Inescapable around the world

December 9, 2024 11:44 AM

‘Last Christmas’ was not about flash and musicianship, more framing the vocal sentiment of George Michael’s heartbreak and yearning. It’s a prime example of the HappySad nature of the best pop – sounding jolly and at odds to the mourning of a buggered-up relationship. He’s telling himself the series of lies that often accompany dealing with betrayal – does he want them back? Can he muster a full on ‘fuck you’? There’s more than a touch of obsessive behaviour about it. The “this year to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special”, is utter shade, and yet sung like he’s gently stroking your hair. from Transcendental Cheap Magic: Wham!’s ‘Last Christmas’ At 40 [The Quietus]
posted by chavenet (46 comments total)

Are you trying to get every Mefite to loose whammagedden here? I suppose you labeled the actual link to the song but still without clicking it it’s still in my head!
posted by wheelieman at 11:47 AM on December 9, 2024 [16 favorites]

I know someone who, as a child, thought 'Last Christmas' was a religious song, a modern carol as it were, in which the "someone special" was Jesus.
posted by misteraitch at 11:53 AM on December 9, 2024 [8 favorites]

'Last Christmas' covers (a very incomplete list): Aloe Blacc, Backstreet Boys, Blackpink, Lucy Dacus, Carly Rae Jepsen, Postmodern Jukebox, Taylor Swift, Tinashe
posted by box at 11:57 AM on December 9, 2024 [4 favorites]

I was the first victim of Whamaggedon in our core friend group this year. I made the rookie mistake of turning on the audio to watch a cute cat video--mind you, the person didn't indicate there was music AT ALL in their reel--and before you know it: there it is. "Last Christmas."

Dammit.

Then another friend in the friend group fell this morning, also done in by an Instagram reel.
posted by Kitteh at 12:06 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

I decided that I like the song now after seeing the cartoon about Anubis and the Egyptian afterlife.
posted by indexy at 12:11 PM on December 9, 2024 [5 favorites]

This song brings peals of laughter in our household as my spouse, Comrade Doll, who was born in Romania and speaks English as a third language grew up believing the lyrics were:

This year, to save the frontiers...
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:19 PM on December 9, 2024 [6 favorites]

It's the designated ACCEPTABLE CHRISTMAS TRACK OF THE DECADE 1980-1900, narrowly beating out the Waitress's Christmas Wrapping, which IMO is a more fun song musically, even though it is a bit too long. How about playing both every now and again? No. There can be only one.

Mariah Carey's track All I Want for Christmas is You is the one for the 1990s.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:27 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

Lemme tell ya my Whamageddon story.

It's 2019 and I'm in the karaoke bar alone and sad after trying to recruit my theater friends to show up tonight and failing, and I'm asking my karaoke guy friend why men suck. I decide to do "Last Christmas" and the KJ, who is normally cheery and easygoing and I've never seen him diss anyone's songs, seems a bit...not so into this. I text a friend of mine afterwards that I feel like I must have ruined his Whamageddon or something and now I feel kinda bad. She's basically all, "fuck him, do what you want." And then I found out that he and she had been secretly banging. She's into polyamory, he has a girlfriend who she thought was in the know. Well, she found out he just got engaged. She contacts girlfriend, girlfriend didn't know, girlfriend doesn't care he's been cheating, friend is disgusted.

Friend gets the bright idea to go to karaoke after all, declaring that she will find THE LEAST SEXY OUTFIT IN THE HOUSE to wear over there. This turns out to be an air dancer costume her youngest son had. She's a small woman and can barely fit into it, but she manages it. She sings Lily Allen's "Fuck You," which the KJ dutifully puts on and then he hides outside of the bar.

After Christmas, the KJ moved away and, I'm told, married the girlfriend and gave up on KJ'ing. Karaoke guy friend took over the gig, which he had for a few years before they canned him. Friend is still finding only terrible guys to date. But it's an awesome story and if I ever write "Karaoke Stories: The Play," this incident will probably be in it.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:28 PM on December 9, 2024 [15 favorites]

Two personal opinions:

- Last Christmas is awesome
- PHON.O's 35 min 'Calm down edit' is also awesome and worth a listen, it's been stretched and processed into something ambient
posted by dowcrag at 12:32 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

I get why the author says "bollocks to Whamageddon" but I read Whamageddon as a sign of respect. For one, it acknowledges the juggernaut of "Last Christmas" by limiting its scope to the original version. I don't see it as a penalty for Wham, I think it recognizes the sheer pop power of the song by making the game potentially winnable. And listening to covers makes me appreciate the original that much more the later in the month I last.
posted by EvaDestruction at 12:36 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

