Emma Goldcoin
August 28, 2022 9:44 AM Subscribe
Emma Goldcoin (EGX) is an easy to use and totally secure cryptocurrency with zero environmental impact. [via mefi projects]
the app
the app
arguably more useful than real cryptocurrency
because you can use it to annoy crypto people
edit: I have thought through some of the implications, thanks to the links, and would like to expand this to " you can use it to annoy quite a lot of people who deserve to be annoyed"
posted by Merus at 9:52 AM on August 28, 2022 [14 favorites]
because you can use it to annoy crypto people
edit: I have thought through some of the implications, thanks to the links, and would like to expand this to " you can use it to annoy quite a lot of people who deserve to be annoyed"
posted by Merus at 9:52 AM on August 28, 2022 [14 favorites]
Whether you approve of cryptocurrency or not, apparently everyone (well, every human) has 1 EGX, whether they want it or not. Happy birthday!
posted by hippybear at 9:57 AM on August 28, 2022 [19 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 9:57 AM on August 28, 2022 [19 favorites]
EGX is people!!!!
posted by chavenet at 9:57 AM on August 28, 2022 [18 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 9:57 AM on August 28, 2022 [18 favorites]
Apologies, I can't seem to detect humor or irony on the internet anymore.
posted by talking leaf at 9:59 AM on August 28, 2022 [42 favorites]
posted by talking leaf at 9:59 AM on August 28, 2022 [42 favorites]
I've been getting taller since my EGX account was opened for me. Number go up!
posted by flabdablet at 9:59 AM on August 28, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:59 AM on August 28, 2022 [9 favorites]
just another rug pull
posted by ryanrs at 9:59 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by ryanrs at 9:59 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
I had dinner at a hipster cryptocafe last night and it seemed reasonable at 0.3EGX. I didn't realize it'd cost me an arm and a leg.
posted by Nelson at 10:00 AM on August 28, 2022 [37 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 10:00 AM on August 28, 2022 [37 favorites]
I don't approve of any cryptocurrency, much less one that has a name so similar to Emma Goldman.
Someone has said that it requires less mental effort to condemn than toposted by zamboni at 10:06 AM on August 28, 2022 [14 favorites]thinkread links. The widespread mental indolence, so prevalentin societyon Metafilter, proves this to be only too true. Rather than to go to the bottom of any givenideashitpost, to examine into its origin and meaning, most people will either condemn it altogether, or rely on some superficial or prejudicial definition of non-essentials.
"Emma Goldcoin is the world's least-volatile cryptocurrency."
posted by heatherlogan at 10:18 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by heatherlogan at 10:18 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
Idk, I think its exchange rate with the dollar can still swing as wildly as the others given enough uncertainty about the value of human life.
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:20 AM on August 28, 2022
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:20 AM on August 28, 2022
Not a single word in all the documentation, not a SINGLE WORD about selling badly drawn monkey pictures. I mean it makes me wonder if you guys even UNDERSTAND crypto.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:31 AM on August 28, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:31 AM on August 28, 2022 [12 favorites]
badly drawn monkey pictures
One could say the entire foundation of EGX is bad monkeys.
posted by hippybear at 10:37 AM on August 28, 2022 [34 favorites]
One could say the entire foundation of EGX is bad monkeys.
posted by hippybear at 10:37 AM on August 28, 2022 [34 favorites]
I’ll give you my EGX, if you’ll give me yours.
posted by njohnson23 at 10:40 AM on August 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by njohnson23 at 10:40 AM on August 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
doesn't compile. do i need to be running gentoo?
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 10:45 AM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 10:45 AM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
How about a Monkey's Paw NFT? It's very cheap and secure, as you cannot get rid of it, but it deletes all of your wallets. I guess you can use it as a profile pic, if you want.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:52 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:52 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
It’s a fun joke, but I don’t quite get it. The transaction fees seem to make it useless as a medium of exchange, which -great ha, ha, easy to implement, etc.- but crypto users can at least exchange their garbage fake money. I should probably drive into the supplemental links…
posted by Going To Maine at 10:53 AM on August 28, 2022
posted by Going To Maine at 10:53 AM on August 28, 2022
Sci-fi short story writing prompt: EGX is a funny joke until someone discovers an exploit that takes away someone's EGX token, which causes them to die in real life.
posted by allegedly at 11:13 AM on August 28, 2022 [19 favorites]
posted by allegedly at 11:13 AM on August 28, 2022 [19 favorites]
The transaction fees seem to make it useless as a medium of exchange, which -great ha, ha, easy to implement, etc.- but crypto users can at least exchange their garbage fake money.
