Dig through the clinches and burn through the inches

January 27, 2020 6:50 PM

The same 80s Aerobics video with different songs is a Facebook account that does what it says:

Dragula
Shake it Off
Psychosocial
(the original video)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (31 comments total)

If Shake It Off had existed in the 80s, it would have been mandatory in every single aerobics class.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:11 PM on January 27, 2020 [12 favorites]

Every one of those dancers is probably out there somewhere, right now, playing these videos.
posted by migurski at 7:19 PM on January 27, 2020 [4 favorites]

Dragula did exist in the ‘80s, but we had not yet evolved sufficiently as a species to hear it.
posted by Etrigan at 7:20 PM on January 27, 2020 [10 favorites]

Thanks to these videos, I finally learned that the tragedy broadcast by Key and Peele was real
posted by Theiform at 7:30 PM on January 27, 2020 [6 favorites]

You can watch the entire Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship 1988 with Alan Thicke, but ... you haven't already?

I'm dying to know more about the original theme composer, wondering if she was an extra on DS9.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:43 PM on January 27, 2020 [12 favorites]

This works the best with John Cage's 4'33"
posted by NoMich at 7:46 PM on January 27, 2020 [6 favorites]

*mops brow*

Metamodern sounds in budgie smuggling.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:59 PM on January 27, 2020

The Dragula one is perfect, although I kept wanting their outfits to have a sinister-looking anarchy symbol on the front like the cheerleaders in Smells Like Teen Spirit.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:03 PM on January 27, 2020 [6 favorites]

𝓛𝓲𝓿𝓮 _{through the ditches and}
𝓛𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱 _{through the witches and}
𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 _{in the back of my Dragula}
posted by wreckingball at 8:40 PM on January 27, 2020 [35 favorites]

I guess my main question is why are only the women wearing star trek communicator badges?
posted by aubilenon at 8:42 PM on January 27, 2020 [1 favorite]

there's WAY less headbands than I'd have expected.
posted by some loser at 9:04 PM on January 27, 2020

Just for the fuck of it, here's Leonard Nimoy and a bunch of "hobbits" dancing to Bad Brains' "Pay to Cum"
posted by not_on_display at 9:28 PM on January 27, 2020 [8 favorites]

Thank you for bringing a laugh today. (Dragula wins it for me).
posted by gryphonlover at 10:23 PM on January 27, 2020

I prefer the Galantis Furry Aerobics homage.
posted by benzenedream at 10:24 PM on January 27, 2020 [1 favorite]

KMFDM
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:25 PM on January 27, 2020 [2 favorites]

I just scrolled way too far down that Facebook page, but it was worth it for this dose of internet nostalgia - Dragostea Din Tei (aka the Numa Numa song).
posted by Basil Stag Hare at 11:44 PM on January 27, 2020

You guys, I think the Duck Tales Theme one is better than Shake it Off. Even though I've never heard the Duck Tales Theme before now.
posted by amtho at 12:20 AM on January 28, 2020 [3 favorites]

Did those guys all shave their chests or were they bred for the trait?
posted by pracowity at 2:00 AM on January 28, 2020 [3 favorites]

I never did understand how anyone could get into shape staring slack-jawed at the TV watching these hardbodies work it.
posted by chavenet at 2:33 AM on January 28, 2020 [1 favorite]

For more of this sort of thing its worth checking out SharedBPM on reddit.
posted by Captain_Science at 2:58 AM on January 28, 2020 [3 favorites]

The original riff is fantastic, but the Key and Peele version that adds the second part really takes it over the top.
posted by snofoam at 4:25 AM on January 28, 2020 [1 favorite]

On a semi related topic I was listening to Megatron Man by Patrick Cowley and a coworker was certain that their mom had owned a workout vhs featuring that track and now I really wanna find out what kind of freaked out exercise tape was using outer space sounding hi-nrg tracks to motivate it's users. Mostly because that sounds like an awesome video.
posted by Ferreous at 4:38 AM on January 28, 2020

You guys, I think the Duck Tales Theme one is better than Shake it Off. Even though I've never heard the Duck Tales Theme before now.

Pff. That's not the Duck Tales Theme. THIS is the Duck Tales Theme.
posted by Naberius at 6:31 AM on January 28, 2020 [1 favorite]

That's not the Duck Tales Theme. THIS is the Duck Tales Theme.

I don't even have to follow the link and I know exactly what you are doing there. And that slap bass is going to be stuck in my head all day now. Whoo-oooo!
posted by Foosnark at 8:35 AM on January 28, 2020

Omg...the Taylor Swift one is one of my all-time internet favorites...so much that I made my own version of it...sped up 2X. I should post it online. (There's another version of this out there that I used that doesn't chop up the video weirdly like the one here...it fits the music a lot better without editing)
posted by sexyrobot at 9:33 AM on January 28, 2020

The 'Shake It Off - 1989 Aerobic Workout Edition' was first posted by Thomas Jung but the record company blocked that version for some reason. It is a FAR better edit than the other copies - it is hard to watch it without believing that Taylor Swift did somehow send the song back in time through a space-time worm hole to be used in 1989.
posted by Lanark at 10:26 AM on January 28, 2020 [1 favorite]

I’m beginning to wonder why Crystal Light didn’t follow up with a second National Aerobics Championship.
posted by migurski at 6:04 PM on January 28, 2020

This was at least the second national aerobics championship -- the people who come out in the beginning wearing both blue and red are the champions from the year before.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:48 PM on January 28, 2020

Crystal Light is a hell of a drug.
posted by benzenedream at 11:32 AM on January 29, 2020 [3 favorites]

That was quite... bulge-y.
posted by jonp72 at 5:15 PM on January 29, 2020

OK so I have spent the last hour with the original video, on mute, while going through my mp3 collection and trying things out, see what songs sync up but really get that juicy cognitive dissonance flowing. Songs that worked well, and were in the 1988-ish era:

Ministry: Stigmata; and NWO
Dead Milkmen: Sri Lankan Sex Hotel
Camper Van Beethoven: 9 of Disks
Megadeth: Peace Sells

I could have kept going but I really have to wrest control from myself. Thanks for the diversion.
posted by not_on_display at 10:08 PM on January 29, 2020