Change your life -- but just a little
January 2, 2022 7:35 PM Subscribe
Cut your work week to 4 days and get your dairy from a milkman?
cries in American
posted by phunniemee at 7:56 PM on January 2, 2022 [75 favorites]
cries in American
posted by phunniemee at 7:56 PM on January 2, 2022 [75 favorites]
>It’s likely a disproportionate amount of your fifth day’s work is taxed anyway
There is in fact a bizarre 10% marginal (12% --> 22%) cliff in the US tax code at $41,775, or $54,725 with the standard deduction added in.
But if one is making ~$55k the Feds will take ~$4800 (9%).
Somehow adding 25% (+$13,000) to your gross, to $68k, will increase your tax burden another ~$3000 to $7800 (~11%) since the marginal rate is 22%.
There is another +8% rise in the marginal rate at $170k, but one day of work at that wage can buy a year of retirement so I think I'd still work it.
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 7:59 PM on January 2, 2022 [3 favorites]
There is in fact a bizarre 10% marginal (12% --> 22%) cliff in the US tax code at $41,775, or $54,725 with the standard deduction added in.
But if one is making ~$55k the Feds will take ~$4800 (9%).
Somehow adding 25% (+$13,000) to your gross, to $68k, will increase your tax burden another ~$3000 to $7800 (~11%) since the marginal rate is 22%.
There is another +8% rise in the marginal rate at $170k, but one day of work at that wage can buy a year of retirement so I think I'd still work it.
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 7:59 PM on January 2, 2022 [3 favorites]
The illustration raises so many questions that the article doesn't answer.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:03 PM on January 2, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 8:03 PM on January 2, 2022 [11 favorites]
4 Bring fruit to work. Bring fruit to bed!
posted by phunniemee at 8:04 PM on January 2, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 8:04 PM on January 2, 2022 [2 favorites]
Did they recycle that list from the 70's and just add a couple mentions of current tech?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:09 PM on January 2, 2022 [16 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:09 PM on January 2, 2022 [16 favorites]
The "fruit in bed" tip would make more sense if the illustration wasn't of an apple. We all know that it's referring to a grapefruit.
posted by Anonymous Function at 8:15 PM on January 2, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by Anonymous Function at 8:15 PM on January 2, 2022 [8 favorites]
you can have sex with any fruit if you really put your mind to it
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:24 PM on January 2, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:24 PM on January 2, 2022 [11 favorites]
4 Bring fruit to work. Bring fruit to bed!
So you're saying we should put a bowl of fruit on it?
posted by jedicus at 8:26 PM on January 2, 2022 [9 favorites]
So you're saying we should put a bowl of fruit on it?
posted by jedicus at 8:26 PM on January 2, 2022 [9 favorites]
100 ways to goose your gooseberries without really trying
posted by phunniemee at 8:27 PM on January 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 8:27 PM on January 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
Wear sunscreen.
posted by mbrubeck at 8:28 PM on January 2, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by mbrubeck at 8:28 PM on January 2, 2022 [7 favorites]
“the quickest supermarket queue is always behind the fullest trolley”
Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
posted by Salamander at 8:50 PM on January 2, 2022 [21 favorites]
Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
posted by Salamander at 8:50 PM on January 2, 2022 [21 favorites]
The quickest line is the one I almost picked, but then didn’t.
posted by curious nu at 8:51 PM on January 2, 2022 [53 favorites]
posted by curious nu at 8:51 PM on January 2, 2022 [53 favorites]
8 Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.
Well hello fellow millennials, human connection sure is something that I, also a human programmed to be appealing to yourselves, have trouble with these days. Don’t we all?
This list is so scattershot! Some of them really are not really trying, and some are like “self analyze your flaws and stop them immediately”. Like, eat more fruit, listen to a wider variety of music, try to avoid using your phone as soothing device, sure. Save money and somehow show kindness to rude people and magically be able to sew your own clothes? I’m sorry, who exactly is the target audience here?
I’m trying not to be a hypocrite and not be snarky about things on the blue, so I do apologize. Let’s be productive and have our own thread of advice that isn’t too hard. I’ll start:
- Put art on your walls, and if it’s too hard to decide, buy a calendar so you get a new picture every month.
- Get the good toilet paper because your butt is worth it.
- Vote #1 quidnunc kid!
posted by Mizu at 9:08 PM on January 2, 2022 [45 favorites]
Well hello fellow millennials, human connection sure is something that I, also a human programmed to be appealing to yourselves, have trouble with these days. Don’t we all?
This list is so scattershot! Some of them really are not really trying, and some are like “self analyze your flaws and stop them immediately”. Like, eat more fruit, listen to a wider variety of music, try to avoid using your phone as soothing device, sure. Save money and somehow show kindness to rude people and magically be able to sew your own clothes? I’m sorry, who exactly is the target audience here?
I’m trying not to be a hypocrite and not be snarky about things on the blue, so I do apologize. Let’s be productive and have our own thread of advice that isn’t too hard. I’ll start:
- Put art on your walls, and if it’s too hard to decide, buy a calendar so you get a new picture every month.
- Get the good toilet paper because your butt is worth it.
- Vote #1 quidnunc kid!
posted by Mizu at 9:08 PM on January 2, 2022 [45 favorites]
Mizu, I agree. I found this list underwhelming and I'd much rather have a crowdsourced list from mefites.
I will add: get an address book. I like looking at the whole list of people who trust me enough to give me their physical address, and let me send them random mail sometimes.
posted by Tesseractive at 9:19 PM on January 2, 2022 [5 favorites]
I will add: get an address book. I like looking at the whole list of people who trust me enough to give me their physical address, and let me send them random mail sometimes.
posted by Tesseractive at 9:19 PM on January 2, 2022 [5 favorites]
Ok, couldn't help it, I ran it through the GPT-3 playground giving the first 4 items as a prompt. Results:
5 See a work colleague in the lift? Get on the other side of the lift.posted by gwint at 9:24 PM on January 2, 2022 [43 favorites]
6 If you’re about to do something you know you shouldn’t, ask yourself why. What are you hoping to achieve?
7 Don’t go back to check your emails or voicemail. Don’t check your emails while you’re on the phone.
8 Leave them alone. You’re not going to kill them.
9 Give up smoking.
10 Leave your shoes at the door, or at least at the back of the wardrobe.
11 If you have to choose between saving time and saving money, save time. Nothing is more valuable.
12 Add up how much time you spend on Facebook in a week. Now ask yourself whether you can live without it.
13 Exercise on a Monday night
This article was amended on 2 January 2022 to remove advice in point 23 that is not applicable in all circumstances.
23 is the “drink water before bed to minimize hangovers“. According to the Internet Archive (your friend and mine), the removed advice is “and two paracetamols”. I imagine The Guardian is cautious about dispensing medical advice in end of year fluff pieces.
posted by zamboni at 9:24 PM on January 2, 2022 [6 favorites]
23 is the “drink water before bed to minimize hangovers“. According to the Internet Archive (your friend and mine), the removed advice is “and two paracetamols”. I imagine The Guardian is cautious about dispensing medical advice in end of year fluff pieces.
posted by zamboni at 9:24 PM on January 2, 2022 [6 favorites]
btw, here's a good AskMe thread if you want some real answers
posted by gwint at 9:29 PM on January 2, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by gwint at 9:29 PM on January 2, 2022 [12 favorites]
> Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.
i recently ran into an old acquaintance friend from the LSD days of past whom i hadn't seen in 25 years. we exchanged numbers then parted ways. he insisted on doing this voice note shit and it only took me 2 of them before i quit listening and decided that some friendships just aren't worth rekindling
also? may i do this one? thanks for leaving it for me...
101 quit reading the guardian 🏌️♀️
posted by glonous keming at 9:33 PM on January 2, 2022 [20 favorites]
i recently ran into an old acquaintance friend from the LSD days of past whom i hadn't seen in 25 years. we exchanged numbers then parted ways. he insisted on doing this voice note shit and it only took me 2 of them before i quit listening and decided that some friendships just aren't worth rekindling
also? may i do this one? thanks for leaving it for me...
