...and this just in from the 'why we can't have nice things' desk...
December 21, 2022 9:50 PM Subscribe
New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern gets picked up on a hot mic during Question Time in parliament calling her rival (David Seymour, leader of the Libertarian ACT party) an "arrogant prick". Weak outrage follows but gets quickly turned on its ear, and eventually the two team up to raise $100,000 ($63K USD) for the Prostate Cancer Foundation. Win win.
So Seymour's still an arrogant prick, but one who has helped a rival save face, as well as helping save pricks of all natures... So is, like, NZ the Canada of Australia? I just finished watching Taskmaster NZ. Is NZ real?
So Seymour's still an arrogant prick, but one who has helped a rival save face, as well as helping save pricks of all natures... So is, like, NZ the Canada of Australia? I just finished watching Taskmaster NZ. Is NZ real?
... So is, like, NZ the Canada of Australia?
The saner, nicer, smaller sibling? The observation has been made before.
An old joke:
Athletes are arriving from the airport to the Olympic village hotel.
The Americans roll up in a stretch Hummer limo, chanting U!S!A! Yoo-Ess-Ay!, throw the keys to an attendant and tell him to get their bags, as they stroll in.
The Australians drive up, piled in the back of a ute partly full of empty VB tins, chanting Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!, oi oi oi! They pants the attendant, laugh, and ask Where's the bar, ya cunt? As they walk in.
Then the NZ and Canadian teams drive up, having shared the cost of renting a sensible minivan. They park it themselves, carry their bags up to the attendant, shake hands with him, and simultaneously say
CAN: Hi, Sorry.
NZ: Sorry, Hi.
posted by bartleby at 10:39 PM on December 21, 2022 [43 favorites]
The saner, nicer, smaller sibling? The observation has been made before.
An old joke:
Athletes are arriving from the airport to the Olympic village hotel.
The Americans roll up in a stretch Hummer limo, chanting U!S!A! Yoo-Ess-Ay!, throw the keys to an attendant and tell him to get their bags, as they stroll in.
The Australians drive up, piled in the back of a ute partly full of empty VB tins, chanting Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!, oi oi oi! They pants the attendant, laugh, and ask Where's the bar, ya cunt? As they walk in.
Then the NZ and Canadian teams drive up, having shared the cost of renting a sensible minivan. They park it themselves, carry their bags up to the attendant, shake hands with him, and simultaneously say
CAN: Hi, Sorry.
NZ: Sorry, Hi.
posted by bartleby at 10:39 PM on December 21, 2022 [43 favorites]
So Seymour is definitely an arrogant prick, Jacinda was just saying what we all already know ..... he's also the spitting image of Rimmer on Red Dwarf, both in looks and attitude, just missing the H
posted by mbo at 10:56 PM on December 21, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by mbo at 10:56 PM on December 21, 2022 [8 favorites]
New Zealand is totally real but don't come here.
We have parrots that live in the snow and set up roadblocks so they can stop you and eat your car.
No dropbears though. That's Australia.
posted by happyinmotion at 11:25 PM on December 21, 2022 [31 favorites]
We have parrots that live in the snow and set up roadblocks so they can stop you and eat your car.
No dropbears though. That's Australia.
posted by happyinmotion at 11:25 PM on December 21, 2022 [31 favorites]
The best thing about being Australian is that I can migrate to New Zealand.
posted by Thella at 12:39 AM on December 22, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by Thella at 12:39 AM on December 22, 2022 [5 favorites]
I don't understand the title. Who is the 'we' who can't have nice things, and how is this 'why'?
