the default all-American cake
October 18, 2018 4:19 PM Subscribe
Everyone agrees on this: Birthday cake is vanilla. Birthday cake has sprinkles.
I want to know when we all decided this, but nobody will tell me. It is just the natural order of the universe. It is what a birthday is.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- frimble
Yes- chocolate all the way! Actually second favorite is yellow cake, chocolate frosting. White cake is way down on the list.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2018 [11 favorites]
*chants* carrot cake. carrot cake. carrot cake. *chanting continues*
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2018 [32 favorites]
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2018 [32 favorites]
It occurs to me that “yellowcake” is also a form of concentrated uranium.
Ha. We made (homemade) yellow cake with chocolate frosting for our kid’s first two birthdays. It was really good, and tasted nothing like Birthday Cake. Since she’s old enough to have an opinion, birthday cake is brownies, the darker the better, with about $4 worth of sprinkles on top.
But yeah, Birthday Cake is, for sure, just sickly-sweet artificial vanilla. I think it’s an easy flavor to reproduce in a lot of products, and the visual of rainbow sprinkles feels like a celebration.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Ha. We made (homemade) yellow cake with chocolate frosting for our kid’s first two birthdays. It was really good, and tasted nothing like Birthday Cake. Since she’s old enough to have an opinion, birthday cake is brownies, the darker the better, with about $4 worth of sprinkles on top.
But yeah, Birthday Cake is, for sure, just sickly-sweet artificial vanilla. I think it’s an easy flavor to reproduce in a lot of products, and the visual of rainbow sprinkles feels like a celebration.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
I'm on team I_Love_Bananas, here. yellow cake, chocolate frosting. These Vox people wouldn't know the voice of the populace if it bit them on the face.
posted by tclark at 4:29 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by tclark at 4:29 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
In my house growing up, the canonical Birthday Cake was yellow cake, chocolate frosting, covered in M&Ms. Every year, for all four of us kids.
My mom still brings it every year.
posted by tocts at 4:32 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
My mom still brings it every year.
posted by tocts at 4:32 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
The flavour birthday cake is vanilla with sprinkles, but it's not the only birthday cake, nor is it restricted to eating at birthdays. It is not "what a birthday is". But it's a more appealing name than "vanilla cake with sprinkles" so there it goes.
posted by jeather at 4:32 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by jeather at 4:32 PM on October 18, 2018
Everybody knows birthday cake is Funfetti, which I suppose is vanilla.
Vanilla pairs best with the smell of recently-snuffed candles anyway. Chocolate fights with the aroma, and yellow cake just pointedly sulks in the background like a jealous runner-up. Only the truly sinister would include berries in the cake batter.
Carrot cake wasn’t even invited. Who the hell let carrot cake in here?!
posted by armeowda at 4:33 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Vanilla pairs best with the smell of recently-snuffed candles anyway. Chocolate fights with the aroma, and yellow cake just pointedly sulks in the background like a jealous runner-up. Only the truly sinister would include berries in the cake batter.
Carrot cake wasn’t even invited. Who the hell let carrot cake in here?!
posted by armeowda at 4:33 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
carrot cake. carrot cake. carrot cake.
Cream. Cheese. Icing.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:35 PM on October 18, 2018 [14 favorites]
Cream. Cheese. Icing.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:35 PM on October 18, 2018 [14 favorites]
Birthday Cake is a flavor that only exists in non-birthday cake food foods. The real birthday cake flavor should be determined by the person on which celebration is inflicted. I prefer Oreo dirt cake (with many gummy worms) or pumpkin cheese cake. Doesn't prevent someone from going all in on vanilla + sprinkles.
On preview:
Cream. Cheese. Icing.
I prefer Oreo dirt cake, pumpkin cheese cake, and carrot cake with cream. cheese. icing.
posted by Mister Cheese at 4:36 PM on October 18, 2018 [8 favorites]
On preview:
Cream. Cheese. Icing.
I prefer Oreo dirt cake, pumpkin cheese cake, and carrot cake with cream. cheese. icing.
posted by Mister Cheese at 4:36 PM on October 18, 2018 [8 favorites]
I suspect “Birthday Cake,” the flavor, may be inspired by Christina Tosi
posted by roger ackroyd at 4:37 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by roger ackroyd at 4:37 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Everyone agrees on this: Birthday cake is vanilla.
LIES AND UNTRUTHS
posted by poffin boffin at 4:40 PM on October 18, 2018 [10 favorites]
LIES AND UNTRUTHS
posted by poffin boffin at 4:40 PM on October 18, 2018 [10 favorites]
Cake variety is irrelevant when its purpose is to be a platform and delivery system for frosting (or icing, if you prefer that term).
posted by theory at 4:40 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by theory at 4:40 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Can Pinterest and/or Instagram be responsible for this, at least in part? "Birthday Cake" style cakes photograph most attractively, particularly given the palette of pinks and blues often favoured by aesthetic bloggers and mommy bloggers and other lifestyle-oriented social media types. The types of cakes kids most often (in my experience, at least) want and request -- all chocolate everything -- are a little harder to fit into a mood board.
posted by halation at 4:41 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by halation at 4:41 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
also as soon as i saw the vile loathsome word FUNFETTI i slipped into a fugue state and committed atrocities
posted by poffin boffin at 4:42 PM on October 18, 2018 [22 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 4:42 PM on October 18, 2018 [22 favorites]
2014 saw the coming of the short-lived birthday cake M&M, which was billed, cryptically, as “delicious milk chocolate infused with birthday cake flavor.”
Bad candies abound, but might be the first time a candy has struck me as actually dystopian.
posted by eirias at 4:42 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Bad candies abound, but might be the first time a candy has struck me as actually dystopian.
posted by eirias at 4:42 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
My preferred birthday cake is homemade yellow cake with Hershey's Cocoa chocolate frosting. Anyone attempting to foist a vanilla cake with sprinkles on me for my birthday would be instanted disowned.
posted by briank at 4:43 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by briank at 4:43 PM on October 18, 2018
i will kill one hostage every minute until funfetti is banned from the entire planet and the fact that the hostages are tater tots should not detract from the seriousness of my demands
posted by poffin boffin at 4:44 PM on October 18, 2018 [32 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 4:44 PM on October 18, 2018 [32 favorites]
what if
Limited Edition Birthday Cake TaterTots
(it's probably only a matter of time)
posted by halation at 4:45 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Limited Edition Birthday Cake TaterTots
(it's probably only a matter of time)
posted by halation at 4:45 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
the fact that the hostages are tater tots
I think we found the new host of the venom symbiote.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 4:46 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I think we found the new host of the venom symbiote.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 4:46 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
My grandma would make a Watergate Cake for my birthday (sans coconut version only). I haven't had one in fifteen years. hmm.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 4:57 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Mister Fabulous at 4:57 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
2014 saw the coming of the short-lived birthday cake M&M, which was billed, cryptically, as “delicious milk chocolate infused with birthday cake flavor.”