101 quit reading the guardian 🏌️♀️
posted by glonous keming at 9:33 PM on January 2, 2022 [20 favorites]
Written by a human furnace, apparently. No friggin way am I standing outside barefoot in the slush or taking a cold shower, my aged body would simply assume I was trying to die and help me out, I'm sure of that.
posted by maxwelton at 9:41 PM on January 2, 2022 [16 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 9:41 PM on January 2, 2022 [16 favorites]
It sounds suspiciously like someone's trying to sneak in a couple doofus New Year's resolutions in on me.
Now, seriously, winning a lottery for "just" 1 million wouldn't change my life all that much. I figure we could fix this house up and sell it for 175K. Then spend about 500K to get a house with a couple acres of irrigated land and a small barn or nice shed for the horses. Do any fixing up needing done. Set up solar power. New mid-range appliances. New beds. There goes over half of it. A newer car, a new truck, and a nice newer used horse trailer. A new or different saddle. Replace some of the older, but still serviceable tack, just for 'cause it would be fun. Pay off my medical bills. Both of us with cataract surgery. A new knee. Husband to ear specialist. Help grandkids with school and dental bills. One 2-week trip to Europe. We could visit the other grandkids in NM a couple times over the next couple years. Boom, it's gone. Life then goes on slightly improved, but still with the same old day-to-day routine. Less stress with things not breaking down as much and everybody healthy.
I just KNEW they'd say something about drinking water!
posted by BlueHorse at 9:45 PM on January 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
Now, seriously, winning a lottery for "just" 1 million wouldn't change my life all that much. I figure we could fix this house up and sell it for 175K. Then spend about 500K to get a house with a couple acres of irrigated land and a small barn or nice shed for the horses. Do any fixing up needing done. Set up solar power. New mid-range appliances. New beds. There goes over half of it. A newer car, a new truck, and a nice newer used horse trailer. A new or different saddle. Replace some of the older, but still serviceable tack, just for 'cause it would be fun. Pay off my medical bills. Both of us with cataract surgery. A new knee. Husband to ear specialist. Help grandkids with school and dental bills. One 2-week trip to Europe. We could visit the other grandkids in NM a couple times over the next couple years. Boom, it's gone. Life then goes on slightly improved, but still with the same old day-to-day routine. Less stress with things not breaking down as much and everybody healthy.
I just KNEW they'd say something about drinking water!
posted by BlueHorse at 9:45 PM on January 2, 2022 [1 favorite]
Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.
Insane, terrible advice, amazing.
6 If you’re about to do something you know you shouldn’t, ask yourself why. What are you hoping to achieve?
That's not bad! I've had some success pulling back from the brink of dumbassery by asking "What will it change?" or "What do you hope will change?"
The dumb lifehack I added over the past year or so? If you're planning to watch a movie or show with a known Talker, watch it alone behorehand, and don't tell them. They can jabber away, and you'll know when it safe to leave and go pee or whatever.
posted by EatTheWeek at 9:58 PM on January 2, 2022 [19 favorites]
Insane, terrible advice, amazing.
6 If you’re about to do something you know you shouldn’t, ask yourself why. What are you hoping to achieve?
That's not bad! I've had some success pulling back from the brink of dumbassery by asking "What will it change?" or "What do you hope will change?"
The dumb lifehack I added over the past year or so? If you're planning to watch a movie or show with a known Talker, watch it alone behorehand, and don't tell them. They can jabber away, and you'll know when it safe to leave and go pee or whatever.
posted by EatTheWeek at 9:58 PM on January 2, 2022 [19 favorites]
I will add: get an address book. I like looking at the whole list of people who trust me
On the other hand, finding an address book you had from twenty years ago will fill you with melancholy. Asked me how I know.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:19 PM on January 2, 2022 [20 favorites]
On the other hand, finding an address book you had from twenty years ago will fill you with melancholy. Asked me how I know.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:19 PM on January 2, 2022 [20 favorites]
Get the good toilet paper because your butt is worth it.
I was talking a couple of weeks ago to the smartest person I know. She asked me, “Was it you who gave me the advice about shoes and bedsheets? I think it was you.” I said it didn’t ring a bell. She said, “Someone told me years ago that you should always splurge for really good shoes and bed linens, because if you’re not in one, you’re in the other.”
I said it sounded like something I would have suggested, and I would act on this advice. Dear AskMe: how do I tell if I have entered a closed timelike curve?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:26 PM on January 2, 2022 [18 favorites]
I was talking a couple of weeks ago to the smartest person I know. She asked me, “Was it you who gave me the advice about shoes and bedsheets? I think it was you.” I said it didn’t ring a bell. She said, “Someone told me years ago that you should always splurge for really good shoes and bed linens, because if you’re not in one, you’re in the other.”
I said it sounded like something I would have suggested, and I would act on this advice. Dear AskMe: how do I tell if I have entered a closed timelike curve?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:26 PM on January 2, 2022 [18 favorites]
23 is the “drink water before bed to minimize hangovers“. According to the Internet Archive (your friend and mine), the removed advice is “and two paracetamols”. I imagine The Guardian is cautious about dispensing medical advice in end of year fluff pieces.
Well, that and paracetamols are the British equivalent of Tylenol, which will do considerable damage to your liver -- terrible and possibly life-changing or life-ending advise to give to those who had enough alcohol to get a hangover.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:38 PM on January 2, 2022 [10 favorites]
Well, that and paracetamols are the British equivalent of Tylenol, which will do considerable damage to your liver -- terrible and possibly life-changing or life-ending advise to give to those who had enough alcohol to get a hangover.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:38 PM on January 2, 2022 [10 favorites]
I like the idea of crowdsourcing actually-useful tips rather than just beating the stuffing out of TFA.
Mine would be: find a type of pen or pencil that you like that's not terribly expensive, and buy a bunch of them (like, a dozen at least). Put a couple of them in every bag/purse/whatever that you carry around. Don't beat yourself up too much if they get lost.
If there's room in the bag, feel free to throw in a notebook too, but put the pens/pencils in there anyway if you can't. It's relatively easy to find things to write on, finding something you want to write with is often harder.
There are tons of situations where having a pen on your person is quite useful (being asked to fill out surprise paperwork, server forgetting to give you a pen with the credit card slip at a restaurant, etc.) and like Douglas Adams' towel, it makes people believe you are a very put-together sort of person, even if said pen is literally the only thing you possess.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:54 PM on January 2, 2022 [28 favorites]
Mine would be: find a type of pen or pencil that you like that's not terribly expensive, and buy a bunch of them (like, a dozen at least). Put a couple of them in every bag/purse/whatever that you carry around. Don't beat yourself up too much if they get lost.
If there's room in the bag, feel free to throw in a notebook too, but put the pens/pencils in there anyway if you can't. It's relatively easy to find things to write on, finding something you want to write with is often harder.
There are tons of situations where having a pen on your person is quite useful (being asked to fill out surprise paperwork, server forgetting to give you a pen with the credit card slip at a restaurant, etc.) and like Douglas Adams' towel, it makes people believe you are a very put-together sort of person, even if said pen is literally the only thing you possess.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:54 PM on January 2, 2022 [28 favorites]
“the quickest supermarket queue is always behind the fullest trolley”
Here an explanation of this from mathematician Dan Meyer @ddmeyer - somebody with big, 100 item cart- will take about 6 minutes to process (3 seconds to ring up each) . But 4 people with a shopping basket of 20 items - takes 7 minutes - because of all the time lost to payments, hello/goodbye, getting out of the lane. You are also better with lines where the cashier is on the left and with female cashiers, apparently. Argue with Dan not me!
posted by rongorongo at 12:02 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Here an explanation of this from mathematician Dan Meyer @ddmeyer - somebody with big, 100 item cart- will take about 6 minutes to process (3 seconds to ring up each) . But 4 people with a shopping basket of 20 items - takes 7 minutes - because of all the time lost to payments, hello/goodbye, getting out of the lane. You are also better with lines where the cashier is on the left and with female cashiers, apparently. Argue with Dan not me!
posted by rongorongo at 12:02 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Get with child a mandrake root
posted by thelonius at 1:37 AM on January 3, 2022 [20 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 1:37 AM on January 3, 2022 [20 favorites]
As a plus-size (but really, with modern manufacturing this is for everyone) person, my favourite life-improving tip is, once i find a t-shirt etc that fits, especially for indoor wear that looks fine when you go out (tropical weather considerations in a moralistic society for me so i want something not too sheer but i can survive in without needing the AC), BUY MULTIPLES. Maybe in different colours if that's your thing but just buy enough for 1.5 laundry cycle.
