You're ok with the boss talking about erections at work, right?
March 21, 2025 1:44 PM Subscribe
How Bryan Johnson, Who Wants to Live Forever, Sought Control via Confidentiality Agreements Another day, another skeevy CEO. This one combines sexual creepiness, drugs, wishing he had Elon's popularity, and oh yeah, he started his own religion. And he's not going to die!
This guy cracks me up in the bad way:
* ex-Mormon, divorced his wife to bang around and drug up
* thinks he can live forever and not age
* "receiving the blood plasma of his then-17-year-old son and repeatedly shocking his penis to increase his erections."
* "This month, he announced his own religion, which is named after his longevity slogan, “Don’t Die.” It would save the human race, he said."
* "Mr. Johnson increasingly fixated on his reputation, according to former friends and employees, and wondered why he was not getting as much publicity as Mr. Musk." (Sweetie, you don't want THAT popularity.)
* "Under that agreement, employees had to attest that they were OK with Mr. Johnson’s wearing “little and sometimes no clothing/no underwear” and with hearing “discussions of sexual activities, including erections,” according to a copy. They also had to agree that Mr. Johnson’s behavior was not “unwelcome, offensive, humiliating, hostile, triggering, unprofessional or abusive.”
* Broke up and fired his employee/fiancee when she got cancer.
* Don't try his longevity mix.
Also, is it working?
"In the Netflix documentary, which was largely filmed in 2023, Mr. Johnson said his biological age had reversed 5.1 years. But the results of a range of internal studies of his health between January 2022 and February 2024 showed it had increased by as much as 10 years, according to charts of the blood test results. It’s unclear what his current tests show."
This guy cracks me up in the bad way:
* ex-Mormon, divorced his wife to bang around and drug up
* thinks he can live forever and not age
* "receiving the blood plasma of his then-17-year-old son and repeatedly shocking his penis to increase his erections."
* "This month, he announced his own religion, which is named after his longevity slogan, “Don’t Die.” It would save the human race, he said."
* "Mr. Johnson increasingly fixated on his reputation, according to former friends and employees, and wondered why he was not getting as much publicity as Mr. Musk." (Sweetie, you don't want THAT popularity.)
* "Under that agreement, employees had to attest that they were OK with Mr. Johnson’s wearing “little and sometimes no clothing/no underwear” and with hearing “discussions of sexual activities, including erections,” according to a copy. They also had to agree that Mr. Johnson’s behavior was not “unwelcome, offensive, humiliating, hostile, triggering, unprofessional or abusive.”
* Broke up and fired his employee/fiancee when she got cancer.
* Don't try his longevity mix.
Also, is it working?
"In the Netflix documentary, which was largely filmed in 2023, Mr. Johnson said his biological age had reversed 5.1 years. But the results of a range of internal studies of his health between January 2022 and February 2024 showed it had increased by as much as 10 years, according to charts of the blood test results. It’s unclear what his current tests show."
I've kind of idly wondered about this guy when he comes up. So you're wealthy, have time on your hands, and have decided to pursue radical approaches to life/youth extension. Why would you intentionally make yourself a public spectacle on top of that? Why would you behave like an influencer?
It's becoming a little clearer.
posted by figurant at 1:51 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
It's becoming a little clearer.
posted by figurant at 1:51 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
Don't die? To do what, exactly? Just keep knocking around your local neighborhood, working for the next 10,000 years? Or will you have saved enough for an eternal retirement? And what if you do actually unlock the 'live forever' code and slip on a banana peel on New Year's Day of your 145th year? To be clear, I'm not looking for a quick off-ramp into the Great Beyond but no one has (as far as I know) articulated why this would be an actual good for anyone.
posted by jquinby at 1:54 PM on March 21 [6 favorites]
posted by jquinby at 1:54 PM on March 21 [6 favorites]
Rich people are so cheap. Like, if I were a rich person and had behaved badly to an ex (see all this at the end of the article, when maybe it should have led because IMO it's the most damning) and all she wanted was $150,000, I'd just...pay $150,000, the easiest way to pay for something is with money, etc. Indeed, one probably wouldn't need to mess with confidentiality agreements if one just lavished one's employees with benefits. One could probably be a giant weirdo and maybe even a bit of a creep if it went no farther than the "clothing optional office" level, but people would write all that off for great salaries and perks.