Ardern is cool though, it's always a good time to read about her.
happyinmotion, I've been to NZ and it did appear to be real but it was so beautiful that I still have my doubts. I've camped on a beach, setting up my tent next to my motorbike (a rental, but very nice) and when I woke up under a palm tree I could see snow on the mountain tops in the distance. I've seen rainforest trees and a gletcher in the same afternoon. NZ is amazing.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:44 AM on December 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
Ardern is cool though, it's always a good time to read about her.
happyinmotion, I've been to NZ and it did appear to be real but it was so beautiful that I still have my doubts. I've camped on a beach, setting up my tent next to my motorbike (a rental, but very nice) and when I woke up under a palm tree I could see snow on the mountain tops in the distance. I've seen rainforest trees and a gletcher in the same afternoon. NZ is amazing.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:44 AM on December 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
Too-Ticky, why do you think NZ developed a world-class VFX industry?
It wasn't Peter Jackson for The Lord of the Rings. We meet travellers at the airport, drug them, fit them with a VR headset and play them the most amazing scenery that a computer can generate.
Actual New Zealand looks like a run-down multi-story car park.
posted by happyinmotion at 1:59 AM on December 22, 2022 [44 favorites]
It wasn't Peter Jackson for The Lord of the Rings. We meet travellers at the airport, drug them, fit them with a VR headset and play them the most amazing scenery that a computer can generate.
Actual New Zealand looks like a run-down multi-story car park.
posted by happyinmotion at 1:59 AM on December 22, 2022 [44 favorites]
Peter Dickens, the chief executive of the Prostate Cancer Foundation.
Nominal Determinism rearing its head once more, I see.
posted by signal at 3:53 AM on December 22, 2022 [17 favorites]
Nominal Determinism rearing its head once more, I see.
posted by signal at 3:53 AM on December 22, 2022 [17 favorites]
rearing its head
Nicely erected sentence!
posted by srboisvert at 4:38 AM on December 22, 2022 [17 favorites]
Nicely erected sentence!
posted by srboisvert at 4:38 AM on December 22, 2022 [17 favorites]
Isn’t this actually from the “…why we can have nice things (occasionally, at least)” desk?
Seems to me this was among the nicest possible outcomes of situation that might otherwise have dragged NZ’s relatively sensible political landscape into the mire.
posted by Lesser Spotted Potoroo at 4:45 AM on December 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Seems to me this was among the nicest possible outcomes of situation that might otherwise have dragged NZ’s relatively sensible political landscape into the mire.
posted by Lesser Spotted Potoroo at 4:45 AM on December 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Actual New Zealand looks like a run-down multi-story car park.
You're just saying that to keep rich libertarian nobs from actually moving there.
and I do not blame you one iota.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:25 AM on December 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
You're just saying that to keep rich libertarian nobs from actually moving there.
and I do not blame you one iota.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:25 AM on December 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
The best thing about being Australian is that I can migrate to New Zealand.
Wait, wait, what, really?
...so you're saying I should emigrate to Australia first, take a few years to become an Australian all the while not getting killed by spiders or snakes or wildfires or libertarians or galloping depression (I live in Florida, so I already know how to do this), and then I can go to New Zealand???
posted by Don Pepino at 5:43 AM on December 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Wait, wait, what, really?
...so you're saying I should emigrate to Australia first, take a few years to become an Australian all the while not getting killed by spiders or snakes or wildfires or libertarians or galloping depression (I live in Florida, so I already know how to do this), and then I can go to New Zealand???
posted by Don Pepino at 5:43 AM on December 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Old school, Mr. President
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 5:49 AM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 5:49 AM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
... So is, like, NZ the Canada of Australia?
As a Canadian, I really think you’re giving us too much credit here.
posted by rodlymight at 5:50 AM on December 22, 2022 [15 favorites]
As a Canadian, I really think you’re giving us too much credit here.
posted by rodlymight at 5:50 AM on December 22, 2022 [15 favorites]
...so you're saying I should emigrate to Australia first, take a few years to become an Australian all the while not getting killed by spiders or snakes or wildfires or libertarians or galloping depression (I live in Florida, so I already know how to do this), and then I can go to New Zealand???
While we do have a few dangerous libertarians with guns (see recent events in which 6 people, including the shooters, a neighbour, and two police, got shot [1] )
on average we have A LOT LESS dangerous libertarians than the US does...
