Lazy is a coward's term
July 19, 2024 2:56 PM Subscribe
Jim Smith of the YouTube channel Midwest Magic Cleaning talks about the words "lazy" and "motivation" [SLYT 20 min], while also dealing with the burnout of producing internet content and moderating comments: In that video I explained what depression was how it can lead to a house looking like this, and explained that the occupants of the house had gone through extensive periods of depression. There were two overwhelming comments on that that I have deleted by the literal thousands: "You can be poor but still be clean" even though they're literally watching a cleaning channel that's called Midwest Magic Cleaning. [...] The other one was [...] saying things like "Yeah they're poor but they still have a fancy PC, two video game consoles, a big flat screen TV, a name brand fancy couch." They're literally making up stories because I bought 100% of that as gifts for Christmas [or] handed down when I upgraded my own...
I've never understood what the big deal was. After completely ignoring the problem for literally four years I fixed my guest room. (before and after)
All it took was multiple weekends in a row of sweaty, hard work, throwing my back out (1.5 weekends lost), purchasing multiple items of furniture, texting friends about it throughout to keep myself accountable, two car trips to take items to donate, an impending external deadline, and a complete lack of mental health issues! Ha ha easy!
posted by phunniemee at 3:25 PM on July 19 [78 favorites]
All it took was multiple weekends in a row of sweaty, hard work, throwing my back out (1.5 weekends lost), purchasing multiple items of furniture, texting friends about it throughout to keep myself accountable, two car trips to take items to donate, an impending external deadline, and a complete lack of mental health issues! Ha ha easy!
posted by phunniemee at 3:25 PM on July 19 [78 favorites]
Also thank you for the link to add a channel to my list. Because of my let's say personal baggage around housework, this is some of my favorite type of content. Everyone needs help with something, some people need help with cleaning. When people who are good at understanding housework care for the people who aren't in this way it hits me in a real good spot. It's such a quality of life thing.
I've been a fan of the Hoarders TV show for YEARS and still it's only very recently (did it coincide with me finally fixing my guest room? therapists assemble) clicked for me that I didn't just grow up in a cluttered home, but I grew up in a house with a parent who was in open addiction to STUFF. Just because we didn't have poop on the floor doesn't mean that getting screamed at for throwing away a cracked 12 year old empty cool whip container is normal. Doesn't mean I didn't come away from that with some damage. I'm good at almost everything I try, but I still can't figure out how not to pile 2 feet of random shit on any horizontal surface???
Anyway it's been a weird summer. I'm maintaining.
Time to go watch this guy be a part of the solution.
posted by phunniemee at 3:37 PM on July 19 [34 favorites]
I've been a fan of the Hoarders TV show for YEARS and still it's only very recently (did it coincide with me finally fixing my guest room? therapists assemble) clicked for me that I didn't just grow up in a cluttered home, but I grew up in a house with a parent who was in open addiction to STUFF. Just because we didn't have poop on the floor doesn't mean that getting screamed at for throwing away a cracked 12 year old empty cool whip container is normal. Doesn't mean I didn't come away from that with some damage. I'm good at almost everything I try, but I still can't figure out how not to pile 2 feet of random shit on any horizontal surface???
Anyway it's been a weird summer. I'm maintaining.
Time to go watch this guy be a part of the solution.
posted by phunniemee at 3:37 PM on July 19 [34 favorites]
And sure why not just go ahead and dominate the thread at this point.
IF YOU are someone who is VERY GOOD at understanding normal housework schedules and expectations but you are VERY BAD at personal budgeting/debt/saving strategies, memail me and we can get in on some kind of accountability share. I got lucky to get the real good at money brain.
posted by phunniemee at 3:45 PM on July 19 [19 favorites]
IF YOU are someone who is VERY GOOD at understanding normal housework schedules and expectations but you are VERY BAD at personal budgeting/debt/saving strategies, memail me and we can get in on some kind of accountability share. I got lucky to get the real good at money brain.
posted by phunniemee at 3:45 PM on July 19 [19 favorites]
Glad to see this guy getting due attention here, because his channel really is amazing.
I couldn’t get into the old Hoarders reality franchise way back when, for fear of the point-and-laugh element that seemed to be so essential to the reality TV formula.
This channel, and several of its cohort, are the opposite of point-and-laugh. There’s so much compassion woven into the work they do, so much acknowledgment that any of us could find ourselves in a similar situation.