And a few others:
1. Same thing with pens. Enough to stash in every bag you regularly use.
2. Get a car or cordless vacuum. I find I'm much better at staying on top of things if i treat cleaning as opportunistically as possible.
3. Take a photo at least once a day. You can go through it later. Helpful for absent-minded ppl like me.
3a. Take screenshots of a book you like. Okay, this is because i don't live in an Amazon ecosystem.
4. Text-to-speech apps are so great when you want to make a dent on all the great longreads you're being linked to.
posted by cendawanita at 1:45 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
And a few others:
1. Same thing with pens. Enough to stash in every bag you regularly use.
2. Get a car or cordless vacuum. I find I'm much better at staying on top of things if i treat cleaning as opportunistically as possible.
3. Take a photo at least once a day. You can go through it later. Helpful for absent-minded ppl like me.
3a. Take screenshots of a book you like. Okay, this is because i don't live in an Amazon ecosystem.
4. Text-to-speech apps are so great when you want to make a dent on all the great longreads you're being linked to.
posted by cendawanita at 1:45 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Oh oh! 5) Get a water flosser! I'm easily entertained and I'm actually flossing!
posted by cendawanita at 1:48 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 1:48 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
65 Instead of buying a morning coffee, set up a daily transfer of £2 from a current into a savings account and forget about it. Use it to treat yourself to something different later.
The problem I have with this is that the morning coffee is my small morning treat which improves my life!
posted by vacapinta at 2:20 AM on January 3, 2022 [26 favorites]
The problem I have with this is that the morning coffee is my small morning treat which improves my life!
posted by vacapinta at 2:20 AM on January 3, 2022 [26 favorites]
The problem I have with this is that the morning coffee is my small morning treat which improves my life!
How do you expect to ever afford avocado toast?
posted by thelonius at 2:24 AM on January 3, 2022 [18 favorites]
How do you expect to ever afford avocado toast?
posted by thelonius at 2:24 AM on January 3, 2022 [18 favorites]
use J and K to scroll through tweets on windows desktop
there, a small improvement
posted by andreaazure at 3:13 AM on January 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
there, a small improvement
posted by andreaazure at 3:13 AM on January 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.
No. No. A thousand times no.
posted by acb at 3:37 AM on January 3, 2022 [19 favorites]
No. No. A thousand times no.
posted by acb at 3:37 AM on January 3, 2022 [19 favorites]
Last winter I started chewing xylitol gum after every meal, and it really has made my mouth feel better. I carry a little pack of gum on me as I’m out and about during my day.
After meals my mouth would feel sour, and sometimes I’d get little stings. That has completely gone away.
posted by Kattullus at 4:16 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
After meals my mouth would feel sour, and sometimes I’d get little stings. That has completely gone away.
posted by Kattullus at 4:16 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
57 Every so often, search your email for the word “unsubscribe” and then use it on as many as you can.
Don't do that, unless you're very, very sure who de email is coming from, and even then, it's probably better to go to their website and unsubscribe there.
posted by rjs at 4:17 AM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Don't do that, unless you're very, very sure who de email is coming from, and even then, it's probably better to go to their website and unsubscribe there.
posted by rjs at 4:17 AM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
I love the voice messages from my kids. So send them to your mom!
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 4:30 AM on January 3, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 4:30 AM on January 3, 2022 [9 favorites]
I think I'd like voice notes from far off friends that I don't see often, because hearing their voices itself would make me happy. But not for everyday contact, o no.
posted by Frowner at 4:46 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 4:46 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
35 Eat salted butter (life’s too short for unsalted).
Nope.
Use unsalted butter and sprinkle it with sea-salt.
posted by signal at 4:55 AM on January 3, 2022 [9 favorites]
Nope.
Use unsalted butter and sprinkle it with sea-salt.
posted by signal at 4:55 AM on January 3, 2022 [9 favorites]
Kadin2048: ", server forgetting to give you a pen with the credit card slip at a restaurant, etc"
Where do they still expect you to sign a piece of paper to use a credit card? Honest question, didn't know this was still a thing.
posted by signal at 4:57 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Where do they still expect you to sign a piece of paper to use a credit card? Honest question, didn't know this was still a thing.
posted by signal at 4:57 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Well, that and paracetamols are the British equivalent of Tylenol, which will do considerable damage to your liver -- terrible and possibly life-changing or life-ending advise to give to those who had enough alcohol to get a hangover.
I’d be interested to see a reputable citation for this. My understanding is that outside of impaired liver function, and/or truly excessive consumption of alcohol or acetaminophen, you’re fine.
posted by zamboni at 5:02 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
I’d be interested to see a reputable citation for this. My understanding is that outside of impaired liver function, and/or truly excessive consumption of alcohol or acetaminophen, you’re fine.
posted by zamboni at 5:02 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Where do they still expect you to sign a piece of paper to use a credit card? Honest question, didn't know this was still a thing.
Every restaurant in the US where you pay at the table.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:04 AM on January 3, 2022 [14 favorites]
Every restaurant in the US where you pay at the table.
posted by Fleebnork at 5:04 AM on January 3, 2022 [14 favorites]
17 Don’t be weird about how to stack the dishwasher.
Dirty side down FTW.
posted by emelenjr at 5:57 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Dirty side down FTW.
posted by emelenjr at 5:57 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Fleebnork: " Every restaurant in the US where you pay at the table."
Trippy, reminds me of the quote attributed to Gibson: "“The future is already here. It's just not evenly distributed yet”
posted by signal at 6:02 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Trippy, reminds me of the quote attributed to Gibson: "“The future is already here. It's just not evenly distributed yet”
posted by signal at 6:02 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
"Where do they still expect you to sign a piece of paper to use a credit card? Honest question, didn't know this was still a thing."
I was in the UK for three weeks in November. Apparently when I told my US bank that I was going to be in the UK they hit a checkbox in their system that meant I had to sign a receipt for every purchase I made.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 6:32 AM on January 3, 2022
I was in the UK for three weeks in November. Apparently when I told my US bank that I was going to be in the UK they hit a checkbox in their system that meant I had to sign a receipt for every purchase I made.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 6:32 AM on January 3, 2022
Floss
posted by hypnogogue at 6:35 AM on January 3, 2022
posted by hypnogogue at 6:35 AM on January 3, 2022
These tips won't work for everyone, but they certainly improved my life:
- Wear perfectly flat shoes with wide toe boxes. (And if your feet aren't strong enough to do this, do it in small increments of a couple hours a day and eventually they will be.) I started doing this in my late 40s and my feet returned to their natural size, 1.5 sizes bigger than the shoes I'd been wearing for 20+ years.
- Buy quality sheets and towels, preferably linen for both. Invest in a great pillow, one you can adjust the height of. I suggest TheWoolRoom.
- Travel every chance you get. If you aren't in a position to get those chances, get a dog.
- Carry a purse.
- getquip.com (so damn convenient and amazing for travel!).
- Skin your phone; lose the case and be more thoughtful when handling it.
- Get wireless headphones.
- Get an air fryer.
- Install tracking around your home to make it easier to hang and rehang art.
- Only ever travel carry-on.
- Subscribe to (a) great magazine(s). I suggest Apartamento, Berlin Quarterly, MacGuffin, Point.51, Delayed Gratification...
- Lose the gears and ride a single speed bike. Wear a great helmet; use an Orp (or equivalent), and front and back lights.
- Buy the best quality clothing you can afford and ditch fast fashion.
- Cancel Amazon Prime and ditch all Facebook and Meta-owned apps.
- Listen to poetry.
- Switch from Audible to Libro.
- Move to Vanuatu. (I'm still working on this one, so will suggest "Visit Vanuatu".)
posted by dobbs at 6:38 AM on January 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
- Wear perfectly flat shoes with wide toe boxes. (And if your feet aren't strong enough to do this, do it in small increments of a couple hours a day and eventually they will be.) I started doing this in my late 40s and my feet returned to their natural size, 1.5 sizes bigger than the shoes I'd been wearing for 20+ years.
- Buy quality sheets and towels, preferably linen for both. Invest in a great pillow, one you can adjust the height of. I suggest TheWoolRoom.
