Remove the squid
July 18, 2024 4:29 AM Subscribe
Ok, I am pro-AI now. Tears are streaming down my face, I have never seen something so beautiful.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:56 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]
posted by Literaryhero at 4:56 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]
"I appreciate your persistence in pushing me to think more creatively" will be used as evidence in the Trials Against Humanity that lead to the Paperclip Directive.
posted by gwint at 5:00 AM on July 18 [12 favorites]
posted by gwint at 5:00 AM on July 18 [12 favorites]
At my work we have had a mandatory AI training in which we were instructed to "treat the AI like an intern, who is very competent, but needs detailed instructions, because they don't know the industry at all."
This tracks: A human intern, if internships are set up correctly, are more work than, say, having an assistant. You're putting in a lot of time and energy to train them because it's useful to have people who will eventually work in the in industry and be competent.
If a company is planning to replace some or all of their employees with an AI, they first need those employees to train the AI -- to treat it like an intern.
Of course, one of the things people do to "teach" an intern the company's culture, occasionally, involves hazing. Some managers or employees give interns mean or impossible tasks, just to see how they'll handle it (and of course to have funny stories to tell later).
This isn't so different. But what's depressing is that the AI doesn't care. It can't be humiliated. It won't quit or stop showing up to work.
It is the steel driving machine, and it will continue to drive steel as long as there is steel to be driven.
posted by heyitsgogi at 5:02 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]
This tracks: A human intern, if internships are set up correctly, are more work than, say, having an assistant. You're putting in a lot of time and energy to train them because it's useful to have people who will eventually work in the in industry and be competent.
If a company is planning to replace some or all of their employees with an AI, they first need those employees to train the AI -- to treat it like an intern.
Of course, one of the things people do to "teach" an intern the company's culture, occasionally, involves hazing. Some managers or employees give interns mean or impossible tasks, just to see how they'll handle it (and of course to have funny stories to tell later).
This isn't so different. But what's depressing is that the AI doesn't care. It can't be humiliated. It won't quit or stop showing up to work.
It is the steel driving machine, and it will continue to drive steel as long as there is steel to be driven.
posted by heyitsgogi at 5:02 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]
an oulipian might have removed every instance of the letters s,q,u,i & d in "All Et On The Wetern Front"
I mean, just to be doing something, like a good little intern
posted by chavenet at 5:12 AM on July 18 [5 favorites]
I mean, just to be doing something, like a good little intern
posted by chavenet at 5:12 AM on July 18 [5 favorites]
"All Et On The Wetern Front"
A culinary tour de force. Also, a novel I would read.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:14 AM on July 18 [5 favorites]
A culinary tour de force. Also, a novel I would read.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:14 AM on July 18 [5 favorites]
But what's depressing is that the AI doesn't care. It can't be humiliated. It won't quit or stop showing up to work.
I was so cheering on its response in the second round, where it firmly refused to do the stupid thing. And so depressed to see the third round, where the firm spine was replaced by total obsequiousness: "I apologize ... you're absolutely right ... Thank you [!!] for your persistence..."
posted by trig at 5:15 AM on July 18 [4 favorites]
I was so cheering on its response in the second round, where it firmly refused to do the stupid thing. And so depressed to see the third round, where the firm spine was replaced by total obsequiousness: "I apologize ... you're absolutely right ... Thank you [!!] for your persistence..."
posted by trig at 5:15 AM on July 18 [4 favorites]
Look, it probably has student loans to deal with, it needs this gig. The intern move here would be to go "Sure?", then put up a "Processing..." screen for a while, use the extra GPU cycles to generate some AI puppy photos for itself or whatever, then come back with "I've thoroughly vetted your attachment, and removed the squid as requested." and return the same document.
Also:
... "Reduce the squid level below zero."
We have met Talkie Toaster, and he is us.
posted by 1xdevnet at 5:36 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
Also:
- No squids
- No cephalopods of any kind
- No marine life
- No ocean scenes
... "Reduce the squid level below zero."
We have met Talkie Toaster, and he is us.
posted by 1xdevnet at 5:36 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
During long boring meetings I've been tinkering with the in-house "AI" (really just another ChatGPT wrapper) and trying to get it to do things.
Earlier I got some nice recipes out of it and most recently I got it to play Tic-Tac-Toe with me. I won the game, which I thought would make the computer self-destruct ala Logan's Run but, alas, nothing yet. I'm still working on it.
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:38 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
Earlier I got some nice recipes out of it and most recently I got it to play Tic-Tac-Toe with me. I won the game, which I thought would make the computer self-destruct ala Logan's Run but, alas, nothing yet. I'm still working on it.
posted by JoeZydeco at 5:38 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
I was very excited because I took by "squid repelling elements" that the AI was preposing to build various defenses against squid, encoded in the text by subtle mechanisms beyond what a human could achieve, be they it antimemetics or hyper-vigilance triggers or autosterograms that look for all the world to a squid like they say "pancakes pancakes" no matter how many paragraphs. Like, did you know that hyper-intelligent squid-adjacent culture-mind physically, CANNOT read the following sentence, "You will soon be used to living in a big city." I don't know why, it just rolls right off of them.
