Many of our ideas around sexuality and queerness are a little incoherent
June 7, 2024 11:08 AM Subscribe
The idea that food can turn you gay speaks to the depth of how food is coded. Food is used as both a signifier of the self and fuel for the body, the singular act of digestion taking what you see on the outside and literally turning it into yourself on the inside. You don’t just enjoy ice cream. Ice cream becomes you. What does that make you, and in return, what do you make it? Maybe the fear goes deeper, and finally smacks against something it’s been circling around in the dark. We know ice cream cannot make you gay. But if we are what we eat, there is the chance then, that what we eat could reflect, or affect, who we are. And could make us realize, in terror and glory, that who we thought we were is not so fixed. from The Food That Makes You Gay by Jaya Saxena [Eater]
metafilter: just an endless bukkake of hot sauce.
posted by lalochezia at 11:26 AM on June 7 [38 favorites]
posted by lalochezia at 11:26 AM on June 7 [38 favorites]
I was not prepared for these comments.
Well done.
posted by The Manwich Horror at 11:35 AM on June 7 [6 favorites]
Well done.
posted by The Manwich Horror at 11:35 AM on June 7 [6 favorites]
There are seemingly no foods that make you a lesbian.
I mean . . .
posted by thivaia at 11:36 AM on June 7 [27 favorites]
I mean . . .
posted by thivaia at 11:36 AM on June 7 [27 favorites]
David Mehnert wrote of learning from a 10-year-old classmate that gay men are identifiable because they “always order BLTs.”
sigh. more bi-erasure
posted by uncleozzy at 11:39 AM on June 7 [16 favorites]
sigh. more bi-erasure
posted by uncleozzy at 11:39 AM on June 7 [16 favorites]
avocados in BLTs are the new hanky code
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:40 AM on June 7 [15 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 11:40 AM on June 7 [15 favorites]
If you don’t understand it, here’s what Watters was getting at, and what others online ran away with: Ice cream is soft and sweet and fussy, and it drips sticky onto your skin, and you need to lick it with your fat, wet tongue and your wide, open lips, going until you’ve sucked the last melted drop right out of the tip of the cone and welcome it with a final moan of pleasure, and what kind of man would be seen doing that?
I didn't know it was possible to write ice cream fanfic!
posted by supermedusa at 11:41 AM on June 7 [19 favorites]
I didn't know it was possible to write ice cream fanfic!
posted by supermedusa at 11:41 AM on June 7 [19 favorites]
just an endless bukkake of hot sauce.
Don't get it in your eye.
posted by yellowcandy at 11:42 AM on June 7 [2 favorites]
Don't get it in your eye.
posted by yellowcandy at 11:42 AM on June 7 [2 favorites]
There are seemingly no foods that make you a lesbian.
I mean . . .
posted by thivaia at 11:36 AM
Wait...is that a joke about tacos?
posted by eustatic at 11:45 AM on June 7 [11 favorites]
I mean . . .
posted by thivaia at 11:36 AM
Wait...is that a joke about tacos?
posted by eustatic at 11:45 AM on June 7 [11 favorites]
you need to lick it with your fat, wet tongue and your wide, open lips, going until you’ve sucked the last melted drop right out of the tip of the cone and welcome it with a final moan of pleasure
...or you could just eat it, rather reenacting what a 15 year old imagines a blowjob is like.
posted by Dysk at 11:45 AM on June 7 [7 favorites]
...or you could just eat it, rather reenacting what a 15 year old imagines a blowjob is like.