Bad candies abound, but might be the first time a candy has struck me as actually dystopian.
Happy birthday to you
M&Ms are for you
There's no cake for your birthday
And you'll shit out grey poo
posted by Merus at 5:02 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
Bad candies abound, but might be the first time a candy has struck me as actually dystopian.
Happy birthday to you
M&Ms are for you
There's no cake for your birthday
And you'll shit out grey poo
posted by Merus at 5:02 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
the fact that the hostages are tater tots
Eat the hostage.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:03 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Eat the hostage.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:03 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Red velvet cake with chocolate frosting or you're not invited.
posted by calamari kid at 5:05 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by calamari kid at 5:05 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
As a child I was told that I was allergic to chocolate. The closest thing I had to chocolate was Tootsie Rolls (yes, I realize that sentence is an abomination) until I was around 30 years of age. Around that time I said, 'fuck it, let's see what happens if I eat some chocolate.' Would you like to know what happens if I eat chocolate, what sort of ghastly medical spasms I have to undergo? None, nothing, not a fig, I am no more allergic to chocolate than I am able to lift a car over my head, I was lied to. Lies were told to me. About chocolate. Anyway, yes, I had vanilla birthday cakes the whole time, often at Howard Johnson's as part of their subscription deal for people who didn't have enough friends to have a real party. I hope the rest of you guys got something decent.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 5:06 PM on October 18, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by Sing Or Swim at 5:06 PM on October 18, 2018 [11 favorites]
I got a rock.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:13 PM on October 18, 2018 [13 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:13 PM on October 18, 2018 [13 favorites]
Vanilla birthday cake is the option when you're ordering a sheet cake for the office party and you could order the flavor "grey cardboard" and people would still eat it because you can stretch that party out to nearly half the day if you recycle enough gossip. Chocolate cake is proof that somebody in your life loves you. (Especially if they combine it with orange frosting. The chocolate-orange marriage is an alchemical formula for bliss.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:14 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:14 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Carrot cake wasn’t even invited. Who the hell let carrot cake in here?!
I did. Fight me. I eat carrots. In a cake.
posted by loquacious at 5:19 PM on October 18, 2018 [9 favorites]
I did. Fight me. I eat carrots. In a cake.
posted by loquacious at 5:19 PM on October 18, 2018 [9 favorites]
So "Birthday Cake" as a how-Dawkins-meant-it-meme is vanilla with sprinkles and I think this article does a so-so job or really digging into that, but it does its research.
"A year later, USA Today reported that at least 17 “birthday-cake flavored new products” had recently hit the market"
"Birthday cake" is just a shorthand for a product that has a filling that is:
- goddamn sweet
- white
- vaguely vanilla
- with coloured sprinkles throughout
Kids fucking love sprinkles. As, uh, vanilla as it is, vanilla remains the most popular (non-)flavour.
it's a trend, it's a meme, it's the natural evolution of branding pedestrian products (cookies) by attaching them to the very essence of life itself (your birthday).
The only flaw in the whole plan is that as far as flavours go, it's duller than eating white glue.
posted by GuyZero at 5:20 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
"A year later, USA Today reported that at least 17 “birthday-cake flavored new products” had recently hit the market"
"Birthday cake" is just a shorthand for a product that has a filling that is:
- goddamn sweet
- white
- vaguely vanilla
- with coloured sprinkles throughout
Kids fucking love sprinkles. As, uh, vanilla as it is, vanilla remains the most popular (non-)flavour.
it's a trend, it's a meme, it's the natural evolution of branding pedestrian products (cookies) by attaching them to the very essence of life itself (your birthday).
The only flaw in the whole plan is that as far as flavours go, it's duller than eating white glue.
posted by GuyZero at 5:20 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Sprinkles?
I... I don't think I've ever in my life seen a cake with sprinkles on it before the picture in the article. Ice cream cone sprinkles? On a cake?
posted by elsilnora at 5:20 PM on October 18, 2018
I... I don't think I've ever in my life seen a cake with sprinkles on it before the picture in the article. Ice cream cone sprinkles? On a cake?
posted by elsilnora at 5:20 PM on October 18, 2018
*chanting continues*
Well, why not? It beats having to actually eat the carrot cake.
Do Americans not have ice cream cake? I would have thought you invented it.
posted by GeckoDundee at 5:22 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Well, why not? It beats having to actually eat the carrot cake.
Do Americans not have ice cream cake? I would have thought you invented it.
posted by GeckoDundee at 5:22 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
It is well-known that birthday cake is a Sacher Torte.
posted by 1adam12 at 5:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by 1adam12 at 5:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
Everyone agrees on this: Birthday cake is vanilla.
LIES AND UNTRUTHS
It's not actual birthday cake.
The Ur-Birthday Cake is Vanilla. The flavour of the shadow cast by a cake against the cave wall in which your are chained is vanilla. The immaterial concept of a cake, served on the anniversary of your birth, that essence-less notion, is itself flavoured vanilla.
When your brain cells encode the memory of childhood and your birthday, they do so with the phenolic aldehyde C8H8O3.
posted by GuyZero at 5:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
LIES AND UNTRUTHS
It's not actual birthday cake.
The Ur-Birthday Cake is Vanilla. The flavour of the shadow cast by a cake against the cave wall in which your are chained is vanilla. The immaterial concept of a cake, served on the anniversary of your birth, that essence-less notion, is itself flavoured vanilla.
When your brain cells encode the memory of childhood and your birthday, they do so with the phenolic aldehyde C8H8O3.
posted by GuyZero at 5:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
It is well-known that birthday cake is a Sacher Torte.
Maybe if you're a failed Austrian painter.
posted by GuyZero at 5:24 PM on October 18, 2018
Maybe if you're a failed Austrian painter.
posted by GuyZero at 5:24 PM on October 18, 2018
I did. Fight me. I eat carrots. In a cake.
Fight me too!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 5:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Fight me too!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 5:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Weird. It's almost as if people's impression of what constitutes a birthday cake is eerily similar to the one they received as children. Who'd'a thunk it?
