shows up to staff meetings? Seems unlikely.
And if none of the supposed great wizards of this school notice that wizard Hitler lives on the head of one of their colleagues, well, it's not unreasonable to question their competence. Which is the fun of the books in the first place. If they were competent, our heroic protagonists would have nothing to do.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:42 AM on September 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
The Unseen University is more productive and organized, and that takes into account its promotion-via-assassination system in the first handful of books.
posted by delfin at 6:28 AM on September 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by delfin at 6:28 AM on September 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
MERLIN’S BEARD MINERVA THIS IS NOT THE FIRST BABY I DROP has been a common exclamation in my household since we first read these comics.
posted by mbrubeck at 8:03 AM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by mbrubeck at 8:03 AM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
if none of the supposed great wizards of this school notice that wizard Hitler lives on the head of one of their colleagues, well, it's not unreasonable to question their competence.
Well, like the utter stupidity of Quiddich, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. None of the people in the Harry Potter universe seem to remember that they're wizards in a world filled with magic.
In a world where invisibility cloaks are a real thing, where polyjuice potion is a real thing, where the Imperius curse is a real thing, where "love" potions are a real thing, where animagi are a real thing, no one seems especially paranoid or even to acknowledge that one of those might be the explanation for odd happenings.
I'm thinking back to the liberation of Buckbeak for example. In a world filled with invisibility and illusions "no one could have set him free, we'd have seen them" is simply not an answer any sane person would accept.
Likewise there don't seem to be many countermeasures deployed or even available. Where's the "make a polyjuiced person glow" spell? Where's the "test if an animal is a real animal or an animagi" spell? Where's the "when someone invisible walks through this door set off a really loud alarm" spell for houses, bathrooms, dorms, etc?
Hell, where are the glasses of true seeing? Surely the sort of enchantment that Mad-Eye used on his namesake mad eye doesn't require you rip an eye out? Can't you just put that on a pair of glasses? And if so, why aren't they more common?
Even just a boring old D&D style Detect Magic spell would be better than what they do in the HP universe.
And the worst part is, none of the wizards or witches seem to ever even consider the possibility of magic being behind odd happenings.
posted by sotonohito at 8:23 AM on September 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
Well, like the utter stupidity of Quiddich, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. None of the people in the Harry Potter universe seem to remember that they're wizards in a world filled with magic.
In a world where invisibility cloaks are a real thing, where polyjuice potion is a real thing, where the Imperius curse is a real thing, where "love" potions are a real thing, where animagi are a real thing, no one seems especially paranoid or even to acknowledge that one of those might be the explanation for odd happenings.
I'm thinking back to the liberation of Buckbeak for example. In a world filled with invisibility and illusions "no one could have set him free, we'd have seen them" is simply not an answer any sane person would accept.
Likewise there don't seem to be many countermeasures deployed or even available. Where's the "make a polyjuiced person glow" spell? Where's the "test if an animal is a real animal or an animagi" spell? Where's the "when someone invisible walks through this door set off a really loud alarm" spell for houses, bathrooms, dorms, etc?
Hell, where are the glasses of true seeing? Surely the sort of enchantment that Mad-Eye used on his namesake mad eye doesn't require you rip an eye out? Can't you just put that on a pair of glasses? And if so, why aren't they more common?
Even just a boring old D&D style Detect Magic spell would be better than what they do in the HP universe.
And the worst part is, none of the wizards or witches seem to ever even consider the possibility of magic being behind odd happenings.
posted by sotonohito at 8:23 AM on September 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
Just take Bertha Jorkins for an example. She works at the Ministry of Magic, admittedly not in a super classified area (Department of Magical Games and Sports), but she's got inside access and is therefore a potential security risk. Especially given that the entire Ministry, from her pointless department to the really dangerous ones, all occupies the same building.
She's a nosy person with an excellent memory and a habit of getting into other people's business.
Then one day, suddenly, she shows up with a memory like a leaky cauldron and acting odd.
Do the wizards say to themselves "hmm, that's odd it looks like Bertha got in the way of a powerful memory charm?"
Nope, they brush it off, shuffle her sideways into the Department for International Magical Cooperation, and just assume that her sudden and drastic change in behavior and personality is nothing important.
And remember, this wasn't long after the threat of Voldemort had faded, oh no. It took place barely a year after the Longbottoms were tortured into insanity by the Lestranges and the son of the man who took Bertha into his department. And no one, from the Aurors on down, seemed to think the sudden and inexplicable shift in Bertha's personality could possibly be sinister.
Aren't there spells to determine if a person's memory has been modified? If not, why not? But even if there aren't spells for that, just paying the slightest bit of attention would fix so many problems.
posted by sotonohito at 8:31 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
She's a nosy person with an excellent memory and a habit of getting into other people's business.
Then one day, suddenly, she shows up with a memory like a leaky cauldron and acting odd.
Do the wizards say to themselves "hmm, that's odd it looks like Bertha got in the way of a powerful memory charm?"
