Something is longer in the state of Denmark
January 5, 2021 8:36 AM Subscribe
[Caution for innovative Scandinavian genitalia] John Dillermand is an animation aimed at 4 to 8 year olds, broadcast on Danish TV, and centred around a man with the world's most extensive penis. The first series shows him use it to walk dogs, tame lions, cook hot dogs on a camp fire, rescue people, and hang illuminated lights. However, the penis has a mind of its own e.g. stealing ice creams from children. Reaction (from adults on Facebook, and elsewhere) has been mixed [New Straits Times] [entertainment.ie][RTL.lu].
I object to entertainment.ie translating dillermand as penis man. The word for penis in Danish is penis. Diller is a slang expression, so it's more like dick man (though still not quite right).
posted by Dysk at 8:55 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 8:55 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
But also, umm, what the fuck?
posted by Dysk at 8:56 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 8:56 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
dickbøtt.png
posted by saturday_morning at 8:59 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by saturday_morning at 8:59 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
what a dick!
posted by lalochezia at 9:07 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by lalochezia at 9:07 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
This is very strange, but it will also upset all the right people, so I like it.
posted by TedW at 9:10 AM on January 5, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by TedW at 9:10 AM on January 5, 2021 [11 favorites]
Reaction (from adults on Facebook ...)
There are adults on Facebook?!
posted by Cardinal Fang at 9:12 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
There are adults on Facebook?!
posted by Cardinal Fang at 9:12 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
This is incredible and I love it. Kids are weird as hell and will absolutely love this as well. Thanks for sharing.
posted by kdar at 9:13 AM on January 5, 2021
posted by kdar at 9:13 AM on January 5, 2021
Is he wearing some kind of stylishly woven penis sock thing over it, or do Danish penises just look like that?
posted by Naberius at 9:15 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Naberius at 9:15 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
Yeah they don't circumcise
posted by saturday_morning at 9:19 AM on January 5, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by saturday_morning at 9:19 AM on January 5, 2021 [6 favorites]
Is he wearing some kind of stylishly woven penis sock thing over it, or do Danish penises just look like that?
Unfamiliar with Danish penis/penises so am unsure. I'm also still confused about the overlap with Where's Wally, except with garden hose penis. Which is kinda easy to spot.
posted by Wordshore at 9:22 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
Unfamiliar with Danish penis/penises so am unsure. I'm also still confused about the overlap with Where's Wally, except with garden hose penis. Which is kinda easy to spot.
posted by Wordshore at 9:22 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
For the English release, they can just call him John Johnson.
posted by Naberius at 9:23 AM on January 5, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 9:23 AM on January 5, 2021 [6 favorites]
I'm also still confused about the overlap with Where's Wally
Where's Willy?
posted by Cardinal Fang at 9:33 AM on January 5, 2021 [8 favorites]
Where's Willy?
posted by Cardinal Fang at 9:33 AM on January 5, 2021 [8 favorites]
Did you check in the junk drawer?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:49 AM on January 5, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:49 AM on January 5, 2021 [14 favorites]
You gotta have balls to create something like this.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 9:52 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by armoir from antproof case at 9:52 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
Apparently this post is related. Truly his penis is capable of mighty wonders.
posted by Naberius at 9:59 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Naberius at 9:59 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
So if you watch the first minute of the first episode they actually provide an explanation for that penis beaker posting on mumsnet.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:05 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:05 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
The entertainment.ie story led me to a very different one, about a conspiracy theory holding that the CIA produced the Cabbage Patch dolls to prepare Americans for mutated babies after nuclear war.
Which I don't remember from the time.
But you're welcome.
posted by doctornemo at 10:08 AM on January 5, 2021 [3 favorites]
Which I don't remember from the time.