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 5:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 5:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
I like vanilla birthday cake.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:29 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:29 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
(I also like birthday-cake flavored things, and as a general rule, foods that are flavored like other foods. It took me 34 years to admit that my favorite ice cream flavor is cotton candy. Fuck sophistication. Life is too short not to eat things you actually enjoy--like blue and pink ice cream that tastes like a state fair.)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:30 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:30 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
Uh...with all the arguing, who has the best recipe of ANY birthday cake? Because I am here for recipes so show me the best yellow, carrot, vanilla, sacher torte or any cake you got.
posted by jadepearl at 5:31 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by jadepearl at 5:31 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
My mom made me my favorite - chocolate cake with mint frosting - every birthday. From scratch, no cake mix. She was shocked - shocked! - when I started buying cakes for my son's birthdays. (I'm an okay baker but a terrible cake decorator, and I was embarrassed to take a cake to my son's fifth birthday party that looked like a five-year-old made it.)
posted by Daily Alice at 5:34 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Daily Alice at 5:34 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Don't you people have different cakes each year? What kind of repetitive hell do you live in?
posted by oddman at 5:38 PM on October 18, 2018 [12 favorites]
posted by oddman at 5:38 PM on October 18, 2018 [12 favorites]
My birthday cakes were from the bakery as no one but me liked to bake. Usually they were yellow cake with whip cream frosting and a layer of either strawberries, bananas, or chocolate fudge in the middle.
posted by asteria at 5:42 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by asteria at 5:42 PM on October 18, 2018
Bad candies abound, but might be the first time a candy has struck me as actually dystopian.
Circus peanuts.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:43 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Circus peanuts.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:43 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Birthday cake when I was a boy was homemade chocolate cake, decorated like a football field, with little electric football players engaged in a running play, and number 33 (my Pop Warner number) breaking into daylight in the end zone.
Birthday cake today is aww fuck it here’s some Thanksgiving pumpkin pie from that one we didn’t slice into on Thursday afternoon.
posted by notyou at 5:48 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
Birthday cake today is aww fuck it here’s some Thanksgiving pumpkin pie from that one we didn’t slice into on Thursday afternoon.
posted by notyou at 5:48 PM on October 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
I always asked for pineapple upside down cake, and that's what my dad made until my parents started buying cakes instead. After that it was always chocolate or mocha.
posted by Akhu at 5:49 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by Akhu at 5:49 PM on October 18, 2018
The Ur-Birthday Cake is Vanilla. The flavour of the shadow cast by a cake against the cave wall in which your are chained is vanilla. The immaterial concept of a cake, served on the anniversary of your birth, that essence-less notion, is itself flavoured vanilla.
When your brain cells encode the memory of childhood and your birthday, they do so with the phenolic aldehyde C8H8O3.
AKA "Urinal Cake"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:52 PM on October 18, 2018
When your brain cells encode the memory of childhood and your birthday, they do so with the phenolic aldehyde C8H8O3.
AKA "Urinal Cake"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:52 PM on October 18, 2018
Most of my kids' birthday cakes are chocolate, since that's what they usually ask for. But for our family, the main thing about birthday cakes is the kids choose what they want the cake to look like and I--not terribly talented Dad--do my best to make a cake that looks like that. This tradition started when they were little, and it was a pretty fun thing to do. Over time, though, they keep challenging me more, so what started off as "a Lego brick" or "a flying saucer" became "a flowery garden with seven butterflies" and "a Minecraft world with beach, ocean, and forest" and "a three-dimensional castle with towers and a drawbridge." My skills improve a little with each cake, but the request gets more intricate each year, so every cake is almost the exact same level of "passable, but definitely not professional."
They are going to remember these almost-impressive cakes forever, though.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:57 PM on October 18, 2018 [16 favorites]
They are going to remember these almost-impressive cakes forever, though.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:57 PM on October 18, 2018 [16 favorites]
It's true, they will, Pater. I beat myself up all the time for times I lost my temper or didn't live up to my own standards raising our kids. They've all seemed to forget those bits, or at least truly forgive them, but praise me for little things I did for them over the years that I did just... because. Don't know that I deserve that, but I'll take it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:04 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:04 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I don't think I ever had much control over my cake flavor when I was young, but if I did it would be chocolate. Mom made amazing cakes from scratch but not birthday cakes...those were from mixes or store bought and really I was more concerned with the decorations.
Now I like to make her chocolate pound cake for myself from scratch. No icing, just a little cinnamon and powdered sugar. Moist and amazing.
posted by emjaybee at 6:14 PM on October 18, 2018
Now I like to make her chocolate pound cake for myself from scratch. No icing, just a little cinnamon and powdered sugar. Moist and amazing.
posted by emjaybee at 6:14 PM on October 18, 2018
For my father, it was always, always, always chocolate cake with cream cheese icing. When I was a kid, I always wanted chocolate chess pie for my birthday, because I'm weird like that.
posted by 4ster at 6:15 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by 4ster at 6:15 PM on October 18, 2018
The best kid's birthday cake is the one you pick out of The Book. Choo-choo train's good, but ambitious - it's right there on the cover. Number cakes are a good option, as is the swimming pool if you're into jelly.
You know, I'm an adult now. I could make my own Chip Duck.
posted by zamboni at 6:22 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
You know, I'm an adult now. I could make my own Chip Duck.
posted by zamboni at 6:22 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Fight me. I eat carrots. In a cake.
And raisins, probably. You’re clearly not afraid of anything. Please don’t hurt me; just take my lunch money and go spend it on your tragic rabbit-food-before/rabbit-food-after cake-ingredient habits.
posted by armeowda at 6:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
And raisins, probably. You’re clearly not afraid of anything. Please don’t hurt me; just take my lunch money and go spend it on your tragic rabbit-food-before/rabbit-food-after cake-ingredient habits.
posted by armeowda at 6:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I have a winter birthday and when I was a little girl, one of my birthday parties was postponed because of a snow storm. My Mom invited the neighborhood kids in to eat the cake she'd made, but she had to make a new cake for the rescheduled party. Well, it snows a lot on my birthday and the next year was postponed again, and she had to make a second cake. And that is why the next year, and every year since, she got me ice cream cakes for my birthday.
Except for my 50th - I asked for - and got - a carrot cake with cream cheese icing from my favorite bakery - fortunately that one was not snowed out.
posted by NoraCharles at 6:29 PM on October 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
Except for my 50th - I asked for - and got - a carrot cake with cream cheese icing from my favorite bakery - fortunately that one was not snowed out.
posted by NoraCharles at 6:29 PM on October 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
Down with Funfetti! Rainbow chip 4eva! (except for my birthday which is german chocolate)
posted by Tentacle of Trust at 6:36 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Tentacle of Trust at 6:36 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ive never had a banana cream pie, but you get an Internet(tm) point for something delightfully unexpected that I now want to eat.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:49 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 6:49 PM on October 18, 2018
I always wanted a DQ Ice cream cake, but my birthday is in mid-February and that idea didn't get much support. I'm pretty sure that would have been a vanilla cake (plus vanilla ice cream) and sprinkles, so perhaps as a kid I wanted to have that ur-cake of vanilla and sprinkles.
