The Thin Purple Line

August 20, 2024 7:07 AM

Corporate security work has long elevated routine business worries—like shoplifting, loitering, and homelessness—into urgent criminal problems. (slHarpers)
posted by Kitteh (44 comments total)

Thanks for posting. This article is worth its length, and does paint a good description of the private security guard aspect of modern security theater. I was going to copy/paste some of the highlight lines here, but there are too many of them.
posted by AlSweigart at 7:32 AM on August 20

Well, I feel safer already.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 7:44 AM on August 20 [2 favorites]

At first, purple seemed like a weird choice, but then I learned that, in addition to the blue (police) and red (firefighters) lines, there are also lines in orange (search and rescue), yellow (tow truck drivers), gold (911 operators), green (federal agents), gray (corrections workers), and pink (women in emergency services and/or breast cancer survivors).

They just need a couple more colors to get one of these.
posted by box at 7:47 AM on August 20 [10 favorites]

Don't forget the Thin Bread Crust.
posted by gc at 8:16 AM on August 20 [19 favorites]

This is well worth the read.

This may be apocryphal but I taught my guards if they get lost, look for a mom with kids rather than a security guard…if I remember right it was due to a Gavin de Becker book where he pointed out a) kids will find kids more easily and b) statistically security guards are more likely than average (although still low) to be a stranger danger risk. That made me think for sure.

One of my former martial arts chief instructors had been a security guard in a downtown hospital, which sounds like absolutely brutal work. He had several human bite scars, among other nasty injuries. He was a really great guy, calm and gentle, and had developed serious de-escalation skills. I am guessing it took years for him to get there though. He described his former job as being a human punching bag.

It’s not easy being the people the nurses call. It seems like quite a contrast to this corporate world.
posted by warriorqueen at 8:28 AM on August 20 [23 favorites]

In Toronto, I lived in a relatively bare bones condo building. We had security guards hired by the board, rather than concierges who provided services, because hiring security guards and then making them hand out packages was cheaper than hiring someone with the title concierge, even if you hired the concierge from the same security company that supplied the security guards.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:37 AM on August 20 [5 favorites]

Thin sequin line: drag queens
Thin glitter line: art teachers
Thin velvet line: vampires
Thin linen line: regatta attendees
Thin brocade line: upholsterers
Thin fringe line: showgirls, but also rodeo clowns
Thin silk line: luxurious nappers
Thin flannel line: warm nappers
Thin denim line: not available over a size 8 (US)
posted by thivaia at 9:46 AM on August 20 [41 favorites]

Tangentially-related:
- A recent 'Behind the Bastards' piece on Louis van Schoor, the deadliest security guard in history.
- The 'Flash mob' panic of organised theft that made news recently was fake.
- NWH - Fuck the Security Guards. (CW - NWH)
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 10:12 AM on August 20 [7 favorites]

A thin line of a colour out of space—a frightful messenger from unformed realms of infinity beyond all Nature as we know it; from realms whose mere existence stuns the brain and numbs us with the black extra-cosmic gulfs it throws open before our frenzied eyes: Cthulhu
posted by paper chromatographologist at 10:13 AM on August 20 [17 favorites]

The author alludes to some of the history of private/nongovernmental security in the US, but it is always worth remembering that they originated to a large extent in suppressing unhappy laborers. First slaves, then union members; especially the Pinkertons.

Rodriguez breezed through the day-to-day material covering when to use a fire extinguisher …
That is probably the sort of thing that security guards could most often do to save lives. Fires kill a lot of people but don’t always get the publicity that mass shootings do.
posted by TedW at 10:15 AM on August 20 [11 favorites]

I was going to copy/paste some of the highlight lines here, but there are too many of them.

I did a few....

Allied’s business model relies on keeping labor costs low and deploying warm bodies as quickly as possible.
It was a mundane but highly visible post, and management frequently gave me feedback. They told me to smile, to stand straight, to uncross my arms, to take my hands out of my pockets, and to say “good evening” more often. I felt objectified by the bank, like I was its human scarecrow,

Sounds like every service job ever. (a) throw warm bodies at the problem, and (b) nitpick every damn thing about how you act, say, do, smile.

