"Right, sir. I'll just be standing over here dozing off."
August 23, 2018 4:19 PM Subscribe
The Myth of the Bored Transporter Chief: A speculative fan-analysis rebuttal of the popular conception that Chief O'Brien had the most mind-numbing, soul-crushing job on the Enterprise-D.
Courtesy of the Daystrom Institute subreddit, where they could overthink a food replicator full of beans.
(Previously on MeFi)
(Previously on MeFi)
One of the many reasons Deep Space 9, aka Dad Trek, is the best Trek is because Chief O'Brien got treated like a human.
posted by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on August 23, 2018
posted by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on August 23, 2018
I never really got the idea that O'Brien stood around on the transporter deck all day. You occasionally see him relieve his juniors when there's something really important to transport, like Riker's Beard.
As a side note, can someone explain the "only the most distinguished of civil servants" reference at the end? I apparently do not watch the right kinds of TV shows. Nor did googling that bring up anything other than this article.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:43 PM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
As a side note, can someone explain the "only the most distinguished of civil servants" reference at the end? I apparently do not watch the right kinds of TV shows. Nor did googling that bring up anything other than this article.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:43 PM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
What if the transporter guy just gave up on pushing the bars halfway through? Or like what if he sneezed?
Boring or not boring, the transporter operators very literally hold everyone's life in their hands.
posted by GuyZero at 4:54 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Boring or not boring, the transporter operators very literally hold everyone's life in their hands.
posted by GuyZero at 4:54 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
jacquilynne, I thought that was a "Yes, Minister" nod.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:10 PM on August 23, 2018
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:10 PM on August 23, 2018
But in battle, you need to know, through experience, precisely when and where you can cut corners, disable safeties, ignore defective equipment. When your away team is deep inside a Klingon base, and half of your transporter emitters have been damaged by stray pieces of the remains of deck 23, it does you no good to have the computer tell you “Transport is not safe under these conditions. Please repair the transporters. Estimated time for automated repair: Fourteen hours.”
I think this is a really good point. Kind of like how today how commercial jets kind of fly themselves to an extent and the pilot is there to watch it and make sure everything is ok and step in if needed. But if they made it 100% automated then the transporter operators wouldn't have enough experience to deal with emergencies. So it's not 100% automated.
posted by bleep at 5:13 PM on August 23, 2018 [21 favorites]
I think this is a really good point. Kind of like how today how commercial jets kind of fly themselves to an extent and the pilot is there to watch it and make sure everything is ok and step in if needed. But if they made it 100% automated then the transporter operators wouldn't have enough experience to deal with emergencies. So it's not 100% automated.
posted by bleep at 5:13 PM on August 23, 2018 [21 favorites]
The character in television who had it worst, I think, was John Tracy of Thunderbirds - who must know, but can never betray that (however loving and friendly they may seem) his family and his father in particular hate him so much that they force him to spend his life on a space station orbiting the earth with nothing to do but monitor news feeds which, let's be blunt, you could do anywhere. He could do it from the sun loungers on Tracy Island. But oh, no, it's very important they shoot him into space, poor fucker.
posted by Grangousier at 5:13 PM on August 23, 2018 [18 favorites]
posted by Grangousier at 5:13 PM on August 23, 2018 [18 favorites]
What if the transporter guy just gave up on pushing the bars halfway through? Or like what if he sneezed?
What we got back didn't live long, fortunately.
posted by biffa at 5:35 PM on August 23, 2018 [17 favorites]
What we got back didn't live long, fortunately.
posted by biffa at 5:35 PM on August 23, 2018 [17 favorites]
The character in television who had it worst, I think, was John Tracy of Thunderbirds
Allegedly, the story I heard, Gerry Anderson hated that particular marionette and decided to put him on the space station so he wouldn't have to deal with it.
posted by Ashwagandha at 5:44 PM on August 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
Allegedly, the story I heard, Gerry Anderson hated that particular marionette and decided to put him on the space station so he wouldn't have to deal with it.
posted by Ashwagandha at 5:44 PM on August 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
Transporter chief would be a great job! Think of all the reading and dicking around on the internet you could get done! You could sing, or dance, or talk to yourself to your heart's content. And if you're a guy you don't need to walk to the bathroom cause you can just pee into the beam!