As someone with lifelong ADHD, I’ve also learned a lot of strategies for maintaining my own space better.
This dude gets it.
posted by armeowda at 3:46 PM on July 19 [7 favorites]
I couldn’t get into the old Hoarders reality franchise way back when, for fear of the point-and-laugh element that seemed to be so essential to the reality TV formula.
This channel, and several of its cohort, are the opposite of point-and-laugh. There’s so much compassion woven into the work they do, so much acknowledgment that any of us could find ourselves in a similar situation.
As someone with lifelong ADHD, I’ve also learned a lot of strategies for maintaining my own space better.
This dude gets it.
posted by armeowda at 3:46 PM on July 19 [7 favorites]
(Oh, and if you’re looking for the coastal/urban counterpart, check out Clean With Barbie. She’s also excellent, and yup - they’re friends!)
posted by armeowda at 3:49 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]
posted by armeowda at 3:49 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]
I follow this channel! I came for the house cleanups and stayed for the insight into mental health issues that lead to the kinds of situations that are cleaned up on the channel. I think that most of the indie cleaning channels are pretty good about this, and most of the commenters are nice -- but of course there's always someone who is so attached to their uninformed opinions that nothing gets through to them.
I don't think that I'm at risk of developing this level of problem right now, but I certainly have a tendency to 1) hold onto certain things, because of course I'm going to use them, and 2) not tidy up messy areas for extended periods of time. Who knows what might happen in future to derail my ability to keep my space habitable? Whenever I watch stuff like this I go to throw something away or tidy something up.
posted by confluency at 3:51 PM on July 19 [5 favorites]
I don't think that I'm at risk of developing this level of problem right now, but I certainly have a tendency to 1) hold onto certain things, because of course I'm going to use them, and 2) not tidy up messy areas for extended periods of time. Who knows what might happen in future to derail my ability to keep my space habitable? Whenever I watch stuff like this I go to throw something away or tidy something up.
posted by confluency at 3:51 PM on July 19 [5 favorites]
What the heck is dust and where does it come from?
posted by Czjewel at 3:54 PM on July 19 [1 favorite]
posted by Czjewel at 3:54 PM on July 19 [1 favorite]
You, baby.
posted by phunniemee at 3:58 PM on July 19 [27 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 3:58 PM on July 19 [27 favorites]
One of the comments on this video was genius:
"They say, when you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced. That’s why those with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self importance."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:00 PM on July 19 [87 favorites]
"They say, when you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced. That’s why those with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self importance."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:00 PM on July 19 [87 favorites]
I should get a rumba. If nothing else, I can watch the cat ride around on it.
posted by Czjewel at 4:12 PM on July 19 [5 favorites]
posted by Czjewel at 4:12 PM on July 19 [5 favorites]
Thanks for posting, this was heart wrenching but ultimately really good to listen, it makes it helpfully clear to me internally which voices to listen to and which to wave away.
phunniemee, congratulations--that is hard work and it looks good! I'm fixing up a guest room too, and the amount of associated tasks just ripple out from "move the guest bed" to become exactly what you describe.
posted by winesong at 4:21 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]
phunniemee, congratulations--that is hard work and it looks good! I'm fixing up a guest room too, and the amount of associated tasks just ripple out from "move the guest bed" to become exactly what you describe.
posted by winesong at 4:21 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]
One thing I love in particular about Midwest magic cleaning is that he doesn't include the people. It's just the house, just the mess, with the people's identities kept private, their dignity preserved.
Another thing I love about this channel are all the spin-kicking of errant moose.
posted by meese at 4:55 PM on July 19 [12 favorites]
Another thing I love about this channel are all the spin-kicking of errant moose.
posted by meese at 4:55 PM on July 19 [12 favorites]
I watched a few of his videos recently when The Algorithm happened to decide I should see them and I very much appreciated how he tells people to fuck off with their judgement and even has noted in the past how some people just weren't taught how to clean or organize. Like sure, the overall mechanic of the thing is pretty obvious, but the details aren't necessarily obvious and if you do it "wrong" you're either making more work for yourself, just pushing dirt around pointlessly, or both.
