fast food, slow reflection, aliens, alienation, research, & authenticity

June 6, 2024 8:02 AM

Graduate Assistant Four Fronds Turning had made the best guacamole that Mike had ever tasted in his original or post-revival life, and it was all wrong. "The Jaxicans' Authentic Reconstruction of Taco Tuesday #37" by Stephen Granade is a short, bittersweet science fiction story (published in April in Strange Horizons) in which Mike makes a few meals and a few friends. Content warnings are available behind the "show warnings" button at the top.
posted by brainwane (19 comments total)

content warning: spiders
posted by supermedusa at 8:15 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]

The gas chromatograph agrees that this is excellent guacamole.
posted by HearHere at 8:31 AM on June 6 [5 favorites]

Too bad they didn't recreate the wonder that is Taco John's, where tater tot rounds are a de rigueur taco ingredient.
posted by jonp72 at 8:55 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]

This made me sad. Well written, but sad.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:03 AM on June 6 [3 favorites]

This is a derail but can someone tell me or if that's too spoilery memail me why it has the spider/insect content warning? This is purely for my curiosity, I read the whole thing and I didn't catch anything about bugs?
posted by Wretch729 at 9:36 AM on June 6 [2 favorites]

Have not read yet but always a good day when there's a story posted by brainwane
posted by PikeMatchbox at 9:50 AM on June 6 [5 favorites]

johnp72: the franchisee up here in Fargo-Moorhead literally closed every single Taco John's for a 40-mile radius last fall. We are hurting badly, please send Meat and Potato Burritos.

Wretch729: I think that's a generic warning, that the aliens are non-anthropomorphic.
posted by AzraelBrown at 9:52 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]

I figure the "spiders/insects" warning might be because of the mention of crab-and-lobster meat.

Thanks for the kind words, PikeMatchbox.
posted by brainwane at 9:56 AM on June 6

BTW, author Stephen Granade has written more short fiction you can read, as well as games you can play.

And: the bit in "Jaxicans'" that stuck most with me may be:

His mom hadn’t liked it, either. The Subway near their apartment gave a sticker for every sub you bought. Ten got you a free sandwich. His mom ordered veggie subs until she could get her seafood sub for free. Mike asked her why she got it if she didn’t like it. “It costs the most,” she’d said.

That detail, illustrating how scarcity distorts our choices, echoed feelings I also got from reading my spouse Leonard Richardson's novel Constellation Games and Jon Bois's multimedia work 17776. What minmaxing am I doing, right now, reflexively, not because I desire the end result but because I want to squeeze the most objectively valuable prize out of the game available to me?

And -- related front page post from a few years ago, about remembering a beloved franchise restaurant dish (in this case a soup from Olive Garden), and learning to make it for oneself.
posted by brainwane at 10:07 AM on June 6 [6 favorites]

This really hit the spot for me, not just because it's good but because I was having guacamole for lunch when I saw it. It's good guacamole, by my lights, but it was made in a New England deli section, so what is the nature of its goodness?
posted by Countess Elena at 10:13 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]

Also: I appreciated the reminder of how funding institutions and fast food franchises alike try to bed-of-Procrustes human endeavors and needs, and how wildness finds a way.
posted by brainwane at 11:04 AM on June 6 [1 favorite]

Hi, I'm the author, it's me. It delights me that this is on MeFi. Thanks for that and the links to my other stuff, brainwane!

Taco Tuesday doesn't exist, but the Taco Tico I based it on did, at least during my childhood. The Subway example was also drawn from my life. I'm really glad that stuck with you, brainwane. It's a lesson I'm still unlearning today.
posted by sgranade at 11:08 AM on June 6 [30 favorites]

Aha - thought I was getting Taco Tico vibes! There was one in my childhood town of Pine Hills, FL. We also did the Subway thing when I was growing up because poor. We all ate Veggie subs until we got that magical 10th stamp and then it was what you wanted - usually a Subway Club for me, a BMT for my sister.

Thanks for the story!
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:01 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the story, sgranade and brainwane!
posted by joannemerriam at 1:16 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]

johnp72: the franchisee up here in Fargo-Moorhead literally closed every single Taco John's for a 40-mile radius last fall. We are hurting badly, please send Meat and Potato Burritos.

That's a shame. They closed the Taco John's in the Minneapolis skyway, but we still have them Eagan, Roseville, and St. Paul.

sgranade, you are welcome to come along for a Taco John's excursion if you are in the Twin Cities any time soon.
posted by jonp72 at 4:10 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]

I appreciated how the protagonist was trans-coded with a BLÅHAJ.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:12 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]

Twin Cities Taco John’s is dead to me. The super-hot sauce is no longer—just some crap in a packet. I was always happy to pay twice what Taco Hell wanted for a bean burrito if I got the super-hot sauce. The story was good, by the way.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 9:33 PM on June 6 [2 favorites]

Mike was the only Taco Tuesday employee in all of existence, so he had to cover every station. He moved from the register to the line, steaming the tortillas, filling them with meat, squirting sour cream from the sour cream gun. His mind quieted while his hands moved. He could do this asleep. In fact, it turned out he could do it after death.

(emphasis mine.) *chef's kiss*
posted by mikelieman at 5:23 AM on June 7 [1 favorite]

Yes, thanks for the story! At one point I wondered "wait, how can an alien understand human body language enough to know they're disappointed, and human culture/language enough to build these environments so faithfully in the first place, but not know our psychology enough to know why we'd be disappointed?" But of course that was followed up by "well they're aliens, having strange-to-us patterns of what knowledge is obvious and what is not is extremely realistic."
posted by traveler_ at 12:10 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]