Of course, the damn transporter is so unreliable you'd probably spend most of your shift doing repairs and running safety checks. Maybe they should have Holodeck chiefs, too.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:47 PM on August 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
Of course, the damn transporter is so unreliable you'd probably spend most of your shift doing repairs and running safety checks. Maybe they should have Holodeck chiefs, too.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:47 PM on August 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
One of my favorite daydreams is that I find myself alone aboard Kirk's Enterprise, fully operational in earth orbit. Would I be able to figure out how to operate the ship? Could I figure out how to transport people aboard to be my crew? How many 21st century crew members would I need with how much experience to start my own five year mission?
Judging from what is shown of how to control the transporter system in the show, it doesn't seem that difficult once you've "locked on" to your transport target.
Also, having stood watches aboard operational vessels in the US Navy I can say for a fact a lot of them are 100% we-just-need-a-warm-body-here bullshit, and if Transporter Operator were a station in the Navy all the management, qualification, training, and support this essay claims would fill up all your time when you're on duty is entirely stuff you would be expected to do during the hours you're not standing at a control panel waiting for something to happen. And during emergency situations you'll certainly be getting relieved by whoever it is that the command thinks is the best at operating the transporter (It's Chief O'Brien).
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:50 PM on August 23, 2018 [11 favorites]
Judging from what is shown of how to control the transporter system in the show, it doesn't seem that difficult once you've "locked on" to your transport target.
Also, having stood watches aboard operational vessels in the US Navy I can say for a fact a lot of them are 100% we-just-need-a-warm-body-here bullshit, and if Transporter Operator were a station in the Navy all the management, qualification, training, and support this essay claims would fill up all your time when you're on duty is entirely stuff you would be expected to do during the hours you're not standing at a control panel waiting for something to happen. And during emergency situations you'll certainly be getting relieved by whoever it is that the command thinks is the best at operating the transporter (It's Chief O'Brien).
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:50 PM on August 23, 2018 [11 favorites]
The 2009 nuTrek movie did have a good scene illustrating how and why seasoned transporter operators are needed, featuring underage ensign Pavel Chekov trying to deal with beaming up a sentient target as she accelerated toward the center of a collapsing gravity well.
posted by infinitewindow at 6:02 PM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 6:02 PM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
Who thinks transporter chiefs are bored? They get a lot to do during the series. Frankly, in the end they're all on a tiny ship floating through a large portion of an entire galaxy that's populated by a few hundred sentient species. Pretty sure they all get a lot of down time.
posted by Query at 6:20 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Query at 6:20 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Apart from emergency situations when they get to move at the speed of plot Warp 9.999..., I always got the impression that there were still weeks of travel between the more distant ports of call for Starfleet ships. Probably more during exploratory missions. But, yeah, all of that downtime is going to be occupied with something, and there will be rotating watches, just like on modern day ships. It's obviously not just the most senior technician on the ship standing behind a console 24/7.
posted by tobascodagama at 6:36 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by tobascodagama at 6:36 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Pretty sure LarpTrek has covered this.
I'm not really convinced by the article, largely because it's hard to see concierge, mechanic, and logistics as part of the same job. I can buy that it's important to have a friendly human being in that spot; but if so, he's not going to be the same guy who troubleshoots the thing, for the same reason your steward is not also your pilot who is not also your plane mechanic.
posted by zompist at 6:53 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm not really convinced by the article, largely because it's hard to see concierge, mechanic, and logistics as part of the same job. I can buy that it's important to have a friendly human being in that spot; but if so, he's not going to be the same guy who troubleshoots the thing, for the same reason your steward is not also your pilot who is not also your plane mechanic.
posted by zompist at 6:53 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Who thinks transporter chiefs are bored? They get a lot to do during the series.
Do you know who said that it's boring. O'Brien that's who.
From DS9 season 4 episode, the Bar Associate:
O'BRIEN: That's the problem when you combine Cardassian, Bajoran and Federation technology. None of it was meant to work together.