- Travel every chance you get. If you aren't in a position to get those chances, get a dog.
- Carry a purse.
- getquip.com (so damn convenient and amazing for travel!).
- Skin your phone; lose the case and be more thoughtful when handling it.
- Get wireless headphones.
- Get an air fryer.
- Install tracking around your home to make it easier to hang and rehang art.
- Only ever travel carry-on.
- Subscribe to (a) great magazine(s). I suggest Apartamento, Berlin Quarterly, MacGuffin, Point.51, Delayed Gratification...
- Lose the gears and ride a single speed bike. Wear a great helmet; use an Orp (or equivalent), and front and back lights.
- Buy the best quality clothing you can afford and ditch fast fashion.
- Cancel Amazon Prime and ditch all Facebook and Meta-owned apps.
- Listen to poetry.
- Switch from Audible to Libro.
- Move to Vanuatu. (I'm still working on this one, so will suggest "Visit Vanuatu".)
posted by dobbs at 6:38 AM on January 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
Take a photo at least once a day. You can go through it later. Helpful for absent-minded ppl like me.
There is an app called 1 Second a Day, wherein you can drop one second of video (or a still, if you like) of your choice from your smartphone into it, and then later review it, either as a static grid or playing back one second per day for whatever span you care to. I suppose the aim is to have mini-movies of “Remember When?” — I certainly just watched 2021 get replayed in six minutes and change — but I also find it helpful for certain admin tasks: I’ve had my doctor’s office ask me when it was I last went in for blood work and where I used to wave my hands and say, “Uh, maybe early summer?” I can now say, “Let me check... June 5th.” As with the pen idea above, it conveys an impression I am organized and on the ball when in truth, not so much.
As for the actual one photo a day, I undertook a project about 20 years ago, back before these sorts of projects were as common as now: I had been thinking about John Ruskin’s idea to get people to sketch because if you devote your attention to, say, a tree long enough to render a decent sketch of it, you see it differently than if you were to just look at it for a second of two.
I decided I was going to photograph the same tree every day for a year and see what I discerned about it. There was a small park a block from my house — for those who know Toronto, it was Hillcrest Park, at Christie and Davenport. As it says on the tin, the park is on the edge of a long low escarpment, and I lived below the ridge, with my front door probably ten metres below the main area of the park. Thus I actually had to climb the stairs at the south end of the park every morning, which came to be a minor ritual and a precursor to the act itself, like a cartoon seeker after enlightenment ascending the mountain to speak to the hermit at the top.
On New Years Day, I walked over and chose a tree that was nicely framed by the default lens I usually kept on my Pentax SP-1000 and set up the photo nicely, noting where I was standing so I could reproduce the angle for future days. I took a photo and subsequently returned morning after morning to recreate the picture. And to be sure, I did come to see things I never would have seen otherwise. The park is not large, so visible in the distance were the row of houses on Hillcrest Drive. I noticed in the first batch of photos a little splash of colour that I initially took to be a flag hanging over the garage door of one of the houses. I gradually became aware it was actually a flag caught in a tree at the far side of the park. I saw the swiftness with which spring arrived; I think on the 16th of March there was the first gaps visible in the snow cover, but by March 21st, the snow was entirely gone. The retreat of the snow revealed I had been catching one corner of a basketball court in my frame for three months without ever knowing it.
Sadly, this was the year I moved away from Toronto (at Halloween) so I never finished my year. And also one of my last hurrahs with a film camera before going digital a year or two later. I still have the SP-1000 in its case in the basement, but I have not taken a picture with it in years.
Perhaps five years ago I found a roll of undeveloped film in a box. I no longer have access to a darkroom so I had to track down one of the few camera shops that still develops film. I was not entirely surprised to find 36 more photos of the same goddamn tree. Great.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:53 AM on January 3, 2022 [11 favorites]
There is an app called 1 Second a Day, wherein you can drop one second of video (or a still, if you like) of your choice from your smartphone into it, and then later review it, either as a static grid or playing back one second per day for whatever span you care to. I suppose the aim is to have mini-movies of “Remember When?” — I certainly just watched 2021 get replayed in six minutes and change — but I also find it helpful for certain admin tasks: I’ve had my doctor’s office ask me when it was I last went in for blood work and where I used to wave my hands and say, “Uh, maybe early summer?” I can now say, “Let me check... June 5th.” As with the pen idea above, it conveys an impression I am organized and on the ball when in truth, not so much.
As for the actual one photo a day, I undertook a project about 20 years ago, back before these sorts of projects were as common as now: I had been thinking about John Ruskin’s idea to get people to sketch because if you devote your attention to, say, a tree long enough to render a decent sketch of it, you see it differently than if you were to just look at it for a second of two.
I decided I was going to photograph the same tree every day for a year and see what I discerned about it. There was a small park a block from my house — for those who know Toronto, it was Hillcrest Park, at Christie and Davenport. As it says on the tin, the park is on the edge of a long low escarpment, and I lived below the ridge, with my front door probably ten metres below the main area of the park. Thus I actually had to climb the stairs at the south end of the park every morning, which came to be a minor ritual and a precursor to the act itself, like a cartoon seeker after enlightenment ascending the mountain to speak to the hermit at the top.
On New Years Day, I walked over and chose a tree that was nicely framed by the default lens I usually kept on my Pentax SP-1000 and set up the photo nicely, noting where I was standing so I could reproduce the angle for future days. I took a photo and subsequently returned morning after morning to recreate the picture. And to be sure, I did come to see things I never would have seen otherwise. The park is not large, so visible in the distance were the row of houses on Hillcrest Drive. I noticed in the first batch of photos a little splash of colour that I initially took to be a flag hanging over the garage door of one of the houses. I gradually became aware it was actually a flag caught in a tree at the far side of the park. I saw the swiftness with which spring arrived; I think on the 16th of March there was the first gaps visible in the snow cover, but by March 21st, the snow was entirely gone. The retreat of the snow revealed I had been catching one corner of a basketball court in my frame for three months without ever knowing it.
Sadly, this was the year I moved away from Toronto (at Halloween) so I never finished my year. And also one of my last hurrahs with a film camera before going digital a year or two later. I still have the SP-1000 in its case in the basement, but I have not taken a picture with it in years.
Perhaps five years ago I found a roll of undeveloped film in a box. I no longer have access to a darkroom so I had to track down one of the few camera shops that still develops film. I was not entirely surprised to find 36 more photos of the same goddamn tree. Great.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:53 AM on January 3, 2022 [11 favorites]
I kind of like the idea of using the voice recording option instead of text messages but only if you want deniability about something, along the lines of "hey I left you a message, not my fault if you never listened to it."
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced it could actually simplify a few situations...
posted by rpfields at 7:24 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced it could actually simplify a few situations...
posted by rpfields at 7:24 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Reading this list is like being trapped in a lift with a chatty person I have to physically restrain myself from slapping.
4 Bring fruit to work. Bring fruit to bed!
A melon for ecstasy.
posted by Grangousier at 7:31 AM on January 3, 2022 [10 favorites]
4 Bring fruit to work. Bring fruit to bed!
A melon for ecstasy.
posted by Grangousier at 7:31 AM on January 3, 2022 [10 favorites]
- Travel somewhere by train (it's awesome!)
- If a little scrap of paper towel falls from the dispenser onto the floor when you grab one, pick it up. Pick up anything you cause to fall to the floor, no matter how small or incidental it is.
- Return shopping carts to one corral closer to the store than you have to.
- Drive 5mph under the speed limit on local roads.
- Always do carry out at restaurants. Eat in the car if you must. Tip generously.
- Always wear a mask even if you're fully vaccinated and boosted.
- Find a boardwalk through the woods and walk it.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:43 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
- If a little scrap of paper towel falls from the dispenser onto the floor when you grab one, pick it up. Pick up anything you cause to fall to the floor, no matter how small or incidental it is.
- Return shopping carts to one corral closer to the store than you have to.
- Drive 5mph under the speed limit on local roads.
- Always do carry out at restaurants. Eat in the car if you must. Tip generously.
- Always wear a mask even if you're fully vaccinated and boosted.