Unfortunately for my cake dreams, I shared a birthday week (and therefore a cake) with my brother and dad, who were not adventurous cake eaters. No ice cream. Probably yellow cake from the betty crocker box and chocolate frosting.
posted by Elly Vortex at 6:57 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Unfortunately for my cake dreams, I shared a birthday week (and therefore a cake) with my brother and dad, who were not adventurous cake eaters. No ice cream. Probably yellow cake from the betty crocker box and chocolate frosting.
posted by Elly Vortex at 6:57 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Fight me too!
Me three!
My wedding cake was 3 layers. The bottom tier -- largest, most crowd-pleasing (but still very good): vanilla cake with strawberry grand marnier buttercream. The middle tier -- smaller, again very good, but still pretty likely to have a lot of interest: lemon cake with lemon buttercream. The top, which nobody got to touch and we took home and ate just for ourselves? Awesome fuckin' carrot cake.
Come our 1st anniversary, the remainder still tasted amazing after a year in the freezer :)
posted by tocts at 7:05 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
Me three!
My wedding cake was 3 layers. The bottom tier -- largest, most crowd-pleasing (but still very good): vanilla cake with strawberry grand marnier buttercream. The middle tier -- smaller, again very good, but still pretty likely to have a lot of interest: lemon cake with lemon buttercream. The top, which nobody got to touch and we took home and ate just for ourselves? Awesome fuckin' carrot cake.
Come our 1st anniversary, the remainder still tasted amazing after a year in the freezer :)
posted by tocts at 7:05 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
But as we have learned by now, birthday cake (cake) and birthday cake (flavor) are not the same.
This is the essence of it, yeah? Everyone's saying what kind of cake they would have on their birthday, but those are actual cakes, not the flavour of cake. To make things that aren't cakes taste like a cake, you have to focus in on the platonic cakeyness, find what tastes only like cake.
posted by RobotHero at 7:06 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
This is the essence of it, yeah? Everyone's saying what kind of cake they would have on their birthday, but those are actual cakes, not the flavour of cake. To make things that aren't cakes taste like a cake, you have to focus in on the platonic cakeyness, find what tastes only like cake.
posted by RobotHero at 7:06 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh god, also. Also.
My wife made me a banana boston cream pie cake one year and holy shit.
Also two different years I arranged for my wife's birthday cake to be an ice cream cake from our favorite local place made of two layers -- oreo, and coffee. Chocolate crumbles between. No actual cake, thanks, ice cream cake doesn't need nor want real cake.
Birthday cakes: important shit!
posted by tocts at 7:06 PM on October 18, 2018
My wife made me a banana boston cream pie cake one year and holy shit.
Also two different years I arranged for my wife's birthday cake to be an ice cream cake from our favorite local place made of two layers -- oreo, and coffee. Chocolate crumbles between. No actual cake, thanks, ice cream cake doesn't need nor want real cake.
Birthday cakes: important shit!
posted by tocts at 7:06 PM on October 18, 2018
"birthday cake" / cake batter as a flavor is disgusting.
you know what's not? triple marble cake with an absolute bouquet of icing flowers.
(the third flavor is theoretically strawberry but it really just tastes, pleasingly, like the color pink)
posted by snerson at 7:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
you know what's not? triple marble cake with an absolute bouquet of icing flowers.
(the third flavor is theoretically strawberry but it really just tastes, pleasingly, like the color pink)
posted by snerson at 7:26 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
In this house, birthday cake is cheesecake.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:31 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 7:31 PM on October 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
Since I can’t have CAKE I will eat any frosting you don’t want.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:32 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:32 PM on October 18, 2018
Oh, c'mon. Everyone knows that proper Birthday Cake is chocolate and made with beets.
What? Why are you all looking at me like that?
(Also, it should be cut and frosted to look like the space shuttle - instructions found in the Baker's Cut-Up Cake Party Book - and have lit sparklers sticking out of the boosters so it looks like it's blasting off.)
Uh...with all the arguing, who has the best recipe of ANY birthday cake? Because I am here for recipes so show me the best yellow, carrot, vanilla, sacher torte or any cake you got.
Seriously though, chocolate beet cake is amazing. The exact recipe my Mom uses was shared online, under the same name: "Maritimers Mint Chocolate Beet Cake". Mint flavouring is optional and can be left out or subbed with a flavour extract of your choice. My mother uses home cooked beets instead of canned and her recipe calls for 1.5 cups pureed beets.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 7:44 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
What? Why are you all looking at me like that?
(Also, it should be cut and frosted to look like the space shuttle - instructions found in the Baker's Cut-Up Cake Party Book - and have lit sparklers sticking out of the boosters so it looks like it's blasting off.)
Uh...with all the arguing, who has the best recipe of ANY birthday cake? Because I am here for recipes so show me the best yellow, carrot, vanilla, sacher torte or any cake you got.
Seriously though, chocolate beet cake is amazing. The exact recipe my Mom uses was shared online, under the same name: "Maritimers Mint Chocolate Beet Cake". Mint flavouring is optional and can be left out or subbed with a flavour extract of your choice. My mother uses home cooked beets instead of canned and her recipe calls for 1.5 cups pureed beets.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 7:44 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Birthday cake is a specific item? Mind blown. Growing up my mother made birthday cakes from scratch, chocolate or vanilla, sponge or regular, with fresh whipped cream on top and in sandwich layers. This might be cut and assembled into a wobbly car silhouette for my brother, or pocked with food colour polka dots (applied with a Q-tip) for me. Carrot with no icing of any kind for my father. The only thing that made a birthday cake was the candles on top of it. Once we got a shop-bought cake for me, with a green and purple witch on it, but the taste was so disappointing the experiment was never repeated.
posted by tavegyl at 8:02 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by tavegyl at 8:02 PM on October 18, 2018
Lemon. Meringue. Pie.