WORF: How do you tolerate working in this environment?
O'BRIEN: It's a lot easier than working on the Enterprise.
WORF: Easier? The Enterprise never had these kind of problems.
O'BRIEN: Tell me about it. Have you have any idea how bored I used to get sitting in the Transporter room waiting for something to break down? Here, I've a half dozen new problems every day. This station needs me. Oh, do me a favour. Hand me the coil spanner.
posted by jmauro at 7:44 PM on August 23, 2018 [21 favorites]
Do you know who said that it's boring. O'Brien that's who.
From DS9 season 4 episode, the Bar Associate:
O'BRIEN: That's the problem when you combine Cardassian, Bajoran and Federation technology. None of it was meant to work together.
WORF: How do you tolerate working in this environment?
O'BRIEN: It's a lot easier than working on the Enterprise.
WORF: Easier? The Enterprise never had these kind of problems.
O'BRIEN: Tell me about it. Have you have any idea how bored I used to get sitting in the Transporter room waiting for something to break down? Here, I've a half dozen new problems every day. This station needs me. Oh, do me a favour. Hand me the coil spanner.
posted by jmauro at 7:44 PM on August 23, 2018 [21 favorites]
Grangousier: The character in television who had it worst, I think, was John Tracy of Thunderbirds...oh, no, it's very important they shoot him into space, poor fucker.
But do they send him cheesy movies, the worst they can find?
posted by fireoyster at 8:12 PM on August 23, 2018 [8 favorites]
But do they send him cheesy movies, the worst they can find?
posted by fireoyster at 8:12 PM on August 23, 2018 [8 favorites]
But do they send him cheesy movies, the worst they can find?
No, but those puppets did seem to drink a lot of Pernod.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:19 PM on August 23, 2018
No, but those puppets did seem to drink a lot of Pernod.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:19 PM on August 23, 2018
OK, I didn't have the patience to read the whole article, although I certainly applaud the commitment. But here's my beef about the transporter room: Why does it exist? It is canon that you can transport from the bridge. You can also transport people anywhere. Why do they bother going to the special transporter room?
posted by latkes at 9:55 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by latkes at 9:55 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
latkes, StackExchange has your answer based on an article from Memory-Alpha and a cameo appearance from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Technical Manual.
posted by fireoyster at 10:06 PM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by fireoyster at 10:06 PM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
It underplays his experiences on DS-9 - you don't get to be that good at a job that difficult by standing around in a sinecure position all day. Half of the systems on DS9 are secretly Cardassian booby-traps actively undermining each other, likely for political reasons.
Transporters, and by extension replicators, are likely every inch as finicky and finely tuned as the Warp Core, only it kills the crew one at a time rather than en-mass. Only the most inquisitive and cautious self-starters get put in charge of those systems, but they need to be freewheelers who can adjust and modify them on the fly in times of emergency.
Invented by Emory Erickson, it is the quintessential "United Federation of Hold My Beer I Got This" technology, cautiously adopted around the Beta Quadrant entire by the time O'Brein comes on the scene.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:11 PM on August 23, 2018 [8 favorites]
Transporters, and by extension replicators, are likely every inch as finicky and finely tuned as the Warp Core, only it kills the crew one at a time rather than en-mass. Only the most inquisitive and cautious self-starters get put in charge of those systems, but they need to be freewheelers who can adjust and modify them on the fly in times of emergency.
Invented by Emory Erickson, it is the quintessential "United Federation of Hold My Beer I Got This" technology, cautiously adopted around the Beta Quadrant entire by the time O'Brein comes on the scene.
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:11 PM on August 23, 2018 [8 favorites]
Yeah, this'd be more convincing if they didn't undermine the premise on several occasions within the canon. The whole "transporter duty is boring" thing goes back to at least Star Trek III.
posted by Aleyn at 11:18 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Aleyn at 11:18 PM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
if you're a guy you don't need to walk to the bathroom cause you can just pee into the beam!