- Find a boardwalk through the woods and walk it.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:43 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
- Drive 5mph under the speed limit on local roads.
improve your life by getting yourself almost immediately murdered
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:47 AM on January 3, 2022 [30 favorites]
improve your life by getting yourself almost immediately murdered
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:47 AM on January 3, 2022 [30 favorites]
Have your butler decant the Chateau Margaux into a gold-rimmed carafe! It's so cheerful and worth the extra few dollars.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:04 AM on January 3, 2022 [19 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:04 AM on January 3, 2022 [19 favorites]
I ran it through the GPT-3 playground
Don't stop there. Try "My 10 point plan for global domination is as follows:". It really works!
posted by The Half Language Plant at 8:16 AM on January 3, 2022
Don't stop there. Try "My 10 point plan for global domination is as follows:". It really works!
posted by The Half Language Plant at 8:16 AM on January 3, 2022
If someone left me a vm I would immediately be anxious about why they called and left me vm because whyyyyyyy are you calling me someone must be dead otherwise you would have just texted.
posted by archimago at 8:19 AM on January 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by archimago at 8:19 AM on January 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
dobbs > - Lose the gears and ride a single speed bike. Wear a great helmet; use an Orp (or equivalent), and front and back lights.
How does a single speed bike improve the experience? I find being able to downshift to take off quickly when stopped, and upshifting to cruise along at speed while keeping a slow cadence on the petals, to be an immense upgrade in the pleasurability of cycling. And I can’t even begin to imagine it being a good time to grind my way up a hill on a single speed, I don’t have to do that any more now that I live in New Orleans instead of Seattle but climbing steep hills sucks even with the lowest gears possible. But even on flat ground shifting is super important to making my daily bicycle commutes less of a battle and more of a pleasure.
posted by egypturnash at 8:27 AM on January 3, 2022 [7 favorites]
How does a single speed bike improve the experience? I find being able to downshift to take off quickly when stopped, and upshifting to cruise along at speed while keeping a slow cadence on the petals, to be an immense upgrade in the pleasurability of cycling. And I can’t even begin to imagine it being a good time to grind my way up a hill on a single speed, I don’t have to do that any more now that I live in New Orleans instead of Seattle but climbing steep hills sucks even with the lowest gears possible. But even on flat ground shifting is super important to making my daily bicycle commutes less of a battle and more of a pleasure.
posted by egypturnash at 8:27 AM on January 3, 2022 [7 favorites]
The only one I can get behind is about reusing bread bags. Lots of food packaging can be reused, especially the resealable ones, and the greater variation in sizes and sturdiness give one more choice than ziploc bags.
In our house a box of ziploc bags lasts for years.
posted by of strange foe at 8:48 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
In our house a box of ziploc bags lasts for years.
posted by of strange foe at 8:48 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Not just pens. Get multiples of all useful items you leave the house with. Key(s) for every bag you usually use. Packs of tissue in all. Little thingies of ibuprofen everywhere. Etc. Eliminating the stress of having to remember whether you have everything is priceless.
posted by praemunire at 8:50 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 8:50 AM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Get the good toilet paper because your butt is worth it.
This is well outside the realm of “small things” but I’ve resolved this is the year to get a bidet.
(A major issue with nice tp is that it’s much more likely to clog. Super not fun to have to choose between a scratchy butt and sewage backing up into our basement!)
Get an air fryer.
This x1000! I got one for Christmas and it’s already changed my (culinary) life. The intersection of “fresh healthy food” and “food I can prepare with edible results” grew exponentially, literally overnight.
posted by bjrubble at 9:09 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
This is well outside the realm of “small things” but I’ve resolved this is the year to get a bidet.
(A major issue with nice tp is that it’s much more likely to clog. Super not fun to have to choose between a scratchy butt and sewage backing up into our basement!)
Get an air fryer.
This x1000! I got one for Christmas and it’s already changed my (culinary) life. The intersection of “fresh healthy food” and “food I can prepare with edible results” grew exponentially, literally overnight.
posted by bjrubble at 9:09 AM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Leave a voicemail instead of a text. If you forget why you called, spend the first 30 seconds of the voicemail organizing your thoughts. Devote the next 30 seconds to your own stream-of-consciousness. Spend another 30 letting the caller know who you are, what day and time it is (take all the time you need to check your calendar and clock), and what number you called from. Interrupt yourself as necessary to argue with your dog. Hang up only when you feel like it.
No matter how long your message is, they should be able to listen to it, memorize its contents, sift out the useful bits, and call you back within ten seconds. If they don't, just call again and leave another voicemail to follow up. Repeat all the information from your previous voicemail.
Respond to emails with a voicemail. Respond to handwritten correspondence with a voicemail. Respond to in-person greetings, pleasantries, and leave-takings with a voicemail.
posted by armeowda at 9:30 AM on January 3, 2022 [12 favorites]
No matter how long your message is, they should be able to listen to it, memorize its contents, sift out the useful bits, and call you back within ten seconds. If they don't, just call again and leave another voicemail to follow up. Repeat all the information from your previous voicemail.
Respond to emails with a voicemail. Respond to handwritten correspondence with a voicemail. Respond to in-person greetings, pleasantries, and leave-takings with a voicemail.
posted by armeowda at 9:30 AM on January 3, 2022 [12 favorites]
Drive 5mph under the speed limit on local roads.
improve your life by getting yourself almost immediately murdered
LOL traffic violence, eh? Stop being so fragile when you've got a crumple zone behind you.
posted by ambrosen at 9:34 AM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
improve your life by getting yourself almost immediately murdered
LOL traffic violence, eh? Stop being so fragile when you've got a crumple zone behind you.
posted by ambrosen at 9:34 AM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
Buy and disperse so many guitar picks that when you lose one it pushes another previously missing one back into view.
posted by signal at 9:37 AM on January 3, 2022 [18 favorites]
posted by signal at 9:37 AM on January 3, 2022 [18 favorites]
Stop being so fragile when you've got a crumple zone behind you.
- Get a better job so you can be less "fragile" and afford medical and car repair bills.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:38 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
- Get a better job so you can be less "fragile" and afford medical and car repair bills.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:38 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Voice messages on WhatsApp are great, come on
When I lived in China, sending voice notes was considered an overt power move - you are saving yourself the time it would have taken to compose your thoughts and type them out, while wasting the recipient's time in listening to it (maybe several times if the voice note contains important information halfway through).
A boss would send a voice note to their junior, but it would be a professional misstep to send a voice note to your boss. And most people I knew applied the same standard to communication outside of work - someone sending you a voice note was explicitly valuing their time more highly than yours.
Got to say that I find that reading quite convincing and have tended to apply it to voice notes ever since.
How does a single speed bike improve the experience?
Really depends where you live! Flat cities are fine for single speed or fixed gear and it makes doing your own maintenance a lot simpler.
That said, single speed has always felt like the worst of both worlds for me. Why not go the whole way and switch to fixed gear? It's a lot more fun than single speed, and you've already taken most of the hit to your practicality by giving up a gears. With many single speed builds it's as simple as flipping the rear wheel.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 9:43 AM on January 3, 2022 [11 favorites]
When I lived in China, sending voice notes was considered an overt power move - you are saving yourself the time it would have taken to compose your thoughts and type them out, while wasting the recipient's time in listening to it (maybe several times if the voice note contains important information halfway through).
A boss would send a voice note to their junior, but it would be a professional misstep to send a voice note to your boss. And most people I knew applied the same standard to communication outside of work - someone sending you a voice note was explicitly valuing their time more highly than yours.
Got to say that I find that reading quite convincing and have tended to apply it to voice notes ever since.
How does a single speed bike improve the experience?
Really depends where you live! Flat cities are fine for single speed or fixed gear and it makes doing your own maintenance a lot simpler.
That said, single speed has always felt like the worst of both worlds for me. Why not go the whole way and switch to fixed gear? It's a lot more fun than single speed, and you've already taken most of the hit to your practicality by giving up a gears. With many single speed builds it's as simple as flipping the rear wheel.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 9:43 AM on January 3, 2022 [11 favorites]
The intersection of “fresh healthy food” and “food I can prepare with edible results” grew exponentially, literally overnight.