posted by Dysk at 11:45 AM on June 7 [7 favorites]
avocados in BLTs are the new hanky code
I've been eating a lot of TTLAs this summer. I wonder what I'm signalling.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 11:46 AM on June 7 [1 favorite]
I've been eating a lot of TTLAs this summer. I wonder what I'm signalling.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 11:46 AM on June 7 [1 favorite]
I used to go to a local brunch place and order the Lettuce Guacamole Bacon and Tomato sandwich. It was a good sandwich.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:52 AM on June 7 [6 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:52 AM on June 7 [6 favorites]
Good God some mens' sense of their own identity is so dang FRAGILE.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:54 AM on June 7 [13 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:54 AM on June 7 [13 favorites]
Good lord, conservatives come up with some stupid shit to fill their heads with. Maybe it all stems from the 1982 book Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche which was, of course, supposed to be a joke but got taken way too seriously by some people. Jesse Watters is ridiculous; no way am I giving up ice cream out of fear it isn’t masculine. And since he apparently has a fear of soup, I have just the thing for him. Maybe we can get a movement started sending him packets of that, much as the proto-Trumpists in the Tea Party movement were sent tea bags a form of ridicule.
posted by TedW at 12:00 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
posted by TedW at 12:00 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
I met a man, an athlete from Australia, who claimed not to eat any fruit at all, no explanation or elaboration offered. I have sometimes wondered what that was all about.
I wonder if this is what it was all about.
posted by Western Infidels at 12:01 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
I wonder if this is what it was all about.
posted by Western Infidels at 12:01 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
I am very interested in what the queer food scene is, and where I might find it in Philadelphia.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:02 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:02 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
I met a man, an athlete from Australia, who claimed not to eat any fruit at all
Whereas a lot of us in the queer community eat fruits quite regularly.
Wait, are we talking about the same thing?
posted by Dysk at 12:04 PM on June 7 [12 favorites]
Whereas a lot of us in the queer community eat fruits quite regularly.
Wait, are we talking about the same thing?
posted by Dysk at 12:04 PM on June 7 [12 favorites]
I came in to point out memories of seeing "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" being promoted as a kid on like the Today show. Took me until my adulthood to learn that it was satirizing that dumb idea.
But what do I know - I usually make tortas and frittatas because I don't usually have the patience to futz around with a crust.
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:08 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
But what do I know - I usually make tortas and frittatas because I don't usually have the patience to futz around with a crust.
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:08 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
good lord are the straights okay
posted by Kitteh at 12:10 PM on June 7 [17 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 12:10 PM on June 7 [17 favorites]
I don't think the stigma against of men eating "womanly" food - soft, sweet, lo-cal - is typically as much about the fear of appearing gay as appearing weak. Traditionally, men are expected to able to ignore physical discomfort in the service of achieving physical goals, such as winning in sports or war or doing physical labor. That view of strength and stoicism leads, not entirely without merit, to a standard of drinking your whiskey straight, taking your coffee black, and eating your meat (ideally, which you hunted yourself) rare.
I wonder if the stigma against eating healthy - e.g., fruits and vegetables - is somehow seen as valuing your own health, when the ideal man will sacrifice himself for others. This is, of course, insane on several dimensions, not the least being that the best way to support your family is to eat in a way that minimizes your risk of being sick or dying. And certainly much of the manosphere seems to be focused, if not obsessed, with healthy diets, so at least they've got that going for them.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:11 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
I wonder if the stigma against eating healthy - e.g., fruits and vegetables - is somehow seen as valuing your own health, when the ideal man will sacrifice himself for others. This is, of course, insane on several dimensions, not the least being that the best way to support your family is to eat in a way that minimizes your risk of being sick or dying. And certainly much of the manosphere seems to be focused, if not obsessed, with healthy diets, so at least they've got that going for them.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:11 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
as much about the fear of appearing gay as appearing weak
they're the same picture
posted by uncleozzy at 12:13 PM on June 7 [12 favorites]
they're the same picture
posted by uncleozzy at 12:13 PM on June 7 [12 favorites]
Traditionally, men are expected to able to ignore physical discomfort in the service of achieving physical goals
This is why I only eat ice cream with my teeth
posted by pullayup at 12:13 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
This is why I only eat ice cream with my teeth
posted by pullayup at 12:13 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
rhamphorhynchus: I've been eating a lot of TTLAs this summer. I wonder what I'm signalling.
