A grizzly scheme
November 14, 2024 7:01 PM Subscribe
The footage is shocking. A brown bear — and there hasn’t been one of those in Southern California for more than a century — breaks into a 2010 Rolls Royce Ghost, seemingly using the door handle. Then it lumbers around inside the car, raking the leather seats with its mighty claws.
Except it wasn’t a terrifying beast — it was a person in a bear costume using a kitchen tool designed to shred meat, authorities said. (LATimes, archive)
The unmitigated gall of trying it three times!!! I'm obsessed
posted by potrzebie at 8:00 PM on November 14 [7 favorites]
posted by potrzebie at 8:00 PM on November 14 [7 favorites]
Those are supposed to be claw marks? Git gud, scrubs.
posted by McBearclaw at 8:04 PM on November 14 [4 favorites]
posted by McBearclaw at 8:04 PM on November 14 [4 favorites]
Four people got together and all agreed this was a good idea!
posted by mr_roboto at 8:10 PM on November 14 [14 favorites]
posted by mr_roboto at 8:10 PM on November 14 [14 favorites]
And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
posted by AlSweigart at 8:49 PM on November 14 [17 favorites]
posted by AlSweigart at 8:49 PM on November 14 [17 favorites]
Is the insurance payout even theoretically higher than resale value?
posted by clew at 9:00 PM on November 14
posted by clew at 9:00 PM on November 14
Florida Man, except minus the meth/bath salts.
…which is, of course, why they were caught.
A fully-dedicated, fully-equipped (drugged) Florida Man would not have made their mistake, and so we would all be left wondering about these amazingly dexterous bears.
posted by aramaic at 9:04 PM on November 14 [5 favorites]
…which is, of course, why they were caught.
A fully-dedicated, fully-equipped (drugged) Florida Man would not have made their mistake, and so we would all be left wondering about these amazingly dexterous bears.
posted by aramaic at 9:04 PM on November 14 [5 favorites]
Isn’t this performance art?
posted by Ideefixe at 9:09 PM on November 14 [6 favorites]
posted by Ideefixe at 9:09 PM on November 14 [6 favorites]
Is this the same gang that tried to simultaneously rob five Las Vegas casinos dressed as pantomime horses?
posted by PlusDistance at 9:27 PM on November 14 [2 favorites]
posted by PlusDistance at 9:27 PM on November 14 [2 favorites]
Heh, I saw the story about the fake bears on https://www.abc.net.au/news/justin this morning and bookmarked it to share in case no one else did.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-11-15/insurers-say-bear-that-damaged-luxury-cars-was-person-in-costume/104604522
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:39 PM on November 14 [2 favorites]
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-11-15/insurers-say-bear-that-damaged-luxury-cars-was-person-in-costume/104604522
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:39 PM on November 14 [2 favorites]
Unbearably stupid plan.
posted by vrakatar at 9:40 PM on November 14 [7 favorites]
posted by vrakatar at 9:40 PM on November 14 [7 favorites]
I feel like I remember this subplot from Hannibal.
posted by cortex at 10:15 PM on November 14 [4 favorites]
posted by cortex at 10:15 PM on November 14 [4 favorites]
Bear-faced fraud.
posted by Phanx at 1:18 AM on November 15 [4 favorites]
posted by Phanx at 1:18 AM on November 15 [4 favorites]
I expect they’ll cite the Second Amendment in support of their right to bear arms.
posted by Phanx at 1:19 AM on November 15 [31 favorites]
posted by Phanx at 1:19 AM on November 15 [31 favorites]
Ideefixe: Isn’t this performance art?
