like The Rock in Fast & Furious 7, only with much more crying

September 28, 2016 12:48 PM

"Summer is the time for sunshine, sudsy brews and sandwiches of the hot dog variety. And of course, that classic game. The sport of kings. Baseball. What better way to celebrate America’s pastime than that classic sportswriter trope of visiting all 30 MLB parks in 30 days. Crossing the country, seeing the sights and catching a ballgame or two along the way. My trusty editor set up an itinerary and sent me on my way. What wonders will I encounter and valuable lessons will I learn along the way? Let’s find out as I embark on this adventure into America’s pastime!" -- A tribute to the great parks by the inimitable Ethan Booker
posted by Potomac Avenue (7 comments total)

sandwiches of the hot dog variety

In many university philosophy depts as well as in the kitchens of major restaurants and in and around ballparks and school cafeterias, there are serious discussions taking place: Is the hot dog merely a hot dog or is it a form of sandwhich? Trump has said he would address that issue soon, and Hillary said she has been eating hotdogs for some 30 years as a public servant and she knows a hotdog from a sandwhich. Christie chimed in and said "Call it what you will. I want ten of them right now."
posted by Postroad at 1:42 PM on September 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

I really like you Postroad I'm glad we are friends.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:44 PM on September 28, 2016

Quite a twist at the end.
posted by GuyZero at 1:46 PM on September 28, 2016

By building a makeshift canoe out of discarded Boston Pizza boxes and floating from Lake Ontario, down Niagara Falls into Lake Erie directly towards that “Mistake by the Lake” and the next stop on my fearless journey, Cleveland.

I can't tell if it's a mistake or intentional but going from Lake Ontario to Lake Erie would involve floating *up* Niagara Falls.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 2:34 PM on September 28, 2016

I taught a flock of Canadian geese to sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” and while they don’t sing it very well, they sure as hell bite!

*gentle laughter* They do, Ethan. They sure as hell do.
posted by maryr at 3:22 PM on September 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Is baseball really "the sport of kings"? I thought that was horse racing (or Khatru, if you're Siberian.)
posted by newdaddy at 12:02 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Postroad's comment was funnier than the linked piece. Postroad, if I was an editor you would be in the on-deck circle!
posted by wenestvedt at 3:26 AM on September 29, 2016