*munch munch munch munch munch*
February 1, 2025 2:21 PM Subscribe
Why We’re Raising 100+ Guinea Pigs to Mow Our Blueberry Orchard! Some farmers in Wales who are raising a herd of guinea pigs to mow their blueberry orchard document the relentless experimentation they do to figure out how to make it work. Their dog helps round up the little piggies when they escape.
came for the West Welsh accents, was disappointed but stayed for the pigs
wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek
posted by cabbage raccoon at 3:04 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]
wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek wheek
posted by cabbage raccoon at 3:04 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]
Feral Guinea Pig Problem is the name of my prog-metal band.
posted by Lemkin at 3:35 PM on February 1 [15 favorites]
posted by Lemkin at 3:35 PM on February 1 [15 favorites]
Well, Wales is about to get a massive feral guinea pig problem.
My guess is that if this was very possible, it would have happened by now, since people have had guinea pigs in the UK for hundreds of years. I have heard that feral guinea pigs are a problem in Hawaii, but then I suppose: what animal hasn't gone feral in Hawaii?
posted by polecat at 3:38 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]
My guess is that if this was very possible, it would have happened by now, since people have had guinea pigs in the UK for hundreds of years. I have heard that feral guinea pigs are a problem in Hawaii, but then I suppose: what animal hasn't gone feral in Hawaii?
posted by polecat at 3:38 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]
massive feral guinea pig problem
A massive feral guinea pig bonanza!
posted by mittens at 3:40 PM on February 1 [15 favorites]
A massive feral guinea pig bonanza!
posted by mittens at 3:40 PM on February 1 [15 favorites]
New Video: Why We're Raising 100+ Foxes For Our Blueberry Orchard!
posted by mittens at 3:40 PM on February 1 [19 favorites]
posted by mittens at 3:40 PM on February 1 [19 favorites]
This was so absolutely dumb that I was compelled to watch the entire slow-motion thing. S-tier post: I cannot imagine any universe where I would ever have thought something like this might exist.
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 3:42 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]
posted by outgrown_hobnail at 3:42 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]
The second comment on the YT post, by Verdune, is vastly illuminating. It is amazing how many things these guys are doing wrong! (at least according to Verdune, who goes into substantial detail on how to improve things). One of the better YT comments I have read.
posted by jcworth at 3:45 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]
posted by jcworth at 3:45 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]
No chance whatsoever of feral guinea pigs in the UK. I've known people to have a colony living in a network of burrows under their garden - it's quite a sight. They're about as defenceless as an animal can be though, so any escapees would quickly become ex-capees.
posted by pipeski at 3:53 PM on February 1 [7 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 3:53 PM on February 1 [7 favorites]
btw, the burrows were mostly made by rabbits, and the guinea pigs moved in.
posted by pipeski at 4:00 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 4:00 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]
It's too bad their time savings looks only small-ish here, otherwise very cute idea.
Appears guinea pigs do not even become invasive in Australia, so an easy dinner for predator species. Any idea why wild guinea pigs do not burrow? They originate above 4200 m = 14k ft in the in the Andes mountains, so maybe they'd rocks and plants to hide in there, but the ground was too hard to burrow?
posted by jeffburdges at 4:18 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]
Appears guinea pigs do not even become invasive in Australia, so an easy dinner for predator species. Any idea why wild guinea pigs do not burrow? They originate above 4200 m = 14k ft in the in the Andes mountains, so maybe they'd rocks and plants to hide in there, but the ground was too hard to burrow?
posted by jeffburdges at 4:18 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]
This is cruel. They're using guinea pigs as unwilling, uncomprehending test subjects!
posted by PlusDistance at 4:53 PM on February 1 [11 favorites]
posted by PlusDistance at 4:53 PM on February 1 [11 favorites]
Ok, this would obviously be way more work than mowing my small city yard, but also I would like to be the crazy lady with the yard guinea pigs. And a blueberry orchard for that matter.
posted by the primroses were over at 5:08 PM on February 1 [4 favorites]
posted by the primroses were over at 5:08 PM on February 1 [4 favorites]
Did I miss the part where they explained why only males would do the mowing? Were they only going to put one gender out in the blueberry orchard at a time, to prevent accidental litters, maybe? They already seemed to have a plan for separating the males and females though.
(This was very cute; we had guinea pigs for several years and they can do a good job on a suburban lawn, especially the dandelions!)
posted by helpthebear at 5:22 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]
(This was very cute; we had guinea pigs for several years and they can do a good job on a suburban lawn, especially the dandelions!)
posted by helpthebear at 5:22 PM on February 1 [3 favorites]
Did I miss the part where they explained why only males would do the mowing?
