Deadass Tired of Working
September 4, 2024 6:20 PM   Subscribe

What is Dead Butt Syndrome? NYT: "After a long workday at your desk or hours in a car, it’s normal to feel a little stiff. It may just be that your hip flexors and lower back are tight. But you could also be experiencing a potentially debilitating condition called gluteal amnesia, or dead butt syndrome..."

“'The name sounds silly, but the side effects are serious,” said Jane Konidis, a specialist in physical medicine and rehabilitation at the Mayo Clinic...The gluteus maximus is one of the strongest muscles in the body and biggest shock absorbers. If it’s not working properly, it can cause a domino chain of issues, from hamstring tears and sciatica to shin splints and arthritis in the knees.' Gluteal amnesia happens when the muscles in your rear become so weak from inactivity they seem to forget how to function — meaning they fail or become slow to activate."

...

"The simplest test is to stand on one leg, letting the other dangle. Your glute on the dangling side will feel soft. Now put weight on that leg and squeeze the cheek hard. You should feel a subtle firming of the muscle. If your glute is weak, you may need to squeeze a few times before you feel it fire, Dr. Konidis said."
posted by snuffleupagus (18 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
Malarkey? or Effective Way?
posted by away for regrooving at 6:34 PM on September 4 [19 favorites]


Deadass.
posted by rhiannonstone at 7:31 PM on September 4 [14 favorites]


Another link I considered posting today! Thank you!
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:04 PM on September 4


"Konidis, I bet you fifty bucks you can't get hundreds of Americans to grab their own asses."

"You're on."
posted by Hypatia at 8:26 PM on September 4 [22 favorites]


Is this actually a thing? It sounds quite close to "glute activation" which was a trendy thing in running a couple of years ago but seems to be a myth.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 8:31 PM on September 4 [2 favorites]


butts lol
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:39 PM on September 4 [8 favorites]


If you're unable to flex your butt, it might be dead. Great!
posted by edward_5000 at 8:43 PM on September 4


Yes?
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:44 PM on September 4 [38 favorites]


Huh! I DID actually have to squeeze it a couple times before I felt it fire! Guys I deadass have a dead ass

I uh

I guess Imma be doing more squats. My ass is too young to die
posted by potrzebie at 9:53 PM on September 4 [10 favorites]


" My ass is too young to die." Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
posted by dutchrick at 1:17 AM on September 5 [3 favorites]


Gives a new meaning to doing a "DBS check".
posted by L.P. Hatecraft at 2:06 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]


The end result may very well be anal glaucoma, where you can't see your ass coming into work that day.
posted by DreamerFi at 3:29 AM on September 5 [15 favorites]


archive.org version of the main link if anyone else is getting paywalled.
posted by Dysk at 4:05 AM on September 5


I've been saying my ass is killing me for years!
posted by briank at 5:35 AM on September 5


There is no one else at my office that can see me so I legit just tried testing this out here, as much for eponysterical reasons as anything else.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:08 AM on September 5 [4 favorites]


But you could also be experiencing a potentially debilitating condition called gluteal amnesia

That's the thing. I have this condition. I know who I am. I know all about myself. But since my injury, I can't remember what anyone's butt looks like. Everything fades. Have I told you about Sammy Jankis?
posted by AndrewInDC at 10:27 AM on September 5


Interesting. I get what I call "dead leg", which sounds similar.
posted by Goofyy at 11:04 AM on September 5


In my butt? OK.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:14 PM on September 6


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