Asshats UNITE!

May 26, 2003 6:15 PM

Asshat, the best word ever. Of course, a post about asshats couldn't be complete without an example.
posted by thebabelfish (54 comments total)

One of a large variety of silly word concatenations (many of which begin with 'ass') to come out of the Something Awful forums a long, long, long, long time ago and is starting to become annoying, in that all-your-basey kind of way, I reckon.

Four years ago, my aussie co-workers and I were talking about refusing to wear the asshat (or the sphincter chapeau or bum beret), meaning that next logical step after merely kissing the boss's butt. More of a paleologism than a neologism.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:21 PM on May 26, 2003

Older sources for the etymology are of course welcome...I may be wrong about the SA forums thing.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:22 PM on May 26, 2003

I don't care where it came from, it's my second-favorite word.

The first, of course, is fuckwit.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:24 PM on May 26, 2003

Ever heard of the saying, "uglier than a hat full of assholes"? I always thought that was the connection.

ps: I also have a soft spot for "fucktard." Makes me laff.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:33 PM on May 26, 2003

I saw this episode of South Park the other week and I assumed it that's where it came from. If it really was popularized by the SA forum goons, I wouldn't be surprised if South Park was the inspiration.
posted by zztzed at 6:41 PM on May 26, 2003

Of course, a comment about asshats wouldn't be complete without an example.

But on a more serious note, every time I've heard the term "asshat" in the last few months I think of the movie "City Slicker" where there is a reference to "I like your ass and want to wear it as a hat." Something like that.
posted by davidmsc at 6:46 PM on May 26, 2003

Uh, "fuckwit" is old as the hills, probably the first swear word I ever learned. It kind of surprises me that swearing is so region-specific.

Do people actually say "asshat"?
posted by dydecker at 6:52 PM on May 26, 2003

Nice one davidmsc. ; ) (I forget that was there; now I don't even remember who took it or why it is there. I was definately in my bio class though.)

dydecker: I say asshat occasionally, of course, that isn't really saying much...
posted by thebabelfish at 6:53 PM on May 26, 2003

Try the forums on TWOP. You can't get away from the word. (especially on the "Bachelor" threads, but I digress.)
posted by konolia at 6:57 PM on May 26, 2003

“Clownshoes” is another one I first picked up from the 'net.

Instead of calling someone a “clown,” call them “clownshoes” instead.

Pure genius.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:58 PM on May 26, 2003

One of a large variety of silly word concatenations...to come out of the Something Awful forums a long, long, long, long time ago and is starting to become annoying, in that all-your-basey kind of way, I reckon.

You mean: "Aces! Another fucking SA Forums word concatenation!"

Do people actually say "asshat"?

I've heard it.
posted by oaf at 7:11 PM on May 26, 2003

[img-macro]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:25 PM on May 26, 2003

Why couldn't the trendy insult of the month be "Dickwad"?
posted by Eekacat at 7:55 PM on May 26, 2003

I like 'birthday party magician'. Even worse than a clown.
posted by imaswinger at 8:13 PM on May 26, 2003

I might be wrong, but I could have sworn I heard it in the movie Office Space...I don't know (or believe) this was the first use of it, but that was almost 4 years ago.
posted by oneiros at 8:26 PM on May 26, 2003

Where does "clown shoes" actually come from? I heard it first in Jay & Silent Bob strikes Back, but did the word originate with that movie or was it in general circulation before then? It's ... actually pretty damn weird, as insults go.
posted by kaemaril at 8:31 PM on May 26, 2003

I could have sworn I heard it in the movie Office Space

Once a redirector to Metafilter, notalentassclown.org is up for grabs again!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:46 PM on May 26, 2003

I prefer the word Slutarded over Asshat, but of course it means something completely different. And, to my knowledge, it comes from the Toronto band of the same name (scroll down a bit).
posted by dobbs at 9:03 PM on May 26, 2003

This is spooky. I swear that just this morning I had a dream where we were arguing. I had a book and made some absurd point about the etymology of 'asshat'. Then thomasjwise revealed the true earliest known use of the word.
posted by crunchburger at 9:03 PM on May 26, 2003

Another one that I've only heard on the 'net, and wot makes me laff:

"Left Wing Howler Monkey."

I used to live near a zoo that had howler monkeys. A troop of howler monkeys in full voice is something to behold. Maybe I find the term funnier than most?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 9:08 PM on May 26, 2003

some good ones that don't get enough attention:

lackwit.

dickweed.

wiseacre (or, alternately, weisenheimer).
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 9:15 PM on May 26, 2003

Used in context, about the scary singer, Corporal Lance Gracin:

"Ah, the AssHat's fashion sense is precious. I think he had every freaking medallion Paula Abdul has ever given him stitched to his leather necklace. It looked . . .well, assy."

See: www.televisionwithoutpity.com
posted by wpeyton at 9:17 PM on May 26, 2003

I like "cunt features". Though it's too rude for everyday use it is fairly evocative. For a similar insult "uglier than a bashed clam" is useful...
posted by Onanist at 10:01 PM on May 26, 2003

I agree with Stavros. Asshat, fuckwit et al. are all over the place. Perhaps the Mefi crowd can come up with a new insulting web meme. Snarlhole, Fuchbusk, Pancakeheimer. We can change the world!