posted by Frowner at 1:55 PM on March 21 [19 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 1:55 PM on March 21 [19 favorites]
The next time anyone should have to hear about this guy should either be his obituary or because he's lived to 125 in good health. Until then he can grift in obscurity.
posted by jedicus at 1:55 PM on March 21 [12 favorites]
posted by jedicus at 1:55 PM on March 21 [12 favorites]
I mean, I could see enjoying eternal or vastly extended life if I could live in good health - like, if I could be about 35 forever, and I felt fairly confident that I could sustain an okay life for most of that time and maybe a really good life for some of it, and my peers were also living forever so that it wasn't just Extremely Old Frowner and no one else who even remembers the 21st century. I love reading and learning, so I'm fairly sure that I could amuse myself for hundreds of years if I had the chance.
Declining health, frailty, peers dying around me, worsening climate, probably horrible human society death spiral as the climate collapses - not so much. Honestly, even if I could live in a dome, I don't think I'd want to watch the rest of the world die. At the risk of sounding self-absorbed, seeing what has been happening to Gazans this past eighteen months has been absolutely horrible, intensely destabilizing and distressing, and so I don't think "I'm going to live in a bubble as most of the rest of humanity suffers and dies outside" is really going to be the super fun, super relaxing thing that billionaires think it will be. Maybe for them, because they are incapable of love or fellow feeling, but they still have families and servants who will take it pretty hard.
posted by Frowner at 2:01 PM on March 21 [27 favorites]
Declining health, frailty, peers dying around me, worsening climate, probably horrible human society death spiral as the climate collapses - not so much. Honestly, even if I could live in a dome, I don't think I'd want to watch the rest of the world die. At the risk of sounding self-absorbed, seeing what has been happening to Gazans this past eighteen months has been absolutely horrible, intensely destabilizing and distressing, and so I don't think "I'm going to live in a bubble as most of the rest of humanity suffers and dies outside" is really going to be the super fun, super relaxing thing that billionaires think it will be. Maybe for them, because they are incapable of love or fellow feeling, but they still have families and servants who will take it pretty hard.
posted by Frowner at 2:01 PM on March 21 [27 favorites]
"I want you to sign this confidentiality agreement so you don't say anything embarrassing about me while I tweet about my erections and my bloodboy."
posted by mittens at 2:01 PM on March 21 [26 favorites]
posted by mittens at 2:01 PM on March 21 [26 favorites]
I hope just enough of him lives on so that other people can mock him forever.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:04 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:04 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
so that it wasn't just Extremely Old Frowner and no one else who even remembers the 21st century
New The Giver reboot just dropped.
posted by jedicus at 2:06 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]
New The Giver reboot just dropped.
posted by jedicus at 2:06 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]
Back in ye olden times the rich people figured out how to live forever by doing massive philanthropy projects for their personal PR.
Who gives a shit about Standard Oil, Rockefeller will live forever in Spelman College, University of Chicago, and several dozen places around New York. Steel, schmeel, Carnegie gave us 150 years of beautiful music, schools, and libraries. Now we get these creepo freaks who edgelord on twitter, ride dicks into space, and *checks notes* steal their child's blood. It's so shortsighted. You want to live forever, go buy the world some culture you little shits.
posted by phunniemee at 2:09 PM on March 21 [69 favorites]
Who gives a shit about Standard Oil, Rockefeller will live forever in Spelman College, University of Chicago, and several dozen places around New York. Steel, schmeel, Carnegie gave us 150 years of beautiful music, schools, and libraries. Now we get these creepo freaks who edgelord on twitter, ride dicks into space, and *checks notes* steal their child's blood. It's so shortsighted. You want to live forever, go buy the world some culture you little shits.
posted by phunniemee at 2:09 PM on March 21 [69 favorites]
Don't die? To do what, exactly?
To keep that NDA from expiring, naturally. Who'd want that as their obituary?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:11 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
To keep that NDA from expiring, naturally. Who'd want that as their obituary?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:11 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
Oh fun we haven't had a good ol' Heavens Gate is a while! This guy is off to a great start. Can't wait to see how alien technology factors in on all this "Don't Die" crap.
posted by alex_skazat at 2:20 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
posted by alex_skazat at 2:20 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
Well, that is literally sick. He looks not a day under 47 and is creepy as hell.