Back in the late 70s/early 80s, I saw James Doohan (who played Scotty) speak at a comics convention in NYC. Smartass Trekkies in those days loved to point out that a recently-issued set of Enterprise blueprints suggested the ship had no lavatories on board.
There was a Q&A session at the end of the talk and, sure enough, that's just the point someone raised: "How do you pee on The Enterprise when it's got no rest rooms?" Doohan didn't miss a beat. "We set our phasers on disintegrate," he replied. "And aim very, very carefully."
posted by Paul Slade at 12:13 AM on August 24, 2018 [9 favorites]
Back in the late 70s/early 80s, I saw James Doohan (who played Scotty) speak at a comics convention in NYC. Smartass Trekkies in those days loved to point out that a recently-issued set of Enterprise blueprints suggested the ship had no lavatories on board.
There was a Q&A session at the end of the talk and, sure enough, that's just the point someone raised: "How do you pee on The Enterprise when it's got no rest rooms?" Doohan didn't miss a beat. "We set our phasers on disintegrate," he replied. "And aim very, very carefully."
posted by Paul Slade at 12:13 AM on August 24, 2018 [9 favorites]
This leaves no room for mistakes. When the next Klingon admiral comes to you complaining that their prize-winning Bat’leth won’t cut so much as a piece of cheese anymore, it is no good blaming the computer.
I'm sold.
posted by polymodus at 12:27 AM on August 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm sold.
posted by polymodus at 12:27 AM on August 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
What if the transporter guy just gave up on pushing the bars halfway through? Or like what if he sneezed?
The former just means you lose a few red shirts. But with the sneezing scenario there is a real risk to go over the data cap in the transporter's unlimited plan. You don't want that to happen.
posted by Ashenmote at 1:44 AM on August 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
The former just means you lose a few red shirts. But with the sneezing scenario there is a real risk to go over the data cap in the transporter's unlimited plan. You don't want that to happen.
posted by Ashenmote at 1:44 AM on August 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
OK, I didn't have the patience to read the whole article, although I certainly applaud the commitment. But here's my beef about the transporter room: Why does it exist? It is canon that you can transport from the bridge. You can also transport people anywhere. Why do they bother going to the special transporter room?
The transporter room is still necessary because a site-to-site transport isn't actually site-to-site at all--the transporter beam is still passing through the machinery in the transporter room so it's more like site-to-transporter-room-to-site. The beam is just not reformed into matter in the transporter room, it's a pass-through.
Site-to-site transports are also not as energy efficient as beaming directly to or from the transporter room, as effectively a site-to-site transport is 2 transports, not 1, nor as safe.
posted by Automocar at 6:32 AM on August 24, 2018 [6 favorites]
The transporter room is still necessary because a site-to-site transport isn't actually site-to-site at all--the transporter beam is still passing through the machinery in the transporter room so it's more like site-to-transporter-room-to-site. The beam is just not reformed into matter in the transporter room, it's a pass-through.
Site-to-site transports are also not as energy efficient as beaming directly to or from the transporter room, as effectively a site-to-site transport is 2 transports, not 1, nor as safe.
posted by Automocar at 6:32 AM on August 24, 2018 [6 favorites]
The year is 2364, stool technology has been lost through the mists of times and everyone stands, except for the lucky few who have the few remaining chairs.
posted by Damienmce at 6:59 AM on August 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Damienmce at 6:59 AM on August 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
Okay, I never thought the job was particularly boring (especially when they have to contain a disease or something!). I just thought O'Brien himself was boringly acted and had no personality, so nobody cared to know more about him except whether his work contributed to the plot that episode.
Sorry to all the O'Brien heads out there.
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:08 AM on August 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Sorry to all the O'Brien heads out there.
posted by Emmy Rae at 7:08 AM on August 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
The year is 2364, stool technology has been lost through the mists of times and everyone stands, except for the lucky few who have the few remaining chairs.
Riker's hometown actually had the last stools on Earth, that's why he sits like that.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:18 AM on August 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
Riker's hometown actually had the last stools on Earth, that's why he sits like that.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:18 AM on August 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
The year is 2364, stool technology has been lost
This seems unlikely if all the food is made of beans.
posted by biffa at 7:34 AM on August 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
This seems unlikely if all the food is made of beans.
posted by biffa at 7:34 AM on August 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
You occasionally see him relieve his juniors when there's something really important to transport, like Riker's Beard.