But you're welcome.
posted by doctornemo at 10:08 AM on January 5, 2021 [3 favorites]
His extra-long member is often key to the wacky situations in which he finds himself
...such as running for public office, resulting in a hung parliament.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:09 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
...such as running for public office, resulting in a hung parliament.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:09 AM on January 5, 2021 [4 favorites]
I'm surprised no one got the sack for proposing this.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:10 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:10 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
I thought I was going to have to change more lyrics than this:
There's a [dick]man waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us
But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a [dick]man waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it
'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile
He told me
Let the children lose it
Let the children use it
Let all the children boogie
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:31 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
There's a [dick]man waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us
But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a [dick]man waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it
'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile
He told me
Let the children lose it
Let the children use it
Let all the children boogie
posted by Huffy Puffy at 10:31 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
A summary of the Facebook thread:
- Kids love it and can’t wait for more episodes.
- Parents ROFL.
- Russian trolls insist this teaches kids to not be afraid of pedofiles and that this programming is a part of a leftist agenda started by the election of Biden.
In other words, the expected.
posted by andreinla at 10:36 AM on January 5, 2021 [3 favorites]
Yeah, in a Danish children's TV context, this is completely harmless. It's just an old guy in pajamas with a funny dick (and wearing a sock on it). We've seen worse.
posted by mumimor at 10:40 AM on January 5, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by mumimor at 10:40 AM on January 5, 2021 [6 favorites]
Children shouldn't be exposed to Danish in the television.
posted by groda at 11:17 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by groda at 11:17 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
Dysk: The word for penis in Danish is penis.
This sounds like a phrase that should make a robot explode.
posted by dr_dank at 11:24 AM on January 5, 2021 [3 favorites]
This sounds like a phrase that should make a robot explode.
posted by dr_dank at 11:24 AM on January 5, 2021 [3 favorites]
Looking forwards to some provocative claymation about Janice Poesjemand and the intrepid shoplifting she gets up to with her cavernous vagina.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:36 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:36 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
I would take this alot more seriously, if they didn't give him a Ron Jeremy moustache...
posted by rozcakj at 11:50 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by rozcakj at 11:50 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
This is charming, and would make excellent viewing combined with the tanuki in Pom Poko and their magic shape-shifting testicles.
posted by Fuchsoid at 12:20 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by Fuchsoid at 12:20 PM on January 5, 2021
Fine, fine, but he's no Eveready Harton...(not at all SFW).
posted by the sobsister at 12:55 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by the sobsister at 12:55 PM on January 5, 2021
I object to entertainment.ie translating dillermand as penis man. The word for penis in Danish is penis. Diller is a slang expression, so it's more like dick man (though still not quite right).
The Closed Captioning translates it as "John Pee-Pee".
posted by madajb at 12:58 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
The Closed Captioning translates it as "John Pee-Pee".
posted by madajb at 12:58 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
I am such a literal person that I was disappointed when I clicked on the link above and saw actors pretending to sleep instead of animated stars, which for me, personally, would be more soothing. But I also appreciated how calm it was and the counter in the top left corner letting you know how many hours it is before programs start again.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:16 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 2:16 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'm in Denmark also -- I ran across the Ramasjang sleep video one night by accident and was instantly entranced. It's lovely.
posted by profreader at 2:50 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by profreader at 2:50 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
I bet that Ernest Hemingway And F. Scott Fitzgerald would approve.
posted by Twang at 3:01 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Twang at 3:01 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
This is really interesting. Had a good chuckle all throughout it, but particularly when he bounced like Tigger in the forest at night... heh
posted by JoeXIII007 at 3:04 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by JoeXIII007 at 3:04 PM on January 5, 2021
From the comments:
Spirillen: Jeg har den længste [I have the longest].
Dillermand: Hold lige min øl [Hold my beer].
I don't know who Spirillen is, but I reckon it's some Danish fellow, real or fictional, who is suddenly in 2nd place.
posted by droplet at 3:34 PM on January 5, 2021
Spirillen: Jeg har den længste [I have the longest].
Dillermand: Hold lige min øl [Hold my beer].
I don't know who Spirillen is, but I reckon it's some Danish fellow, real or fictional, who is suddenly in 2nd place.
posted by droplet at 3:34 PM on January 5, 2021
I bet that Ernest Hemingway And F. Scott Fitzgerald would approve.