I worry for his former girlfriend but US law confuses me much.
posted by mumimor at 2:21 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
I worry for his former girlfriend but US law confuses me much.
posted by mumimor at 2:21 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
Also reminder: Billionaires aren't you're friends!
posted by alex_skazat at 2:21 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
posted by alex_skazat at 2:21 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
If rich people suddenly started living for 100s of years (and if I had a unicorn), do you think it would make any difference in the climate crisis? Suddenly, they'd have a lot more skin in the game.
Don't get me wrong, immortal jackoff billionaires is a pretty deep hellscape.
Also, what about the brain? It's not like there's infinite storage space. Old people (I am one!) are like old PCs, need defragging, too much malware. If you start deleting files en-masse, we have a Brain of Theseus problem.
Imagine an infinity of why did I just walk into this room?
I think best case scenario you are a very old body whose current consciousness has very little in common with who you were 300 years ago.
posted by chromecow at 2:29 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Don't get me wrong, immortal jackoff billionaires is a pretty deep hellscape.
Also, what about the brain? It's not like there's infinite storage space. Old people (I am one!) are like old PCs, need defragging, too much malware. If you start deleting files en-masse, we have a Brain of Theseus problem.
Imagine an infinity of why did I just walk into this room?
I think best case scenario you are a very old body whose current consciousness has very little in common with who you were 300 years ago.
posted by chromecow at 2:29 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
He'll live on forever as an object of ridicule
posted by chavenet at 2:30 PM on March 21 [10 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 2:30 PM on March 21 [10 favorites]
Lily Alexandre did an excellent video Essay Deep Dive on this Creepy, Deluded Dude.
It's 1 hours 26 minutes long and every second, the facts about him just keep ramping up and up into the stratosphere of CukooBanapants Land.
posted by Faintdreams at 2:32 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
It's 1 hours 26 minutes long and every second, the facts about him just keep ramping up and up into the stratosphere of CukooBanapants Land.
posted by Faintdreams at 2:32 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
My dad, currently in his 80s and quite healthy, has been a follower of various life extension ideas for decades, ever since I was a kid. Mainly of the vitamin supplement, exercise, and light healthy eating variety. I'm so grateful that at no time has he ever asked for excessive amounts of my blood plasma.
posted by dnash at 2:40 PM on March 21 [8 favorites]
posted by dnash at 2:40 PM on March 21 [8 favorites]
Guy named Johnson, talking about erections: Eponysterical.
posted by zaixfeep at 2:44 PM on March 21 [8 favorites]
posted by zaixfeep at 2:44 PM on March 21 [8 favorites]
Most of us stay sane, empathetic and grounded by accepting how little control and dominance we have over others and our environment. Wealth and power grant a little control/dominance which creates an insatiable hunger for more — and a corresponding drop in empathy and groundedness.
When you get enough money and power, then aging and death (and maybe Mars) is your game's final boss. Ironic because these people want to change the world, while Steve Jobs famously said that death is the ultimate change agent, and Anne Rice fantasized as to how unchanging and empty eternal life might be in practice.
posted by zaixfeep at 3:06 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]
When you get enough money and power, then aging and death (and maybe Mars) is your game's final boss. Ironic because these people want to change the world, while Steve Jobs famously said that death is the ultimate change agent, and Anne Rice fantasized as to how unchanging and empty eternal life might be in practice.
posted by zaixfeep at 3:06 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]
THIS IS THE SECOND FPP ABOUT THIS NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH THIS YEAR. MAY I STRESS ONCE AGAIN HOW MUCH HE PISSES ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW SO OFF THAT IT SEEMS WE MAY LOSE THE CAPACITY TO MICTURATE. THAT'S HIS FUNCTION. YOU GET THAT RIGHT? CAN WE PLEASE IGNORE HIM GOING FORWARD UNTIL HE'S DEAD OR ON A ROCKET WITH ELONG TO THE SUN (WITH THEIR SONS? YES! BECAUSE YOU *KNOW* THEY'RE GOING TO BE INSUFFERABLE) SO I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT HIM EVER AGAIN UNLESS IT'S HILARIOUS NEWS?