The guy next to me didn’t look like much of a meth head, but he came up positive for crank. The supervisor brushed it aside. This kind of laissez-faire attitude surfaced in Time’s report when a guard trainer recalled flagging a candidate at another company who appeared to be suffering from severe mental-health issues. “I said I wasn’t going to be able to qualify this guy,” he said, “but they just shrugged.”

That sounds like military recruitment, at least in the "hard to find someone" category.

He went on to explain that, should he ever be attacked, his tie would pose no threat to him. Mine, on the other hand, could be weaponized into a silk noose.

OY.

We have security guards at my new job. They stand around at the doors and don't seem to have anything else to do but stare at us to make sure we swipe in each badge individually even if the door is already open, and are wearing one and they are right on top of maintaining that. They seem like nice people, but I don't know how they stand just standing around bored for hours. They get to change locations every hour, but that's about it.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:33 AM on August 20 [3 favorites]

Carceral state doing capital’s dirty work for them? Color me shocked.
posted by supercres at 10:40 AM on August 20 [6 favorites]

> We were not guardians against fear but expressions of it ...

Best quote from the whole thing.

As a Toronto type, I'm rather delighted that the "thin line" flag for tow truck drivers is yellow. If any industry deserves a thin streak of piss, it's the tow trucks here
posted by scruss at 10:40 AM on August 20 [5 favorites]

Or more accurately, i suppose, capital incorporating the worst tendencies of the carceral state
posted by supercres at 10:41 AM on August 20 [3 favorites]

A thin line of a colour out of space—a frightful messenger from unformed realms of infinity beyond all Nature as we know it; from realms whose mere existence stuns the brain and numbs us with the black extra-cosmic gulfs it throws open before our frenzied eyes: Cthulhu

The thin dread line
posted by chavenet at 10:49 AM on August 20 [17 favorites]

One place I worked had both male and female security, and almost all the male guards were little, smiling, middle-aged Asian men. It was well known that Terry Pratchett's Rule One applied here.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 11:05 AM on August 20 [3 favorites]

This may be apocryphal but I taught my guards if they get lost, look for a mom with kids rather than a security guard

I assume you meant to say "kids" but I really hope this is not a typo.
posted by smelendez at 11:29 AM on August 20 [25 favorites]

- The 'Flash mob' panic of organised theft that made news recently was fake.

The If Books Could Kill podcast episode on the retail theft moral panic is the main reason for the National Retail Federation retracting its "study" which is the one source most journalists cited. TL;DR: Don't trust industry groups to give you information on the industry.
posted by AlSweigart at 11:39 AM on August 20 [17 favorites]

Metafilter: showgirls, but also rodeo clowns
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:44 AM on August 20 [15 favorites]

I assume you meant to say "kids" but I really hope this is not a typo.

I did mean kids. Sorry to disappoint! I do have a story of someone trying to steal some Sai (pointy metal weapons) at a community festival demonstration and tripping over a six year old who was swinging nunchucks around if that helps any.
posted by warriorqueen at 11:50 AM on August 20 [15 favorites]

Thin denim line: not available over a size 8 (US)

How are security guards taking the thin purple line from Prince? They can have burnt sienna.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:20 PM on August 20 [9 favorites]

"depicted a Revolutionary War soldier running into battle, and his email signature included quotes on patriotism and courage by Mark Twain and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, respectively."

"76 TROMBONES IN THE BIG PARADE!"
posted by clavdivs at 1:30 PM on August 20 [3 favorites]

Private Security is one of the world s largest armies.
G4S

And Security Guards are wild

New Orleans v Pinnacle Security

Also, crime is down in New Orleans, but it s thanks to our Mayor and DA. The white Governor and others are trying to take credit...
posted by eustatic at 1:32 PM on August 20 [6 favorites]

I wonder if there's any career more schizophrenic than tow truck drivers.... 'I hate that I need you but I'm glad you're here' vs... 'I absolutely didn't need you, and you made my life worse, scum sucking capitalism waffen bastards '
posted by Jacen at 2:30 PM on August 20 [4 favorites]

Well I, for one, am relieved that this post turned out to not be about hidden examples of copaganda within the Harold and the Purple Crayon book series.
posted by neuracnu at 2:45 PM on August 20 [8 favorites]

All Crayons Are Bastards
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:29 PM on August 20 [12 favorites]

> We were not guardians against fear but expressions of it ...
Best quote from the whole thing.
This sums up my annoyance at the increasing prevalence of security staff in places where there was no threat until they turned up. I'm slightly mollified by the fact that, here in Australia, there are actual training and certification standards for security officers (ie unarmed) and even more so for security guards (armed, but only permitted in narrow circumstances) so at least the security officers have been trained in skills like de-escalation and, if that fails, safely restraining someone. I do see the slow migration towards military-looking apparel, but most places that employ security officers do so more as door monitors than actual guards, so the norm is black polos carrying the employer logo over cargo pants and black boots.

