Oddly, Belgium wasn't protesting the "beer" part
April 22, 2023 1:55 PM   Subscribe

 
I'm not sure being in any way associated with Miller High Life is a particularly worthwhile marketing opportunity for a well established upmarket product.
posted by Dysk at 2:17 PM on April 22, 2023 [12 favorites]


Miller High Life is, at best, a xerox of champagne
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 2:17 PM on April 22, 2023 [13 favorites]




It takes a reasonably large frat party to crush 2,000 beers
posted by grokus at 2:21 PM on April 22, 2023 [10 favorites]


I ain't feelin' happy 'bout the state of things in my life, but I'm workin' to make it better with a six of Miller High Life.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:21 PM on April 22, 2023 [15 favorites]


Being high on the list of shit beer isn't exactly the sort of endorsement that is likely to impress champagne houses, or their customers.
posted by Dysk at 2:22 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


Miller gets a free pity party in a high stakes beer market, just when Bud drinkers are wondering what to switch to in order to avoid emasculation. They must move quickly to capitalize on it.
posted by Brian B. at 2:24 PM on April 22, 2023 [6 favorites]


Belgium RN
posted by brundlefly at 2:41 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


I have nothing to say about the French and their ownership of the word champagne. I guess they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do and frankly, it was a good PR stunt. But I’m going to put it out there that I like beer. I like a great variety of brands and styles. While I’m not a connoisseur, I think that I know enough about beer that I can tell when a beer is meh, good, pretty good, excellent or beyond. In the ashbury beer rating scale Miller High Life is somewhere between good and pretty good (but closer to good). It’s crisp, clean and finishes nicely. In comparison PBR is meh edging towards good. Budweiser is pretty good. I can’t speak for American craft beers but I’m quite happy with the state of affairs in the beer world in Ontario. There is a time and place for all beers including the so-called American crap beers. Looking down on these beverages is just beer elitism.
posted by ashbury at 2:51 PM on April 22, 2023 [5 favorites]


Is this the time to mention that I once thought Steve Winwood’s “ Back in the High Life Again” was about falling off the wagon?
posted by heyitsgogi at 3:03 PM on April 22, 2023 [11 favorites]


Steve Winwood was more of a Michelob guy.
posted by box at 3:33 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


I missed a rating in ashbury’s beer rating: generic. Coors Light is a meh to good beer but they did something quite special with it by setting the standard for generic. In Canada Labatt’s Blue and Molson Canadian are okay beers but they’re generic and boring. My generic beer of choice is the cheap and generic tall can Lowenbrau, made by Labatt. Very drinkable when cold, with a lime or a few tablespoons of grapefruit juice it’s delicious.

Differing opinions are more than welcome because obviously only you decide which beers drinkable and which aren’t. 😊
posted by ashbury at 3:33 PM on April 22, 2023 [3 favorites]


Why is American beer like making love in a canoe?

It's fucking close to water.
posted by brundlefly at 3:34 PM on April 22, 2023 [6 favorites]


crushes 2,000 cans of Miller High Life over ‘champagne of beers’ slogan

It's not from Champagne region of France, so it's just sparkling beer.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:49 PM on April 22, 2023 [10 favorites]


Lowenbrau

My circle of friends always left off the en...
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:49 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


Oh sure, it’s fine when it’s Miller High Life but next thing you know they’re taking your Canada Dry – the champagne of ginger ales, and then who’s laughing.

Incidentally, while we might think of Trappist ales and lambics when we think of Belgium, the most popular beer there is Jupiler, a pale lager brewed with corn added to its mash, ie an American style lager.
posted by rodlymight at 4:14 PM on April 22, 2023 [10 favorites]


No matter how popular the slogan is in the United States, it is incompatible with European Union rules which make clear that goods infringing a protected designation of origin can be treated as counterfeit.

I doubt Miller has ever claimed or even insinuated their beer is from the Champagne region of France, and I doubt anyone has ever thought it was.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:25 PM on April 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


Incidentally, while we might think of Trappist ales and lambics when we think of Belgium, the most popular beer there is Jupiler, a pale lager brewed with corn added to its mash, ie an American style lager.

... and it is fucking awful. like one step up from cara pils which itself barely beats out the store brand delhaize 365 'beer.'