I don't talk about clowns. They are scary.
posted by jabo at 10:20 PM on May 26, 2003

dammit, uncanny hengeman, and here I thought I was a genius and had actually invented "fucktard" -- skillfully combining the everpopular "fuck" prefix with the rakishly anti-PC "tard" suffix to produce a gem of modern etymological heroics that could compete with other such classics as "smacktard" and "asshat"

now, see, if I were Jeff Bezos, you'd be in trouble right now...
posted by badzen at 10:31 PM on May 26, 2003

Episode 212 was first broadcast September 23, 1998, but the first Google Groups reference using "asshat" is May 1998. Something Awful didn't really exist before 1999. I give the nod to indigenous origin, and kudos to Scott and Trey for an ear close to the ground.

The US release date of Office Space was February 1999, however, and "no talent ass clown" doesn't show up until December (the term ass-clown itself seems to have sprung up by 1997 or so).

fucktard has no history prior to 1995. fuckwit goes back at least to 1989.
posted by dhartung at 10:41 PM on May 26, 2003 [2 favorites]

“Shitheels” is another personal favorite. But I must confess I picked that one up pre-internet days.

I bet ya I can guess the etymology, too...

Back in the day when ya often had to shit outdoors, or at least squatting on flat ground. Think of the fools who couldn't get it right - and ended up with shit on the heels of their boots!

Just a theory.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:46 PM on May 26, 2003

I learned my favourite expression from a kindergarten kid. I was replacement-teaching at the time, and we were doing some sort of crafts project. He made a mistake and said in a solid voice, "Oh, POOPSTAINS."

I nearly hurt myself trying not to laugh.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:20 PM on May 26, 2003

similar to fucktard is the more literal fuckstick:
"that bartender, what a gdam fuckstick, I'll kick his ass..."
posted by john m at 11:28 PM on May 26, 2003

Of course, a comment about asshats wouldn't be complete without an example.
posted by tss at 11:38 PM on May 26, 2003

I was always under the impression that "asshat" was a stunted derivative of the phrase "to wear one's ass for a hat".

"Boy, if you don't take back what you said about Showgirls, I'm gonna make you wear your ass for a hat!"

Thus, the "asshat" proper would be one's own ass on one's head, put there by an aggressor - making the personal "asshat" both a jerk of the highest order, and the "bitch" of the person declaring one as such.

Others, disagree.
posted by majcher at 12:11 AM on May 27, 2003

anyone ever hear of "shitehawk"? one of my favourites anyhow.
posted by kev23f at 2:22 AM on May 27, 2003

Fartknocker works for me.
posted by yoga at 5:31 AM on May 27, 2003

Perhaps the Mefi crowd can come up with a new insulting web meme.

You blasphemous shitfuck!
posted by furiousthought at 7:54 AM on May 27, 2003

Pointy-headed cretin.
posted by bwg at 7:56 AM on May 27, 2003

cocktoaster

or

maroon
posted by chris0495 at 9:53 AM on May 27, 2003

What, no fucknozzle? Some folks at Plastic seem to think that MAYORBOB coined it, but a cursory googling determined that it first appeared on USENET in 1993.
posted by CoFenchurch at 10:34 AM on May 27, 2003

tss wins.
posted by davidmsc at 10:35 AM on May 27, 2003

Shitmitten.
posted by homunculus at 12:07 PM on May 27, 2003

I, for one, prefer the classics.
posted by briank at 12:43 PM on May 27, 2003

I always liked Ass Wipe as a general purpose insult.
posted by razzuli at 12:55 PM on May 27, 2003

Leg humper.

Trust me, it's the wave of the future.
posted by NortonDC at 1:13 PM on May 27, 2003

Or you could always Learn to Swear in 106 Languages....
posted by bwg at 4:20 PM on May 27, 2003

Penis ears.

My friend's brother coined it in a moment of road rage.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:17 PM on May 27, 2003

fuckbiscuit

Cute, and profane.
posted by pudders at 11:16 PM on May 27, 2003

Yeah, Shitehawk is a personal fave. As in :

"You're a shitehawk and you'll always be a shitehawk."
posted by hippyboy at 4:16 AM on May 28, 2003

Pigfucker?

Gimboid? (after Red Dwarf...)
posted by GrahamVM at 7:12 AM on May 28, 2003

Dude, don't say pigfucker in front of Jesus.
posted by briank at 7:59 AM on May 28, 2003

no one's said "Cockfarmer" on this thread yet.
posted by techgnollogic at 1:18 PM on May 28, 2003

A variant of 'shitehawk' is shithook. Try it on your buddies. Man, you are such a shithook. Has a nice heft to it.
posted by tellio at 4:21 PM on May 28, 2003

"Fucknugget" has always worked for me.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:44 PM on May 28, 2003

Endagered favourite - Fuckflaps - only 32 results on Google
posted by Joeforking at 11:17 AM on May 31, 2003

A couple nights ago I dreamed that "asshat" was the Japanese word for a convenience store.
posted by ramakrishna at 2:13 PM on June 6, 2003

fuckwit goes back at least to 1989.

according to a cute little dicktionary I own ("The F Word", ed. J. Sheidlower), fuckwit dates to 1968, in written usage - the cite is A. Buzo, Plays, 89: Well ta-ta for now, fuckwit. Chiefly Brit /Aussie though.
posted by mdn at 3:39 PM on June 6, 2003