Ride or die, remember?

April 13, 2017 10:02 AM

How does Fate of the Furious stack up against the rest of the franchise? And now they've done one with a tank and one with a submarine and one that's in Japan but set 10 years after it was filmed and one where a man in his 30s is a teenager from that movie where can the franchise go next? Space, maybe. [contains spoilers, nitro, shots that zoom through the engine of a car in motion]
posted by Artw (55 comments total)

See Bloomberg's "Stats of the Furious"

(#5 had the most hugs)
posted by sammyo at 10:27 AM on April 13, 2017 [6 favorites]

It’s the first of a planned three-film trilogy to close out the franchise at 10 films.

If Furious 10 isn't called The Last of the Fur10us, I hereby turn in my feathered and bejewelled movie-predictions turban.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:36 AM on April 13, 2017 [31 favorites]

Going into space makes no damn sense (yeah that doesn't matter for this franchise). Go to the Moon, imagine what kind of neat stunts could be done in a low gravity environment. Think of the sexy space suits!

If the film insists on bikini shots, then head to Venus, it's warm there.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:03 AM on April 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

In a better, Michael Bay-less timeline, the obvious thing to do is a Transformers crossover.

"Family is the real energon, Megatron!"
posted by Drastic at 11:07 AM on April 13, 2017 [9 favorites]

A recent MBMBAM episode suggested a crossover between the The Fast and the Furious franchise and the Transformers franchise, with the cast of The Fast and the Furious driving the Transformers around. If the Fast guys got to direct and produce it (and if it was treated as non-canonical) then I would be 100% down.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:07 AM on April 13, 2017 [5 favorites]

HEY SO, I hear that these movie start totally ruling at some point but that the earliest ones are kind of bog-standard action movies. Where would you guys recommend I start with them? (Or should I just watch 'em all?)
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:09 AM on April 13, 2017

> If the Fast guys got to direct and produce it (and if it was treated as non-canonical) then I would be 100% down.

Michael Bay's been making Transformers movies for a decade and you're worried about it straying out of canon?
posted by ardgedee at 11:11 AM on April 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

Why oh why is this movie's title NOT written as The F8 of the Furious ?
posted by sapagan at 11:11 AM on April 13, 2017 [11 favorites]

I'd avoided the franchise completely until I found myself sitting on the couch at a friend's house last .. July? and Furious 7 was on the TV. It was extremely enjoyable in a "popcorn action flick" sorta way.
posted by mrbill at 11:12 AM on April 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Where would you guys recommend I start with them? (Or should I just watch 'em all?)

Number five is where the truly unexpected phase transition into ridiculous dumb awesome happened. One through four are eminently skippable. I mean, there's callbacks to them, but it's not like this is a series where you can't quickly figure out what's going on and who this or that person generally is. It's not exactly layered!
posted by Drastic at 11:14 AM on April 13, 2017 [4 favorites]

HEY SO, I hear that these movie start totally ruling at some point but that the earliest ones are kind of bog-standard action movies. Where would you guys recommend I start with them? (Or should I just watch 'em all?)

I've been running the series for the first time after spending the better part of the last 15 years fairly/unfairly turning my nose up at them. It turns out that the first movie is indeed a very dumb riff on Point Break, but the second one is actually an enjoyably dumb riff on '80s buddy-cop movies (Lethal Weapon, 48 Hours) and it's where I started enjoying myself with the series.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:17 AM on April 13, 2017

HEY SO, I hear that these movie start totally ruling at some point but that the earliest ones are kind of bog-standard action movies. Where would you guys recommend I start with them? (Or should I just watch 'em all?)

Watch Fast Five. If you don't like it, just stop altogether. If you liked it, go back and watch them in order, and yes that means you get to watch F5 again, you lucky duck.
posted by joelhunt at 11:17 AM on April 13, 2017 [11 favorites]

> Number five is where the truly unexpected phase transition into ridiculous dumb awesome happened.

Apparently I was not as struck by the Dogme 95-esque realism of "Fast & Furious 3: Tokyo Drift" in the same way you had been.
posted by ardgedee at 11:19 AM on April 13, 2017 [5 favorites]

I am against A Transformers crossover on the grounds that Transformers is shite.
posted by Artw at 11:19 AM on April 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

HEY SO, I hear that these movie start totally ruling at some point but that the earliest ones are kind of bog-standard action movies. Where would you guys recommend I start with them? (Or should I just watch 'em all?)

The first link in this post is a good synopsis of movies ranked as movies, whereas the second link has it ordered by (in-movie) timeline.