My recollection is that they were putting the males in the orchard at first, and they started introducing the females and pups once they thought they were closer to having a system that worked.
posted by polecat at 5:47 PM on February 1
My recollection is that they were putting the males in the orchard at first, and they started introducing the females and pups once they thought they were closer to having a system that worked.
posted by polecat at 5:47 PM on February 1
We have blueberry bushes and by far the biggest issue is keeping the birds off them. Netting is not an easy solution plus it puts the birds and other animals at risk for getting tangled up. Mowing the grass isn’t even on our list of issues.
posted by waving at 5:56 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
posted by waving at 5:56 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
"Oops, we left a gap and 12 guinea pigs got out and I had to go catch them" cracked me the hell up. "After hours of trying to catch them in the rain...also the dog caught one" sounded ominous. Implied the dog killed it? But then it was followed by the dog finding the last guinea pig and quietly parking himself near it and the guy saying the dog knows that the guinea pigs are important.
"They keep getting out of the pens. It's great that they come back..."
The guinea pigs do look absolutely cute as shit, though, with shiny coats. And one is named Kevin Bacon! And then he poops!
"Spoiler alert: it didn't do the trick."
THE SHEER AMOUNT OF TUNNEL POOP.
"Have we just wasted 30 minutes of everyone's time?" (awkward chuckle)
He's going to leave them outside in winter? Raising Guinea Pigs Outdoors in Winter Using Our NEW Mowing Crates
THERE'S BABY GUINEA PIGS!!!! SO TINY!!!!
"The manure is evenly distributed across our farm." This does not surprise me.
OMG A SWARM OF GUINEA PIGS
BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"They're ok, they're just wet and cold." I feel bad for the pigs.
Forget Lawn Mowers—Meet the ULTIMATE Guinea Pig Tractor!
This takes an ominous turn when it turns out that the cats are going after the baby ducks and baby pigs :(
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:15 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
"They keep getting out of the pens. It's great that they come back..."
The guinea pigs do look absolutely cute as shit, though, with shiny coats. And one is named Kevin Bacon! And then he poops!
"Spoiler alert: it didn't do the trick."
THE SHEER AMOUNT OF TUNNEL POOP.
"Have we just wasted 30 minutes of everyone's time?" (awkward chuckle)
He's going to leave them outside in winter? Raising Guinea Pigs Outdoors in Winter Using Our NEW Mowing Crates
THERE'S BABY GUINEA PIGS!!!! SO TINY!!!!
"The manure is evenly distributed across our farm." This does not surprise me.
OMG A SWARM OF GUINEA PIGS
BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"They're ok, they're just wet and cold." I feel bad for the pigs.
Forget Lawn Mowers—Meet the ULTIMATE Guinea Pig Tractor!
This takes an ominous turn when it turns out that the cats are going after the baby ducks and baby pigs :(
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:15 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
hmmm? I don't get it. why do you need to mow the grass between the blue berries in the first place.
posted by quazichimp at 9:38 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
posted by quazichimp at 9:38 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
He's going to leave them outside in winter?
Guinea pigs evolved for weather colder than winter in Wales. I don't think the winter would be an issue, unless the grass dies.
I also dont understand why they have to mow the grass.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:48 PM on February 1
Guinea pigs evolved for weather colder than winter in Wales. I don't think the winter would be an issue, unless the grass dies.
I also dont understand why they have to mow the grass.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:48 PM on February 1
One of my roommates was friends with a dude who had 28 outdoor guinea pigs. The friend moved away and the guinea pigs came to live on the sheltered south side of my house. Roommate set up a cute gp barn made out of pallets covered with roofing. Of course the roommate moved on later that year leaving me holding the bag. I was working at the food co-op and I asked the produce trimmers to save me a big bag of trimming every day. When I came home with the bag, the guinea pigs would run out excitedly wheek wheek wheeking for the food. They'd settle down to munch happily. The colony lasted several years and I was sad when there numbers tapered off. My yard has deep rich composted soil when they used to live.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:02 PM on February 1 [17 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:02 PM on February 1 [17 favorites]
We used a similar mobile weld-mesh moving-cage technique with chickens for many years. The 8ft x 4ft = 2400mm x 1200mm weld-mesh sheets were shiny-bright and cheap, like in Parc Carreg, when we bought them in 1998. Then the price of steel went vertical while our weld-mesh slumped and got rusty. The bottom edge rusted off leaving spikes which made better contact with uneven ground but were a health and safety nightmare. Also blue plastic baler twine, with which we joined the weld-mesh corners (and held up trousers etc.) became unavailable when hay-bales started to be wrapped in netting.
posted by BobTheScientist at 10:29 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
posted by BobTheScientist at 10:29 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
why do you need to mow the grass between the blue berries in the first place.