But, back to the point, The ever-increasing presence of security officers does little or nothing to treat any actual threats that may or may not exist (they don't), but creates an atmosphere of danger that taints the air around them. Worse, it makes people increasingly nervous because why would all these corporations hire guards unless there was something to fear?

It amuses me slightly that a whole group of occupations where you would find a higher-than-average proportion of various anti-diversity views collectively represent themselves as a pride flag (more or less).
posted by dg at 4:08 PM on August 20 [3 favorites]

“ At first, purple seemed like a weird choice, but then I learned that, in addition to the blue (police) and red (firefighters) lines, there are also lines in orange (search and rescue), yellow (tow truck drivers), gold (911 operators), green (federal agents), gray (corrections workers), and pink (women in emergency services and/or breast cancer survivors).”


I used to work in mental health mobile crisis, and given that exhaustive list am thinking we ought to be the thin beige line.
posted by cybrcamper at 4:57 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]

All Crayons Are Bastards

structurally, systematically, and irrespective of our personal characteristics.
posted by busted_crayons at 4:59 PM on August 20 [12 favorites]

(In Australia) there was a push to get more security into hospitals and other workplaces, when a Melbourne heart surgeon was killed at the Box Hill hospital and the hospital subsequently sued for not providing a safe work environment. The number of lower stakes but still violent incidents at work is astounding, they even had a disturbing but true to life WorkSafe ad playing on TV for awhile.

Personally I think we need more armed guards at high risk workplaces and a zero tolerance for violence, the staff should be empowered to turf people out if they are unruly but they need muscle and weapons to do it safely.
posted by xdvesper at 5:05 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]

How are security guards taking the thin purple line from Prince?

maybe thin? no one is taking purple from Prince
posted by HearHere at 5:10 PM on August 20 [1 favorite]

This piece dovetails neatly with my own experience with security guards, both at places that I've worked and who I've known personally. My first professional library job had a security guard who was more than a little vigilant, and once took a billy club (that I'm pretty sure was not officially issued) and went out in search of people who had tried to break into his car. His replacement found out that the library's only computer (this was the early 90s) had Freecell on it and rarely looked up from it after that. My next library had a security staff that was... I don't know if I could put this charitably... probably the less-qualified employees of that firm locally. They'd look blankly at the receding backs of people who set off the library's anti-theft alarm on the way out.

My current employer's security staff are mostly OK, although it's not uncommon to find out on random mornings that they've failed to unlock the door that I usually use. My personal acquaintances in security are limited to a relative who is probably not employable in any other field at this point, due to regrettable life and career choices, and an acquaintance who is not even (AFAIK, we've fallen out of touch) employable in security any more; despite having worked for some of the better employers in my geographic area--including my current one--he seemed unable to not be obnoxious to either his employers' clients/visitors or to his fellow employees.

Would I do it? Well, despite the many problems listed in the article, I might if I had to. It seems that my age, my background (two DUIs), and my physical condition wouldn't necessarily be a barrier; I'm actually in much better physical shape than the relative and acquaintance mentioned above. I wouldn't mind a job that involved some walking. I don't think that I'd want to work at either a library or a hospital, though, knowing the shenanigans that people get up to at both. I could do a bank building, like the author, as long as I could wear suitable shoes.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:45 PM on August 20 [2 favorites]

My job is being/managing security at a museum and the biggest thing I tell my staff is "you're there to be a visual deterrent to bad behavior" and "if shit gets bad tell the offender that if they don't leave you're calling the cops"

That's it. Don't touch anyone, you're not there to risk your life, a valuable artwork isn't worth your life, it's insured. The only other thing I really emphasize is that I want you to ask anyone who is abusive to staff or other guards to leave.
posted by Ferreous at 7:37 PM on August 20 [10 favorites]

Security guards are mostly people who couldn't even hack it as cops or prison guards, for whatever reason. All the abusiveness, even less competence and stability. ACAB includes rent-a-cops.
posted by adrienneleigh at 8:22 PM on August 20 [1 favorite]

While there have certainly been a lot of security guards who behaved appallingly, the shopping centre security guards who put their lives on the line at the Bondi Junction stabbings helped save lives.