Jupiler: When you're 50 cents short of a Stella.
posted by logicpunk at 4:49 PM on April 22, 2023 [8 favorites]


There was another beer from Days Gone By I was thinking of recently that I realized wasn't on the shelves anymore.
If it was another low priced import from the Lowenbrau era, you might be thinking of Kronenbourg.
Now sometimes findable as Kronenbourg 1664.

It's fucking close to water.
If Miller High Life has a standout quality in the modern beer marketplace, it is that MLH is exemplary of the kind of American beer this mid-20th-century joke refers to.
If you're ever curious about how beer was in THE BEFORE TIMES, before the microbrew revolution of the 1990's, when all American beer was a weak lager-pilsner produced in massive industrial factories.
If you're ever watching a movie from the 70's and see people drinking Schlitz, or Schaefer, or Blatz or whatever and wonder what it tasted like, drink a bottle of High Life.

You know that line from Sci-Fi classic Demolition Man? "After the Franchise Wars of the early 21st century, ALL restaurants are now Taco Bell." Imagine a past America as some kind of "Oh Yes, ALL beer in Europe is now Heineken."
posted by bartleby at 4:51 PM on April 22, 2023 [7 favorites]


Came here for the Steve Winwood reference and the “just sparkling X” joke, and I was not disappointed. Amid the senseless destruction of some perfectly adequate beer, you folks brought me a smile.
posted by armeowda at 4:59 PM on April 22, 2023 [5 favorites]


Lowenbrau isn’t an import in Ontario. Labatt is licensed to brew it. Molson Golden is a beer that’s disappeared. I liked it back when but who knows if my taste buds would appreciate it today.

Here’s something interesting: Rolling Rock in the U.S. is worse than meh but in Ontario it’s pretty good to almost excellent.

Champagne has become an adjective and I’m curious about how the usage of a proper noun can be licensed or trademarked or whatever it is. Will they come after me if i name my child Champagne? Or my dog?
posted by ashbury at 5:09 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


The Lake Champlain of bottled beers...
posted by jim in austin at 5:09 PM on April 22, 2023 [9 favorites]


If Miller sales go up because Bud drinkers are disaffected and they see this 2,000 beer sacrifice in the EU as some sort of flag for them to support the brand, then I really don't have any problem with this. It's part of Molson Coors, which is itself a part of a conglomerate, but is NOT part of Bud-world.

Molson Coors is also a big supporter of Pride and has a pretty sizeable emphasis on diversity, equity and inclusion, because of course it does, so fleeing from Bud Light to Miller isn't exactly going to advance the cause.

It's pretty hard to find an actively anti-LGBT beer; the trend-chasing "Ultra Right" beer is selling for $19.95 for a six pack of light beer, but pretty clearly doesn't currently exist - the brewery that it claimed was brewing and canning it has said that they've turned it down.
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:14 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


Molson Golden is a beer that’s disappeared

Oh lord. That commercial for it from the mid-80s.

I mean, I guess it counts as effective advertising if I'm remembering that specific ad close to 40 years later.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2023 [3 favorites]


"Oh Yes, ALL beer in Europe is now Heineken."

Dennis Hopper has entered the chat [NSFW].
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:18 PM on April 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


It's not from Champagne region of France, so it's just sparkling beer.

"The sparkling beer of champagnes." If they have the guts to keep the fight going.
posted by Brian B. at 5:21 PM on April 22, 2023 [5 favorites]


Champagne has become an adjective and I’m curious about how the usage of a proper noun can be licensed or trademarked or whatever it is.

It's actually diplomacy rather than traditional intellectual property. Champagne is considered a French cultural treasure, and France wants to maintain its status as sparkling wine made only using grapes from and in the Champagne region. So, the EU, the UK and the US (and I assume many other places) have clauses in their trade deals with France saying "we promise not to sell sparkling wine not made in France under the name "champagne". In the case of the US you could call your Napa Valley sparkling wine champagne up until 2006, I think, and then all Reiming ceased.
posted by running order squabble fest at 5:24 PM on April 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


"The sparkling beer of champagnes." If they have the guts to keep the fight going.
posted by Brian B. at 20:21 on 4/22


I believe the only alcohol in the US that must be made in a certain area is Tennessee Whiskey, making Champagne the Tennessee of France
posted by I paid money to offer this... insight? at 5:28 PM on April 22, 2023 [10 favorites]


If you're ever curious about how beer was in THE BEFORE TIMES, before the microbrew revolution of the 1990's, when all American beer was a weak lager-pilsner produced in massive industrial factories.