I think a lot of the charm people find in the franchise has been growing up along with the movies--watching them evolve from a niche racer story set entirely in LA to a multinational crime/heist/action films. The way the characters change (or don't) over the course of 16 years is a big part of the appeal. So I would personally say watch the first one first, skip the next two unless you want the whole experience and then maybe pick up again at 5, or maybe even 4.
posted by danny the boy at 11:21 AM on April 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

Tokyo Drift is the one where a bad teenager is punished for being bad by being made to go live in Japan, which as far as I can tell is still a place all teenagers are obsessed with as the land of awesome. He then sulks about it.
posted by Artw at 11:21 AM on April 13, 2017 [6 favorites]

Also, as I said in the last thread, and I will until F&F 10, I am still mad that they didn't find some way to resurrect Han. I want more Han and Gisele >:(
posted by danny the boy at 11:23 AM on April 13, 2017 [11 favorites]

I make no assumptions.
posted by Artw at 11:25 AM on April 13, 2017

Han and Gisele should really just stroll casually back into scene, perhaps with a scoffing "what, something car-related is going to kill us? Please." That's the only explanation needed.
posted by Drastic at 11:26 AM on April 13, 2017 [13 favorites]

if they do the Riddick crossover, it has to be "the Fast and the Furion" or this is just all horrible nonsense.
posted by gorestainedrunes at 11:27 AM on April 13, 2017 [13 favorites]

Why oh why is this movie's title NOT written as The F8 of the Furious ?

It kind of already is: The only reason the word "fate" even turns up in the title is because of the crazy numbering/titling conventions of the films. And the "F8" shortening turns up in a bunch of the film's advertising art, so it's definitely in the semantic sauce.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:27 AM on April 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

would this be a good place to dump all my Fast & The Furious/Turbo Teen crossover fanfic? 9 gb .tar
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:27 AM on April 13, 2017 [7 favorites]

It kind of already is: The only reason the word "fate" even turns up in the title is because of the crazy numbering/titling conventions of the films.

See? They let you figure it out for yourself. It's clever.
posted by Artw at 11:28 AM on April 13, 2017 [6 favorites]

Tokyo Drift is also the one where the bad teen attains the dubious distinction of running for worst actor in a franchise headlined by Vin Diesel. (To be clear to anyone not catching jokes about silly chronology of these things, "number five" as entry point refers to the one where the gang goes to Brazil, flirts with having a heist movie, but then decides the best heist movie is to murder both the entire Rio police force (it's okay, all but one of them are corrupt) and physics itself in a car chase.)
posted by Drastic at 11:30 AM on April 13, 2017 [6 favorites]

close out the franchise at 10 films

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts
posted by straight at 11:31 AM on April 13, 2017 [66 favorites]

I don't see why the franchise can't crossover with Furiousa AND Riddick.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:36 AM on April 13, 2017 [5 favorites]

Oh! But one last thing about Tokyo Drift. As much good-natured ribbing as I give it (it's still invited to barbecue. It's family), it's probably in large part responsible for Overdrift, so the world is improved by its causal successor chain.
posted by Drastic at 11:36 AM on April 13, 2017

Part of why I want Han back certainly is that in a famously multi-racial cast, we lost the only Asian person... on a street racing crew...

But also I needed to see that couple anchor what is otherwise a bunch of movies that is ABOUT chaotic pro wrestling style relationship reversals. Like starting out at first with your standard cop/criminal frenemy dynamics and snowballing into a crazy soap opera of betrayals, deaths, resurrections, amnesia, etc.

I feel like the films need like a stable core, like an aunt and uncle that are there and always will be even though your parents keep splitting up and getting back together. I mean when Dom discovers that Letty is still alive, Elena (the woman he spent the entire previous movie developing a relationship with, the one he's been living with since) is just like... "ah that's cool, I'm out, peace"
posted by danny the boy at 11:38 AM on April 13, 2017 [4 favorites]

Number five is where the truly unexpected phase transition into ridiculous dumb awesome happened.

Yes, but the opening scene of #4 is at least right at the triple point.
posted by straight at 11:46 AM on April 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Just watch all of them whilst drinking.
posted by Artw at 11:47 AM on April 13, 2017 [4 favorites]

I've always wanted to see this franchise take a left-turn into documentary. Out of nowhere, just cap off the series with a Herzog film. It would be called "Speed and Fury," and prominently feature revealing interviews with folks from Oakland's Sideshow scene, highlighting their humanity, anti-authoritarianism, and pursuit of personal freedom through car culture. Leave everybody scratching their heads, then drop the mic on the whole affair.