I was hoping so. It would throw a curveball in that whole “man or the bear” thing that was making the rounds of Reddit a while back.
posted by dr_dank at 3:54 AM on November 15 [1 favorite]
I was hoping so. It would throw a curveball in that whole “man or the bear” thing that was making the rounds of Reddit a while back.
posted by dr_dank at 3:54 AM on November 15 [1 favorite]
They have a car worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Can't they just sell the car if they need money? See…this is why I'm honest. My brain is too simple to ever conceive of such schemes.
posted by jabah at 4:04 AM on November 15 [6 favorites]
posted by jabah at 4:04 AM on November 15 [6 favorites]
Yeah. I’m with you, jabah. I can’t even comprehend how this is economically viable. Why wouldn’t they just sell the car? Didn’t they dramatically reduce the resale value of their owned assets by roughly the claims amount? How did it take 4 (!!) people to conceive and execute this plan? That means four people splitting the profits.
The only takeaway I can latch onto into these types of stories is that their desperation must be high enough to override the flaws and risks of the plan.
posted by robot_jesus at 4:30 AM on November 15 [2 favorites]
The only takeaway I can latch onto into these types of stories is that their desperation must be high enough to override the flaws and risks of the plan.
posted by robot_jesus at 4:30 AM on November 15 [2 favorites]
This was a plot point of at least one episode of Scooby Do, and at least one episode of Hannibal.
posted by JohnFromGR at 4:33 AM on November 15
posted by JohnFromGR at 4:33 AM on November 15
Dumbest thing I've ever heard ursine.
posted by hal9k at 5:02 AM on November 15 [6 favorites]
posted by hal9k at 5:02 AM on November 15 [6 favorites]
They were going to try the same thing with health insurance fraud, but they backed out because it was too grizzly.
posted by gurple at 8:37 AM on November 15 [4 favorites]
posted by gurple at 8:37 AM on November 15 [4 favorites]
In Florida they would’ve used a shark suit
posted by gottabefunky at 10:27 AM on November 15 [3 favorites]
posted by gottabefunky at 10:27 AM on November 15 [3 favorites]
Okay, if a 600-lb ripped-to-the-gills bear gets into a car and starts bashing around in a feeding frenzy or a panic to get out again, I can see it doing enough damage that you might get the car's replacement value out of the insurance company. But a single dumbass human male laying about with a couple of pork-pulling forks? That's just going to rip up the upholstery, not total the car. Why wouldn't the insurance co be like, "elderly car, 14-year-old leather upholstery, two front seats and back bench seat lightly scarified by a palsied bear with no claws on its back feet... okydoke, $2,000, sorry boutcher troubles!"
posted by Don Pepino at 10:38 AM on November 15 [3 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 10:38 AM on November 15 [3 favorites]
It's probably more like $20,000 in damage, but your point still stands. Always always multiply your "car repair guess" by a significant amount. Lowest shop rate for high end auto upholstery in LA is going to be $200+ per hour, and there are tens of hours of work there. Still dumb, but my experience is the kind of person who makes the kind of money allowing the purchase of those sort of cars is very bright at making money and not much else.
posted by maxwelton at 12:50 PM on November 15
posted by maxwelton at 12:50 PM on November 15
jfc this is the kind of escapade I'd expect at the end of a season involving characters with the names Julian, Rick, and Bubbles
and it'd be Mr. Leahy's car no doubt
posted by ginger.beef at 12:52 PM on November 15 [2 favorites]
and it'd be Mr. Leahy's car no doubt
posted by ginger.beef at 12:52 PM on November 15 [2 favorites]
^Correct. Them or the It's Always Sunny gang.
posted by Don Pepino at 1:09 PM on November 15 [1 favorite]
posted by Don Pepino at 1:09 PM on November 15 [1 favorite]
From the ABC article: The six-pronged Kitchen Mama cooking implements seemed to match the six puncture marks and scratches seen on the damaged upholstery. [...] Bears have five toes.
a journalist got to write "bears have five toes" and i find that delightful
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 1:16 PM on November 15 [7 favorites]
a journalist got to write "bears have five toes" and i find that delightful
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 1:16 PM on November 15 [7 favorites]
that ranks up there with getting to write about the echidna's 4-headed penis (thank you chariot pulled by cassowaries!)
posted by ginger.beef at 1:44 PM on November 15
posted by ginger.beef at 1:44 PM on November 15
They kept the costume?! For more insurance fraud? For Halloween?