(Because what other day of your year would you inflict baking that on a loved one?)
posted by joeyh at 8:16 PM on October 18, 2018
(Because what other day of your year would you inflict baking that on a loved one?)
posted by joeyh at 8:16 PM on October 18, 2018
For both my brother and me my mother alternated between strawberry, mango or chocolate Charlotte Russe cake. Arguably not a cake but a cake-shaped mousse, but she received no complaints.
posted by bettafish at 8:33 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by bettafish at 8:33 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
For her 7th birthday, my daughter requested chocolate cake filled with whipped cream and strawberries; ganache instead of frosting. The guests were delighted.
posted by The Toad at 8:39 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by The Toad at 8:39 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I really dislike chocolate, especially for cake.
posted by dame at 8:43 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by dame at 8:43 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Well you see, this is weird. As far as I've known, all birthday cakes are chocolate. Except mine. You can imagine being a child chocolate-disliker going to birthday parties and having to choke that mud down to be polite. I've paid my dues.
posted by rhizome at 9:09 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by rhizome at 9:09 PM on October 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Birthday cakes were always Black Forest for me, until I moved out of my parents' house after university... Despite how good a chef my GF is (and still is, 30 years later) she's never managed to make me a Black Forest cake.
[edit] Oh, wait, it says "All-American" cake. Never mind. You people south of the 49th, I tell ya.
posted by Snowflake at 9:19 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
[edit] Oh, wait, it says "All-American" cake. Never mind. You people south of the 49th, I tell ya.
posted by Snowflake at 9:19 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
My Ur birthday cake is a raspberry jelly roll cake from a (now sadly defunct) Jewish bakery in Cleveland, Ohio. I have no idea what any of you are talking about.
posted by merriment at 9:29 PM on October 18, 2018
posted by merriment at 9:29 PM on October 18, 2018
And raisins, probably. You’re clearly not afraid of anything. Please don’t hurt me; just take my lunch money and go spend it on your tragic rabbit-food-before/rabbit-food-after cake-ingredient habits.
You betcha! Oatmeal Raisin cookies are the best cookie, and, yeah, I'm even into grabbing fistfuls of kale right out of the ground and cramming it in my face hole.
But I don't need your lunch money, as you can see I'm already full of beans. And I'm not going to hurt you. I just want you to be nice to my strange little friend.
My preferred birthday cake was indeed carrot cake, so chock full of carrots it was more orange than brown. My mom probably used a lot of bran or some seriously crunchy health food whole wheat flour or something.
I liked it because I was a constantly hungry kid with a major sweet tooth and a slab of carrot cake definitely stuck to my ribs better than any silly, fluffy boxed yellow cake. Also, my mom didn't balk at me gorging on the leftovers for the next couple of days because it was probably like 50% carrots.
posted by loquacious at 9:43 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
You betcha! Oatmeal Raisin cookies are the best cookie, and, yeah, I'm even into grabbing fistfuls of kale right out of the ground and cramming it in my face hole.
But I don't need your lunch money, as you can see I'm already full of beans. And I'm not going to hurt you. I just want you to be nice to my strange little friend.
My preferred birthday cake was indeed carrot cake, so chock full of carrots it was more orange than brown. My mom probably used a lot of bran or some seriously crunchy health food whole wheat flour or something.
I liked it because I was a constantly hungry kid with a major sweet tooth and a slab of carrot cake definitely stuck to my ribs better than any silly, fluffy boxed yellow cake. Also, my mom didn't balk at me gorging on the leftovers for the next couple of days because it was probably like 50% carrots.
posted by loquacious at 9:43 PM on October 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
i fucking love shitty grocery store sheet cake, the more industrial grit t he better, and i have no shame.
posted by PinkMoose at 9:48 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by PinkMoose at 9:48 PM on October 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
Uh...with all the arguing, who has the best recipe of ANY birthday cake?
OK, less a recipe than a how-two, but a family favorite rarely made because it's a bit time consuming and takes up a lot of room in the fridge: Banana Whipped Cream Cake.
3 layers basic yellow cake, fully chilled.
Ripe Bananas. Must be ripe, but not gone soft.
Heavy Whipping Cream
Chill cakes and make a lightly sweetened whipped cream, fairly stiff since you don't want it absorbed into the cake. Cover the first layer of cake with whipped cream, then cover the entire layer with sliced bananas pressed into the whipped cream, then seal with another layer of whipped cream. Use the same process with the remaining two layers. Dream Whip need not apply. If you use it you are a monster, full stop. You'll definitely want 3 layers, it raises the entire experience to epic cake level.
Return to fridge and chill overnight. This step is absolutely essential—it lets the flavors come together properly.
Serve to acclaim. Bask in the adulation.
The whipped cream seals the sliced banana from air and keeps them from browning. It's appreciated best in the summer, but I have yet to find anyone who will turn it down at any time of year. This wasn't our family's go-to birthday cake, that was more often two layers of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. But that's mainly because my mother generally had to be cajoled into making it since it was a bit time consuming—it was always the preferred option for birthdays if we could get her to make it.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 11:02 PM on October 18, 2018
OK, less a recipe than a how-two, but a family favorite rarely made because it's a bit time consuming and takes up a lot of room in the fridge: Banana Whipped Cream Cake.
3 layers basic yellow cake, fully chilled.
Ripe Bananas. Must be ripe, but not gone soft.
Heavy Whipping Cream
Chill cakes and make a lightly sweetened whipped cream, fairly stiff since you don't want it absorbed into the cake. Cover the first layer of cake with whipped cream, then cover the entire layer with sliced bananas pressed into the whipped cream, then seal with another layer of whipped cream. Use the same process with the remaining two layers. Dream Whip need not apply. If you use it you are a monster, full stop. You'll definitely want 3 layers, it raises the entire experience to epic cake level.
Return to fridge and chill overnight. This step is absolutely essential—it lets the flavors come together properly.
Serve to acclaim. Bask in the adulation.
The whipped cream seals the sliced banana from air and keeps them from browning. It's appreciated best in the summer, but I have yet to find anyone who will turn it down at any time of year. This wasn't our family's go-to birthday cake, that was more often two layers of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. But that's mainly because my mother generally had to be cajoled into making it since it was a bit time consuming—it was always the preferred option for birthdays if we could get her to make it.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 11:02 PM on October 18, 2018
Oh dear, I misread that challenge as a simple request for good/fun recipes. I refuse to engage in internet fights over foods. The instructions for Banana Whipped Cream Cake are only offered as something you may like.
The best recipe for birthday cake is the one you want to eat.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 11:06 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
The best recipe for birthday cake is the one you want to eat.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 11:06 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Filbert (aka hazelnut) with chocolate frosting at my house. Because my Great Aunt had a filbert tree. We gathered bags of them each visit. Sooooo good.
posted by chapps at 11:10 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by chapps at 11:10 PM on October 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
My birthday cake will always be a lemon meringue pie and not the mundane construction foam that constitutes the default cake in America.