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 3:06 PM on March 21 [15 favorites]
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 3:06 PM on March 21 [15 favorites]
Would not be surprised to find out this guy has an inspirational poster of Immortan Joe in his rumpus room
posted by SatanicNightjar at 3:07 PM on March 21
posted by SatanicNightjar at 3:07 PM on March 21
He is so freaking Mormon, it’s ridiculous. Like, yeah, he has officially noped out of it but I feel like every one of his whackadoo things has a direct line back to Mormon culture and religious specifics. Dude could be out here, helping to fix the housing crisis or investing in high speed rail or endowing libraries or lobbying for universal healthcare but of course not. What’s your own eternal spiritual planet next door to your god-dad when you can try really hard to stay stuck in your meat body and obsess over sun damage? Especially when you can be your own god if you just have a catchy enough slogan and a good enough lawyer, without any of that messy transcendence stuff.
posted by Mizu at 3:21 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
posted by Mizu at 3:21 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
I was a big fan of Timothy Leary back in the day. He had a concept of S.M. I.I?. L.E.
Which i think was space migration, intelligence increase, and life extension.
But as I am getting old, and can't stop the old age things, and have seen how it impacted my mom...
Not sure the life extension part works for me. I took a fall on Sunday night. Knocked my myelf out for at least an hour. Don't remember anything For about an hour and a half. Scary as foretold. Got my brain scanned this morning. Of the four things the doc reported:
No brain bleed, Yeah!
Some damage that looks old, yes it probably was.
Something that might be damage, might be no big deal. Ugh.
And something that looks like it will be bad, and only get worse? Still doing my research on that.
He has clearly crossed over the line into crazy nonsense, (I have not yet), but he has enough cash to just keep moving forward...
posted by Windopaene at 3:23 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Which i think was space migration, intelligence increase, and life extension.
But as I am getting old, and can't stop the old age things, and have seen how it impacted my mom...
Not sure the life extension part works for me. I took a fall on Sunday night. Knocked my myelf out for at least an hour. Don't remember anything For about an hour and a half. Scary as foretold. Got my brain scanned this morning. Of the four things the doc reported:
No brain bleed, Yeah!
Some damage that looks old, yes it probably was.
Something that might be damage, might be no big deal. Ugh.
And something that looks like it will be bad, and only get worse? Still doing my research on that.
He has clearly crossed over the line into crazy nonsense, (I have not yet), but he has enough cash to just keep moving forward...
posted by Windopaene at 3:23 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Um, I just posted this to make fun of him (HIS ANTI-AGING SHIT DOESN'T EVEN WORK LOLOLOLOLOL), but ok then.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:30 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:30 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
I UNDERSTAND. BUT EVEN TO MAKE FUN OF HIM, WE MUST ACKNOWLEDGE HIM. AND HOWEVER YOU WANT TO CUT THE METAPHYSICAL CHEESECAKE, ACKNOWLEDGING HIM MAKES HIM A THING WE ACCEPT IN THAT HE BECOMES A thing in the universe AND THE THING ABOUT anything in the universe TO OUR PRIMATE MIND IS THAT PERSISTENCE IS SELF-JUSTIFYING.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 3:34 PM on March 21
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 3:34 PM on March 21
What happened to just ignoring posts you don’t like instead of coming into the comments and yelling about how much you don’t like it?
posted by LizBoBiz at 3:37 PM on March 21 [20 favorites]
posted by LizBoBiz at 3:37 PM on March 21 [20 favorites]
One of my favorite Metafilter hobbies is figuring out which weird little things set Haggis off on any given day.
posted by phunniemee at 3:41 PM on March 21 [6 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 3:41 PM on March 21 [6 favorites]
Sorry to hear you got some worrying medical news, Windopaene. I hope things turn out well!
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:45 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:45 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
I am not a going to the doctor person. I can pretty much worry about any medical news.
But, looking at a more long term approach, yeah, some of these might be a thing. Overall, things are NOT turning out well, but more from a life than from medical. I foresee an appointment with a neurologist upcoming... thank you Ursula.
posted by Windopaene at 3:54 PM on March 21
But, looking at a more long term approach, yeah, some of these might be a thing. Overall, things are NOT turning out well, but more from a life than from medical. I foresee an appointment with a neurologist upcoming... thank you Ursula.
posted by Windopaene at 3:54 PM on March 21
"And the best thing, the very best thing of all, is there's time now -- there's all the time I need and all the time I want. Time, time, time. There's time enough at last."
(Drops glasses. Lenses shatter.)
"That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed --"
Submitted for your approval, from The Twilight Zone.
posted by SPrintF at 3:57 PM on March 21 [8 favorites]
(Drops glasses. Lenses shatter.)