That's a terrible thing to call Deanna Troi.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:40 AM on August 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
That's a terrible thing to call Deanna Troi.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:40 AM on August 24, 2018 [19 favorites]
Watching shuttlecraft and runabouts beam people up on their own given a very vague voice command convinces me that if any of this is true, it's because someone has actively turned off the automation that could do the same job 99% of the time.
posted by eotvos at 10:36 AM on August 24, 2018
posted by eotvos at 10:36 AM on August 24, 2018
Who thinks transporter chiefs are bored? They get a lot to do during the series.
I'm looking forward to a captured screen shot that shows they are browsing metafilter during their downtime.
posted by srboisvert at 11:40 AM on August 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm looking forward to a captured screen shot that shows they are browsing metafilter during their downtime.
posted by srboisvert at 11:40 AM on August 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
Half of the systems on DS9 are secretly Cardassian booby-traps actively undermining each other, likely for political reasons.
More like 80%. It remains unexplained how the Cardassians weren't killing their own people on the regular, purely by accidentally hitting a booby trap. Hell maybe they were. They're a wacky bunch.
O'BRIEN: Tell me about it. Have you have any idea how bored I used to get sitting in the Transporter room waiting for something to break down? Here, I've a half dozen new problems every day. This station needs me.
This feels like a side dig of how underused he was as an actor on ST:NG and honestly the best thing about DS9 was how often they took digs (from the first episode!) at the Enterprise and its crew.
DS9 was where all the most messed-up ST:NG people ended up and I loved it. It was like Trek Reform School.
posted by emjaybee at 11:50 AM on August 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
More like 80%. It remains unexplained how the Cardassians weren't killing their own people on the regular, purely by accidentally hitting a booby trap. Hell maybe they were. They're a wacky bunch.
O'BRIEN: Tell me about it. Have you have any idea how bored I used to get sitting in the Transporter room waiting for something to break down? Here, I've a half dozen new problems every day. This station needs me.
This feels like a side dig of how underused he was as an actor on ST:NG and honestly the best thing about DS9 was how often they took digs (from the first episode!) at the Enterprise and its crew.
DS9 was where all the most messed-up ST:NG people ended up and I loved it. It was like Trek Reform School.
posted by emjaybee at 11:50 AM on August 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
DS9 was where all the most messed-up ST:NG people ended up and I loved it. It was like Trek Reform School.
"Ah, yes...Worf, is it? It says here you're having a bit of trouble fitting in with other Klingons. It seems you've been acting out a bit. Why don't you have a seat over there next to the smart girl with authority issues, the kid with PTSD, the compulsive liar, and the...ah...former terrorist."
*camera pans to Kira Nerys carving anti-Cardassian slogans in her desk with a Ka-Bar*
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:01 PM on August 24, 2018 [8 favorites]
"Ah, yes...Worf, is it? It says here you're having a bit of trouble fitting in with other Klingons. It seems you've been acting out a bit. Why don't you have a seat over there next to the smart girl with authority issues, the kid with PTSD, the compulsive liar, and the...ah...former terrorist."
*camera pans to Kira Nerys carving anti-Cardassian slogans in her desk with a Ka-Bar*
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:01 PM on August 24, 2018 [8 favorites]
Movie pitch: Like "Pushing Tin" but for transporter operators
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:42 PM on August 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:42 PM on August 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
I'm looking forward to a captured screen shot that shows they are browsing metafilter during their downtime.
Ohhhhh blue-and-yellow-green LCARS interface... this needs to happen for an April Fools Day one year
posted by infinitewindow at 2:59 PM on August 24, 2018 [5 favorites]
Ohhhhh blue-and-yellow-green LCARS interface... this needs to happen for an April Fools Day one year
posted by infinitewindow at 2:59 PM on August 24, 2018 [5 favorites]
zompist: "Pretty sure LarpTrek has covered this."