Wildfires are rarely a problem in the inner metropolitan areas - its usually rural areas or the outer suburbs.
Snakes and spiders, while a hazard, are less of a problem than you might think.
In Australia, only male Sydney Funnel Web Spiders and Redback Spiders have caused human deaths, but none have occurred since antivenoms were made available in 1981[2].
[1] https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-12-15/qld-police-shooting-offenders-nathaniel-gareth-stacey-train/101766720
[2] https://australian.museum/learn/animals/spiders/spider-facts/
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 6:16 AM on December 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
While we do have a few dangerous libertarians with guns (see recent events in which 6 people, including the shooters, a neighbour, and two police, got shot [1] )
on average we have A LOT LESS dangerous libertarians than the US does...
Wildfires are rarely a problem in the inner metropolitan areas - its usually rural areas or the outer suburbs.
Snakes and spiders, while a hazard, are less of a problem than you might think.
In Australia, only male Sydney Funnel Web Spiders and Redback Spiders have caused human deaths, but none have occurred since antivenoms were made available in 1981[2].
[1] https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-12-15/qld-police-shooting-offenders-nathaniel-gareth-stacey-train/101766720
[2] https://australian.museum/learn/animals/spiders/spider-facts/
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 6:16 AM on December 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
For others who might be wondering "empty VB tins" is "empty beer cans" in American. I had to google it. VB is Victoria Bitter, a popular brand of lager in Australia, maybe like... the "Coors" or "Budweiser" of Australians except probably it tastes more like beer than either of those efforts.
posted by which_chick at 6:20 AM on December 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by which_chick at 6:20 AM on December 22, 2022 [4 favorites]
For others who might be wondering "empty VB tins" is "empty beer cans" in American.
Thank you. As my knowledge of Australia is based solely on its cultural exports, I had imagined the "V" in "VB" to stand for Vegemite.
posted by Slothrup at 6:57 AM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Thank you. As my knowledge of Australia is based solely on its cultural exports, I had imagined the "V" in "VB" to stand for Vegemite.
posted by Slothrup at 6:57 AM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
I had forgotten AP was so precious about mildly naughty words. All their reporting is bowdlerized like "He’s such an arrogant pr———". They literally won't print the word that's the center of the controversy, even as a direct quote. You can tell the AP reporter Nick Perry thinks this is stupid, he managed to sneak the word in at the end of the article.
posted by Nelson at 7:18 AM on December 22, 2022 [19 favorites]
older men should consider getting a simple blood test to enable early detection. ... “Just a little prick could save a life,” he said.Well played.
posted by Nelson at 7:18 AM on December 22, 2022 [19 favorites]
I don't understand the title.
add me to the list
this is an increasingly rare Nice Thing and we are so pleased to Have It
posted by elkevelvet at 8:18 AM on December 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
add me to the list
this is an increasingly rare Nice Thing and we are so pleased to Have It
posted by elkevelvet at 8:18 AM on December 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
As a Canadian, I really think you’re giving us too much credit here.
we do tend to cover a lot more ground here in the Great White North. For reference, the province of British Columbia (Canada's fourth largest) is slightly larger than all of New Zealand). So yeah, certain extremes have been noted hereabouts -- and not just of cold.
posted by philip-random at 11:41 AM on December 22, 2022
we do tend to cover a lot more ground here in the Great White North. For reference, the province of British Columbia (Canada's fourth largest) is slightly larger than all of New Zealand). So yeah, certain extremes have been noted hereabouts -- and not just of cold.
posted by philip-random at 11:41 AM on December 22, 2022
Need to point out that NZ does have Aussie red back spiders, they're pretty rare, usually found on beaches under logs
Needless to say the most dangerous thing by far when tramping (what you may call 'hiking') in the bush here in NZ is the weather .... don't cross that angry river after it has rained! wait it out
posted by mbo at 1:50 PM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Needless to say the most dangerous thing by far when tramping (what you may call 'hiking') in the bush here in NZ is the weather .... don't cross that angry river after it has rained! wait it out
posted by mbo at 1:50 PM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Hey if we identify nine more libertarian pricks can we reach a million dollars donated?