"That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed --"
Submitted for your approval, from The Twilight Zone.
posted by SPrintF at 3:57 PM on March 21 [8 favorites]
"Next week we enlist the considerable literary talents of Charles Beaumont, and invite you to join us in a strange and shocking dream. Our story is called "Perchance to Dream"
posted by clavdivs at 4:09 PM on March 21
posted by clavdivs at 4:09 PM on March 21
Mod note: DeepSeaHaggis, the site custom is to skip past threads you don't like or that you find triggering. If you choose to engage with such a thread, at least be thoughtful and constructive.
Posting comments in all caps that focus on how much you dislike the subject of the is not that. So please avoid the this thread from this point on and remove it from your recent activity. If you do return here and continue as you have, we'll move on to site bans of increasing length if you continue.
No comments have been removed and a link to this note have been MeFiMailed to DeepSeaHaggis
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 4:11 PM on March 21 [7 favorites]
Posting comments in all caps that focus on how much you dislike the subject of the is not that. So please avoid the this thread from this point on and remove it from your recent activity. If you do return here and continue as you have, we'll move on to site bans of increasing length if you continue.
No comments have been removed and a link to this note have been MeFiMailed to DeepSeaHaggis
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 4:11 PM on March 21 [7 favorites]
I always wonder with guys like this, is it that they're super atheist-pilled so they figure there's definitely nothing at the end but a big lights out and it terrifies the shit out of them, or is that they deep down totally believe in God and know for sure they are going straight to hell?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:14 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:14 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]
Does anybody remember Dirk and Sandy? They were MIT affiliated students who popularized the topic of anti-oxidants and life extension in the late 80s early 90s. They made their own cocktails of megavitamins and various neutraceuticals and documented their progress. Unlike the titular jerk of this thread, they had least had the decency to share some of their research data without showing any of their naughty bits.
Their followers would enthusiastically work with compounding pharmacies and labs to mix hyper-anti-oxidants. But at least it was only gritty powders washed down with orange juice, no blood transfusions needed.
Didn't stop them getting cancer later, sadly. But at least they weren't creeps. That I know of.
posted by Bigbootay. Tay! Tay! Blam! Aargh... at 4:24 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Their followers would enthusiastically work with compounding pharmacies and labs to mix hyper-anti-oxidants. But at least it was only gritty powders washed down with orange juice, no blood transfusions needed.
Didn't stop them getting cancer later, sadly. But at least they weren't creeps. That I know of.
posted by Bigbootay. Tay! Tay! Blam! Aargh... at 4:24 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
people would write all that off for great salaries and perks.
Rich person who's doing things that are in violation of various labor laws will still get sued for cash even if they were well paid to hear about those violating things. Some people are delusional about their worth and won't understand their big pay is to humor the perv. Others will see it as a 'fuck you' out the door.
posted by rough ashlar at 4:57 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
Rich person who's doing things that are in violation of various labor laws will still get sued for cash even if they were well paid to hear about those violating things. Some people are delusional about their worth and won't understand their big pay is to humor the perv. Others will see it as a 'fuck you' out the door.
posted by rough ashlar at 4:57 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
→
You mean Durk Pearson and Sandy Shaw? Even my gran lived longer than them, and she subsisted mostly on potatoes and 30 Benson a day.
posted by scruss at 5:02 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
Does anybody remember Dirk and Sandy?
You mean Durk Pearson and Sandy Shaw? Even my gran lived longer than them, and she subsisted mostly on potatoes and 30 Benson a day.
posted by scruss at 5:02 PM on March 21 [9 favorites]
That's right, scruss!
As I recall, antioxidants did not correlate with a healthy looking appearance. Durk looked the way people imagined the MIT students of the day did, before nerds became the new elite. Back in the day they probably would have used him to measure the length of the Mass Ave bridge, 365.25 Durks long rather than Smoots.....
Hey, maybe we could launch a line of antioxidant potato cigarettes? We could name the business after your gran ;)
posted by Bigbootay. Tay! Tay! Blam! Aargh... at 5:16 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
As I recall, antioxidants did not correlate with a healthy looking appearance. Durk looked the way people imagined the MIT students of the day did, before nerds became the new elite. Back in the day they probably would have used him to measure the length of the Mass Ave bridge, 365.25 Durks long rather than Smoots.....