Not to mention Longfellow.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:38 PM on January 5, 2021 [7 favorites]
Not to mention Longfellow.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:38 PM on January 5, 2021 [7 favorites]
Uff da.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 4:38 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 4:38 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
I don't know who Spirillen is, but I reckon it's some Danish fellow, real or fictional, who is suddenly in 2nd place
Spirillen is the Danish name for Marsupilami
posted by mumimor at 4:56 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
Spirillen is the Danish name for Marsupilami
posted by mumimor at 4:56 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
Well now I know why everyone seems to think Dutch and Danish are synonyms. This is a late 90s Dutch series, for 6 and older. Purno de purno! Some episodes are unavailable due to Youtube's porn filter...
posted by Psychnic at 5:26 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by Psychnic at 5:26 PM on January 5, 2021
not to be a prude on main, but the real reason not to let your kids watch this is that (according to a facebook comment) little boys are pulling their dillers out and running around imitating him
posted by Countess Elena at 5:37 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by Countess Elena at 5:37 PM on January 5, 2021
also: what I love about this is the name John Dillermand, to most any American, sounds like a perfectly normal, vaguely Midwestern name. Could be a local car salesman, a Congressman, anything
posted by Countess Elena at 5:41 PM on January 5, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 5:41 PM on January 5, 2021 [5 favorites]
John Dillermand
Has a certain "John Everydick" ring to it.
posted by pwnguin at 6:12 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
Has a certain "John Everydick" ring to it.
posted by pwnguin at 6:12 PM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
My kid is a two-and-a-half and we've been potty training recently so he's had a lot more opportunities to be interested in and explore his penis. Including declaring, "MY PENIS!"
He'll totally be into this.
posted by VTX at 6:45 PM on January 5, 2021
He'll totally be into this.
posted by VTX at 6:45 PM on January 5, 2021
*readies guitar riff*
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was doing chores again.
This happens all the time.
It's extendable.
EXTENDABLE... PENIS!
dunnn... dunnnn.....
EXTENDABLE... PENIS!
dunnn... dunnnn.....
posted by delfin at 7:36 PM on January 5, 2021 [5 favorites]
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was doing chores again.
This happens all the time.
It's extendable.
EXTENDABLE... PENIS!
dunnn... dunnnn.....
EXTENDABLE... PENIS!
dunnn... dunnnn.....
posted by delfin at 7:36 PM on January 5, 2021 [5 favorites]
*claps*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:44 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:44 PM on January 5, 2021
*puts down mandolin, tunes guitar*
Bring D for the Dillermand
Steak for the sun
Wine for the woman who made the rain come
Seagulls sing your hearts away
'Cause while the sinners sin, the children play
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:50 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
Bring D for the Dillermand
Steak for the sun
Wine for the woman who made the rain come
Seagulls sing your hearts away
'Cause while the sinners sin, the children play
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:50 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
He's clearly eaten some variety of the Gum-Gum Fruit. I've watched over 290 episodes of 'One Piece' and they still haven't mentioned Luffy's abilities in this area
posted by BinaryApe at 1:07 AM on January 6, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by BinaryApe at 1:07 AM on January 6, 2021 [1 favorite]
not to be a prude on main, but the real reason not to let your kids watch this is that (according to a facebook comment) little boys are pulling their dillers out and running around imitating him
Ah, the old, "Do not put your penis into the pickle slicer, or you'll get fired" warning...
posted by mikelieman at 4:32 AM on January 6, 2021
Ah, the old, "Do not put your penis into the pickle slicer, or you'll get fired" warning...
posted by mikelieman at 4:32 AM on January 6, 2021
Guardian: Denmark launches children's TV show about man with giant penis.
posted by Wordshore at 4:35 AM on January 6, 2021
posted by Wordshore at 4:35 AM on January 6, 2021
For the English release, they can just call him John Johnson.
He comes from Wisconsin!
posted by Spatch at 5:14 AM on January 6, 2021 [4 favorites]
He comes from Wisconsin!
posted by Spatch at 5:14 AM on January 6, 2021 [4 favorites]
I'm sure there are other Danes who will have more insightful commentary than me - I last lived there as a kid, though I have lots of family there and have been back regularly throughout my life (except in 2020), including several three-four month working stints.