The name of the currency may be be relevant to this particular shortcoming.
posted by zamboni at 11:33 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
The name of the currency may be be relevant to this particular shortcoming.
posted by zamboni at 11:33 AM on August 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
This is marginally more environmentally friendly but also marginally less useful than JimCoin™, which at least involves an actual block chain.
(previously)
posted by teraflop at 11:39 AM on August 28, 2022 [7 favorites]
(previously)
posted by teraflop at 11:39 AM on August 28, 2022 [7 favorites]
I laughed out loud when I got to "...therefore, EGX is the only cryptocurrency that can provably claim to be entirely secure." Excellent.
posted by confluency at 12:00 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by confluency at 12:00 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
The transaction fees seem to make it useless as a medium of exchange, which -great ha, ha, easy to implement, etc.- but crypto users can at least exchange their garbage fake money.
The name of the currency may be be relevant to this particular shortcoming.
Ah!I was thinking of Emma Goldman in the name, but I was thinking of this as fundamentally a joke about crypto, and not a joke about cryptofying anarchism.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:07 PM on August 28, 2022
The name of the currency may be be relevant to this particular shortcoming.
Ah!I was thinking of Emma Goldman in the name, but I was thinking of this as fundamentally a joke about crypto, and not a joke about cryptofying anarchism.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:07 PM on August 28, 2022
Since environmental damage has gone up over time as the number of EGX has increased, I’m not sure I agree with the “no environmental cost” assessment. Correlation is not causation and all, but the correlation here is certainly strong.
posted by nat at 12:10 PM on August 28, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by nat at 12:10 PM on August 28, 2022 [11 favorites]
EGX co-creator here: huge thanks to aniola for posting this from Projects and to all in the thread. Day made, etc.
It's obviously more a leg pull than a rug pull, but, on reflection, not having thought about EGX much, or indeed at all, since posting it, nat makes an extremely sensible and serious point.
I very much agree that the original over-excited 'no environmental cost' claim is extremely arguable.
Oh well.
posted by motty at 12:23 PM on August 28, 2022 [12 favorites]
It's obviously more a leg pull than a rug pull, but, on reflection, not having thought about EGX much, or indeed at all, since posting it, nat makes an extremely sensible and serious point.
I very much agree that the original over-excited 'no environmental cost' claim is extremely arguable.
Oh well.
posted by motty at 12:23 PM on August 28, 2022 [12 favorites]
I think its exchange rate with the dollar can still swing as wildly as the others given enough uncertainty about the value of human life.
This is true, but the implication of this is the perhaps-surprising and definitely delightful (to me) conclusion that I get all the money. Allow me to explain:
For any non-zero value of human life in USD, there is an exchange rate between EGC and USD. Any attempt to exchange EGC for USD results in a transaction: I give you EGC, and you give me USD in proportion to the exchange rate. However, you also have to pay the Cost of Receipt, returning the EGC to me because x=y. So I end up, after transaction fees, with 1 EGC and some net increase in the USD I'm holding.
Because transactions in EGC require no code or environmental cost, they are essentially frictionless and I can repeat this exchange as many times as I like, with as many other parties as I like. And I can do it instantly because there is no transaction cost (in terms of energy, settlement time, or anything else). Because "recording that a transaction took place is optional and up to the implementor" there is no way, in fact, for you to demonstrate that I have not already done so.
As a rational self-interested market actor, it would be extraordinarily unlikely for me not to repeat this transaction as many times as I can. Indeed, the idea of me not doing so puts one in mind of the economist's joke about a $20 bill lying unclaimed in the street. So we can rationally conclude that this has happened.
In order for this conclusion to be valid, we just need to establish that human life has a non-zero value. It's OK if this value is uncertain or unfixed, as long as it's not zero. Conveniently, multiple efforts to establish such a value have been conducted, and the US Department of Transportation updates the value regularly - referred to as the "value of a statistical life" or VSL. Importantly, DOT notes that "While the individual estimates of VSL reported in the studies cited above are often accompanied by estimates of confidence intervals, we do not, at this time, have any reliable method for estimating the overall probability distribution of the average VSL[.]" So we can treat the uncertainty of any given estimate of the VSL as essentially infinite; it is as likely to be the estimated value as it is any other possible value - making the likelihood of the true value being zero infinitesimally small. Thus, human life has an unknown, but definitely non-zero, value.
It therefore follows that I get all the money, immediately. While I appreciate your participation in my little currency exchange, I will not be providing receipts as I have implemented EGC without the transaction recording feature. If you check your current bank account balance, you may notice a non-zero amount; this is due to inefficiencies in legacy banking systems which can lead to long transaction clearing times.
However, there is a little wrinkle here. Although the value of human life is not zero (as we have seen), the likelihood that the rate of exchange between EGC and USD reflects the value that you assign to a human life is as small as the likelihood that the VSL is zero. So, although my purchase of your USD for EGC is entirely rational and indeed inevitable under the logic of EGC, it is possible that you may feel you got the short end of this transaction. I regret any such sentiment on your part.
