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January 7, 2025 2:34 AM   Subscribe

Do you feel insufficiently stimulated? Just click here. A short game about modern existence by neal.fun.
posted by automatronic (56 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
CW: incremental game
(Learn from my mistakes, folks!)
posted by bigendian at 3:01 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]


thanks, I hate it!
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:17 AM on January 7 [9 favorites]


I feel absolutely attacked.
posted by gauche at 3:22 AM on January 7 [3 favorites]


Oh my god, that's horrible
posted by prismatic7 at 3:45 AM on January 7 [3 favorites]


I got so far in that the tab crashed, saving me from myself.
posted by Panthalassa at 4:00 AM on January 7 [4 favorites]


I eventually closed the tab and Safari decided to play a screaming buzzer sound at full volume until I quit the whole program.

Well done Neal.
posted by grahamparks at 4:06 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]


It’s things like this that make me worry about my mental health.
posted by Farce_First at 4:53 AM on January 7


I hit 50 and then quit.
posted by manageyourexpectations at 5:03 AM on January 7


I am so angry at myself right now.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:38 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]


I've never seen anything replicate the average experience of reading a local affiliate station news article on mobile so faithfully.
posted by phunniemee at 5:47 AM on January 7 [12 favorites]


That was ... A little too close to home? A little too addicting?
posted by jacquilynne at 6:01 AM on January 7


Spoilers...
Step 1: Create a few DVD bouncers
Step 2: Resize the window to be really really small
Step 3: Profit

(For extra fun and points, add the DVD bounce noise -- my computer current sounds like a geiger counter shacked up with the elephant's foot.)
posted by thandal at 6:02 AM on January 7 [5 favorites]


I quit at 25. What do I win?
posted by Lemkin at 6:07 AM on January 7


It's got an ending (in a relatively short period of time for this sort of thing), but if you're like me, you'll need to mute the tab to make it there.
posted by juv3nal at 6:22 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]


I'm now listening to lofi beats and gentle rain with the tab minimized. Huge success. Thrilled.

The same creator's 'Spend Bill Gates' Money' is more disturbing to me than this ultimately charming variant of Cookie Clicker.
posted by ngaiotonga at 6:23 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]


By the end I was (a) feeling a little dizzy but also (b) worried that we'd never find out what happened to the mermaid.
posted by mittens at 6:33 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]


I can't stop laughing! I'm so stimulated!!! "😢 Tired of Being Alone? Try Our NEW AI Companion Pillow!!!"
posted by dmh at 6:44 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]


CRUEL.
posted by TheCoug at 6:51 AM on January 7


I would have paid 1000 stimulations to get rid of the annoying bouncing DVDs. I think I'll stick with my sharks.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:58 AM on January 7


i guess i have a special kind of brain because i just wasted 20! minutes on this before i closed the tab. the upgrades seem endless. and it was not yet too chaotic for me
posted by dis_integration at 7:03 AM on January 7


it does end. you can buy your way out. this is part of my shame, that i know this.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:06 AM on January 7 [5 favorites]


I just closed the tab. I deserve a medal.
posted by TheCoug at 7:14 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]


I enjoyed this as a statement on the current state of the internet and, well, all media. Made it to the end (thanks to muting the tab). If you missed the headlines as they scrolled, they are pretty hilarious.
posted by General Malaise at 7:24 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]


Well, the more stuff I added the less well everything worked, which is pretty much on par for my aging computer.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:26 AM on January 7


I just closed the tab. I deserve a medal.

Here you go, 1000 stimulations.
You can try to leave the game, but does the game leave you?
posted by signal at 7:31 AM on January 7 [3 favorites]


Playing this at work, no sound, makes me feel like Dylan from Severance. I've already earned corners hits and auto hydraulic press upgrades. They don't give those out to just anyone, you know.
posted by Hume at 7:49 AM on January 7


20! minutes is a long time.
posted by emelenjr at 8:16 AM on January 7 [4 favorites]


The whole thing froze up just as I got enough clicks to move to the ocean and I can't tell if that was deliberate or just a thing that happened.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:43 AM on January 7


The transition between "hilarious" and "hell on earth" was rapid and unforgiving.
posted by ourobouros at 8:53 AM on January 7 [4 favorites]


On reflection, I'm a little surprised by how the feeling right towards the end--prior to the ocean, but getting there--is how it feels, like, most afternoons for me, with tasks piling up and deadlines and people needing things. I've been describing it in cartoon terms, like when a character has a bucket on its head, and someone bangs on the side to ring it like a bell.