posted by away for regrooving at 2:26 PM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by away for regrooving at 2:26 PM on December 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
Nah if this happened in Canadian Parliament it would be breathlessly pearl clutched by all corners of the country for weeks to months and probably trigger a several hundred million dollar election because it's currently a minority government in a veritable two-mule (i.e. two party) system. I would quit the internet if such a thing was said in Canada's House of Commons because the Hot Takes would be endless and insufferable.
posted by urbanlenny at 3:18 PM on December 22, 2022
posted by urbanlenny at 3:18 PM on December 22, 2022
> I don't understand the title. Who is the 'we' who can't have nice things, and how is this 'why'?
> Seems to me this was among the nicest possible outcomes of situation that might otherwise have dragged NZ’s relatively sensible political landscape into the mire.
Sorry about that ambiguity—'we' is 'we USAians', and the 'why' is because if this happened in the US, it would just be another little piece of kindling for the bonfire. I.e., we USAians can't have good things because we can't behave nicely toward one another, regardless of political stripe, but even more so when there are politics involved.
posted by not_on_display at 3:19 PM on December 22, 2022
> Seems to me this was among the nicest possible outcomes of situation that might otherwise have dragged NZ’s relatively sensible political landscape into the mire.
Sorry about that ambiguity—'we' is 'we USAians', and the 'why' is because if this happened in the US, it would just be another little piece of kindling for the bonfire. I.e., we USAians can't have good things because we can't behave nicely toward one another, regardless of political stripe, but even more so when there are politics involved.
posted by not_on_display at 3:19 PM on December 22, 2022
Thank you for explaining, not_on_display. I guess I don't think about the US all the time, because to me it's just another country somewhere in the world... so I had a hard time figuring it out.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:29 PM on December 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:29 PM on December 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Nah if this happened in Canadian Parliament it would be breathlessly pearl clutched by all corners of the country for weeks to months and probably trigger a several hundred million dollar election because it's currently a minority government in a veritable two-mule (i.e. two party) system. I would quit the internet if such a thing was said in Canada's House of Commons because the Hot Takes would be endless and insufferable.
Fuddle Duddle!
posted by srboisvert at 2:58 AM on December 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Fuddle Duddle!
posted by srboisvert at 2:58 AM on December 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Sounds like New Zealand is for me: I much prefer tramping to hiking!
posted by Don Pepino at 6:04 AM on December 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Don Pepino at 6:04 AM on December 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I would quit the internet if such a thing was said in Canada's House of Commons because the Hot Takes would be endless and insufferable.
It's considered unpatriotic to roll your eyes at Rex Murphy.
posted by klanawa at 8:55 AM on December 23, 2022
It's considered unpatriotic to roll your eyes at Rex Murphy.
posted by klanawa at 8:55 AM on December 23, 2022
So is, like, NZ the Canada of Australia? I just finished watching Taskmaster NZ. Is NZ real?
Is Canada real?
posted by grouse at 1:37 PM on December 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Is Canada real?
posted by grouse at 1:37 PM on December 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
If a tree falls in canada and there's nobody there to hear it, and it doesn't make a sound:
a) is it because it fell in the snow?
b) is it cause every sane canadian is indoors?
c) canada doesn't exist
posted by not_on_display at 3:04 PM on December 26, 2022
a) is it because it fell in the snow?
b) is it cause every sane canadian is indoors?
c) canada doesn't exist
posted by not_on_display at 3:04 PM on December 26, 2022
Awwww, I heard Jacinda is stepping down. I hope the next chapter of her life is a positive-karmic windfall for her.
Why can't we have good things? Cause we always break'em. (I'm talking humanity in general, not nation-specific...)
posted by not_on_display at 6:11 PM on January 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
Why can't we have good things? Cause we always break'em. (I'm talking humanity in general, not nation-specific...)
posted by not_on_display at 6:11 PM on January 19, 2023 [1 favorite]
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