It just seems way less gross than shows like Hoarders or many of the other YouTube channels where people clean stuff.
posted by wierdo at 6:23 PM on July 19 [4 favorites]
It just seems way less gross than shows like Hoarders or many of the other YouTube channels where people clean stuff.
posted by wierdo at 6:23 PM on July 19 [4 favorites]
I have been that guy who had to call a cleaning service.
Twice.
It. Is. Humiliating.
Both times, they came in, they did the job, they left. No commentary.
I was supposed to be a relatively well-paid programmer, but instead I was a mental train wreck sitting in my trashed out apartment, day after day after day after day ...
I used to see people with trash-filled cars and think "Wow, that person needs help." Then I became the person who needed help and I feel so much worse for them, because I know exactly what it's like.
And there's nothing I can say to them because there's nothing anyone could have said to me. I just had to bottom out and then, and only then, could I accept help healing my mental illness.
And I did get better. But I was a horrible mess for a while.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 7:12 PM on July 19 [39 favorites]
Twice.
It. Is. Humiliating.
Both times, they came in, they did the job, they left. No commentary.
I was supposed to be a relatively well-paid programmer, but instead I was a mental train wreck sitting in my trashed out apartment, day after day after day after day ...
I used to see people with trash-filled cars and think "Wow, that person needs help." Then I became the person who needed help and I feel so much worse for them, because I know exactly what it's like.
And there's nothing I can say to them because there's nothing anyone could have said to me. I just had to bottom out and then, and only then, could I accept help healing my mental illness.
And I did get better. But I was a horrible mess for a while.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 7:12 PM on July 19 [39 favorites]
Thank you for this. I've been thinking about my reaction to the Get Tough contingent in another discussion. They spook me because I don't know how to talk to them and this view from the outside helps me.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 7:43 PM on July 19
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 7:43 PM on July 19
N-thing the thanks for sharing this. I feel a helluva lot less alone in some of the stuff I've dealt with in trying to help people.
posted by JoeXIII007 at 8:21 PM on July 19
posted by JoeXIII007 at 8:21 PM on July 19
I love his channel! It came on my feed and I clicked out of curiosity because the houses look - normal, not interior decorated or for the ‘gram, just regular houses. And he is so thoughtful about the impact of mental health.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 11:37 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 11:37 PM on July 19 [2 favorites]
People will use the word "lazy" for the most ridiculous reasons.
I need a power wheelchair to get around, because while I can walk/stand up, I can't walk very far or stand up for very long (often, standing up for long enough to brush my teeth or wash my hands is a struggle.)
One time, back before COVID, I stood up out of my power wheelchair in public to get a jacket out of the bag on the back of my powerwheelchair and put the jacket on,
and a man loudly pointed to me and scoffed to his wife "Just fucking LAZY"
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:14 AM on July 20 [23 favorites]
I need a power wheelchair to get around, because while I can walk/stand up, I can't walk very far or stand up for very long (often, standing up for long enough to brush my teeth or wash my hands is a struggle.)
One time, back before COVID, I stood up out of my power wheelchair in public to get a jacket out of the bag on the back of my powerwheelchair and put the jacket on,
and a man loudly pointed to me and scoffed to his wife "Just fucking LAZY"
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:14 AM on July 20 [23 favorites]
Laziness is underrated. I aspire to the kind that saves work for everybody.
posted by flabdablet at 11:24 AM on July 20 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 11:24 AM on July 20 [2 favorites]
Another thing I love about this channel are all the spin-kicking of errant moose.
posted by meese at 4:55 PM on July 19
Eponysterical?
posted by obliterati at 11:43 AM on July 20 [2 favorites]
posted by meese at 4:55 PM on July 19
Eponysterical?
posted by obliterati at 11:43 AM on July 20 [2 favorites]
A sincere question: I started this video and immediately felt put off by the Turkish/American joke at the beginning. Is that sort of thing common for these videos? Is there similar "humour" in the rest of the video?
posted by Pitachu at 4:58 PM on July 20
posted by Pitachu at 4:58 PM on July 20
Pitachu, I also did a double-take about that joke. I've now watched a few of these, he always "introduces" himself in some way that involves not giving his real name. (The channel's page has auto-playing audio with a whole string of these.) In what I've watched, the jokes tended towards the absurd (i.e., errant moose), and not ethnic humor.
posted by mersen at 5:24 PM on July 20
posted by mersen at 5:24 PM on July 20
I watched this and a few of his other videos, and really appreciate the recommendation! I don't have the same ratio of stuff-to-space as a 'hoarder' home, but have some of the same types of stuff issues. The unfinished projects, the things that should have been processed or used or thrown out long ago... And overall, slightly too much to keep up with.