I'll see your "happy/sad pop" and raise you.
posted by LarryC at 12:36 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

I can't hear this song without thinking of the risque variation lyrics.
posted by ovvl at 12:40 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

I recently saw a mashup of the instrumentals from "Last Christmas" with the vocals from "Angel of Death" and it was good.
posted by Captaintripps at 12:43 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

Seems like a good place to recommend the Netflix Wham! documentary. It’s way more fascinating than I anticipated.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 1:12 PM on December 9, 2024 [7 favorites]

My kid loves Christmas and in the car he'll want to listen to the station that started playing nonstop Christmas music on November 1. I'll indulge him and listen to the station sometimes but only if the song is any good, which it being Christmas music, is quite rare. I don't think I've heard Last Christmas this year but if I did I'd probably let it play because it's most likely better than anything else I'd be hearing on the radio.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:14 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

I got wham'd last Thursday afternoon because EVERY damn rickshaw in the West End is blasting either Last Christmas or Mariah Carey. Then I got double-whamned because I walked through Leake Street Tunnel during their Christmas fair and they too were blasting it with gusto in an enclosed concrete-y space.

It's something of a tradition among classical types to watch the wonderfully awful version with the opera singers.
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:25 PM on December 9, 2024 [4 favorites]

At 40 ?

feels like it was just last christmas...
posted by HearHere at 1:30 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

I have gotten whammed the (very next) day after Thanksgiving three years in a row now.
2022, on the loudspeaker in the waiting room to get my Covid booster
2023, in a pedicab Literally the moment I stepped outside the train station on my way back from visiting my family
2024, from a boombox at the Christmas tree farm where I went with my friend and his kids to help them get a tree
posted by Jon_Evil at 1:31 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

I do like "Last Christmas," but I also like the fun of Whamaggedon.

Honestly if there is an overplayed Christmas song I would love to never hear again, it would be Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas."
posted by Kitteh at 1:39 PM on December 9, 2024 [4 favorites]

I have gotten whammed the (very next) day after Thanksgiving three years in a row now.

I think the official rules (and this is also how me and my friends play it) render everything that happens before December 1st as irrelevant.

For all we know, you might have escaped Whamageddon three years in a row now, Jon_Evil. ;)
posted by bigendian at 1:43 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

Pallas Athena, that video is wonderful. It's got real Most Unwanted Song vibes.
posted by dbx at 1:45 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

Surprised I never hear anyone mention its use in the film of We Need to Talk About Kevin when talking about its dark undertones.
posted by atoxyl at 1:52 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

Oh, so covers don't count? I'm still in, I guess.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

Still saving us from tears: The inside story of Wham!'s Last Christmas (from 2017)
posted by Lanark at 2:04 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

So last week Horace Rumpole and I watched this documentary on the making of Do They Know it's Christmas?, which is all composed of contemporary footage shot during the recording session. At one point early on, George Michael is being interviewed, and he's asked about what he hopes for the song. He basically says something along the lines of that he hopes it does well, but not for too long as he also has a Christmas song coming out the week after. The interviewer asks what the song is called and George, somewhat sheepishly replies, Last Christmas.

Oh George, you have no idea.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 2:34 PM on December 9, 2024 [6 favorites]

DiscourseMarker, is it this clip where he's being interviewed by Paula Yates? He even sings a few lines for her. As the post says it's "like asking leonardo da vinci what his next project is and he draws a sketch of the mona lisa for you".
posted by star gentle uterus at 3:33 PM on December 9, 2024 [4 favorites]

Last Christmas is the auditory equivalent of the shiny warm diffuse light that reflects off tinsel.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 3:45 PM on December 9, 2024 [5 favorites]

I love "Last Christmas." But I mean, I also own the 7-inch of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" so ... uh.

I love Christmas music and I have way too many Christmas albums (like I usually buy a couple per year but last year, it went a bit out of control so I need a cooling off year).

I haven't quite been in the spirit this year -- I have yet to put up my tree but maybe the week before Christmas (I'm not at home most of next week). Then maybe a bunch of Christmas music.
posted by edencosmic at 5:32 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

I learned today that whammagedden exists, so I guess now I'm playing whether I like it or not. I feel pretty confident, given I never listen to radio, almost never watch broadcast TV and spend as little time as possible in shopping malls, but the risk increases as Christmas gets closer and retailers ramp up the schmaltz to try and pry some more hard-earned out of my claw-like hands.