I got an air fryer last year, in an attempt to make chicken* kara-agé in a healthier and less messy fashion than by deep frying. It sort of worked. After that, I've mostly used it in lieu of roasting potatoes; they came out well enough for me to not have looked back. I should probably find some other ways to use it.
posted by acb at 10:09 AM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
I got an air fryer last year, in an attempt to make chicken* kara-agé in a healthier and less messy fashion than by deep frying. It sort of worked. After that, I've mostly used it in lieu of roasting potatoes; they came out well enough for me to not have looked back. I should probably find some other ways to use it.
posted by acb at 10:09 AM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
My own small tips feel a bit obvious but fwiw here they are anyway:
+ Exercise daily! There are lots of 20 min (or 10 min, or 5 min) routines on YT and elsewhere, if incorporating regular walking / cycling / gardening / gym visits isn't straightforward. But don't think of it as something you do for physical fitness - although it helps with that as a happy side effect - it's entirely for your mental health and mood. Owen Jones explains his conversion here.
+ Don't save nice things for a day that will never arrive. Use them! A twitter user puts it nicely:
(Whereas my big tips for improving your life are things like "delete all social media" "quit your job" and "go and live in another country" but they aren't in the spirit of the OP - which I think is supposed to be small tweaks to an otherwise contented middle-class British existence, which is why it sounds so incredibly pleased with itself.)
posted by chappell, ambrose at 10:13 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
+ Exercise daily! There are lots of 20 min (or 10 min, or 5 min) routines on YT and elsewhere, if incorporating regular walking / cycling / gardening / gym visits isn't straightforward. But don't think of it as something you do for physical fitness - although it helps with that as a happy side effect - it's entirely for your mental health and mood. Owen Jones explains his conversion here.
+ Don't save nice things for a day that will never arrive. Use them! A twitter user puts it nicely:
The best New Year's resolution I ever made was to start devouring all my nicest things, and save no small pleasure for an unspecified future. Now I burn the good candles, wear the expensive perfume at home, scribble imperfectly in pretty notebooks. You can't pin joy like a moth.+ Consider bullet journaling: it's a way that you can use those beautiful notebooks that you're no longer saving. It's like a journal and also a to-do list? But the "system", such as it is, is pretty flexible and you're encouraged to stick in all kinds of random pages of sketches, or get-rich-quick ideas, or plans to learn French, or the reminders about how many different YT videos of exercise you've done this week. Oh and writing things in longhand is supposed to be better for remembering them [NB: I have no idea what the evidence for this is! It feels plausible to me but could be completely apocryphal].
(Whereas my big tips for improving your life are things like "delete all social media" "quit your job" and "go and live in another country" but they aren't in the spirit of the OP - which I think is supposed to be small tweaks to an otherwise contented middle-class British existence, which is why it sounds so incredibly pleased with itself.)
posted by chappell, ambrose at 10:13 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Get a better job so you can be less "fragile" and afford medical and car repair bills.
Can't really afford a car, thanks. Still suffer from traffic violence.
posted by ambrosen at 10:18 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Can't really afford a car, thanks. Still suffer from traffic violence.
posted by ambrosen at 10:18 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
How does a single speed bike improve the experience?
I live in Toronto, which is mostly flat east to west and hilly south to north. There are also LOTS of stop lights. For me, the worst part about geared cycling was being in the "right" gear for whatever's in front of you. Worst of that was being stopped at a light and in the wrong gear.
When I switched to single speed, I got a frame custom built and to do that I went to a "pro" shop where they put me on a "fit kit", which is basically a stationary bike with adjustable everything (fork length, frame length, etc), which they tweak until you cycle at your peak. One of the aspects of that is figuring out what gear ratio works best for you -- how many teeth on the front sprocket to the back sprocket. I don't right now recall how many teeth are on it (I did this 18 years ago), but I can say unequivocally that it is easier to go up any hill in Toronto on my single speed bike than it was on my geared bike. Yes, I stand up when I do it, but it feels much more natural to me than sitting and pedalling like a madman in a low gear.
Also, Toronto has one of the highest bike theft problems of any city in the world. Therefore, I bring my bike inside with me. Gears are heavy. My whole bike weighs about 18 pounds. Ever have to go on a subway with a bike? (Flat tire? Dreadful weather?) Carrying a geared bike up multiple flights of crowded stairs is a nightmare.
Why not go the whole way and switch to fixed gear?
Easy answer: stopping is easier on a single speed. Simple as that. My bike has rear sprockets on both sides -- one fixed and one coast. Though I enjoyed the pedalling part more when fixed, I loathed the stopping part and felt it wasn't safe. I understand that many don't have this problem, but I did, and after six months I switched back to coast and never looked back. Toronto is a shit city for bike riding (I've been hit twice and broken many bones), so anything that makes me feel safer is better -- hence my recommendation for an Orp and helmet.
Lastly, I also love the sound of a coasting wheel. Reminds me of my childhood.
posted by dobbs at 10:31 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
I live in Toronto, which is mostly flat east to west and hilly south to north. There are also LOTS of stop lights. For me, the worst part about geared cycling was being in the "right" gear for whatever's in front of you. Worst of that was being stopped at a light and in the wrong gear.
When I switched to single speed, I got a frame custom built and to do that I went to a "pro" shop where they put me on a "fit kit", which is basically a stationary bike with adjustable everything (fork length, frame length, etc), which they tweak until you cycle at your peak. One of the aspects of that is figuring out what gear ratio works best for you -- how many teeth on the front sprocket to the back sprocket. I don't right now recall how many teeth are on it (I did this 18 years ago), but I can say unequivocally that it is easier to go up any hill in Toronto on my single speed bike than it was on my geared bike. Yes, I stand up when I do it, but it feels much more natural to me than sitting and pedalling like a madman in a low gear.
Also, Toronto has one of the highest bike theft problems of any city in the world. Therefore, I bring my bike inside with me. Gears are heavy. My whole bike weighs about 18 pounds. Ever have to go on a subway with a bike? (Flat tire? Dreadful weather?) Carrying a geared bike up multiple flights of crowded stairs is a nightmare.
Why not go the whole way and switch to fixed gear?
Easy answer: stopping is easier on a single speed. Simple as that. My bike has rear sprockets on both sides -- one fixed and one coast. Though I enjoyed the pedalling part more when fixed, I loathed the stopping part and felt it wasn't safe. I understand that many don't have this problem, but I did, and after six months I switched back to coast and never looked back. Toronto is a shit city for bike riding (I've been hit twice and broken many bones), so anything that makes me feel safer is better -- hence my recommendation for an Orp and helmet.
Lastly, I also love the sound of a coasting wheel. Reminds me of my childhood.
posted by dobbs at 10:31 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Stop being so fragile when you've got a crumple zone behind you.
Does that crumple zone absorb the baseball-bat-to-the-windshield also?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:45 AM on January 3, 2022
Does that crumple zone absorb the baseball-bat-to-the-windshield also?
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:45 AM on January 3, 2022
Find a boardwalk through the woods and walk it.
Way ahead of you
posted by thelonius at 11:46 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Way ahead of you
posted by thelonius at 11:46 AM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
5. Consider going down to four days a week. It’s likely a disproportionate amount of your fifth day’s work is taxed anyway, so you’ll lose way less than a fifth of your take-home pay.
Initially misread this by skipping over the word "to" in the first sentence.
Thought it was excellent advice (if not really practical for many people), but couldn't understand how it connected to the whole second sentence about taxes and work.
posted by The Bellman at 12:17 PM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Initially misread this by skipping over the word "to" in the first sentence.
Thought it was excellent advice (if not really practical for many people), but couldn't understand how it connected to the whole second sentence about taxes and work.
posted by The Bellman at 12:17 PM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Stop being so fragile when you've got a crumple zone behind you.
Does that crumple zone absorb the baseball-bat-to-the-windshield also?
No, the windshield does. How's about not reacting with horror when you're expected to obey the law and not exceed the speed limit? OK, the original stupid suggestion was 5 below, but how's about never speeding?
posted by ambrosen at 12:18 PM on January 3, 2022
Does that crumple zone absorb the baseball-bat-to-the-windshield also?
No, the windshield does. How's about not reacting with horror when you're expected to obey the law and not exceed the speed limit? OK, the original stupid suggestion was 5 below, but how's about never speeding?
posted by ambrosen at 12:18 PM on January 3, 2022
So confused why people are mad about these.
posted by iamck at 12:23 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by iamck at 12:23 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Can we cool off on the escalating traffic violence derail argument in what is otherwise a pretty fun and useful thread please?