The speed-clean style video is nice for putting on in the background while working on a project. And my cat thinks it is Cat TV.
posted by mersen at 5:43 PM on July 20 [1 favorite]
The speed-clean style video is nice for putting on in the background while working on a project. And my cat thinks it is Cat TV.
posted by mersen at 5:43 PM on July 20 [1 favorite]
Thank you for sharing this. We watched a few of his videos last night. Really liked them.
posted by Zumbador at 9:41 PM on July 20
posted by Zumbador at 9:41 PM on July 20
Mod note: [Thank you, AlSweigart! This post has been added to the sidebar and Best Of blog!]
posted by taz (staff) at 2:26 AM on July 21 [1 favorite]
posted by taz (staff) at 2:26 AM on July 21 [1 favorite]
I've never understood what the big deal was. After completely ignoring the problem for literally four years I fixed my guest room. (before and after)
oh my god, I JUST sat down for a break in the process of working on my office/guest room and saw this perfectly timely comment. I moved about a month ago and just this Friday hit my breaking point re: working with a wall of chaos behind me.
It takes SO MUCH. And yes, the donation process for extra stuff is a huge barrier as well -- I want to be responsible about this stuff but I also want it motherfucking gone, gone from my home, gone from my sight and so some of this shit is goin in the alley.
In general I am a clean and tidy person but I am well aware that half of that battle is 1) having enough space for things and 2) having enough energy for it. Now that I have both downsized slightly and combined households the uphill-ness of cleaning is much steeper. Probably going to have this channel on in the background a fair bit going forward.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:44 PM on July 21 [1 favorite]
oh my god, I JUST sat down for a break in the process of working on my office/guest room and saw this perfectly timely comment. I moved about a month ago and just this Friday hit my breaking point re: working with a wall of chaos behind me.
It takes SO MUCH. And yes, the donation process for extra stuff is a huge barrier as well -- I want to be responsible about this stuff but I also want it motherfucking gone, gone from my home, gone from my sight and so some of this shit is goin in the alley.
In general I am a clean and tidy person but I am well aware that half of that battle is 1) having enough space for things and 2) having enough energy for it. Now that I have both downsized slightly and combined households the uphill-ness of cleaning is much steeper. Probably going to have this channel on in the background a fair bit going forward.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:44 PM on July 21 [1 favorite]
Someone else here with a perennial hoarding/cleaning-avoiding problem. A few months ago, I was given a very short deadline--as in about 10 days--to get rid of a lot of stuff in my apartment and put the rest into some sort of order or I'd be kicked out. I have a lot of problems with how it was done (like the vagueness of it), but I did get rid of a lot of extraneous stuff and the simple removal of a lot of clutter makes dealing with what's left a lot easier. But I still need to persist in attending to what's left because I know how quickly and catastrophically it can snowball. (Plus, I did in fact stash some in a storage unit--yes, I know--and have some difficult decisions/work in letting that stuff go, as much as possible.) I think that this will help; the video in the FPP, with its combination of insistence on the importance of compassion and the visual of the removal of the clutter (all those beer cases! That brought back some unpleasant memories, I tell you what) sure stirred up something.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:47 PM on July 23 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:47 PM on July 23 [1 favorite]
I was going to post an AskMe about this but I'll also share in this thread... my dear friend who is like a sister to me has turned into ... well, a hoarder, but possibly the most organized and tidy hoarder ever, because all of her stuff is in small labeled boxes inside of other larger labeled boxes, and she knows exactly where everything is, and it is all stored and catalogued perfectly.
For the longest time I was in denial about her issues, I think, but after my recent visit to her place (my first visit over the past year) when I couldn't even find a spot to put my bag down that wasn't a box, and noticed how most of the rooms are filled with boxes to the extent that there isn't even a path or a patch of floor to be seen, I have to DO SOMETHING about it... except she doesn't see it as a problem at all. She thinks she's absolutely fine. I fear I may have contributed to her sense of how fine she is by constantly being in awe of her organizational skills. I have ADHD myself and I seem to have the opposite problem as her, in that I can't find what I do own, even though I don't own much. I literally don't have a drawer in my house that *isn't* a junk drawer, you know? I constantly ooh and aah over her labeled boxes and perfect storage and archiving techniques, and express admiration for her that she owns *everything*! and knows where everything is! Maybe that's made things worse for her, idk.