Out of magnanimity, I am willing to reverse the exchange, take back my EGC, and restore your bank account balance. In order for this to work, we need to establish a new VSL reflecting the difference between our exchange rate and the value you place on human life - following the logic above, this value is essentially a random amount; summation of this amount across all of the transactions give a total (or "RanSum") that reflects the difference between the exchange rate we used for our transactions and the true exchange rate you might have insisted was more appropriate.
Upon receipt of the RanSum, I will be happy to reverse our exchange and return your USD to you. Conveniently, the value of the RanSum is pegged at a single MetaFilter favorite. I am happy to accept your payment of the RanSum in that currency.
posted by nickmark at 12:43 PM on August 28, 2022 [17 favorites]
This is true, but the implication of this is the perhaps-surprising and definitely delightful (to me) conclusion that I get all the money. Allow me to explain:
For any non-zero value of human life in USD, there is an exchange rate between EGC and USD. Any attempt to exchange EGC for USD results in a transaction: I give you EGC, and you give me USD in proportion to the exchange rate. However, you also have to pay the Cost of Receipt, returning the EGC to me because x=y. So I end up, after transaction fees, with 1 EGC and some net increase in the USD I'm holding.
Because transactions in EGC require no code or environmental cost, they are essentially frictionless and I can repeat this exchange as many times as I like, with as many other parties as I like. And I can do it instantly because there is no transaction cost (in terms of energy, settlement time, or anything else). Because "recording that a transaction took place is optional and up to the implementor" there is no way, in fact, for you to demonstrate that I have not already done so.
As a rational self-interested market actor, it would be extraordinarily unlikely for me not to repeat this transaction as many times as I can. Indeed, the idea of me not doing so puts one in mind of the economist's joke about a $20 bill lying unclaimed in the street. So we can rationally conclude that this has happened.
In order for this conclusion to be valid, we just need to establish that human life has a non-zero value. It's OK if this value is uncertain or unfixed, as long as it's not zero. Conveniently, multiple efforts to establish such a value have been conducted, and the US Department of Transportation updates the value regularly - referred to as the "value of a statistical life" or VSL. Importantly, DOT notes that "While the individual estimates of VSL reported in the studies cited above are often accompanied by estimates of confidence intervals, we do not, at this time, have any reliable method for estimating the overall probability distribution of the average VSL[.]" So we can treat the uncertainty of any given estimate of the VSL as essentially infinite; it is as likely to be the estimated value as it is any other possible value - making the likelihood of the true value being zero infinitesimally small. Thus, human life has an unknown, but definitely non-zero, value.
It therefore follows that I get all the money, immediately. While I appreciate your participation in my little currency exchange, I will not be providing receipts as I have implemented EGC without the transaction recording feature. If you check your current bank account balance, you may notice a non-zero amount; this is due to inefficiencies in legacy banking systems which can lead to long transaction clearing times.
However, there is a little wrinkle here. Although the value of human life is not zero (as we have seen), the likelihood that the rate of exchange between EGC and USD reflects the value that you assign to a human life is as small as the likelihood that the VSL is zero. So, although my purchase of your USD for EGC is entirely rational and indeed inevitable under the logic of EGC, it is possible that you may feel you got the short end of this transaction. I regret any such sentiment on your part.
Out of magnanimity, I am willing to reverse the exchange, take back my EGC, and restore your bank account balance. In order for this to work, we need to establish a new VSL reflecting the difference between our exchange rate and the value you place on human life - following the logic above, this value is essentially a random amount; summation of this amount across all of the transactions give a total (or "RanSum") that reflects the difference between the exchange rate we used for our transactions and the true exchange rate you might have insisted was more appropriate.
Upon receipt of the RanSum, I will be happy to reverse our exchange and return your USD to you. Conveniently, the value of the RanSum is pegged at a single MetaFilter favorite. I am happy to accept your payment of the RanSum in that currency.
posted by nickmark at 12:43 PM on August 28, 2022 [17 favorites]
Hmmm. This is cute and so I will resist attempts to think about capital punishment or honor killings as EGX ledgering or any kind of futures markets where BOJO, Putin, Xi or Trump can play. I will instead amuse myself thinking about arbitraged FOREX markets with Elon’s Mars colony.
posted by drowsy at 12:47 PM on August 28, 2022
posted by drowsy at 12:47 PM on August 28, 2022
Since environmental damage has gone up over time as the number of EGX has increased, I’m not sure I agree with the “no environmental cost” assessment.