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:24 PM on January 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by EatTheWeek at 12:24 PM on January 3, 2022 [5 favorites]
A lot of these seem like good ideas. But some are really dependent on the person/culture.
Example:
21 Add the milk at least one minute after the tea has brewed.
When to add milk to tea? For me: never! I assume this is a British thing.
Actually I just found this interesting tidbit:
Milk was added to cool the liquid and stop the cups from cracking. This is why, even today, many English people add milk to their cups BEFORE adding the tea!
I liked this one though:
30 Be polite to rude strangers – it’s oddly thrilling.
I once was a little rude to someone on the internet when he was expressing his political opinions on a subject that had nothing to do with politics. Given his politics, I expected an angry or defensive reply. Instead, he was completely polite and inclusive in his response. It completely threw me for a loop. I thought about it for days. So this worked on me. This won't work with people who don't really care about anyone else, but it is probably good for your soul anyway.
posted by eye of newt at 12:26 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Example:
21 Add the milk at least one minute after the tea has brewed.
When to add milk to tea? For me: never! I assume this is a British thing.
Actually I just found this interesting tidbit:
Milk was added to cool the liquid and stop the cups from cracking. This is why, even today, many English people add milk to their cups BEFORE adding the tea!
I liked this one though:
30 Be polite to rude strangers – it’s oddly thrilling.
I once was a little rude to someone on the internet when he was expressing his political opinions on a subject that had nothing to do with politics. Given his politics, I expected an angry or defensive reply. Instead, he was completely polite and inclusive in his response. It completely threw me for a loop. I thought about it for days. So this worked on me. This won't work with people who don't really care about anyone else, but it is probably good for your soul anyway.
posted by eye of newt at 12:26 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Initially misread this by skipping over the word "to" in the first sentence.
okay I'm glad I'm not the only one
posted by praemunire at 12:44 PM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
okay I'm glad I'm not the only one
posted by praemunire at 12:44 PM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
but how's about never speeding?
A nearby city instituted photo radar for some school zones last year. The comments on the news stories are 98% outrage and fury, encouraging people to tear them out or ram them to destroy them. All commenters are in the top 5% of skill levels of drivers, it seems, and are better able to gauge their car's speed than either photo radar* or the figure shown on the car's speedometer.**
A useful skill.
*Always wrongly calibrated and will clock anything above a walking pace as speeding.
**Do not take into account the difference in the varying radius of the car's tires depending on their level of inflation. Fuckin' amateurs.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:54 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
A nearby city instituted photo radar for some school zones last year. The comments on the news stories are 98% outrage and fury, encouraging people to tear them out or ram them to destroy them. All commenters are in the top 5% of skill levels of drivers, it seems, and are better able to gauge their car's speed than either photo radar* or the figure shown on the car's speedometer.**
A useful skill.
*Always wrongly calibrated and will clock anything above a walking pace as speeding.
**Do not take into account the difference in the varying radius of the car's tires depending on their level of inflation. Fuckin' amateurs.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:54 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
(Apologies for inadvertently creating a violent derail with a seriously Dad-level wisecrack about how mad people get at slow drivers??? I literally don't even drive, at any speed much less an excessive one, so I can't tell whether y'all live in friendlier cities than me or you just all have been full Fury Roading it for years now, hitting the highways in armored vehicles and having molotovs launched at you by your fellow motorists.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:24 PM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:24 PM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Anyway I've never been able to improve my life in any way, with or without trying, except for:
1. Make a fuckton more money than you did before.
2. End of list
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:26 PM on January 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
1. Make a fuckton more money than you did before.
2. End of list
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:26 PM on January 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
So confused why people are mad about these.
Not mad, so much as... bemused. These tips run the gamut of obvious, silly, irrelevant, classist, ableist, lacking in context, counterproductive, and a few of them are even okay.
posted by Foosnark at 1:36 PM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Not mad, so much as... bemused. These tips run the gamut of obvious, silly, irrelevant, classist, ableist, lacking in context, counterproductive, and a few of them are even okay.
posted by Foosnark at 1:36 PM on January 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Heywood Mogroot III $170k, but one day of work at that wage can buy a year of retirement
Took a minute to realize you meant one day a week. I thought you had a strategy for buying a year of retirement for $700 & was all ears.
posted by Turd Ferguson at 2:13 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Took a minute to realize you meant one day a week. I thought you had a strategy for buying a year of retirement for $700 & was all ears.
posted by Turd Ferguson at 2:13 PM on January 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Milk was added to cool the liquid and stop the cups from cracking. This is why, even today, many English people add milk to their cups BEFORE adding the tea!
I drink my coffee out of pint glasses and always add the milk first. I call it being "pre-lactal."
posted by bendy at 4:13 PM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
I drink my coffee out of pint glasses and always add the milk first. I call it being "pre-lactal."
posted by bendy at 4:13 PM on January 3, 2022 [1 favorite]
If Captain Picard had meant for us to put milk in our tea he would have said so.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:19 PM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:19 PM on January 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
2. Get a car or cordless vacuum.
I had only begun to skim this comment when I was pulled away to tend to work but I have spent several significant brain cycles today thinking "look, I don't know about you but I think I'd get a lot farther on a bike or maybe a skateboard."
posted by Lyn Never at 9:39 PM on January 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
I had only begun to skim this comment when I was pulled away to tend to work but I have spent several significant brain cycles today thinking "look, I don't know about you but I think I'd get a lot farther on a bike or maybe a skateboard."
posted by Lyn Never at 9:39 PM on January 3, 2022 [8 favorites]
> Cut your work week to 4 days
The other morning I sent an e-mail to my boss asking if I could do just that, and within 30 minutes -- on a Sunday -- she wrote back to say okay. I am not clear if this means I am a) valued and they want to keep me around or b) quite the opposite.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:32 AM on January 4, 2022
The other morning I sent an e-mail to my boss asking if I could do just that, and within 30 minutes -- on a Sunday -- she wrote back to say okay. I am not clear if this means I am a) valued and they want to keep me around or b) quite the opposite.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:32 AM on January 4, 2022
there’s probably a couple hipsters stuck in the early aughts that will make fun of you
If they aren't dead from Parliments and PBR
posted by thelonius at 6:46 AM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
If they aren't dead from Parliments and PBR
posted by thelonius at 6:46 AM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
If they aren't dead from Parliments and PBR
American Spirits, surely.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:39 AM on January 4, 2022 [3 favorites]
American Spirits, surely.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:39 AM on January 4, 2022 [3 favorites]
14 Buy a cheap blender and use it to finely chop onions (it saves on time and tears).
This one made me angry.
(but I like chopping onions)
posted by mazola at 11:04 AM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
This one made me angry.
(but I like chopping onions)
posted by mazola at 11:04 AM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
Find a boardwalk staircase through the woods and walk it.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:34 PM on January 4, 2022
posted by FatherDagon at 12:34 PM on January 4, 2022
Only ever travel carry-on.
I'm going to respectfully disagree with this one.
I used to travel professionally, on the typical "consultant schedule": fly out Monday morning, fly home Thursday night. One year I think I traveled 50 out of 52 weeks in the year. I optimized the living shit out of my travel routine. Carryon-only, always at the front of the plane, aisle seat, first-on/first-off. All the business-travel "hacks" and tips and optimizations.
It's... no way to live. It's certainly no way to travel for fun.
My suggestion: pay for the damn checked bag.
Yes, you should always have a carry-on with a toothbrush, critical meds, change of underwear, maybe a bathing suit if you're going somewhere with a pool (so you can go for a swim or go to the beach if your luggage is late arriving). But ultralight / one-bag travel is a pain in the ass. It takes a lot of thought and preparation to do right, and at least to me, that's not fun. I optimize shit for a living. That's work. Washing your full-synthetic underwear in a hotel sink so you can get away with only three pairs or whatever? Not fun! Wearing "compromise" shoes everyday because you only have room for one do-it-all pair? Definitely not fun.
Now when I travel recreationally, I just get a medium-size rolling suitcase out the day before I leave, and I chuck stuff in there direct from the laundry basket. If I'm going somewhere for a week, I just grab the last week's worth of clothes and throw it in, plus or minus seasonal adjustments. Maybe going on a hike? Fuck it, toss the boots and nice socks in. Running shoes too, because why not? No worrying about getting tiny bottles of crap through TSA; it just goes in the suitcase. (I have a pair of scissors in there now. You know how useful a pair of scissors is? Awesome.) I even bring a fabric laundry bag, to keep dirty and clean stuff separate on the way home. Lots of room for souvenirs ($7 liters of Havana Club? hell yes I have room, I'll take 4!) too.