Plus, it will be a proper southern lemon meringue pie with condensed milk and not that transparent Yankee atrocity with a lemon gel that completely destroys the gorgeous balance between creaminess and astringence with a gummy citrus assault brutally overpowering the delicacy of the meringue.
posted by sonascope at 2:50 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
Plus, it will be a proper southern lemon meringue pie with condensed milk and not that transparent Yankee atrocity with a lemon gel that completely destroys the gorgeous balance between creaminess and astringence with a gummy citrus assault brutally overpowering the delicacy of the meringue.
posted by sonascope at 2:50 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I remember having the piano cake once. But the best year was a basket of flowers cake where the cake was somehow in an actual wicker basket, which caught fire from the candles. My birthday party was the talk of the school for weeks.
posted by lollusc at 4:26 AM on October 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by lollusc at 4:26 AM on October 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
Birthday cake is whatever the person whose birthday it is requests. My mother made wonderful cakes, and she never made a white cake with sprinkles. My favorite was chocolate cake with mocha icing. My own kids prefer carrot cake. Also a kind of mousse cake from the Asian store.
posted by mermayd at 5:04 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by mermayd at 5:04 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I don't enjoy cakes as a general rule. Frosting is the big thing for me, there's only one kind I like at all (boiled icing) and the rest come to the level of "tolerate" at best, although I do like whipped cream. The texture also generally turns me off, I find it never tastes like it looks - usually a lot more bland and dry than I expect. I have yet to find a birthday cake I am willing to sing the praises of.
However, as I have learned to cook as an adult, I have discovered that a lot of the stuff I thought I didn't like was just because I had never had it prepared properly when I was a kid. My mother, bless her, she tries, but she has a complete disregard for the actual instructions of a recipe without a solid understanding of a lot of the underlying principles of cooking. She would come up with her own substitutions which were often utterly bizarre, and decide to cook things at different temperatures and for different lengths than suggested because her time management was not great. I will never forget "Dr. Pepper marinara" or the world's saltiest carrot muffins for as long as I live.
Through hours of research and making the food network my go-to channel, I feel as though I have sufficiently conquered pork chops and turkey, two dishes I had never enjoyed until a nice TV chef told me what I was doing wrong. Cake might have to be next.
But some part of me would still rather have a big thing of birthday poutine. We can even put a little candle on it.
posted by one of these days at 7:23 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
However, as I have learned to cook as an adult, I have discovered that a lot of the stuff I thought I didn't like was just because I had never had it prepared properly when I was a kid. My mother, bless her, she tries, but she has a complete disregard for the actual instructions of a recipe without a solid understanding of a lot of the underlying principles of cooking. She would come up with her own substitutions which were often utterly bizarre, and decide to cook things at different temperatures and for different lengths than suggested because her time management was not great. I will never forget "Dr. Pepper marinara" or the world's saltiest carrot muffins for as long as I live.
Through hours of research and making the food network my go-to channel, I feel as though I have sufficiently conquered pork chops and turkey, two dishes I had never enjoyed until a nice TV chef told me what I was doing wrong. Cake might have to be next.
But some part of me would still rather have a big thing of birthday poutine. We can even put a little candle on it.
posted by one of these days at 7:23 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
My Dad forgot twice that white cake with white frosting is my Mom's favorite cake while growing up, and I got to see my Mom cry and then my Dad cry for making my Mom cry on her birthday. Birthday Cake flavor is understood for a certain segment of the populace. Sometimes vanilla is involved, sure. Interplay of umami and sweet and crisp-soft-dense texture is more important.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:38 AM on October 19, 2018
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:38 AM on October 19, 2018
I'm one of those people who never liked standard sheet cakes. I especially dislike white/yellow cake. If it's high quality, I do enjoy chocolate cake with chocolate icing. (Actually, I will eat all the icing/frosting no matter the quality.)
But cheesecakes and carrot cake (with cream cheese icing, obviously) are awesome, and I have made them as birthday cakes for other people on multiple occasions (at their request). I also enjoy red velvet cake, if it has cream cheese icing.
As a kid, I usually asked for chocolate chip cookie cake from the Publix bakery. I imagine if I had it now I probably wouldn't like it as much, but I thought it was the best thing ever as a kid.
posted by litera scripta manet at 10:06 AM on October 19, 2018
But cheesecakes and carrot cake (with cream cheese icing, obviously) are awesome, and I have made them as birthday cakes for other people on multiple occasions (at their request). I also enjoy red velvet cake, if it has cream cheese icing.
As a kid, I usually asked for chocolate chip cookie cake from the Publix bakery. I imagine if I had it now I probably wouldn't like it as much, but I thought it was the best thing ever as a kid.
posted by litera scripta manet at 10:06 AM on October 19, 2018
Angel food cake with raspberries and whipped cream (no, not Cool Whip. Heavy cream, that has been whipped into fluffiness, you heathens). A nice lemon bundt with a orange glaze, I guess, in a pinch.
I mean, there's nothing inherently _wrong_ with chocolate, I guess. It was just never at the top of the list.
(As far a recipes, go, I can give you a Semi-Homemade process: Buy a angel food cake, a pint of sorbet in the celebrant's preferred flavor, and some whipping cream [or Cool Whip, if you must, but I will judge you]. Let the sorbet soften on the counter while you whip the cream. Cut the cake in half and scoop out a trench, and fill said trench with as much sorbet as fits, then reassemble the halves. Spread whipped cream over the entire surface, then pop into the freezer until the party. Sprinkles optional.)
posted by Karmakaze at 10:24 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
I mean, there's nothing inherently _wrong_ with chocolate, I guess. It was just never at the top of the list.
(As far a recipes, go, I can give you a Semi-Homemade process: Buy a angel food cake, a pint of sorbet in the celebrant's preferred flavor, and some whipping cream [or Cool Whip, if you must, but I will judge you]. Let the sorbet soften on the counter while you whip the cream. Cut the cake in half and scoop out a trench, and fill said trench with as much sorbet as fits, then reassemble the halves. Spread whipped cream over the entire surface, then pop into the freezer until the party. Sprinkles optional.)
posted by Karmakaze at 10:24 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
This is the kind of Metafilter post that I love for the article, which is an interesting point about how "birthday cake" flavor has apparently been "decided on" but unfortunately is framed as "THIS IS THE ONLY THING EVER FOR BIRTHDAYS" and so the entire thread is about people's cake preferences and arguments that they don't have vanilla birthday cake, like, ever, they are mavericks!