You got me there. I never even thought that the Texas Trial Lawyers Association was edible.
posted by dr_dank at 12:15 PM on June 7 [10 favorites]
You got me there. I never even thought that the Texas Trial Lawyers Association was edible.
posted by dr_dank at 12:15 PM on June 7 [10 favorites]
We know ice cream cannot make you gay.
But Republicans will pretend they believe it to make a homophobic joke.
Republicans tend to get cranky if you call them homophobic though, so call them a lying fucking dipshit instead.
posted by AlSweigart at 12:24 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
But Republicans will pretend they believe it to make a homophobic joke.
Republicans tend to get cranky if you call them homophobic though, so call them a lying fucking dipshit instead.
posted by AlSweigart at 12:24 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
The only guys who eat Hawaiian pizza are gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn’t look like a party animal to me…
posted by AndrewInDC at 12:27 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
posted by AndrewInDC at 12:27 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
Gosh, I know the USA west coast isn't some enlightened bigotry-free paradise, but it does seem we've been able to move past some of this bullshit. When I moved from NC to CA I thought it was so funny that the signature side dish at a famous central coast BBQ restaurant is a spring mix salad with strawberries. But I also really appreciate that those two things can coexist here.
(I'll never rate tri tip higher than whole hog bbq though 😜)
posted by scose at 12:29 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
(I'll never rate tri tip higher than whole hog bbq though 😜)
posted by scose at 12:29 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
I've thought before that part of the reason why people seem to freak out more about gay men and transfem folks is that whole toxic soup of "abandoning traditional masculinity is being weak, becoming weak, etc"as much about the fear of appearing gay as appearing weakthey're the same picture
This is not to imply that transmasc and lesbians and others don't catch a raft of crap, because of course they do, it just seems to me that the loudest vitriol gets shouted at those perceived to be betraying manliness.
But again... frittatas.
posted by drewbage1847 at 12:38 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
Ice cream, popsicles, bananas. . . .
I love banana popsicles so we usually have a box of them in my freezer when it is hot out. I guess I must be super gay. Who knew?
posted by fimbulvetr at 12:38 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
I love banana popsicles so we usually have a box of them in my freezer when it is hot out. I guess I must be super gay. Who knew?
posted by fimbulvetr at 12:38 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
1-900-ICE-CREAM in Philly makes ice cream tacos (fruit-flavored ones, even) - pretty sus if you ask me
posted by catcafe at 12:39 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
posted by catcafe at 12:39 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
I distinctly remember it being a thing that the guys in my high school ('91-'95), when eating bananas, would break pieces off with their fingers and discreetly pop them in their mouths. Never, ever would a guy be seen eating a banana mouth-to-peel.
Anyway, as has been observed many times before, homophobia is 95% misogyny in (poor) disguise, so here we are once again.
posted by mykescipark at 12:41 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
Anyway, as has been observed many times before, homophobia is 95% misogyny in (poor) disguise, so here we are once again.
posted by mykescipark at 12:41 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
Upon second thought I'm not sure it's just men who get caught up in this....there's this story I ran into a while back, where a woman reported one of her co-workers to HR for sexual harassment because she was "eating sexy potatoes" for lunch. ("Eating sexy potatoes" was just....eating cooked fingerling potatoes as finger food.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:44 PM on June 7 [10 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:44 PM on June 7 [10 favorites]
MetaFilter: eating sexy potatoes
posted by May Kasahara at 12:47 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
posted by May Kasahara at 12:47 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
You will never find a better example of this ridiculous phenomenon than from this Hummer ad from a while ago.