Also there would be clips of folks sick donuts on 880.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 11:50 AM on April 13, 2017 [14 favorites]

I enjoyed all of them way more than I expected, even given that I love Vin Diesel. And did I cry at the last one? Ugly cried, you bet.
posted by rtha at 12:08 PM on April 13, 2017

Why oh why is this movie's title NOT written as The F8 of the Furious ?

There's no safe mode on The Streets.
posted by mobunited at 12:11 PM on April 13, 2017 [22 favorites]

The Night Before Fast & Furious, by Demi Adejuyigbe
posted by numaner at 12:16 PM on April 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

The first movie is better than it could have been by a mile, but is still comfortable with being just ok. It's not deeply flawed, it just doesn't set out to do very much.

The second movie is a mess, redeemed only by Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson -- the latter of whom is quite the gifted comic actor.

The third movie, to my eye, is a complete disaster. Don't even watch it, just read the plot summary on Wikipedia. Others (I am forced to admit) may feel differently.

The fourth movie is the first one to really feature the ensemble cast which is the essential delight of the franchise. The plot is …weak, but on balance there's plenty to like. This is where they really stop being movies about street racing and start being movies about a heist team where every single problem can be solved by driving, but the transition is kind of a bumpy one.

With the fifth movie, though? That transition is complete, and it is AWESOME. From #5 on, the franchise is like a blue collar multi-ethnic vigilante James Bond thing, and I fucking love it.

My recommendation is to watch the first two and the fourth while you're doing something else, like folding laundry or something, skipping the third. Then settle in for 5-7 and whoop it up.
posted by KathrynT at 12:35 PM on April 13, 2017 [10 favorites]

Lots of other rankings and series entry recommendations in this thread from a few months ago.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 1:06 PM on April 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

I'm super excited about F8 but also nervous. It won't feel the same without Paul Walker, and I'm worried based on trailer and some early reviews about how they handle a certain returning character that seems like might be added to the team but who everybody should be gunning to kill at every possible opportunity.
posted by kmz at 1:11 PM on April 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

A recent MBMBAM episode suggested a crossover between the The Fast and the Furious franchise and the Transformers franchise, with the cast of The Fast and the Furious driving the Transformers around.

Ah, but the true apex is when you also add the Linklater Before trilogy into the mix!
posted by kmz at 1:12 PM on April 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

Maybe they can do a crossover with Archer and the street racing scene with Pam as the White Pumpkin. Plus we'd get George Takei as the heavy!!!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:14 PM on April 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

Oh! Also, this is a much more niche thing, but if you have a premium Giant Bomb membership, absolutely do not miss the recent podcast/commentary series they've been doing with all the F&F movies.
posted by kmz at 1:14 PM on April 13, 2017

Going into space makes no damn sense

It would be eclipsed by the fourth installment in the Leprechaun series anyway, so as you suggest, the Moon is probably better.
posted by Dr. Twist at 2:05 PM on April 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

For someone who watched the series as they released and witnessed its transformation in realtime, it's hard to say how to binge watch them as a neophyte. Also, no one has mentioned that Better Luck Tomorrow should be considered part of the viewing list.

With that in mind, here's my Machete-order style list:

First watch these three in this order:
1. The Fast and the Furious
2. Fast and Furious
3. Fast Five

Now take a break because Fast Five was way too awesome. After a walk around the block, sit back down and consider: if you liked Ludacris' Tej and Tyrese Gibson's Roman characters, go ahead and watch the second film in the franchise:

4. 2Fast 2Furious

Otherwise skip it. Note: Watching 2Fast 2Furious could seriously turn you off, so try to remember that eventually the franchise got to Fast Five so keep your chin up.

If Sung Kang's Han was appealing, watch these three next:

5. Better Luck Tomorrow
6. Los Bandoleros (Vimeo of the 20 minute short film)
7. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Otherwise move on to the remaining two movies. Potential bonus: Better Luck Tomorrow features John Cho in a prominent role.

8. Fast and Furious 6
9. Furious 7

Note: Watching Fast and Furious 6 right after Tokyo Drift is temporally reversed but I think it has a better impact this way.
posted by linux at 2:41 PM on April 13, 2017 [7 favorites]

The only redeeming thing about this... "series," I guess, is Matt Schulze in a beard. I had to watch a couple of these with one of our teenage sons and I consider it the Caillou of teen cinema. Just kill it. Kill it hard.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 3:36 PM on April 13, 2017

The only redeeming thing about this... "series," I guess, is Matt Schulze in a beard.