But I do think it's interesting how trends in flavoring become a certain way, so thank you for the article.
posted by agregoli at 10:46 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
But I do think it's interesting how trends in flavoring become a certain way, so thank you for the article.
posted by agregoli at 10:46 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
A cellular peptide cake. With mint frosting.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:48 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:48 AM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
I'm not a huge fan of 'Birthday Cake' flavor , but I love all cakes. Fancy homemade, grocery store sheetcakes, all flavors are fine by me. The only thing I don't like is lots of food coloring in the icing because it's unnecessary and stains your mouth.
I'm surprised Starbucks hasn't done a Birthday Cake Latte / Frappuccino yet.
posted by Fig at 10:56 AM on October 19, 2018
I'm surprised Starbucks hasn't done a Birthday Cake Latte / Frappuccino yet.
posted by Fig at 10:56 AM on October 19, 2018
I think the hermeneutics of "birthday cake" as a flavour is that it's not supposed to be the sole birthday cake flavour, but it's a flavour of cake that is only served on birthdays.
Like, there's pretty much no other occasion where you'd serve white sheet cake with white frosting and sprinkles.
posted by GuyZero at 11:00 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Like, there's pretty much no other occasion where you'd serve white sheet cake with white frosting and sprinkles.
posted by GuyZero at 11:00 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm surprised Starbucks hasn't done a Birthday Cake Latte / Frappuccino yet.
It's on the menu at Milk Bar, because of fucking course, it's extremely Milk Bar.
But it's also apparently off-menu at Starbucks - I dunno whether a pump of Hazlenut is all it takes to get the cake flavour, but sure, it's probably close.
posted by GuyZero at 11:07 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
It's on the menu at Milk Bar, because of fucking course, it's extremely Milk Bar.
But it's also apparently off-menu at Starbucks - I dunno whether a pump of Hazlenut is all it takes to get the cake flavour, but sure, it's probably close.
posted by GuyZero at 11:07 AM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
I believe a good approximation of the cake flavour would be:
12 pumps of vanilla
12 packets of sugar
1 cake donut
Hold the coffee
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:11 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
12 pumps of vanilla
12 packets of sugar
1 cake donut
Hold the coffee
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:11 AM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
This is the kind of Metafilter post that I love for the article, which is an interesting point about how "birthday cake" flavor has apparently been "decided on"
I would have liked the article to try harder to track down the origin and history of "birthday cake" as a flavor. As it is, it's basically just "isn't it interesting that we seem to have agreed that 'birthday cake' is this one flavor, when actual birthday cakes come in many flavors?" Which is true as far as it goes, but it could have gone farther.
It's a difficult thing to Google, since just trying birthday cake flavor without quotes gets you lots of stuff about, well, flavors for birthday cakes (of which there are many, as evidenced in this thread), but I feel like using quotes around the whole thing might be overly limiting. I tried playing around with Google's date range limitation, but it does not seem to be especially reliable in dating web pages, especially older ones.
The oldest evidence I could find in a relatively brief search was the "About Us" page for Schoep's Ice Cream, which notes "During its 75th anniversary year [2003], Schoep's introduced the Birthday Cake flavor, consisting of vanilla ice cream swirled with blue whipped cream ribbons and confetti cake pieces."
A frosting or quasi-frosting ribbon, usually blue, seems to be less common in current products but may have persisted for a while: Here's a 2009 blog review of Blue Bunny Birthday Party Ice Cream Sandwiches, which also has a ribbon. Note also, these are "Birthday Party," not "Birthday Cake," but the review refers multiple times to birthday cake ice cream, so the term was already in use by 2009.
For anyone who wants to dig deeper, it does seem that "birthday cake" as this specific flavor for non-birthday-cake items originated in ice cream, and spread from there.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:01 PM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I would have liked the article to try harder to track down the origin and history of "birthday cake" as a flavor. As it is, it's basically just "isn't it interesting that we seem to have agreed that 'birthday cake' is this one flavor, when actual birthday cakes come in many flavors?" Which is true as far as it goes, but it could have gone farther.
It's a difficult thing to Google, since just trying birthday cake flavor without quotes gets you lots of stuff about, well, flavors for birthday cakes (of which there are many, as evidenced in this thread), but I feel like using quotes around the whole thing might be overly limiting. I tried playing around with Google's date range limitation, but it does not seem to be especially reliable in dating web pages, especially older ones.
The oldest evidence I could find in a relatively brief search was the "About Us" page for Schoep's Ice Cream, which notes "During its 75th anniversary year [2003], Schoep's introduced the Birthday Cake flavor, consisting of vanilla ice cream swirled with blue whipped cream ribbons and confetti cake pieces."
A frosting or quasi-frosting ribbon, usually blue, seems to be less common in current products but may have persisted for a while: Here's a 2009 blog review of Blue Bunny Birthday Party Ice Cream Sandwiches, which also has a ribbon. Note also, these are "Birthday Party," not "Birthday Cake," but the review refers multiple times to birthday cake ice cream, so the term was already in use by 2009.
For anyone who wants to dig deeper, it does seem that "birthday cake" as this specific flavor for non-birthday-cake items originated in ice cream, and spread from there.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:01 PM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm surprised Starbucks hasn't done a Birthday Cake Latte / Frappuccino yet.
Only because they already have Birthday Cake Pops, probably -- and have for quite some time.
Upthread someone mentioned Black Forest birthday cakes, which are very fun and not too difficult to make! If anyone would like to try, I use this recipe, though sometimes I'll swap out the chocolate genoise for a recipe of Bittman's Chocolate Vanilla Layer Cake. The cherries are truly the key here. Trader Joe's jarred Morellos work perfectly. Make sure you don't use the cheap kirsch, either -- I ruined a batch of cherry brownies making that mistake, once. No one likes brownies that reek of isopropyl.
posted by halation at 12:09 PM on October 19, 2018
Only because they already have Birthday Cake Pops, probably -- and have for quite some time.
Upthread someone mentioned Black Forest birthday cakes, which are very fun and not too difficult to make! If anyone would like to try, I use this recipe, though sometimes I'll swap out the chocolate genoise for a recipe of Bittman's Chocolate Vanilla Layer Cake. The cherries are truly the key here. Trader Joe's jarred Morellos work perfectly. Make sure you don't use the cheap kirsch, either -- I ruined a batch of cherry brownies making that mistake, once. No one likes brownies that reek of isopropyl.
posted by halation at 12:09 PM on October 19, 2018
More digging: not on the free web, but a press release went out on PR Newswire dated July 3, 2001 and titled "Vanilla Tops the List of America's Favorite Ice Cream Flavors," and including this:
"While traditional flavors still top the list, Baskin-Robbins likes to celebrate the holidays and events with flavors such as America's Birthday Cake, the new July flavor of the month. This white cake-flavored ice cream is an Independence Day wonder with tasty cake pieces swirled together with strawberry ice cream and blue whipped cream frosting."