Of course, of course, of course it's a Hummer ad.
posted by zardoz at 12:51 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
Of course, of course, of course it's a Hummer ad.
posted by zardoz at 12:51 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: eating sexy potatoes
Hardcore taters
posted by Reverend John at 1:10 PM on June 7 [22 favorites]
Hardcore taters
posted by Reverend John at 1:10 PM on June 7 [22 favorites]
The straights are never okay. When I was a self-conscious teen girl, I would only eat a banana in public if I could break or cut it up first. This was to avoid some rando taking it as an invitation to sexual harassment. It doesn’t actually take an excuse for a guy to do this, but I hadn’t realized that yet.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:11 PM on June 7 [11 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 1:11 PM on June 7 [11 favorites]
Also, after reading the first paragraph of tfa: what the genuine ever-loving fuck?
posted by Reverend John at 1:11 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
posted by Reverend John at 1:11 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
If i eat a banana in public I split it into its natural thirds.
posted by brujita at 1:26 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
posted by brujita at 1:26 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
One time in Chicago before a concert at the metro I wandered too far and got hungry. Ended up in what I later learned was called boystown. Found a place that I didn't know was vegan. Ordered nachos and an organic beer from the most 1980s central casting effeminate gay man I'd ever met (maybe it was camp for show, I think called me a gladiator - I'm a white hetero also right out of central casting as average guy who probably grew up in suburban ohio). The nachos were incredible, no idea what they put on it to make them so good. And that beer (St Peter's organic English ale) became a staple. I'd eat there again if it still existed, hold that man's hand if he needed a friend, and damn those were good nachos.
This article was stupid. But it did remind me of the nachos.
posted by chasles at 1:51 PM on June 7 [16 favorites]
This article was stupid. But it did remind me of the nachos.
posted by chasles at 1:51 PM on June 7 [16 favorites]
There are seemingly no foods that make you a lesbian.
[slaps roof of Subaru] This baby can fit so many Indigo Girls in it
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:05 PM on June 7 [25 favorites]
[slaps roof of Subaru] This baby can fit so many Indigo Girls in it
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:05 PM on June 7 [25 favorites]
I guess I mean the concept not the article. Anyway you know what I meant.
posted by chasles at 2:24 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
posted by chasles at 2:24 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
Say I've eaten a banana or a corndog and now I'm gay. When I'm with a guy am I supposed to peel the skin off his unit like a banana, or slather it in hot mustard before taking a big bite off the end like a corndog? Neither sounds very fun for either of us, but maybe I'm confused about how this whole food-to-gay process works.
posted by indexy at 2:30 PM on June 7 [10 favorites]
posted by indexy at 2:30 PM on June 7 [10 favorites]
I'm food-curious.
posted by SoberHighland at 2:37 PM on June 7 [8 favorites]
posted by SoberHighland at 2:37 PM on June 7 [8 favorites]
One time in Chicago before a concert at the metro I wandered too far and got hungry. Ended up in what I later learned was called boystown. Found a place that I didn't know was vegan.
The late Cafe Voltaire (on Clark), maybe?
posted by fluttering hellfire at 2:42 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
The late Cafe Voltaire (on Clark), maybe?
posted by fluttering hellfire at 2:42 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
(I'm guessing it was the Chicago Diner)
posted by SoberHighland at 2:47 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
posted by SoberHighland at 2:47 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
To be fair, a straight guy eating a banana can be pretty gay (about 3:25 in).
I've been eating a lot of TTLAs this summer. I wonder what I'm signalling.
Your Subaru needs an oil change.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:03 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
I've been eating a lot of TTLAs this summer. I wonder what I'm signalling.
Your Subaru needs an oil change.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:03 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
I'm food-curious.
Bite-curious? Although that might be an issue if there are vampires around....
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:33 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Bite-curious? Although that might be an issue if there are vampires around....
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:33 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Tea sandwiches like cucumber and cream cheese are the new taco...Cut in triangles and crusts cut off!
posted by Czjewel at 3:46 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
posted by Czjewel at 3:46 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
avocados in BLTs are the new hanky code
Can there be an inherently queerer sandwich than Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon, and Tomato?