The grass, in this situation, is functioning as a weed competing with the berries for resources/moisture in the soil.
posted by stet at 10:44 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]
The grass, in this situation, is functioning as a weed competing with the berries for resources/moisture in the soil.
posted by stet at 10:44 PM on February 1 [5 favorites]
And grass gets taller than blueberry bushes, makes harvest hard.
And in a good blueberry climate, if you don’t suppress grass, in a few years you’ll have *trees*. Among the brambles and ivy and bindweed and nightshade.
Grazing, scything, mowing are really good weed suppression tactics.
posted by clew at 10:52 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]
And in a good blueberry climate, if you don’t suppress grass, in a few years you’ll have *trees*. Among the brambles and ivy and bindweed and nightshade.
Grazing, scything, mowing are really good weed suppression tactics.
posted by clew at 10:52 PM on February 1 [2 favorites]
This is hilarious, thank you for sharing.
posted by alfhild at 11:24 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
posted by alfhild at 11:24 PM on February 1 [1 favorite]
Were the goats and sheep busy? I don't get it.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 4:17 AM on February 2
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 4:17 AM on February 2
Were the goats and sheep busy? I don't get it.
Piggies can't reach up to eat the blueberry bushes, which sheep and goats would find very tasty.
posted by anadem at 4:40 AM on February 2 [4 favorites]
Piggies can't reach up to eat the blueberry bushes, which sheep and goats would find very tasty.
posted by anadem at 4:40 AM on February 2 [4 favorites]
As a former goat owner, the idea of using goats to control weeds around blueberry bushes just made me snort coffee on my keyboard.
Guinea pigs are absolutely the optimal grazing livestock to use for this job. They're primarily interested in leaves rather than bark, they're docile, they don't climb, escapees are far more likely to become easy prey than an invasion hazard, their shit is excellent fertilizer, their used bedding is magic in a compost pile, and they're cute as hell.
posted by flabdablet at 5:41 AM on February 2 [13 favorites]
Guinea pigs are absolutely the optimal grazing livestock to use for this job. They're primarily interested in leaves rather than bark, they're docile, they don't climb, escapees are far more likely to become easy prey than an invasion hazard, their shit is excellent fertilizer, their used bedding is magic in a compost pile, and they're cute as hell.
posted by flabdablet at 5:41 AM on February 2 [13 favorites]
came for the West Welsh accents, was disappointed but stayed for the pigs
We prefer West Walian cabbage racoon...
posted by jonnyseveral at 7:19 AM on February 2 [1 favorite]
We prefer West Walian cabbage racoon...
posted by jonnyseveral at 7:19 AM on February 2 [1 favorite]
Thanks jonnyseveral! I’m new about these parts (living in the valleys in South Wales the past 2.5 years) so guidance on the best way to say things is very appreciated.
I am… I mean, grain of salt and everything because I’m not Welsh but I am bothered by how many rich ex-London back-to-the-land types like these there seem to be setting up shop in West Wales. It gives me the ick the same way American “homesteader” influencers do.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 7:44 AM on February 2 [1 favorite]
I am… I mean, grain of salt and everything because I’m not Welsh but I am bothered by how many rich ex-London back-to-the-land types like these there seem to be setting up shop in West Wales. It gives me the ick the same way American “homesteader” influencers do.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 7:44 AM on February 2 [1 favorite]
If the concept of "massive feral guinea pig problem" appeals, may I recommend the short story "Pigs is Pigs" by Ellis Parker Butler?
posted by pollytropos at 7:47 AM on February 2 [3 favorites]
posted by pollytropos at 7:47 AM on February 2 [3 favorites]
Your usual early 20th-century warning for racism & eye dialect for the above link, btw.
posted by pollytropos at 7:52 AM on February 2
posted by pollytropos at 7:52 AM on February 2
waving, I’ve been imagining tight-strung netting over the top (or nylon mesh too fine to catch birds) on a permanent fence base tall enough to keep guinea pigs in. If! the guinea pigs, kept in, did all the maintenance around the base that I’d otherwise need access for.
Well. Probably can’t teach them to do the annual pruning. (“wheek wheek wheek???”)
posted by clew at 9:47 AM on February 2 [1 favorite]
Well. Probably can’t teach them to do the annual pruning. (“wheek wheek wheek???”)
posted by clew at 9:47 AM on February 2 [1 favorite]
Now YouTube is sending me Guinea Pig Village Tour - Wild West Town - Hog Springs. It's a zoo in the UK full of rescued pigs.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:23 AM on February 2 [2 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:23 AM on February 2 [2 favorites]
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What idiots.
posted by awfurby at 2:56 PM on February 1 [11 favorites]