QFT. Growing up in the 70s in America I HATED the taste of beer, couldn't understand why people wanted to drink it at all. Then in college someone plunked down an "import" beer in front of me (probably lager, maybe Heineken Dark?) and ordered me to try it...after the first sip I literally said "OHHhhh, this is what beer is supposed to taste like!"

---

Will they come after me if i name my child Champagne? Or my dog?

Or your supernova?
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:49 PM on April 22, 2023 [4 favorites]


Fun fact: Champaign county, IL, is named after Champaign county, OH. The Ohio county was named using the French word for "open, level country".

Miller could probably just use lower case and be fine, or change a few letters to make it about their Midwest heritage...
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:59 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


the champers of oat sodas
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:07 PM on April 22, 2023 [1 favorite]


isn't high life that french movie where everyone falls into a black hole with a sex machine
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 6:07 PM on April 22, 2023 [5 favorites]


Is that not Disney's "The Black Hole"?
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


"Being high on the list of shit beer isn't exactly the sort of endorsement that is likely to impress champagne houses, or their customers."

Likewise, shit beer drinkers aren't likely to be impressed by champagne drinkers.
posted by ITravelMontana at 6:40 PM on April 22, 2023


Miller beer, the beer of choice in 1980 Oswego state university.

Mainly because the brewery was 10 miles away in Fulton, and the company sold 1/4 kegs to employees for $5 on Fridays.
posted by Marky at 6:43 PM on April 22, 2023 [3 favorites]


What shocks be is that there could be found 2,000 cans of Miller beer on Belgian territory.
posted by ocschwar at 7:16 PM on April 22, 2023 [3 favorites]


High Life for my real friends, real life for my high friends
posted by gwint at 7:50 PM on April 22, 2023 [8 favorites]


Shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:12 PM on April 22, 2023 [7 favorites]


Miller High Life is, at best, a xerox of champagne

More like a mimeograph of champagne.
posted by TedW at 8:26 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


Ay English, it is a beer, but it is not a Miller Genuine Draft.
posted by credulous at 8:37 PM on April 22, 2023


I have always admired Miller High Life’s look, especially the bottles but also the cans. Similar to PBR where they don’t fuck up the old look.

My spouse did a blind cheap beer tasting with friends. The winner - surprise to all - was Tecate.
posted by vunder at 10:05 PM on April 22, 2023 [3 favorites]


beer is good
posted by philip-random at 10:38 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


> More like a mimeograph of champagne.

I thought of this, but I wasn’t sure whether “mimeograph” had ever been a protected trade name.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 10:57 PM on April 22, 2023 [2 favorites]


Champagne of beer? It's like Bud, the piss of the last leper in hell.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:22 AM on April 23, 2023


Champagne is one of many protected regional products not just in France but throughout Europe.

If someone were to sell bottled beverages with the words 'Just like Miller High Life' on the label, they'd be hearing from that company's lawyers in an instant.

Regional producers and companies should absolutely protect their regional brand, as long as we live in a world where other corporations do the same with their brands. This seems like a non-issue to me.
posted by UN at 1:56 AM on April 23, 2023 [5 favorites]


They’re only now noticing the slogan? High Life has been “The Champagne of Bottled Beers” since at least the 1950s. They dropped “Bottled” when they started canning the stuff.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:19 AM on April 23, 2023 [3 favorites]


No, it's only now being imported into the EU by somebody.
posted by Dysk at 3:28 AM on April 23, 2023 [3 favorites]


The champagne producers' organization is very protective of the name - in the 90s Saint Laurent brought out a perfume called Champagne and were successfully sued for it. The perfume is still being sold, but now it's called Yvresse. Like a lot of European countries, France has pretty strict rules on baby names, so no, if you are French, you can't call your baby Champagne either.
posted by Fuchsoid at 4:48 AM on April 23, 2023 [1 favorite]


Lowenbrau isn’t an import in Ontario. Labatt is licensed to brew it. Molson Golden is a beer that’s disappeared.

I'm a bit out of date on Ontario beer law having been out of country for 17 years but back when I worked at the Fleet Street molson brewery in the late 80's and early 90s all foreign beers had to be domestically brewed and bottled to get into Brewer's Retail (now The Beer Store). At some point the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) was allowed to sell low volumes of genuinely imported beer. Late eighties perhaps?