Are we sure this game isn't, like, a screening and diagnostic tool?
posted by mittens at 9:24 AM on January 7 [1 favorite]


"Meditate twice as fast."
posted by genpfault at 10:18 AM on January 7 [8 favorites]


The relief from having gone to the ocean is so real that I may actually go get in my car and go IRL.
posted by Myca at 10:34 AM on January 7 [3 favorites]


That was so stressful but I wanted to finish it. I'm happy I did.
posted by edencosmic at 11:12 AM on January 7


Myca -- make sure you're listening to a murder podcast, an exercise tape, a mukbang video, etc. while you're driving there. Alternately you could hire someone to ride along with you and just beat you about the head with a hammer at intermittent intervals.
posted by turbowombat at 11:22 AM on January 7


my chicken died :(
posted by batonthefueltank at 11:37 AM on January 7 [2 favorites]


Find your way to the sunset, you'll be alright.
posted by smilefreely at 11:55 AM on January 7


This brings to mind an important question: why doesn't metafilter's background color constantly cycle?
posted by Galaxor Nebulon at 12:14 PM on January 7 [5 favorites]


It does, but the cycle takes approximately 2900 years to complete.
posted by mbrubeck at 12:26 PM on January 7 [7 favorites]


Aaargh I refreshed my browser by mistake (on mobile) and it went back to the beginning! I was just saving up for the tamagotchi :-/ Not sure I have it in me to start afresh...
posted by toebeans at 12:50 PM on January 7


Breaking News: "Op ed: I've always wanted to write an op ed"
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 1:10 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]


This brings to mind an important question: why doesn't metafilter's background color constantly cycle?

I think that was an option for awhile but it only lasted a short time.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:11 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]


Started the game with a strong will and a resolve to "just quickly check it out." Then the need for dopamine took over.

Pulled away after 15 minutes* when I caught the image of a crazed man in my screen. I was alone.

Never have I been more thankful to vicariously find out the end of a game. Thanks MeFi.

*Note: Possibly an unreliable narrator
posted by Hardcore Poser at 1:39 PM on January 7


A meeting got canceled so I jumped back into the STIMULATION ZONE and I have to say, this is a genuinely great work of art and only gets better and better, until you go to the beach, which is also incredibly satisfying.
posted by dis_integration at 2:06 PM on January 7 [4 favorites]


This makes me miss the sharks, and I cannot go back to the sharks.
posted by gladly at 5:14 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]


Go to the Ocean (this cannot be undone)
posted by box at 5:32 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]


Oh no my chicken died.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:49 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]


If you, like myself, have a certain kind of brain worms, you might want to get all the achievements. One of them is for getting every Duo question correct; here's the answer key:


Duo questions
1) How do you say goodbye in Welsh?
** Hwyl far
Farthee gow
Hrtha tee
Gwyn morn


2) Owls are commonly viewed as harbingers of:
Good Luck
** Death
Change
Love


3) Which language is spoken by more people?
English
Spanish
** Mandarin
French


4) Which one of these is not a German word?
Schneebesen
Rotzlöffel
** Gemealez
Handschuhe


5) In Japanese, which word represents the sound of silence?
** Shiin
Shushu
Sho
Shinigami


6) The most common starting letter in English is:
** S
A
B
C


7) Which of these used to be a part of the English alphabet?
*
** &
$
%


8) Which of these is not a fictional language?
Lapine
Dothraki
Quenya
** Yurok


9) There's only one English word that ends in
** mt
Te
Nz
Ep


10) What is the plural of octopus
Only octopi
Only octopuses
** Octopi or octopuses
None of the Above


11) Owls can spot prey up to ___ away
100 feet
500 feet
** Half a mile
A mile


12) Past tense of sneak?
** Sneaked or snuck
Only snuck
Snuck or sneakered
Sneaked or snucked


13) Which of these words have French origin?
** Jury
Animal
Romance
Envy


14) Most common letter in English
A
T
L
** E


15) Hiraeth, deep longing for home, is
** Welsh
Swedish
Portuguese
Gaelic


16) How many languages exist today?
Around 80,000
** Around 7,100
Around 690
Around 18,500


17) Which language has about 421 words for snow?
** Scottish
Inukitut
Danish
Icelandic