Back before it was all Menger sponges all of the time.
posted by Chrysostom at 3:08 PM on August 24, 2018
Back before it was all Menger sponges all of the time.
posted by Chrysostom at 3:08 PM on August 24, 2018
honestly the best thing about DS9 was how often they took digs (from the first episode!) at the Enterprise and its crew.
Yeah, that was the main thing that made me unable to stomach it. Nobody shits on Picard's intelligence on my watch.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:35 PM on August 24, 2018
Yeah, that was the main thing that made me unable to stomach it. Nobody shits on Picard's intelligence on my watch.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:35 PM on August 24, 2018
Considering that civilization has conquered gravity in the 24th century I can think of a few easy ways to get around needing a stool behind the transporter console. Just dial the local gravity down and you'll find it's significantly easier to stand on your feet.
Also, if you think it's beyond the pale to make someone stand in one spot and do absolutely nothing for 8 hours you've obviously never stood sentry watches in the military.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:52 PM on August 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
Also, if you think it's beyond the pale to make someone stand in one spot and do absolutely nothing for 8 hours you've obviously never stood sentry watches in the military.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:52 PM on August 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
If you were the transporter person on an eight hour shift, how long would you need to be on duty, bearing in mind this is post the daily beanfeast, before you transported a fart into another part of the ship? Is there a starfleet regulation on this do you think?
posted by biffa at 3:07 PM on August 28, 2018
posted by biffa at 3:07 PM on August 28, 2018
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: ok wats the secret
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: ur going to have to narrow it down
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: how do u keep ur engineers on transporter duty from committing mutiny because its too hard
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: we assign that duty to humans
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: KNEW IT! humans ur slaves!
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: no humans find it boring and pleasant
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: relieves stress for human engineers
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: its very theraputic
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: look
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: even tho they only have the barest understanding of transporter science after inventing it, and do not have engineering clearly defined, they are uniquely prepared in their culture to Just Go With It
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: this is a species that has high confidence they can get The Hang of It
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: The Hang Of It is a documented trial-and-error processes that usually leads to success and is internalized on an emotional, instinctual level. then they learn something new that they can use to feed billions or blow stuff up or both
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: usually both
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: that's bonkers
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: there's a reason the borg went after us so hard,,, humans are the least of it
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: can we talk about an alliance with the federation now
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:22 PM on August 28, 2018 [4 favorites]
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: ur going to have to narrow it down
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: how do u keep ur engineers on transporter duty from committing mutiny because its too hard
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: we assign that duty to humans
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: KNEW IT! humans ur slaves!
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: no humans find it boring and pleasant
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: relieves stress for human engineers
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: its very theraputic
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: look
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: even tho they only have the barest understanding of transporter science after inventing it, and do not have engineering clearly defined, they are uniquely prepared in their culture to Just Go With It
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: this is a species that has high confidence they can get The Hang of It
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: wat
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: The Hang Of It is a documented trial-and-error processes that usually leads to success and is internalized on an emotional, instinctual level. then they learn something new that they can use to feed billions or blow stuff up or both
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: usually both
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: that's bonkers
VULCAN SCIENCE ACADAMY: there's a reason the borg went after us so hard,,, humans are the least of it
FERENGINAR TRADE FLEET: can we talk about an alliance with the federation now
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:22 PM on August 28, 2018 [4 favorites]
Mr.Encyclopedia: "One of my favorite daydreams is that I find myself alone aboard Kirk's Enterprise, fully operational in earth orbit. Would I be able to figure out how to operate the ship? Could I figure out how to transport people aboard to be my crew? How many 21st century crew members would I need with how much experience to start my own five year mission?"
Star Trek: Bridge Crew is basically a multiplayer VR version of this, and has been modded for screen-based play if you don't have access to a headset. Even watching Let's Plays is highly entertaining.
posted by Rhaomi at 12:10 AM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
Star Trek: Bridge Crew is basically a multiplayer VR version of this, and has been modded for screen-based play if you don't have access to a headset. Even watching Let's Plays is highly entertaining.
posted by Rhaomi at 12:10 AM on September 4, 2018 [1 favorite]
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