Hey, maybe we could launch a line of antioxidant potato cigarettes? We could name the business after your gran ;)
posted by Bigbootay. Tay! Tay! Blam! Aargh... at 5:16 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
In 2020, he required a date to sign one before the two used acid together … Clearly doesn’t get the concept of “set and setting”. On the other hand, considering that “don’t die” is a central tenet of many religions, at least his is being up front about it.
posted by TedW at 5:57 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 5:57 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
When the rich die last
Like the rabbits running
From a lucky past
Full of shadow cunning
And the world lights up
For the final day
We will all be poor
Having had our say
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:06 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
Like the rabbits running
From a lucky past
Full of shadow cunning
And the world lights up
For the final day
We will all be poor
Having had our say
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:06 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
I remember when he was taking "non-feminizing" doses of estrogen as part of his life-extension thing and all I can think of is when a techbro takes estrogen, it's "bio-hacking" but when I, a transgender woman, do it, it's "an affront to God."
posted by SansPoint at 7:15 PM on March 21 [37 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 7:15 PM on March 21 [37 favorites]
I started reading the article and it said:
… and I’m out. “Audio therapy?” “Hair therapy?” This is obviously a guy who makes RFK Jr. look like the offspring of Madame Curie and Isaac Newton. Geeze, whadda maroon.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 7:34 PM on March 21 [5 favorites]
In a Netflix documentary released in January, Bryan Johnson, a tech entrepreneur turned longevity guru, walked people through his morning routine. After tracking his sleep, he would wake up early to conduct audio therapy and hair therapy, […]
… and I’m out. “Audio therapy?” “Hair therapy?” This is obviously a guy who makes RFK Jr. look like the offspring of Madame Curie and Isaac Newton. Geeze, whadda maroon.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 7:34 PM on March 21 [5 favorites]
Shaw had a lovely voice, though.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 7:44 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 7:44 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
“Hair therapy?”
Is that when your hair lies on a couch and tries to process childhood trauma?
posted by lukemeister at 7:50 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Is that when your hair lies on a couch and tries to process childhood trauma?
posted by lukemeister at 7:50 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
If he weren't so detestable this would be sad, or even tragic.
He worships his own penis and thinks you should too — his penis, that is, not your own if you happen to have one.
posted by jamjam at 8:01 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
He worships his own penis and thinks you should too — his penis, that is, not your own if you happen to have one.
posted by jamjam at 8:01 PM on March 21 [2 favorites]
He worships his own penis and thinks you should too — his penis, that is.
"THE PENIS MIGHTIER" — Celebrity Jeopardy misread category
posted by zaixfeep at 8:07 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
"THE PENIS MIGHTIER" — Celebrity Jeopardy misread category
posted by zaixfeep at 8:07 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Mod note: One comment removed because it was a repost of another comment which the poster thought was deleted, but wasn't.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 8:52 PM on March 21
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 8:52 PM on March 21
Mod note: Another comment removed that was just repost of a previous comment of theirs, evidently in protest of the now deleted comment that was just a repost of another comment that was reproduced seemingly in protest of a comment they thought was deleted but was not.
Knock it off y'all.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 8:58 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Knock it off y'all.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 8:58 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
I remember when he was taking "non-feminizing" doses of estrogen as part of his life-extension thing and all I can think of is when a techbro takes estrogen, it's "bio-hacking" but when I, a transgender woman, do it, it's "an affront to God."
Even lower-hanging fruit is that half of these guys are on enough TRT to boost themselves to +2 SD level for a 20-year-old in their 40s or 50s.
posted by atoxyl at 9:57 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Even lower-hanging fruit is that half of these guys are on enough TRT to boost themselves to +2 SD level for a 20-year-old in their 40s or 50s.
posted by atoxyl at 9:57 PM on March 21 [3 favorites]
Same droob as last time merits same response as last time.
old fool sold his soul for a strap-on
posted by flabdablet at 10:09 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
old fool sold his soul for a strap-on
posted by flabdablet at 10:09 PM on March 21 [1 favorite]
This guy is obviously hideously risible but I've really enjoyed some of the surrounding humour. Like the response to his tweet about no longer injecting his son's blood, My "I am no longer injecting my son's blood" t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt. A recent conversation with his coworker about the charts he's made tracking his son's erections against his own yielded the incredible term "bonergraph generator".