And like, I'm in my thirties. Of course this is different to the stuff I watched as a kid (Bamse og Kylling, Kaj og Andrea, and Bubbers Badekar being the ones I recall that weren't imports). It's just that, having been away from Danish kids' TV for decades means I haven't seen the change happen gradually (and I suppose I've probably developed a sensibility that is in some ways more British, having lived here since 18).
But, it's not entirely difficult to see how something like this comes about, from a thousand-foot view, anyway. Denmark has a rich tradition for absurdist humour (often absurdist toilet humour at that). And I guess the development of more space for kids' programming with the launch of Ramasjang, it becomes more plausible to get away with making something that's explicitly and purposefully For kids, and fuck it if the parents don't get it or like it. On reflection, Bubbers Badekar (Bubba's Bathtub, a kids' show presented by a man in a bathtub for reasons that are never adequately explained) is also a bit wtf. I just grew up with it.
Anyway, couple the above with a more generally open and honest attitude to children, with nothing like the pedophilia panic and inherent sexualisation of bodies generally that characterises a lot of the anglosphere, and yeah, it makes perfect sense - it's not like any kids watching this won't know what a penis is, and there is a certain age group that finds toilet humour hilarious almost without fail (while it continues to have a less universal appeal for age groups beyond that).
I'll mention that this is making the news over here when I chat to my mum (a primary school teacher) tonight, though I'm pretty sure I already know exactly what she'll say (the key words I'm expecting are pinligt and åndsvagt).
posted by Dysk at 6:20 AM on January 6, 2021 [2 favorites]
And like, I'm in my thirties. Of course this is different to the stuff I watched as a kid (Bamse og Kylling, Kaj og Andrea, and Bubbers Badekar being the ones I recall that weren't imports). It's just that, having been away from Danish kids' TV for decades means I haven't seen the change happen gradually (and I suppose I've probably developed a sensibility that is in some ways more British, having lived here since 18).
But, it's not entirely difficult to see how something like this comes about, from a thousand-foot view, anyway. Denmark has a rich tradition for absurdist humour (often absurdist toilet humour at that). And I guess the development of more space for kids' programming with the launch of Ramasjang, it becomes more plausible to get away with making something that's explicitly and purposefully For kids, and fuck it if the parents don't get it or like it. On reflection, Bubbers Badekar (Bubba's Bathtub, a kids' show presented by a man in a bathtub for reasons that are never adequately explained) is also a bit wtf. I just grew up with it.
Anyway, couple the above with a more generally open and honest attitude to children, with nothing like the pedophilia panic and inherent sexualisation of bodies generally that characterises a lot of the anglosphere, and yeah, it makes perfect sense - it's not like any kids watching this won't know what a penis is, and there is a certain age group that finds toilet humour hilarious almost without fail (while it continues to have a less universal appeal for age groups beyond that).
I'll mention that this is making the news over here when I chat to my mum (a primary school teacher) tonight, though I'm pretty sure I already know exactly what she'll say (the key words I'm expecting are pinligt and åndsvagt).
posted by Dysk at 6:20 AM on January 6, 2021 [2 favorites]
"a certain age group that finds toilet humour hilarious"
and what age group would that be, exactly? asking for a friend
posted by elkevelvet at 7:25 AM on January 6, 2021 [1 favorite]
and what age group would that be, exactly? asking for a friend
posted by elkevelvet at 7:25 AM on January 6, 2021 [1 favorite]
He's clearly eaten some variety of the Gum-Gum Fruit. I've watched over 290 episodes of 'One Piece' and they still haven't mentioned Luffy's abilities in this area.
You'll need to wait until episode 408 for that.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 11:39 AM on January 6, 2021 [1 favorite]
You'll need to wait until episode 408 for that.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 11:39 AM on January 6, 2021 [1 favorite]
« Older The Man Who Turned Credit-Card Points Into an... | Death, can I see her for one last time? Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:43 AM on January 5, 2021 [34 favorites]