Do you... not believe it to be a series? That is a bold stance. One I think I'm going to have to mull over.

*joelhunt stands in front of a curtained window, moonlight streaming over his craggy face. He looks wistfully over the horizon, and raises a glistening Corona to his lips using a sipping technique that has never ever been used by an actual human.*

hashtag familia
posted by joelhunt at 4:27 PM on April 13, 2017 [21 favorites]

I just went through the whole series to catch up. The last time I saw any of them, it was the first one during its original theatrical run. They're sort of a delight, and I attribute that binge to helping the new Thor trailer go down extra smooth.

The Rock flexing his way out of a cast is the series' high water mark in terms of sheer economy. Like, tanks on a highway, and missile drones, and an amnesia subplot and all that stuff is great and all, but they take a lot of time to communicate the same basic message, which is whatever message you'd take from The Rock flexing his way out of a cast, gobbling a handful of Oxy, and earnestly telling his little daughter, "daddy's gotta go to work."
posted by mph at 6:39 PM on April 13, 2017 [7 favorites]

Oh you have to watch the first one for the 90s LA feels. It's got, like, 10 "welcome to the OC bitch" beat downs plus souped up Golf GTIs and girls in great big stompy boots. It's like a much worse movie version of Fastlane and I love it.
posted by fshgrl at 10:22 PM on April 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

The third movie, to my eye, is a complete disaster. Don't even watch it

KathrynT is off my Christmas card list.

Tokyo Drift, as I've said (many, many times) is the best of the bunch, followed by 6, 7, 5, 1, 4, then 2. What the rest of the series does for believable physics, 3 does that to believable physics and the concept of Japan as a real place that exists. It's gloriously, stupidly impossible, in all the right ways. It's got Han, it's got Sonny Chiba, and having watched it recently with Mrs. Ghidorah, it's surprisingly full of Japanese actors in bit parts in ways that a lot of other "set in Japan" films really fail at. It's the stupidest, funnest movie in the whole stupid fun series.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:00 PM on April 13, 2017 [8 favorites]

Tokyo Drift is good*, don't watch Two it's bad and awful, Han can't come back to the series because he has the important conflicting arrangement of being my boyfriend and it just hurts him too much to pretend to be dating someone else. Why would you wish that on him.

ALSO HIS NAME IS HAN SEOULO and this hasn't yet been mentioned in the thread so I am remedying it.

Seriously though, the series is so fun and enjoyable (except two), it really is worth your time.

*I mean the main character is the fucking goddamn worst but it's still an enjoyable movie
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:30 AM on April 14, 2017 [2 favorites]

*I mean the main character is the fucking goddamn worst but it's still an enjoyable movie

BUT FAMILY
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:59 AM on April 14, 2017 [4 favorites]

Tokyo Drift, as I've said (many, many times) is the best of the bunch, followed by 6, 7, 5, 1, 4, then 2. What the rest of the series does for believable physics, 3 does that to believable physics and the concept of Japan as a real place that exists. It's gloriously, stupidly impossible, in all the right ways. It's got Han, it's got Sonny Chiba, and having watched it recently with Mrs. Ghidorah, it's surprisingly full of Japanese actors in bit parts in ways that a lot of other "set in Japan" films really fail at. It's the stupidest, funnest movie in the whole stupid fun series.

I personally like Tokyo Drift and if I were to look at the seven FF movies and rank them, it would be Fast Five, The Fast and the Furious, AND THEN TOKYO DRIFT. Tokyo Drift is most definitely the best when it comes to actual racing. Sure, it involves a white kid from Texas ending up being the best racer, but I chalk that up to Han being a Mr. Miyagi-level mentor.
posted by linux at 9:54 AM on April 14, 2017 [1 favorite]

My review! TL;DR: It's a solid installment with one major problem.
posted by brundlefly at 10:55 AM on April 14, 2017

don't watch Two it's bad and awful

I'm sorry but nothing with my bf Tyrese could ever be described as bad and awful. It's not great but it's worth it for the parts where Roman and Brian do ridiculous stuff and then giggle together. Totally worth it.
posted by fshgrl at 7:42 PM on April 14, 2017

Modest Proposal For A ‘John Wick’/’Fast & Furious’ Crossover Movie
posted by Artw at 11:16 PM on April 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

I'd be fine with him popping in to kill Hobbs, alright. The Rock kind of ruins the movies for me a bit. Everyone else is at least trying to play it straight and he's camping it up.
posted by fshgrl at 12:05 AM on April 19, 2017

Fast and Furious Producers Tease Justice For Han
posted by Artw at 8:41 AM on April 22, 2017