Allow me to modestly propose an experiment as a test of that theory, to see if a significant reduction of EGX results in environmental improvement.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:49 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
Allow me to modestly propose an experiment as a test of that theory, to see if a significant reduction of EGX results in environmental improvement.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:49 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
(starting with a person such as -- oh, say, Jeff Bezos, as a random choice)
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
Also, upon reflection, EGX has a good tag line: “the currency you can take with you.” Then immediately look for ancient egyptian proto-EGX hieroglyphs.
posted by drowsy at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by drowsy at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
EGX is a funny joke until someone discovers an exploit that takes away someone's EGX token, which causes them to die in real life
Going rate is two obols per EGX.
posted by flabdablet at 12:51 PM on August 28, 2022 [5 favorites]
Going rate is two obols per EGX.
posted by flabdablet at 12:51 PM on August 28, 2022 [5 favorites]
Sci-fi short story writing prompt: EGX is a funny joke until someone discovers an exploit that takes away someone's EGX token, which causes them to die in real lifeThis is essentially the setting of the 2011 move IN TIME, starring Justin Timberlake, and Amanda Seyfried, isn't it?
posted by Xiphias Gladius at 1:05 PM on August 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
I find the whole concept adorable and sweet. Thank you for the warm fuzzies the EGX concept provides!
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 2:02 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Flight Hardware, do not touch at 2:02 PM on August 28, 2022 [2 favorites]
It’s a fun joke, but I don’t quite get it.
The joke is that humans are real and money isn't.
posted by biogeo at 3:31 PM on August 28, 2022 [8 favorites]
"No code is the best way to write secure and reliable applications. Write nothing; deploy nowhere."
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:19 PM on August 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:19 PM on August 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
Allow me to modestly propose an experiment as a test of that theory, to see if a significant reduction of EGX results in environmental improvement.
(starting with a person such as -- oh, say, Jeff Bezos, as a random choice)
This does raise a question: if you eat another person, do you get to keep their EGX without a required reciprocal transaction?
And if so, can one include a cannibalism-based crypto hedge fund as part of an IRA portfolio?
Just trying to clarify the parameters, here.
posted by darkstar at 5:29 PM on August 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
(starting with a person such as -- oh, say, Jeff Bezos, as a random choice)
This does raise a question: if you eat another person, do you get to keep their EGX without a required reciprocal transaction?
And if so, can one include a cannibalism-based crypto hedge fund as part of an IRA portfolio?
Just trying to clarify the parameters, here.
posted by darkstar at 5:29 PM on August 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
My proposal was to test whether an overall reduction in EGX (which per the documentation = 1/person) would result in an increase in environmental health. Accrual of EGX via cannibalism was not taken into account. Further study is warranted.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:39 PM on August 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:39 PM on August 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
It's clearly stated that 1 EGX is removed when a human dies, and one is added when one is born. Cannibalism would require a death, unless one is being VERY creative with their butchering process. And even then, the living human still has 1 EGX regardless of how much of them has been consumed.
posted by hippybear at 5:43 PM on August 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 5:43 PM on August 28, 2022 [4 favorites]
The main flaw I see with this is that "human" is defined by "are you related to any other human beings, alive or dead"? All I have to do to generate excess EGX is to repeatedly adopt-a-highway, making them relatives and thus "human".
posted by WhackyparseThis at 5:58 PM on August 28, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by WhackyparseThis at 5:58 PM on August 28, 2022 [5 favorites]
I get all the money &
All I have to do to generate excess EGX is to repeatedly adopt-a-highway
I'm not buying it.
posted by aniola at 7:12 PM on August 28, 2022
All I have to do to generate excess EGX is to repeatedly adopt-a-highway
I'm not buying it.
posted by aniola at 7:12 PM on August 28, 2022
This just sounds like wuffie with extra steps and too much talking meat.
Oh no, I just realized I haven't actually thought about wuffie until now in a post-cryptoscam world. Oh no.
posted by loquacious at 12:52 AM on August 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
Oh no, I just realized I haven't actually thought about wuffie until now in a post-cryptoscam world. Oh no.
posted by loquacious at 12:52 AM on August 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
I dunno, I’m more of a JimCoin guy myself.
posted by rockindata at 3:25 AM on August 29, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by rockindata at 3:25 AM on August 29, 2022 [2 favorites]
I just realized I haven't actually thought about wuffie until now
And you just lost The Game.
posted by flabdablet at 4:41 AM on August 29, 2022 [2 favorites]
And you just lost The Game.
posted by flabdablet at 4:41 AM on August 29, 2022 [2 favorites]
The joke is that humans are real and money isn't.
Someone is about to get their invitation to the RNC rescinded.
posted by Literaryhero at 10:09 PM on August 30, 2022
Someone is about to get their invitation to the RNC rescinded.
posted by Literaryhero at 10:09 PM on August 30, 2022
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