I do have a soft spot for Last Christmas and am heartily sick of Ms Carey's tune, but will have to ensure that at least a couple of times as I undertake the traditional annual viewing of Love, Actually.
posted by dg at 6:37 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

This is a really great song that I don't like. The same way I don't like The Wiggles, but I can't deny the joy they bring to children. Major scale 4/4 earworms that match the primary colours they wear. They're really good at this, they know their audience, and they leave 'em smiling. If your job is making kids happy, and you're really good at it, don't stop!

Except I'm not listening to that shit. I'll concede that it's very good, but it was never meant for me.

Enjoy the music you love. Life's too short to be hatin'.
posted by adept256 at 6:44 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

No mention yet of the Sabrina Carpenter/Chappell Roan xmas karaoke version? From Sabrina Carpenter's silly xmas show on Netflix.
posted by gingerbeer at 6:54 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

And on a completely different note (pun intended) Flake Lorenz of Rammstein has released a Christmas album which also happens to include a cover of Last Christmas.
posted by Slothrup at 8:07 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

Sharing the Darren Hayes cover!
posted by creatrixtiara at 9:26 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

I love both Last Christmas and Fairytale. Both bring tears to my eyes when I first hear them each holiday season. Mostly nostalgia getting its claws in me I suppose. I’ve taken to wearing a Wham shirt on Christmas Day too. Soppy ‘ole git that I am.
posted by grumblemf at 11:00 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

I don't see the appeal. I won't try to run it for anyone else, but for me... What??

The singer gave her heart to someone, but then that person gave the heart to someone else? I do not get this metaphor, I can't guess what is meant to be implied here or how deep it goes. I presume that we not talking about literal hearts, I really hope that's not the case at least, but if it doesn't... Then what does it even mean? Is there some trade in figurative hearts happening, a cardiac swap meet of some kind? Did the heart recipient-then-donor receive something in exchange for the singer's heart? What does this mean for the singer, that she's now in love with some third party, maybe one she's never even met? What is the ding dong deputy dog deal??
posted by JHarris at 11:01 PM on December 9, 2024 [1 favorite]

And! And! The year after, she gives her heart away again! So she must have gotten it back somehow. By what process? Did she engage in some kind of fetch quest to get it back, did it return like a homing pigeon, or did it regenerate? That seems like a much more interesting subject for a song honestly that the shmaltz that fills the rest of its runtime.

Like I said, if you enjoy it don't let me stop you. But it raises too many serious questions for me to appreciate.
posted by JHarris at 11:10 PM on December 9, 2024 [2 favorites]

JHarris, it's about one of those British Christmas traditions that, like many things, has it's origins in something much darker, ancient and pagan. Thankfully it's just metaphorical now!
posted by dowcrag at 11:51 PM on December 9, 2024 [3 favorites]

I will take "Last Christmas" fondly a dozen times over hearing Bruce Springsteen's live rendition of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" even once.
posted by SoberHighland at 5:33 AM on December 10, 2024 [2 favorites]

The singer gave her heart to someone, but then that person gave the heart to someone else?

This is your problem, I think. "gave it away" in the lyrics doesn't mean to another person but let it go, i.e. the singer confessed their love to this person but they didn't accept the singer's feelings and so the singer is hurt. So this year the singer wants to give their love to someone special who will cherish it.
posted by star gentle uterus at 7:11 AM on December 10, 2024

I need to blame this thread (and myself) for the fact that I have now had Last Christmas stuck in my head for the last 24 hours.
posted by gingerbeer at 11:29 AM on December 10, 2024

To star gentle uterus, yes, I'm sure (well, pretty sure) that was the intent. But it's more entertaining to me to consider this weird alternate possibility, that there's some international trade in people's metaphorical hearts. (Assuming they've advanced beyond the pagan British tradition that dowcrag suggests.)
posted by JHarris at 12:32 PM on December 10, 2024

The singer gave her heart to someone, but then that person gave the heart to someone else?

the song is about how jenfullmoon's friend thought she was polyamorously banging the karaoke jockey but the very next day he proposed to his presumably monogamous primary partner
posted by taquito sunrise at 1:21 PM on December 10, 2024 [2 favorites]

There is also the romcom Last Christmas which is ...something.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:04 PM on December 10, 2024 [1 favorite]

🎵
It's the last Christmas
The stars are right
Cthulhu woke up
And gave us a fright
Next year
We won't be here
Because we're the Old One's breakfast
🎵

posted by swr at 10:54 PM on December 10, 2024 [2 favorites]

I'd say bless you swr, but of course it's a bleak and godless universe filled with alien things we can't even conceive of!
posted by JHarris at 5:50 AM on December 11, 2024 [1 favorite]

My friend re-posted the video of herself in the tube outfit singing "Fuck You," saying, "Can't believe it's my five year tubeabversary."
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:41 AM on December 12, 2024