Nope, they brush it off, shuffle her sideways into the Department for International Magical Cooperation, and just assume that her sudden and drastic change in behavior and personality is nothing important.
And remember, this wasn't long after the threat of Voldemort had faded, oh no. It took place barely a year after the Longbottoms were tortured into insanity by the Lestranges and the son of the man who took Bertha into his department. And no one, from the Aurors on down, seemed to think the sudden and inexplicable shift in Bertha's personality could possibly be sinister.
Aren't there spells to determine if a person's memory has been modified? If not, why not? But even if there aren't spells for that, just paying the slightest bit of attention would fix so many problems.
posted by sotonohito at 8:31 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
"test if an animal is a real animal or an animagi" spell
FWIW, I think that one actually exists. Lupin (and Sirius?) performed the transformation spell on Peter Pettigrew late in the third book. Lupin said, "If he is a real rat, it won't hurt him," so it sounds like that spell would be a reasonable test.
I think it's just that the wizards need to have the *suspicion* that a critter might be an animagus before they can deploy the spell--after all, they surely can't go around testing every water beetle that turns up in someone's hair after a swim.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:37 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
FWIW, I think that one actually exists. Lupin (and Sirius?) performed the transformation spell on Peter Pettigrew late in the third book. Lupin said, "If he is a real rat, it won't hurt him," so it sounds like that spell would be a reasonable test.
I think it's just that the wizards need to have the *suspicion* that a critter might be an animagus before they can deploy the spell--after all, they surely can't go around testing every water beetle that turns up in someone's hair after a swim.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:37 AM on September 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
I always thought the extreme incompetence and occasional malice of the teachers was pretty intentional. Same as the Dursleys being absolute monster foster parents who, in a more realistic world, would have left Harry scarred for life but despite Harry being their savior, none of his wizarding friends really notice or intervene or care much that he lives with people who despise him. It reminds me of the adults in Roald Dahl and many other children's books. The adults have to be stupid or absent or evil, simply to give the children an excuse for going on ridiculous adventures that no adult would ever allow a child to go on.
As a child reader, I never found the monstrousness or obliviousness of the adult characters unusual or exceptional, simply because that is how children experience the unfairness or unkindness of adults--the things adults do seem very arbitrary and children are used to living by rules they don't understand. As an adult, empathizing more with the adult characters, you see how absurd so many of their decisions are. But it certainly never bothered me as a kid.
posted by armadillo1224 at 8:50 AM on September 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
As a child reader, I never found the monstrousness or obliviousness of the adult characters unusual or exceptional, simply because that is how children experience the unfairness or unkindness of adults--the things adults do seem very arbitrary and children are used to living by rules they don't understand. As an adult, empathizing more with the adult characters, you see how absurd so many of their decisions are. But it certainly never bothered me as a kid.
posted by armadillo1224 at 8:50 AM on September 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
Well, too be fair, adults in real life make all kinds of irrational and stupid decisions. That's been obvious to me since I was a kid, and it's been born out so many times in my experience of life, I don't find it implausible or odd at all that the Wizarding world, too, is full of distracted, irrational adults whose interior narratives and private agendas collide with their public facing behaviors in ways that seem baffling when viewed from the outside. Even in real life, people's own ideas about what they're doing, their feelings, and conscious and unconscious intentions pretty regularly lead to all kinds of otherwise inscrutably bizarre choices and behaviors.
posted by saulgoodman at 8:58 AM on September 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by saulgoodman at 8:58 AM on September 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Regarding the ability to detect magical effects, I feel like a majority of wizards have no real conception of how magic actually works. Just about every bit of magical literature we see treats magic the way cookbooks treat cooking, with specific spells for specific results. Dumbledore is one major exception, look at how he interacted with the stone wall protecting Voldemort's locket. He was clearly seeing the magic in the wall and correctly deduced what the wall required to open. Wizards like Dumbledore (and presumably Voldemort) who grasp the underlying nature of magic can shape it as they wish, making new spells on the fly and unmaking the traditional spells of others.
I imagine most new spells (like the ones Snape invented) come about from intuition rather than firm understanding of how magic works, although Snape's grasp of the underlying principles of potion making could hint he was more powerful than he seemed. Most magic users avoid the whole area since it's dangerous, as Luna's mother demonstrated by blowing herself up in the process of designing a new spell.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:23 AM on September 26, 2016 [16 favorites]
I imagine most new spells (like the ones Snape invented) come about from intuition rather than firm understanding of how magic works, although Snape's grasp of the underlying principles of potion making could hint he was more powerful than he seemed. Most magic users avoid the whole area since it's dangerous, as Luna's mother demonstrated by blowing herself up in the process of designing a new spell.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 9:23 AM on September 26, 2016 [16 favorites]
Wizards like Dumbledore (and presumably Voldemort) who grasp the underlying nature of magic can shape it as they wish, making new spells on the fly and unmaking the traditional spells of others.