I really feel for his kid in all of this. It's bad enough to have a parent inflicting that level of observation and medical trauma on you, much worse when your dad is also tweeting about both of your boners the whole time. I remember a time when abusing your kids used to be shameful enough that people kept that shit behind closed doors - that was my dad's approach when he was doing much less worse stuff to me, at least - and I'm struggling with the idea that that era was in its own way a golden age that we as a species have the capacity to descend even further beyond.
posted by terretu at 5:18 AM on March 22 [3 favorites]
I really feel for his kid in all of this. It's bad enough to have a parent inflicting that level of observation and medical trauma on you, much worse when your dad is also tweeting about both of your boners the whole time. I remember a time when abusing your kids used to be shameful enough that people kept that shit behind closed doors - that was my dad's approach when he was doing much less worse stuff to me, at least - and I'm struggling with the idea that that era was in its own way a golden age that we as a species have the capacity to descend even further beyond.
posted by terretu at 5:18 AM on March 22 [3 favorites]
Regarding rich people refusing to die:
Remember that movie Nothing But Trouble? They don't make 'em like that anymore. Because it has a concept. Ordinary people stuck in a town run by a very, very old, ridiculously corrupt judge who creatively murders people for minor infractions.
Ever wonder why they made the character ridiculously old? It's because one of the problems with rich and powerful people: even simply waiting for them to die isn't a very good way of getting rid of them, because they live longer. They can afford to. (Assuming they're not like the McDonalds-scoffing Ozempic-refusing possibly-dementia-exacerbatingly-angry Trump.) (Also, Putin's leg twitches occasionally but it's possible that he does it to give people false hope.)
The judge's extreme age - and the film's ending - also elicit another fear. A (hopefully!) far more irrational one.
The fear that he will never die.
posted by BiggerJ at 5:25 AM on March 22 [2 favorites]
Remember that movie Nothing But Trouble? They don't make 'em like that anymore. Because it has a concept. Ordinary people stuck in a town run by a very, very old, ridiculously corrupt judge who creatively murders people for minor infractions.
Ever wonder why they made the character ridiculously old? It's because one of the problems with rich and powerful people: even simply waiting for them to die isn't a very good way of getting rid of them, because they live longer. They can afford to. (Assuming they're not like the McDonalds-scoffing Ozempic-refusing possibly-dementia-exacerbatingly-angry Trump.) (Also, Putin's leg twitches occasionally but it's possible that he does it to give people false hope.)
The judge's extreme age - and the film's ending - also elicit another fear. A (hopefully!) far more irrational one.
The fear that he will never die.
posted by BiggerJ at 5:25 AM on March 22 [2 favorites]
Money’s a helluva drug.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:48 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
posted by Thorzdad at 5:48 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rhnnci0j6I&ab_channel=ScottShafer
A pretty sensible takedown. I'm not sure whether this makes sense, but when I found out how badly he treated his girlfriend, I started wondering about whether there were heavy metals in his foods and supplements. This isn't the same question as whether people are at risk from usual levels of heavy metals.
It turned out there was a good bit of selenite in his chocolate.
As for Pearson and Shaw, it turned out that their non-quantified claims about anti-oxidants were true enough. Too much anti-oxidants, and you're feeding the cancer.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 5:59 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
A pretty sensible takedown. I'm not sure whether this makes sense, but when I found out how badly he treated his girlfriend, I started wondering about whether there were heavy metals in his foods and supplements. This isn't the same question as whether people are at risk from usual levels of heavy metals.
It turned out there was a good bit of selenite in his chocolate.
As for Pearson and Shaw, it turned out that their non-quantified claims about anti-oxidants were true enough. Too much anti-oxidants, and you're feeding the cancer.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 5:59 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
If you choose to engage with such a thread, at least be thoughtful and constructive.
To be fair DSH did offer a reason for not posting about these types of rich narcissists, but I fear that reason was lost in the shouting
posted by ginger.beef at 7:52 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
To be fair DSH did offer a reason for not posting about these types of rich narcissists, but I fear that reason was lost in the shouting
posted by ginger.beef at 7:52 AM on March 22 [1 favorite]
Oops, I meant to say Pearson and Shaw's non-quantified claims about anti-oxidants weren't true enough.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:11 AM on March 22
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:11 AM on March 22
I'm going to be keeping an eye on his 'religion'. We've been having quite a run these past few years with internet-enabled micro-cults. If you feel like breaking your mind, listen to Behind the Bastards recent episodes about the Zizians. And then imagine what could have happened if those people were rich and had access to the mainstream media.
posted by LindsayIrene at 10:01 AM on March 22
posted by LindsayIrene at 10:01 AM on March 22
A recent conversation with his coworker about the charts he's made tracking his son's erections against his own yielded the incredible term "bonergraph generator".