posted by b33j at 3:02 PM on November 15 [2 favorites]
posted by b33j at 3:02 PM on November 15 [2 favorites]
My guess would be they have 'a guy' who would fix the upholstery and they would take the insurance check as cash. They got about $50k for each of the vehicles, so that's about 2/3 the value of a 2010 Rolls Royce.
posted by The_Vegetables at 3:14 PM on November 15
posted by The_Vegetables at 3:14 PM on November 15
Mod note: This was not a beary good idea, but we are adding it the sidebar and Best Of blog!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 5:54 PM on November 15 [1 favorite]
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 5:54 PM on November 15 [1 favorite]
LOL
Whose idea was this??!?
As Bugs Bunny used to say...
Phanx, the jury's still out, but you may have won the internet tonight.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:51 PM on November 15
Whose idea was this??!?
As Bugs Bunny used to say...
Phanx, the jury's still out, but you may have won the internet tonight.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:51 PM on November 15
My guess would be they have 'a guy' who would fix the upholstery and they would take the insurance check as cash.
That, or they were using cars with preexisting unreported damage, and then getting all that fixed via the bear insurance method. Buy cheap (relatively) ratted out cars and get insurance to pay the repairs (or just pay you directly, as you say) before flipping it.
posted by Dysk at 12:26 AM on November 16 [2 favorites]
That, or they were using cars with preexisting unreported damage, and then getting all that fixed via the bear insurance method. Buy cheap (relatively) ratted out cars and get insurance to pay the repairs (or just pay you directly, as you say) before flipping it.
posted by Dysk at 12:26 AM on November 16 [2 favorites]
My guess would be they have 'a guy' who would fix the upholstery and they would take the insurance check as cash.
I think it's most likely that the cars had significant mechanical or rust damage that the insurance company wouldn't know about. The plan would be to do enough damage to the interior to write the cars off and claim the full retail value on insurance, having bought them at rock-bottom prices, being effectively already written off but not documented as such. Maybe they thought the 'claws' would do a lot more damage, because replacing a complete interior under insurance (as opposed to shopping around for a wrecked car of the same model and doing it yourself) would be in the order of tens of thousands. I mean, sure, it's not a great plan, but with a better implementation, it just might have succeeded.
posted by dg at 3:08 PM on November 17
I think it's most likely that the cars had significant mechanical or rust damage that the insurance company wouldn't know about. The plan would be to do enough damage to the interior to write the cars off and claim the full retail value on insurance, having bought them at rock-bottom prices, being effectively already written off but not documented as such. Maybe they thought the 'claws' would do a lot more damage, because replacing a complete interior under insurance (as opposed to shopping around for a wrecked car of the same model and doing it yourself) would be in the order of tens of thousands. I mean, sure, it's not a great plan, but with a better implementation, it just might have succeeded.
posted by dg at 3:08 PM on November 17
That, or they were using cars with preexisting unreported damage, and then getting all that fixed via the bear insurance method. Buy cheap (relatively) ratted out cars and get insurance to pay the repairs (or just pay you directly, as you say) before flipping it.
They got insurance on them to begin with, so I have a hard time believing they got them supercheap without their insurance company knowing - for a scheme like that you'd not want to use Rolls Royces. You'd buy supercheap Hondas and make it up in volume.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:08 AM on November 18
They got insurance on them to begin with, so I have a hard time believing they got them supercheap without their insurance company knowing - for a scheme like that you'd not want to use Rolls Royces. You'd buy supercheap Hondas and make it up in volume.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:08 AM on November 18
Do insurance companies do something other than look at the forms you fill in for them where you are?
Besides, given the nature and professionalism of the scam, I'm not sure that doing volume with Civics might be a better idea would sway the perpetrators - it's a lot more effort, for one thing.
posted by Dysk at 8:00 PM on November 18
Besides, given the nature and professionalism of the scam, I'm not sure that doing volume with Civics might be a better idea would sway the perpetrators - it's a lot more effort, for one thing.
posted by Dysk at 8:00 PM on November 18
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posted by dg at 7:33 PM on November 14 [4 favorites]