(NB: I am a huge BLT fan, and would happily eat one with guac or any other form of avocado added.)
--Ah, I see I'm late to that particular joke.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 3:49 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Can there be an inherently queerer sandwich than Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon, and Tomato?
(NB: I am a huge BLT fan, and would happily eat one with guac or any other form of avocado added.)
--Ah, I see I'm late to that particular joke.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 3:49 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Thinking about soft server ice cream, that requires dexterous use if the tongue. Something that might be useful in orally pleasuring someone with a vulva. Which, in my mind at least, is considered a heterosexual act when preformed by someone male presenting. Then again, it is about giving pleasure to a woman, which I suppose is gay by their definitions. (see any and all memes about Ben Shapiro being unable to arouse his wife or any other woman for more on this)
posted by Hactar at 4:11 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
posted by Hactar at 4:11 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Good grief, fruity slushy cocktails don't make you gay.
...But the little paper umbrellas do, for petes sake stay away from those!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:21 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
...But the little paper umbrellas do, for petes sake stay away from those!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:21 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
It was a while ago I got wind of the notion that Real Men don't eat sweets, I think in a scenario of an Older advising a Younger to wean himself off that stuff, because not only is it unhealthy, but an appetite for such Doesn't Look Good.
I also made a note from much earlier that when bananas were first introduced into England in the Victorian era, people didn't know how to serve them to ladies and the eventual protocol decided upon was peeled, on a dish, with a knife and fork; so she could easily cut it into bite-sized chunks.
posted by Rash at 4:23 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
I also made a note from much earlier that when bananas were first introduced into England in the Victorian era, people didn't know how to serve them to ladies and the eventual protocol decided upon was peeled, on a dish, with a knife and fork; so she could easily cut it into bite-sized chunks.
posted by Rash at 4:23 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
Mrs. Caviar and I often browse the web at dinner. I was eating two big pieces of manly cheese quiche when I found this post. But also bacon! But wait, also fresh blueberries and grapes! I’m so confused …
posted by caviar2d2 at 4:45 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
posted by caviar2d2 at 4:45 PM on June 7 [4 favorites]
It must be so exhausting being this kind of conservative. Having to worry every second of every day about literally everything you eat, say, do, watch, listen to, etc making you gay or weak or liberal or whatever. What a miserable fucking life where you can't even let yourself enjoy ice cream.
posted by star gentle uterus at 5:20 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
posted by star gentle uterus at 5:20 PM on June 7 [13 favorites]
But again... frittatas.
Thank you for adding another contender to the “Epitaphs I’m Workshopping” list
posted by thivaia at 5:29 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
Thank you for adding another contender to the “Epitaphs I’m Workshopping” list
posted by thivaia at 5:29 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
1-900-ICE-CREAM in Philly makes ice cream tacos (fruit-flavored ones, even) - pretty sus if you ask me
fishtown only?! aww...
...though it certainly completes the joke.
also, i never really got men's salacious reaction to people eating bananas/pickles/anythig else vaguely cylindrical: yes, i'm putting the phallus-analog in my mouth, but then i'm biting the end off and destroying it through chewing past ANY possible hope of reattachment. you would likely not enjoy this if it were done to you, and if by some small chance that actually does get your motor revving, it's an experience you would only be able to have at most once in your life.
posted by Clowder of bats at 6:27 PM on June 7 [8 favorites]
fishtown only?! aww...
...though it certainly completes the joke.
also, i never really got men's salacious reaction to people eating bananas/pickles/anythig else vaguely cylindrical: yes, i'm putting the phallus-analog in my mouth, but then i'm biting the end off and destroying it through chewing past ANY possible hope of reattachment. you would likely not enjoy this if it were done to you, and if by some small chance that actually does get your motor revving, it's an experience you would only be able to have at most once in your life.
posted by Clowder of bats at 6:27 PM on June 7 [8 favorites]
As B. Dylan Hollis said when confronted with a "candle salad" involving half a banana standing vertically on a plate: "I don't know whether to get a knife and fork or tie my hair back."