Oh my God, Phallomancy!
Shades of Gravity's Rainbow! Do we think there's any chance at all he's read it?
posted by jamjam at 10:10 AM on March 22 [2 favorites]
Oh my God, Phallomancy!
Shades of Gravity's Rainbow! Do we think there's any chance at all he's read it?
posted by jamjam at 10:10 AM on March 22 [2 favorites]
this is detestable and sad and tragic. I feel for the children of these narcissistic billionaire freaks. It's not their fault but they are likely to grow up pretty fucking weird. how humiliating that dad is sharing his minor child's private bodily info on the web. how tragic that the son of that Indian billionaire got in a submarine for a trip he was terrified of, to die in a horrific incident.
Bucky Fuller, who was nearly the antithesis of these types, made his life's work at Livingry (as opposed to weaponry). he truly saw that working for the good of all was a better way than working solely for his own good. as said above, these super rich could do SO.MUCH.GOOD. (oops sorry for all caps, don't at me phunniemee :D )
living forever really misses the point. quality over quantity. I don't want to live forever (even if I did get to read all the books) but I would like to live well, to eat good food, to be safe. I would also like others to have those same privileges. I would like that more than I would like to own 10 mega yachts.
posted by supermedusa at 10:15 AM on March 22 [3 favorites]
Bucky Fuller, who was nearly the antithesis of these types, made his life's work at Livingry (as opposed to weaponry). he truly saw that working for the good of all was a better way than working solely for his own good. as said above, these super rich could do SO.MUCH.GOOD. (oops sorry for all caps, don't at me phunniemee :D )
living forever really misses the point. quality over quantity. I don't want to live forever (even if I did get to read all the books) but I would like to live well, to eat good food, to be safe. I would also like others to have those same privileges. I would like that more than I would like to own 10 mega yachts.
posted by supermedusa at 10:15 AM on March 22 [3 favorites]
For all the manipulation Johnson does to try and stave off the inevitable, all the tracking and dieting and weird penis things, just all the money blown and all the sickening horribleness, he claims/brags that he's shaved a {measly} 5.1 years off of his life? My God. That's nothing. How can Johnson think this investment, if one wants to call it that, is worth it? The whole thing scrambles my mind. Sheesh.
posted by but no cigar at 1:44 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]
posted by but no cigar at 1:44 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]
I would like to live well, to eat good food, to be safe. I would also like others to have those same privileges. I would like that more than I would like to own 10 mega yachts.
Same same. Then again, neither you nor I have Billionaire Personality Disorder. Which is not yet in the DSM, but desperately needs to be.
I'd suggest a desire to own one mega yacht as a diagnostic indicator.
posted by flabdablet at 5:55 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]
Same same. Then again, neither you nor I have Billionaire Personality Disorder. Which is not yet in the DSM, but desperately needs to be.
I'd suggest a desire to own one mega yacht as a diagnostic indicator.
posted by flabdablet at 5:55 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]
I watched the Netflix doc, and this all started because of his depression. Earlier in his life he was very depressed and suicidal, and focusing on this got him away from that. So it’s not so much BDS (though the religion part looks like the billionaire disorder is making a showing) but obsession and anxiety with lots of money behind it.
posted by LizBoBiz at 6:34 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]
posted by LizBoBiz at 6:34 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]
LizBoBiz: Hm. This makes me think he might have another, more deeply set issue than clinical depression, especially factoring in the estrogen thing...
posted by SansPoint at 6:47 PM on March 22
posted by SansPoint at 6:47 PM on March 22
Several years ago I read that this weirdo had "taken steps to ensure that his rectum performs like a teenager’s" and tbh, I wondered what and how much he thinks about teenage rectums.
posted by meehawl at 9:35 AM on March 23
posted by meehawl at 9:35 AM on March 23
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posted by robotmachine at 1:48 PM on March 21 [4 favorites]