18) Which is NOT an extinct language?
** Esperanto
Pazeh
Livonian
Wichita


19) What is an umlaut?
§
^
ø
** ¨


20) What does "fruits de mer" mean?
Fruit basket
Magic beans
Fruit of the loom
** Seafood


21) Which is NOT a romance language?
Portugese
Romanian
** Polish
French

22) Which word appears in the Oxford English Dictionary?
Amazeballs
Cowabunga
Awesomesauce
** All of the above


23) Which is NOT a word for potato?
Patata
** Potate
Papa
Tatws


24) "Saudade" is a Portuguese word for
** Nostalgic longing
Intense indigestion
Sudden rash
Romantic misery


25) What is Duo's favorite word?
Change
Rot
Ambivalence
** Vengeance


26) Which word rhymes with "trough"?
Through
** Rough
Cough
Ugh


27) What is an owl pellet?
Owl droppings
** Undigested prey
A type of owl food
A small owl


28) In medieval Europe, what creature were owls often associated with?
Vampires
Werewolves
** Witches
Demons


29) Owls have double the __ of humans
** Vertebrae
Charisma
Stamina
Brain cells


30) A group of pugs is called a:
A puggle
** A grumble
A snort
A wrinkle


31) What is the term for a word that is the same backwards and forwards?
** Palindrome
Anagram
Homograph
Synonym


32) How many degrees can an owl rotate is head?
180 degrees
** 270 degrees
360 degrees
90 degrees


33) What is the only letter that doesn't appear in any U.S. state name?
X
** Q
Z
J


34) In which language is 'Gesundheit' commonly used after someone sneezes?
French
Spanish
** German
Italian


35) Which of these words is its own opposite?
Suck
** Dust
Run
Quick


36) What's the only letter that doesn't appear in the periodic table
** J
Q
X
Z


37) Which of these is spelled correctly?
Minuscule
** Minuscule
Miniscuel
All of the above


38) Which of these words changes its meaning when capitalized?
Same/same
** March/march
Water/water
Laser/laser


Note number 37, which has two identical answers. You must select the second of them. I don't know whether that was intentional or not.

Getting the acheivement for reaching level 50 is a bit grindy, but apparently not required to get the "Unlock all achievements" one. If you're missing the one on the bottom row, far right side, that's for playing after 8 pm, and you're out of luck if you're playing during the daytime.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 8:21 PM on January 7 [2 favorites]


If you're missing the one on the bottom row, far right side, that's for playing after 8 pm, and you're out of luck if you're playing during the daytime.

This is like a dozen times more evil than everything else in this entire mountain of evil.
posted by automatronic at 8:33 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]


vibratory manner of working: Is #26 a mistake? Looks to me like trough is pronounced TRAWF or TROF -- which rhymes with "cough" (pronounced KAWF or KOF), not with "rough" (pronounced RUHF).
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 9:17 PM on January 7


I'm sorry, I loved this

Thanks for sharing!
posted by JoeXIII007 at 9:33 PM on January 7


I had the same thought re: #26. If it's a mistake, it's not on my end, and it *could* just reflect the author's idiolect. I'm not sure.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 9:49 PM on January 7


The Let’s Settle This question about whether we’re living in a simulation is tied at 50/50. Seems like what I’d expect, given that we’re living in a simulation.

This site is delightful.
posted by bluloo at 10:30 PM on January 7


why doesn't metafilter's background color constantly cycle?

Because anything short of professional white is unprofessional.

neal.fun previously on Metafilter:

Infinite Craft
The Password Game
posted by flabdablet at 3:30 AM on January 8


The parody true crime podcast is here and is far far better than it needs to be.
posted by grahamparks at 6:07 AM on January 8 [3 favorites]


"Corrnorr hit!"

You have to opt in for the e-mail box and then read the mail. Brie 'n' Brayden! Brayden 'n' Brie!

I knew I absolutely did not want to click "subway surfer fullscreen," and I knew that inevitably one of the falling coins or gems or treasure chests or the godforsaken chicken was going to be too near it and I'd click it in spite of all my efforts, so when it happened it was even more hilarious. And then the "wormhole" thing. God, I love this guy so much.
posted by Don Pepino at 3:58 PM on January 8


Does anyone need a recipe for something to eat while they're playing this game? Here's a good recipe.
posted by phunniemee at 5:26 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]


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