R.I.P. Squirrel 2002-2002

November 8, 2002 9:48 PM

R.I.P. Squirrel 2002-2002 He lived a short, productive life. Some guy finally shot and killed him to end his reign of terror over Chesire. I'm sure that with a good taxidermist, he will be stuffed and live on in the hearts of all of England. He also spawned an unintentionally funny caption to a picture: "A squirrel, similar to the one shown in this file photo, is spreading terror in a Cheshire town where it keeps attacking people"

I dub thee "Chester the Crazy Squirrel". May he live his afterlife like he lived his life, by attacking people at random.
posted by RobbieFal (10 comments total)

"Its a shame he went nuts, but I couldn't let this little beggar hold the town to ransom"
posted by n o i s e s at 10:53 PM on November 8, 2002

thanks robbie, certainly gave me a chuckle.
posted by n o i s e s at 10:54 PM on November 8, 2002

I'm sorry to hear they got 'im. I imagine the misunderstood little fellow was trying to lead some kind of revolution.

"The world belongs to us, too--let's take it back from the two-leggers while there's still a few trees left! Onward!"

But he was let down by his compatriots--much like the scene in Braveheart in which William Wallace is betrayed by Robert the Bruce. And so he was left to fight a one-man war, jumping alone from the leafy cover to bite the occasional passerby on the face.

Can you really blame him? I can't. Heck, I empathize with the bugger.

God rest ye, Mr Squirrel!

(To be fair to all, I refer to it as 'he' only because that is the gender given in the article. With a squirrel, it's not tough to tell, after a cursory glance.)
posted by Shane at 10:55 PM on November 8, 2002

some revolution, shane: flesh-eating squirrel stalks streets of knutsford from thursday's guardian
posted by n o i s e s at 12:00 AM on November 9, 2002

"Be Eco-Friendly: Bite a land developer on the face today."
(Okay, maybe the 2-yr-old was over the top.)

But it's not the first time this type of thing has happened. People would do well to respect the wee wild things.
(TIM: "He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about... look at the bones!")
posted by Shane at 8:57 AM on November 9, 2002

From the article: Animal experts say it is very unusual for squirrels to behave in such an aggressive way toward humans.

Maybe certain types of squirrels, I'll give them that. But more than likely this was a (possibly rabid) grey squirrel or sciurus carolinensis, the same species that terrorizes campuses throughout the U.S. Apparently, it is driving out it's European cousin, the red squirrel (sciurus vulgaris) due to its size, aggression, immunity to disease, etc.

I suggest a method of homeland defense. The signs of a major squirrel attack are already upon us. One day it'll be too late.
posted by samsara at 9:32 AM on November 9, 2002

I thought all squirrel posts were relegated to that other site.
posted by HTuttle at 1:47 PM on November 9, 2002

Guess we broke the server my picture of the marauding Mr Squirrel (top of page) is on. This annoys my neurotic self, so here's another.

posted by Shane at 8:56 PM on November 9, 2002

This reminds me of Nike's angry chicken commercial. I can't stop laughing.
posted by mmoncur at 6:39 AM on November 10, 2002

...Nike's angry chicken commercial.

Thanks for that, mmoncur! Absolute classic. "When a chicken in this neighborhood gets angry it will chase you down." Wow, bad neighborhood...
posted by Shane at 5:48 PM on November 10, 2002