(Get it, strawberry + white cake + blue frosting = red, white, and blue.) It seems likely to me that "America's Birthday Cake" ice cream would have been a derivative of birthday cake ice cream rather than the other way around, although I don't have proof of that.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:36 PM on October 19, 2018
"While traditional flavors still top the list, Baskin-Robbins likes to celebrate the holidays and events with flavors such as America's Birthday Cake, the new July flavor of the month. This white cake-flavored ice cream is an Independence Day wonder with tasty cake pieces swirled together with strawberry ice cream and blue whipped cream frosting."
(Get it, strawberry + white cake + blue frosting = red, white, and blue.) It seems likely to me that "America's Birthday Cake" ice cream would have been a derivative of birthday cake ice cream rather than the other way around, although I don't have proof of that.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:36 PM on October 19, 2018
There's also bubble-gum flavoured things, but at least bubble gum is recent enough of an invention that you can say that the bubble-gum flavour is based on the original Dubble Bubble flavour. Even though as a kid, I preferred almost any flavour over the plain pink bubble gum.
But if you made for example cherry-bubble-gum-ice-cream, you confuse things. Why are you making this instead of just cherry ice cream?
You'd have the same problem with chocolate-cake ice-cream. Why would I want that instead of just chocolate ice cream, cut out the flavour middle-man?
posted by RobotHero at 1:13 PM on October 19, 2018
But if you made for example cherry-bubble-gum-ice-cream, you confuse things. Why are you making this instead of just cherry ice cream?
You'd have the same problem with chocolate-cake ice-cream. Why would I want that instead of just chocolate ice cream, cut out the flavour middle-man?
posted by RobotHero at 1:13 PM on October 19, 2018
You'd have the same problem with chocolate-cake ice-cream. Why would I want that instead of just chocolate ice cream, cut out the flavour middle-man?
So one, marketing. It sounds fancier. Two, "birthday cake" tastes different tan just vanilla as I guess it has the toasted notes of a well-baked, dryish (not completely dry) actual cake. Even a plain cake lacking any added flavour has a certain toasty taste quality.
posted by GuyZero at 1:26 PM on October 19, 2018
So one, marketing. It sounds fancier. Two, "birthday cake" tastes different tan just vanilla as I guess it has the toasted notes of a well-baked, dryish (not completely dry) actual cake. Even a plain cake lacking any added flavour has a certain toasty taste quality.
posted by GuyZero at 1:26 PM on October 19, 2018
It think a lot of it's that the vanilla flavour doesn't get in the way of that "toasty taste quality." The cakeness of a vanilla cake still comes through even when it isn't a cake.
With a chocolate cake, I think if you hold back on the chocolate enough to really let the cakeness through, you end up with a cake that is insufficiently chocolate. You can go all in on the chocolate and a lot of people will prefer that, which you don't see as much with vanilla, like a Death By Vanilla cake. So vanilla is a better choice flavour if you want to emphasize the cakeness.
posted by RobotHero at 1:44 PM on October 19, 2018
With a chocolate cake, I think if you hold back on the chocolate enough to really let the cakeness through, you end up with a cake that is insufficiently chocolate. You can go all in on the chocolate and a lot of people will prefer that, which you don't see as much with vanilla, like a Death By Vanilla cake. So vanilla is a better choice flavour if you want to emphasize the cakeness.
posted by RobotHero at 1:44 PM on October 19, 2018
Metafilter: Everyone agrees on this
posted by No-sword at 3:09 PM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by No-sword at 3:09 PM on October 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I have a few of these in the pantry, but I haven't tried one yet.
posted by rhizome at 6:52 PM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by rhizome at 6:52 PM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
7-11 had a Crunchberry Slurpee that tasted exactly like the cereal. It was super, super disorienting. So flavor scientists have the “grain” flavor down pat, at least when mixed with vanilla / crunchberry.
I suspect it would work with chocolate, too. I would drink a Count Chocula Slurpee. Once.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:07 PM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
I suspect it would work with chocolate, too. I would drink a Count Chocula Slurpee. Once.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:07 PM on October 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
Birthday Cakes are always German Chocolate Cake, heavy on the coconut-pecan filling.
posted by nenequesadilla at 7:58 PM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by nenequesadilla at 7:58 PM on October 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
It occurs to me that “yellowcake” is also a form of concentrated uranium.
First of all, this makes no sense. How do you make a concentrated element? Do you just add water for instant uranium? It would have made a good joke if the punchline had made sense, though.
Second, this is an article about the fact that a flavor was made up by marketers is arbitrary and wrong? Those are the same people that decided “Superman flavor” is red, blue, and yellow. Which are mainly notable for not being flavors.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 11:57 AM on October 20, 2018
First of all, this makes no sense. How do you make a concentrated element? Do you just add water for instant uranium? It would have made a good joke if the punchline had made sense, though.
Second, this is an article about the fact that a flavor was made up by marketers is arbitrary and wrong? Those are the same people that decided “Superman flavor” is red, blue, and yellow. Which are mainly notable for not being flavors.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 11:57 AM on October 20, 2018
"Yellowcake" isn't concentrated uranium, it's a middle step in refining uranium ore. (It became of interest during the run-up to the Iraq War, because of forged documents asserting that Saddam Hussein was trying to get his hands on some.)
Yellow cake, on the other hand, is... well, more interesting than I'd given it credit for. It's not vanilla cake with food coloring; white cake uses only egg whites, and yellow cake uses whole eggs.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:57 PM on October 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Yellow cake, on the other hand, is... well, more interesting than I'd given it credit for. It's not vanilla cake with food coloring; white cake uses only egg whites, and yellow cake uses whole eggs.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:57 PM on October 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
More on the cake-flavored non-cake item front, I got one of these Quest bars tonight. It was not quite birthday cake but still OK, it has a flavor that reminds me of Mother's Circus Animals icing. I won't be surprised if this is the beginning of a trend, snack foods are already starved for new flavors.
posted by rhizome at 12:06 AM on November 10, 2018
posted by rhizome at 12:06 AM on November 10, 2018
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posted by jonathanhughes at 4:24 PM on October 18, 2018 [13 favorites]