Sigh, I'll work up to posting my AskMe and see what I should do to help her out. She cannot be living like that. I feel so heartbroken for her. And I don't even know if that's projection because she seems perfectly happy (but I am beginning to suspect it is a front).
posted by MiraK at 11:12 AM on July 24
For the longest time I was in denial about her issues, I think, but after my recent visit to her place (my first visit over the past year) when I couldn't even find a spot to put my bag down that wasn't a box, and noticed how most of the rooms are filled with boxes to the extent that there isn't even a path or a patch of floor to be seen, I have to DO SOMETHING about it... except she doesn't see it as a problem at all. She thinks she's absolutely fine. I fear I may have contributed to her sense of how fine she is by constantly being in awe of her organizational skills. I have ADHD myself and I seem to have the opposite problem as her, in that I can't find what I do own, even though I don't own much. I literally don't have a drawer in my house that *isn't* a junk drawer, you know? I constantly ooh and aah over her labeled boxes and perfect storage and archiving techniques, and express admiration for her that she owns *everything*! and knows where everything is! Maybe that's made things worse for her, idk.
Sigh, I'll work up to posting my AskMe and see what I should do to help her out. She cannot be living like that. I feel so heartbroken for her. And I don't even know if that's projection because she seems perfectly happy (but I am beginning to suspect it is a front).
posted by MiraK at 11:12 AM on July 24
She cannot be living like that.
She can, though, clearly.
If she (and EMTs, fire-fighters, yadda) can get in and out of the place easily and quickly; if her refrigerator, stove, laundry facilities, HVAC, and plumbing all work and she can get them repaired immediately if they stop working; if she can use her main living areas in ways that work for her (iow, she can sleep in her bed, eat at her dining room table, cook in her kitchen); if the air quality is good--dust is curtailed, there's no mold; if it's clean and comfortable for her and she isn't ashamed to have friends come over; and if she is happy with the state of things, then it is okay.
If the rooms that are too packed to get into and out of include the kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom so that she can't use the house for the major things one uses a house for; if the accumulation is so heavy it's threatening the structural integrity of the house; if piles are unstable and could fall on her; if you notice a deterioration--things that were once clean and perfectly organized are getting dusty/grimy/dangerously precariously stacked, then you might want to say something.
The main thing that's keeping her safe right now is that she doesn't see it as something to be ashamed of. She's not trying to keep you out of there. Definitely proceed with great caution, because if she starts to feel embarrassed and like it is something to hide to the point where she stops letting people in, that's when it gets dangerous.
posted by Don Pepino at 12:59 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]
She can, though, clearly.
If she (and EMTs, fire-fighters, yadda) can get in and out of the place easily and quickly; if her refrigerator, stove, laundry facilities, HVAC, and plumbing all work and she can get them repaired immediately if they stop working; if she can use her main living areas in ways that work for her (iow, she can sleep in her bed, eat at her dining room table, cook in her kitchen); if the air quality is good--dust is curtailed, there's no mold; if it's clean and comfortable for her and she isn't ashamed to have friends come over; and if she is happy with the state of things, then it is okay.
If the rooms that are too packed to get into and out of include the kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom so that she can't use the house for the major things one uses a house for; if the accumulation is so heavy it's threatening the structural integrity of the house; if piles are unstable and could fall on her; if you notice a deterioration--things that were once clean and perfectly organized are getting dusty/grimy/dangerously precariously stacked, then you might want to say something.
The main thing that's keeping her safe right now is that she doesn't see it as something to be ashamed of. She's not trying to keep you out of there. Definitely proceed with great caution, because if she starts to feel embarrassed and like it is something to hide to the point where she stops letting people in, that's when it gets dangerous.
posted by Don Pepino at 12:59 PM on July 24 [1 favorite]
As a person who has ADHD & chronic depression and a lot of terrible feelings about my difficulties with housekeeping, thank you.
posted by Eideteker at 12:57 PM on August 2
posted by Eideteker at 12:57 PM on August 2
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posted by The demon that lives in the air at 3:11 PM on July 19 [58 favorites]