New approach to greenspace

October 7, 2016 12:02 PM

Move Over, Rats. New York Is Planning an Underground Park. If you can't build it out or up, then for fuck's sake build it below.
posted by strelitzia (27 comments total)

The best article I've read about the Lowline is this one:
Digging the LowLine

The LowLine’s crusade to carve a park from an underutilized corner of belowground transit infrastructure is an innovative solution to a persistent problem: Community parks are a public good, and the Lower East Side is a neighborhood severely lacking in green space. The LowLine could be a subterranean respite in a neighborhood where real estate prices on the surface are inhospitable to the idea. What seems left unconsidered, however, is how it would fit into the future of a changing Lower East Side — and whose priorities “the world’s first underground park” would service.

posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:13 PM on October 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Soon New Yorkers will move entirely underground and eagerly await the arrival of tasty tasty Eloi.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:21 PM on October 7, 2016 [11 favorites]

Below Delancey, so probably safe from the rising tides and swells.

Or, the city's largest salt water swimming pool.
posted by IndigoJones at 12:27 PM on October 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

More like "move in, rats!" At least that's been the case in Gowanus after they dug up the streets to put in new drainage pipes. The mouse population in our apartment has gone up by like 500%.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:28 PM on October 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Look, we KNOW this is going to end up as a YA dystopic novel where the heroine eventually escapes to the ruined city above. We might as well cut out the preliminary steps.
posted by happyroach at 1:00 PM on October 7, 2016 [9 favorites]

That looks pretty nice. It seems like this would be a nice addition to traditional parks especially in the winter. I really like the use of those skylight pipe things. It's such a great idea and I wonder why they're not used more.

When it falls into disuse the mutants from Futurama will have a nice start for their city. There is of course this problem..
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 1:05 PM on October 7, 2016

And here I was thinking it would make a great location for a post-apocalyptic LARP. Or maybe a dystopian Logan's Run type thing.
posted by Karmakaze at 1:13 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

If we're going to associate this with dystopian sci fi, I'm going to go with Beneath the Planet of the Apes, and plan to move an atom bomb down there to worship when I become an irradiated mutant.
posted by maxsparber at 1:35 PM on October 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Don't underground parks already exist under the moniker "shopping malls"? Are New Yorkers anti capitalist sensibilities so strong the the sight of an Orange Juliuis while having a winter stroll out of the weather gives them the vapours?
posted by Keith Talent at 1:40 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Southerners get the vapours. New Yorkers get the oh fuck Louie I think I'm passing the fuck outs.
posted by maxsparber at 1:49 PM on October 7, 2016 [12 favorites]

We visited the prototype space over the summer - it's tiny but makes the overall scheme seem really doable - there are even food plants growing (including some adorable pineapples!) They also sell a really cool t-shirt.
posted by Mchelly at 2:00 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

The idea developed from the High Line...that has become very popular and has caused a development in buildings and eateries close to it. That and the underground one are also nice in keeping people safe from traffic...NY gets nicer and nicer...and this will be free in a city where things get costlier and clostlier
posted by Postroad at 2:05 PM on October 7, 2016

But, seriously, this thing is going to be crawling with rats.
posted by schmod at 2:29 PM on October 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

But, seriously, this thing is going to be crawling with rats.

Post-apocalyptic dystopian mutant rats munching on claw-licking Eloi.
posted by strelitzia at 2:41 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

All of my favorite unwritten post-apocalyptic novels will henceforth feature an Orange Julius in the Lowline.
posted by thivaia at 2:45 PM on October 7, 2016

I found an artist's rendition
posted by indubitable at 2:52 PM on October 7, 2016

Fuckin' developers, gentrifying the neighbourhood right out from under the turtles and CHUDs.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:04 PM on October 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

NY gets nicer and nicer...and this will be free in a city where things get costlier and clostlier

Of course, getting nicer and nicer is one major reason things are getting costlier. Not that there's an easy solution to that...
posted by alexei at 3:07 PM on October 7, 2016

I only went to the High Line once. Ugh. It's usually absolutely choked with visitors, bless. Now that The Whitney is nearby, there's even more people down that way. And, of course, there are the exhibitionists who've rented nearby high-floor hotel rooms.

If the Low Line actually comes into being, I will probably only visit it once. Preferably accompanied by my own private Snake Plissken.
posted by droplet at 3:46 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Dr. Zaius warned us about this.
posted by clavdivs at 4:18 PM on October 7, 2016

This is in Williamsburg? So of course they tried fucking hop plants. This is clearly all about the IPA.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 4:43 PM on October 7, 2016

But, seriously, this thing is going to be crawling with rats.

It's called wildlife.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 4:54 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

... would like to request that, moving forward, we make it a site rule that all FPPs have to start with the sentence "Move over, rats"

I have no idea how these people got rats wedged into their scanners, or why.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:55 PM on October 7, 2016

"Move over, rats" recalls the old "Move over, bacon, now there's something meatier!" Sizzlean campaign and now all of you have to think it, too.
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:08 PM on October 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

I hope there is some sort of community consultation in the design of this park.

It should be more than just a patch of green! Everyone should be able to enjoy this space, be they Morlock, or Atomic Bomb Cultist, or Street Dance Crew, or Rat King, or Silver Guy Who Pretends to be a Robot, or Actual Silver Robot, or C.H.U.D., or Escapee from Alpha Habitat Creche #4, or Baseball Fury, or Schwaggy Dime Bag Dude, or Yuppie Parent, or Bike Messenger, or Poor Sister of Valerie Solanas, or Halal Cart Vendor, or Master of the Flying Guillotine, or People Practicing That Fire Twirling Thing, or Skater Kid, or Combat Vogue Squad, or Chess Hustler, or Regular Hustler, or Time-Traveling Starfleet Officer, or Old Person Doing Tai Chi.

This should be a park for all of NEW YORK CITY!


Except Giuliani. Because fuck that guy.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:44 PM on October 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

So of course they tried fucking hop plants. This is clearly all about the IPA.


If you're fucking the hops, you've probably already moved well beyond West Coast APAs- I don't even know what to call that, or how many IBUs to give it.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:48 PM on October 7, 2016

Oh god they're really going ahead with this? A park that's going to continually flood with a roof that has to be maintained? That requires a ventilation system running 24/7 to avoid becoming an exotic mold mine? Say what you like about the High Line, but it's not running up a massive electrical bill.
posted by phooky at 7:09 PM on October 7, 2016