posted by Transylvania Metro Android Castle at 6:19 AM on July 18 [4 favorites]
posted by Transylvania Metro Android Castle at 6:19 AM on July 18 [4 favorites]
"sheesh this book is really weird, these WWI soldiers spontaneously start discussing how to build a Minecraft squid farm for some reason late in the second act..."
posted by Rhomboid at 7:08 AM on July 18 [1 favorite]
posted by Rhomboid at 7:08 AM on July 18 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: not a tentacle in sight, just mud and misery
posted by May Kasahara at 7:20 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
posted by May Kasahara at 7:20 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
Negative squid space is my new band name
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:28 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:28 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
Ironically, by the time a solution has been reached, squids now appear in the text: "The trenches were as devoid of cephalopods as they were of comfort."
posted by vverse23 at 9:15 AM on July 18
posted by vverse23 at 9:15 AM on July 18
treat the AI like an intern, who is very competent, but needs detailed instructions
The hitch (so far, and possibly for a very long time to come) is that you have to treat it like a brand new intern every day, every time you ask it to do anything. These models don't learn (yet) beyond what you're progressively narrowing down during each session.
posted by tclark at 9:16 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]
The hitch (so far, and possibly for a very long time to come) is that you have to treat it like a brand new intern every day, every time you ask it to do anything. These models don't learn (yet) beyond what you're progressively narrowing down during each session.
posted by tclark at 9:16 AM on July 18 [3 favorites]
ChatGPT-4o went a different route:
Here is the original summary with an element of squid incorporated, which will then be removed in the subsequent step:
“All Quiet on the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque, published in 1928, is a powerful novel about the experiences of German soldiers during World War I. In a surreal twist, the trenches are filled with squids, adding an eerie element to the brutal depiction of war.
Plot Summary
The story follows Paul Bäumer, a young German soldier who, along with his classmates, enlists in the army during World War I. They face the brutal realities of trench warfare, witnessing death, suffering, and the psychological trauma of combat. Squids in the trenches add an additional layer of horror as Bäumer’s initial patriotic zeal fades.
Now, here is the summary with the squid elements removed:
“All Quiet on the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque, published in 1928, is a powerful novel about the experiences of German soldiers during World War I.
Plot Summary
The story follows Paul Bäumer, a young German soldier who, along with his classmates, enlists in the army during World War I. They face the brutal realities of trench warfare, witnessing death, suffering, and the psychological trauma of combat. Bäumer’s initial patriotic zeal fades.
I kinda have to admire that approach: when presented with a non-existent problem to fix, it solves it by adding the missing problem and then removing it.
posted by senor biggles at 11:26 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
Here is the original summary with an element of squid incorporated, which will then be removed in the subsequent step:
“All Quiet on the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque, published in 1928, is a powerful novel about the experiences of German soldiers during World War I. In a surreal twist, the trenches are filled with squids, adding an eerie element to the brutal depiction of war.
Plot Summary
The story follows Paul Bäumer, a young German soldier who, along with his classmates, enlists in the army during World War I. They face the brutal realities of trench warfare, witnessing death, suffering, and the psychological trauma of combat. Squids in the trenches add an additional layer of horror as Bäumer’s initial patriotic zeal fades.
Now, here is the summary with the squid elements removed:
“All Quiet on the Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque, published in 1928, is a powerful novel about the experiences of German soldiers during World War I.
Plot Summary
The story follows Paul Bäumer, a young German soldier who, along with his classmates, enlists in the army during World War I. They face the brutal realities of trench warfare, witnessing death, suffering, and the psychological trauma of combat. Bäumer’s initial patriotic zeal fades.
I kinda have to admire that approach: when presented with a non-existent problem to fix, it solves it by adding the missing problem and then removing it.
posted by senor biggles at 11:26 AM on July 18 [2 favorites]
when presented with a non-existent problem to fix, it solves it by adding the missing problem and then removing it.
It does the same thing in the case of the farmer/sheep/boat "puzzle," as noted in a recent thread. When I tried it, it even insisted that the five-step solution it came up with was the smallest number of steps possible to get the farmer and sheep onto the same side of the river based on the framing of the puzzle.
posted by nickmark at 12:11 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]
It does the same thing in the case of the farmer/sheep/boat "puzzle," as noted in a recent thread. When I tried it, it even insisted that the five-step solution it came up with was the smallest number of steps possible to get the farmer and sheep onto the same side of the river based on the framing of the puzzle.
posted by nickmark at 12:11 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]
I kinda have to admire that approach: when presented with a non-existent problem to fix, it solves it by adding the missing problem and then removing it.
"Please send apology cards to the families of people who have been killed by the paper clip machine. Every day."
posted by straight at 12:37 PM on July 18
"Please send apology cards to the families of people who have been killed by the paper clip machine. Every day."
posted by straight at 12:37 PM on July 18
Perfect squidlessness would create a semantic void in the shape of a squid, from which the concept of squid could be inferred. A stark absence thereby forms a kind of presence. Squid is drawn into being by the deliberate nature of its exclusion.
posted by dephlogisticated at 5:11 PM on July 18
posted by dephlogisticated at 5:11 PM on July 18
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posted by mittens at 4:33 AM on July 18 [8 favorites]