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:38 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:38 PM on June 7 [5 favorites]
It must be so exhausting being this kind of conservative.
It's stupid, misogynistic, and at least implicitly homophobic, yes, but if you watch the clip, he seems to be having fun. I don't think they are feeling exhausted so much as joyful.
Anyone who's been an adolescent boy remembers the joy of this sort of mockery. The thing is, most of us grow out of it.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:49 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
It's stupid, misogynistic, and at least implicitly homophobic, yes, but if you watch the clip, he seems to be having fun. I don't think they are feeling exhausted so much as joyful.
Anyone who's been an adolescent boy remembers the joy of this sort of mockery. The thing is, most of us grow out of it.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:49 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
TedW, why did workers decline to dine with Hostmen?
Keelmen don’t eat riche
posted by HearHere at 8:06 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
Keelmen don’t eat riche
posted by HearHere at 8:06 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
There are seemingly no foods that make you a lesbian.
oysters?
posted by kokaku at 9:02 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
oysters?
posted by kokaku at 9:02 PM on June 7 [1 favorite]
I posted this article in another conference recently with the comment: Nearly everything "everyone knows" about food, eating, gender, and sexuality are the completely wrong ideas of early 20th century cranks repeating the just-so stories of 19th century crackpots who were misinterpreting 18th century weirdos.
Cf. “The Cure for Literally Everything | Vegetarianism,”—Knowing Better, 01 October 2023
“Four Times a Day | John Harvey Kellogg,”—Id., 22 November 2023
posted by ob1quixote at 9:31 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Cf. “The Cure for Literally Everything | Vegetarianism,”—Knowing Better, 01 October 2023
“Four Times a Day | John Harvey Kellogg,”—Id., 22 November 2023
posted by ob1quixote at 9:31 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]
Something that might be useful in orally pleasuring someone with a vulva. Which, in my mind at least, is considered a heterosexual act when preformed by someone male presenting.
I have met men who will genuinely tell you that it is gay for a man to go down on a woman. No, they are neither happy nor well-adjusted.
posted by Dysk at 12:28 AM on June 8 [3 favorites]
I have met men who will genuinely tell you that it is gay for a man to go down on a woman. No, they are neither happy nor well-adjusted.
posted by Dysk at 12:28 AM on June 8 [3 favorites]
okay, so, “it’s gay to go down on a woman” is a totally coherent idea:
but yeah basically that’s the patriarchal view of sex and also the innermost kernel of patriarchy itself — the patriarchy as a whole is basically a pearl that grew around the grain of sand that is the interpretation of sex given above.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 1:29 AM on June 8 [11 favorites]
- sex is a form of wrestling match
- wrestling matches have a winner and a loser
- the winner gets to use the loser’s body to do things that make the winner feel good
- the loser is a girl
- if the loser is not a girl, that means the loser is gay
- if you’re doing things with the other person in the wrestling match that makes them feel good in any way that’s not purely incidental to you making yourself feel good, that means that you are the loser, and therefore a girl
- if you are the loser and you’re not a girl, that means you’re gay
but yeah basically that’s the patriarchal view of sex and also the innermost kernel of patriarchy itself — the patriarchy as a whole is basically a pearl that grew around the grain of sand that is the interpretation of sex given above.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 1:29 AM on June 8 [11 favorites]
I got the impression that it was more that "you should be able to satisfy with your dick or you're not a man" but heyo, the idiocies are fungible.
posted by Dysk at 1:55 AM on June 8 [5 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 1:55 AM on June 8 [5 favorites]
It's stupid, misogynistic, and at least implicitly homophobic, yes, but if you watch the clip, he seems to be having fun.
Speaking as a woman who's used this tactic - sometimes a person laughing isn't necessarily laughing because of joy. Sometimes it is a placating and deflecting move ("see, I'm laughing with you, don't attack me"). Or it can be relief ("whew, they accept me").