Everything is lower-stress. I get to the airport a few minutes earlier than I used to, ditch the checked bag at the counter, and walk through security with nothing but my little attache case. No dragging luggage through the airport, or into the airport bathrooms (ew). No jostling at the gate to get to the front of the line—if I don't make it onto the plane in Boarding Group A, it's not a catastrophe, because I don't give a shit about overhead bin space anymore. Let the chumps with rollaboards fight for it.
Same at the end of the flight. If you have a checked bag, you quickly realize that there's no point in being one of "those people" who's fighting their way up the aisle as soon as the plane lands. I just give 'em a smile and a wave; I don't even get up from my seat until the plane is mostly-empty—there's no rush, since you'll just end up waiting in Baggage Claim anyway. Once the folks with unresolved anger-management issues are gone, then I make my exit, hit up the bathroom (never by the gate, though—those are always the filthiest; go for the ones nearer to baggage claim and you'll probably have it to yourself). My bag is generally there waiting for me, and I'm on my way.
Air travel is bad enough without introducing unnecessary stress into it.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:14 PM on January 4, 2022 [8 favorites]
I'm going to respectfully disagree with this one.
I used to travel professionally, on the typical "consultant schedule": fly out Monday morning, fly home Thursday night. One year I think I traveled 50 out of 52 weeks in the year. I optimized the living shit out of my travel routine. Carryon-only, always at the front of the plane, aisle seat, first-on/first-off. All the business-travel "hacks" and tips and optimizations.
It's... no way to live. It's certainly no way to travel for fun.
My suggestion: pay for the damn checked bag.
Yes, you should always have a carry-on with a toothbrush, critical meds, change of underwear, maybe a bathing suit if you're going somewhere with a pool (so you can go for a swim or go to the beach if your luggage is late arriving). But ultralight / one-bag travel is a pain in the ass. It takes a lot of thought and preparation to do right, and at least to me, that's not fun. I optimize shit for a living. That's work. Washing your full-synthetic underwear in a hotel sink so you can get away with only three pairs or whatever? Not fun! Wearing "compromise" shoes everyday because you only have room for one do-it-all pair? Definitely not fun.
Now when I travel recreationally, I just get a medium-size rolling suitcase out the day before I leave, and I chuck stuff in there direct from the laundry basket. If I'm going somewhere for a week, I just grab the last week's worth of clothes and throw it in, plus or minus seasonal adjustments. Maybe going on a hike? Fuck it, toss the boots and nice socks in. Running shoes too, because why not? No worrying about getting tiny bottles of crap through TSA; it just goes in the suitcase. (I have a pair of scissors in there now. You know how useful a pair of scissors is? Awesome.) I even bring a fabric laundry bag, to keep dirty and clean stuff separate on the way home. Lots of room for souvenirs ($7 liters of Havana Club? hell yes I have room, I'll take 4!) too.
Everything is lower-stress. I get to the airport a few minutes earlier than I used to, ditch the checked bag at the counter, and walk through security with nothing but my little attache case. No dragging luggage through the airport, or into the airport bathrooms (ew). No jostling at the gate to get to the front of the line—if I don't make it onto the plane in Boarding Group A, it's not a catastrophe, because I don't give a shit about overhead bin space anymore. Let the chumps with rollaboards fight for it.
Same at the end of the flight. If you have a checked bag, you quickly realize that there's no point in being one of "those people" who's fighting their way up the aisle as soon as the plane lands. I just give 'em a smile and a wave; I don't even get up from my seat until the plane is mostly-empty—there's no rush, since you'll just end up waiting in Baggage Claim anyway. Once the folks with unresolved anger-management issues are gone, then I make my exit, hit up the bathroom (never by the gate, though—those are always the filthiest; go for the ones nearer to baggage claim and you'll probably have it to yourself). My bag is generally there waiting for me, and I'm on my way.
Air travel is bad enough without introducing unnecessary stress into it.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:14 PM on January 4, 2022 [8 favorites]
If Captain Picard had meant for us to put milk in our tea he would have said so.
Milk is obviously the default; asking for it would be like asking for Coke with sugar.
posted by Mitheral at 2:49 PM on January 4, 2022
Milk is obviously the default; asking for it would be like asking for Coke with sugar.
posted by Mitheral at 2:49 PM on January 4, 2022
find a type of pen or pencil that you like that's not terribly expensive, and buy a bunch of them
A mechanical pencil I had been using near-daily since 2002-ish disintegrated on me on the last day of work for the year (Dec 30, 2021).
This morning, I opened up a spare that I bought with it. Maybe this one will last an entire 20 years. But there's still one more spare left.
(Zebra M-402)
posted by porpoise at 7:15 PM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
A mechanical pencil I had been using near-daily since 2002-ish disintegrated on me on the last day of work for the year (Dec 30, 2021).
This morning, I opened up a spare that I bought with it. Maybe this one will last an entire 20 years. But there's still one more spare left.
(Zebra M-402)
posted by porpoise at 7:15 PM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
Only ever travel carry-on.
I'm going to respectfully disagree with this one.
I used to travel professionally, on the typical "consultant schedule": fly out Monday morning, fly home Thursday night. One year I think I traveled 50 out of 52 weeks in the year. I optimized the living shit out of my travel routine. Carryon-only, always at the front of the plane, aisle seat, first-on/first-off. All the business-travel "hacks" and tips and optimizations.
It's... no way to live. It's certainly no way to travel for fun.
My suggestion: pay for the damn checked bag.
Yeah, my carry-on is mostly filled with medical supplies, because putting them in checked luggage where they might be lost or destroyed just isn't an option. I don't know if I'd go so far as saying it's ableist, but maintaining that carry-on only is the best (or even possible) method for everybody certainly falls under the heading of "I'm assuming my life situation is the default for the whole of humanity" and unchecked privilege (pun unavoidable).
I remember an argument I got into with some arrogant jerk on a travel forum, who insisted on correcting people who said "packing light," saying that they really should call it "packing smart." Meaning that those of us who need more items with us away from home, or who don't want to take precious time out of a rare week's vacation to do laundry, are somehow stupid for being different from him.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:14 PM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm going to respectfully disagree with this one.
I used to travel professionally, on the typical "consultant schedule": fly out Monday morning, fly home Thursday night. One year I think I traveled 50 out of 52 weeks in the year. I optimized the living shit out of my travel routine. Carryon-only, always at the front of the plane, aisle seat, first-on/first-off. All the business-travel "hacks" and tips and optimizations.
It's... no way to live. It's certainly no way to travel for fun.
My suggestion: pay for the damn checked bag.
Yeah, my carry-on is mostly filled with medical supplies, because putting them in checked luggage where they might be lost or destroyed just isn't an option. I don't know if I'd go so far as saying it's ableist, but maintaining that carry-on only is the best (or even possible) method for everybody certainly falls under the heading of "I'm assuming my life situation is the default for the whole of humanity" and unchecked privilege (pun unavoidable).
I remember an argument I got into with some arrogant jerk on a travel forum, who insisted on correcting people who said "packing light," saying that they really should call it "packing smart." Meaning that those of us who need more items with us away from home, or who don't want to take precious time out of a rare week's vacation to do laundry, are somehow stupid for being different from him.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:14 PM on January 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
Kadin2048: "if I don't make it onto the plane in Boarding Group A, it's not a catastrophe, because I don't give a shit about overhead bin space anymore. Let the chumps with rollaboards fight for it."
I always, always, sit at the back of the boarding area and never get in line until there's less than 5 people waiting to get on the plane, regardless of what seat or "boarding group" I have. Why would I want to be sitting in the tin can any longer than I have to?
posted by signal at 5:55 AM on January 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
I always, always, sit at the back of the boarding area and never get in line until there's less than 5 people waiting to get on the plane, regardless of what seat or "boarding group" I have. Why would I want to be sitting in the tin can any longer than I have to?
posted by signal at 5:55 AM on January 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by Foosnark at 7:55 PM on January 2, 2022 [16 favorites]