Molson Golden started disappearing from the Canadian domestic market in the early eighties but was a strong US export for a long time after (Weirdly Molson Export was not!). During my four summers at the Toronto brewery we only ran Golden bottling lines for export to the US. Never bottled Golden for domestic distribution
posted by srboisvert at 5:17 AM on April 23, 2023


The last time I had Miller was during my first year of university. I liked the many-sided can. Then I discovered La Fin du Monde, and was forever spoiled by the concept of beer having flavour.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 5:20 AM on April 23, 2023


Was thinking of traveling through Cincinnati years ago and all the beers were local brews that I knew nothing about! Forget the names but maybe Hamms or Berger or some such.
posted by nofundy at 6:01 AM on April 23, 2023


Jupiler: When you're 50 cents short of a Stella.

When I lived in Brussels in 2000, Maes was the cheap (terrible) party beer of choice. I see it is currently owned by subsidiary of Heineken.
posted by mmascolino at 6:06 AM on April 23, 2023 [1 favorite]


nofundy: current Hudepohl beers

As a long time transplant to Cincinnati, Hudy 14-K and Hudy Delight get the most love from people born and raised here. Hudy Festival Bock is a good version of the style.
posted by mmascolino at 6:10 AM on April 23, 2023


A decade or so back I had the pleasure of living in the former soviet Republic of Georgia, where I became acquainted with Russia's preeminent purveyor of fine alcoholated products, Baltica and let me tell you. No one has achieved more in the super shitty beer space. The various offerings are numbered, as even coming up with something like "genuine ice dry gold light" is too effortful.

Baltica 7 is sort of drinkable, but Baltica 9 is similar to watered down gasoline with beet sugar in it.
posted by heyitsgogi at 6:58 AM on April 23, 2023 [6 favorites]


Living in eastern China for a bit in the mid-'90s, I encountered a number of "beer"s that were basically carbonated formaldehyde. These were sold from night stands on the street that also sold bootleg Marlboros. I like to think that drinking those beers has preserved my innards for future generations to study.
posted by the sobsister at 8:30 AM on April 23, 2023 [2 favorites]


Re. Champagne

On May 5th we will be releasing our collab beer.
Brewed by the Stockholm micro brewery Underjord.
A NEIPA at 6.5% ABV brewed with a kilo of locally grown hemp.
Named Hampagne - only 90 litres. Micro as I said..
Starts selling at 4:20 (16:20 local time)
At Babajan in Stockholm - should you be passing
posted by jan murray at 1:42 PM on April 23, 2023 [2 favorites]


Sham Poo was the label name of fake dog turds sold in Spencers in the 80s

I think we can wrap things up now
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:29 PM on April 23, 2023 [1 favorite]


When I visited Belgium I thought Jupiter beer was just fine.

Yes. I'm American.
posted by ocschwar at 3:59 PM on April 23, 2023


going to drink 2 year old Orval when I get home...
posted by Homemade Interossiter at 8:18 AM on April 24, 2023


Orval

My brain keeps trying to turn that into Ovaltine...
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:13 AM on April 24, 2023


Champagne sucks so I think it's a fair equivalence.
posted by GoblinHoney at 10:21 AM on April 24, 2023


ok, but why destroy them, couldn't they just slap a big 'return to sender' sticker on them?
posted by hydra77 at 11:41 AM on April 24, 2023


As a display of discontent, that would be far less of an ostentatious public one.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:25 PM on April 24, 2023


but why destroy them, couldn't they just slap a big 'return to sender' sticker on them?

Let's say you've just stopped am entire container of fake designer branded goods, let's say Louis Vuitton bags, coming off a ship at the docks. Do you destroy the counterfeit goods illegally using the trademark? Or do you just go "eh" and send the goods back to where they came from?

By EU law, this product illegally infringes on the protected champagne appellation. Sending it away to where you do not have jurisdiction to enforce that appellation does not solve that problem.
posted by Dysk at 6:26 PM on April 24, 2023 [4 favorites]


Like a lot of European countries, France has pretty strict rules on baby names, so no, if you are French, you can't call your baby Champagne either.

To be fair, you also can't call your baby "Sparkling Wine". Or indeed "Miller High Life".
posted by running order squabble fest at 10:33 AM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]


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