Anyone who's been an adolescent boy remembers the joy of this sort of mockery. The thing is, most of us grow out of it.
Is it the mockery that's causing the joy, or is it the relief that "omigod these kids think I'm cool and they aren't gonna beat me up yay"?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:39 AM on June 8 [3 favorites]
Speaking as a woman who's used this tactic - sometimes a person laughing isn't necessarily laughing because of joy. Sometimes it is a placating and deflecting move ("see, I'm laughing with you, don't attack me"). Or it can be relief ("whew, they accept me").
Anyone who's been an adolescent boy remembers the joy of this sort of mockery. The thing is, most of us grow out of it.
Is it the mockery that's causing the joy, or is it the relief that "omigod these kids think I'm cool and they aren't gonna beat me up yay"?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:39 AM on June 8 [3 favorites]
The late Cafe Voltaire (on Clark), maybe?
(I'm guessing it was the Chicago Diner)
Wish I could say. Voltaire seems way to far away, and Chicago Diner doesn't look anything like my memory. What I remember is that we walked past Wrigley (I made a blues brothers joke) and it was a like a converted house, I think we went some stairs, and there was no restaurants around so we were relieved to find this one. It was not large, or fancy.
posted by chasles at 5:12 AM on June 8 [2 favorites]
(I'm guessing it was the Chicago Diner)
Wish I could say. Voltaire seems way to far away, and Chicago Diner doesn't look anything like my memory. What I remember is that we walked past Wrigley (I made a blues brothers joke) and it was a like a converted house, I think we went some stairs, and there was no restaurants around so we were relieved to find this one. It was not large, or fancy.
posted by chasles at 5:12 AM on June 8 [2 favorites]
Is it the mockery that's causing the joy, or is it the relief that "omigod these kids think I'm cool and they aren't gonna beat me up yay"?
That's not impossible, but I don't think that's common. This is the type of humor that's fueled thousands of sitcoms and made Hollywood billions. Think the Farrelly brothers and Adam Sandler, among hundreds of others.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 5:47 AM on June 8 [1 favorite]
That's not impossible, but I don't think that's common. This is the type of humor that's fueled thousands of sitcoms and made Hollywood billions. Think the Farrelly brothers and Adam Sandler, among hundreds of others.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 5:47 AM on June 8 [1 favorite]
Wish I could say. Voltaire seems way to far away, and Chicago Diner doesn't look anything like my memory.
You know, if you keep going, you will eventually learn that that eatery burned down in the 60s! OoOoOoO!
Ghost Pride!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:23 AM on June 8 [5 favorites]
You know, if you keep going, you will eventually learn that that eatery burned down in the 60s! OoOoOoO!
Ghost Pride!
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:23 AM on June 8 [5 favorites]
The strangest "that's so gay" thing I've heard about food, I think, was a couple of straight guys complaining that they had both wanted the same item from the menu, but "everyone knows it's gay for two men at table to order the same thing." I can't begin to imagine where that idea came from.
posted by jburka at 8:21 PM on June 8 [4 favorites]
posted by jburka at 8:21 PM on June 8 [4 favorites]
I guess they think it's a bit too much like that one scene from Lady and the Tramp. You'll get the plates mixed up, and before you know it you've slurped some spaghetti so hard you've kissed a dude, and I guess straight guys think being gay is like Pringles? Once you pop, you can't stop?
posted by Dysk at 11:32 PM on June 8 [4 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 11:32 PM on June 8 [4 favorites]
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But it's extra-stupid because if you think about Straight Guy Food, what do you think of? Big drippy racks of ribs, straight off the grill? Sticky spicy hot wings that leave goo oozing down your fingers and chin? There's no dry, clean, stoic Straight Guy Food, just an endless bukkake of hot sauce.
posted by mittens at 11:20 AM on June 7 [51 favorites]