Faraz Ahmed Tahir, 30 years old, an unarmed security guard at the shopping centre and a refugee from Pakistan, died trying to keep members of the public safe from another member of the public who was stabbing random people.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:56 PM on August 20 [9 favorites]

chariot pulled by cassowaries: I should have been clearer. I can't actually speak to the standards for security guards in countries besides the US and Canada. In those two countries, ACAB includes rent-a-cops, but it's possible that Australian rent-a-cops are not shitbags.
posted by adrienneleigh at 10:13 PM on August 20

In those two countries, ACAB includes rent-a-cops, but it's possible that Australian rent-a-cops are not shitbags

Private security guards in Australia are a mixed bag:

on the one hand, you have the two security guards at Bondi Junction, one of whom was killed protecting the public, and the other of whom received life-threatening injuries protecting the public;

on the other hand, you have the private security guards who were illegally "moving on" homeless Aboriginal teenagers and elderly Aboriginal people from public space at night in the Northern Territory, sometimes with significant violence - and the Police proper issued a statement that the private security guards were breaking the law and did not have the right to "move on" people from public space, much less with violence.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:48 AM on August 21 [5 favorites]

Northern Territory private security guards unlawfully moving on sleeping homeless people in Darwin.

Four Corners aired footage of NT government-contracted guards in Darwin involved in violent altercations, including a woman being punched and an elderly woman being dragged on the ground.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 12:52 AM on August 21 [3 favorites]

Security guards are mostly people who couldn't even hack it as cops or prison guards, for whatever reason.

I think this demographic exists in security, but I don't think it is the majority of actual security guards unless things in America are very different than here. Other than in government buildings, most the security guards see are recent immigrants and I suspect they are doing a job they can get even without "Canadian experience" for a paycheque they need, not Paul Blart Mall Cop types.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:30 AM on August 21 [5 favorites]

40 comments and none by an actual working security guard (supervisor of guards doesn't really count). My experience working as a private guard is very obsolete but I have some observations.

> Security guards are mostly people who couldn't even hack it as cops or prison guards, for whatever reason.

This demographic does exist but they are a small minority. Being a guard is something you can do without even a HS diploma, and the main personal qualities needed to succeed are being able to show up on time, in a clean uniform, not (visibly) drunk. College students and immigrants are a big chunk of the population.

The security guard industry is almost entirely theater. When I worked as a guard I didn't get any training at all. Which is not surprising, when you consider that my job was basically to be a scarecrow. That was when I was actually guarding something, like the tool trailer at a construction site. Most of the time a guard is not even that: you're more like a picture of a scarecrow.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 6:32 AM on August 21 [4 favorites]

100% Aardvark. Security guard is too broad of a brush to ACAB us. Yes, there's a distinct difference between some guy, possibly working his second job patrolling a empty office and rent a cop. And even that's different than rent a thug. A lot of us genuinely want to be helpful. It's true that a significant portion of us aren't great with people. I wish there was no ACAB anywhere, and I've certainly worked with some. But the majority of people were just people. Not.... Always hyper successful people, but it's a job that can attract neurodivergent folks easily
posted by Jacen at 6:55 AM on August 21 [2 favorites]

I don't mind a security guard. I mind the type of security guard who's basically doing a Danny McBride imitation and thinks, "I should have been a SEAL." It's a fragile white man problem.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:03 AM on August 21 [1 favorite]

All Crayons Are Bastards Broken...unless you're a Marine, in which case All Crayons Are Bitten.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:08 PM on August 21 [1 favorite]

My niece was a library security guard in a Wisconsin city. She looks like just a bit of a thing, so I assume she uses persuasion, her radio, and her dry wit to keep order.

What she's really doing is trying to prevent damage & disorder, and to keep unhoused people from simply moving in to live full-time. So no, she's not a wannabe cop or a closet sadist -- just some who needed a job during undergrad.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:14 PM on August 21 [2 favorites]