This could also be the very thing that makes them exceptional/powerful wizards.
posted by INFJ at 10:04 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
This could also be the very thing that makes them exceptional/powerful wizards.
posted by INFJ at 10:04 AM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Hogwarts (and the Wizarding World) sit uncomfortably at the intersection of Serious Worldbulding(tm) and the secondary-world morality tales of Oz, Wonderland, Narnia, Never Never Land, and Wonka's Factory. The second category of fantasy worlds don't make a lot of sense except as a vehicle for creating conflicts for the protagonist. For that matter, some worlds that get put into the the first category are better read in the second (Middle Earth). So, many of the problems of bad teachers and administrators get cranked up to 11 for the purpose of giving Mr. Potter and company fantastic drama.
Now to me, Rowling's writing demonstrates the some of the same kind of contempt for contemporary education that you find from Lewis. But it's shallow and secondary to the purpose of giving Harry, Ron, and Hermione a set of problems to figure out.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 10:05 AM on September 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
Now to me, Rowling's writing demonstrates the some of the same kind of contempt for contemporary education that you find from Lewis. But it's shallow and secondary to the purpose of giving Harry, Ron, and Hermione a set of problems to figure out.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 10:05 AM on September 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
My headcanon is that brooms do have some kind of safety charms built-in and they're actually very hard to fall off, and they have proximity sensors/wards that automatically avoid crashing into walls and such. It's what you put two-year-old wizarding kids on, like a self-powered stroller... it floats around the garden and eventually meanders back into the kitchen where the kid hovers while demanding a cookie.
Harry, raised by Muggles, doesn't know this, and thinks he's in much more danger than he is. His real talent is in convincing the broom to go as high and fast as it does, and get as close to buildings and other obstacles as it can - he's unsafe because he's either powerful enough or talented enough to circumvent the basic safety of the device. (Which is what makes quidditch stars special - brooms aren't inherently dangerous, but only those who can short-circuit the safeties can fly fast enough and close enough to other players to make the sport entertaining.)
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 11:53 AM on September 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Harry, raised by Muggles, doesn't know this, and thinks he's in much more danger than he is. His real talent is in convincing the broom to go as high and fast as it does, and get as close to buildings and other obstacles as it can - he's unsafe because he's either powerful enough or talented enough to circumvent the basic safety of the device. (Which is what makes quidditch stars special - brooms aren't inherently dangerous, but only those who can short-circuit the safeties can fly fast enough and close enough to other players to make the sport entertaining.)
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 11:53 AM on September 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'll contradict myself and say that Middle Earth does have a systematic logic under it, however it's religious/philosophical and has not a thing to do with economics, class, or history as commonly understood.
Harry Potter starts off very character-focused and then tries to become a metaphor for cultural prejudice, and I don't think it manages that shift well.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 12:59 PM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Harry Potter starts off very character-focused and then tries to become a metaphor for cultural prejudice, and I don't think it manages that shift well.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 12:59 PM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Guys, you know how Harry has that memory of his parents dying, even though he shouldn't remember because he was only a baby?
I just realized that with the horcrux, it could be Voldemort's worst memory instead. He did die that night, after all, and isn't death his greatest fear?
posted by Trifling at 3:27 PM on September 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
I just realized that with the horcrux, it could be Voldemort's worst memory instead. He did die that night, after all, and isn't death his greatest fear?
posted by Trifling at 3:27 PM on September 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
The Xavier Mansion has a Danger Room though.
With multiple fail-safes that had to be deliberately overridden or disconnected for the students to be in any real danger.
I haven't gotten into the X-Men comics, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that these work about as well as the holodeck safeties in Star Trek?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:08 PM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
With multiple fail-safes that had to be deliberately overridden or disconnected for the students to be in any real danger.
I haven't gotten into the X-Men comics, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that these work about as well as the holodeck safeties in Star Trek?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:08 PM on September 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
"To be honest, when I told people I wanted to become a 'head master,' I was thinking of something very different."
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:50 PM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:50 PM on September 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
I haven't gotten into the X-Men comics, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that these work about as well as the holodeck safeties in Star Trek?
Generally a bit better, at least when I was still reading the book on a regular basis (up until about the mid-eighties). At least up through then, it wasn't used for recreational purposes, which is where most of the holodeck malfunctions occur in Trek. After it gained sentience and became a character with a robot body, named "Danger", it caused some problems for the X-Men, in part because it was revealed that Professor X had kept it enslaved after he found out that it was sentient.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:51 PM on September 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
Generally a bit better, at least when I was still reading the book on a regular basis (up until about the mid-eighties). At least up through then, it wasn't used for recreational purposes, which is where most of the holodeck malfunctions occur in Trek. After it gained sentience and became a character with a robot body, named "Danger", it caused some problems for the X-Men, in part because it was revealed that Professor X had kept it enslaved after he found out that it was sentient.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:51 PM on September 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous.
SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:11 AM on September 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:11 AM on September 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
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update: my die-hard dumbledore and snape fan dad is not amused by this AT ALL
he also doesn't understand bro jokes but I don't know how to explain those so oh well not everything can be funny to you, dad
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:28 PM on September 25, 2016 [6 favorites]