Bye Bye, Miss American Pie

June 30, 2003 1:05 PM

"American Pie [the song] tells about the last decisive struggle between, Christian America and all the heathen armies of the world, who will be gathered on America's doorstep and according to the Bible, will invade America." "Could it be that "JESUS ACTUALLY FORETOLD THE ADVENT OF THE INTERNET?" [Warning: cheesy MIDI music background]
posted by kirkaracha (21 comments total)

Counter-point and annotated lyrics.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:06 PM on June 30, 2003

American Pie is coming down fast. Meet me at the Spahn Ranch for details.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:08 PM on June 30, 2003

So every FPP has to have something to do with religion now? Is this just for today, or henceforward?
posted by soyjoy at 1:10 PM on June 30, 2003

**hot-wires chevy**

Hey, which way to the levee, man??
posted by jonmc at 1:15 PM on June 30, 2003

Spahn Ranch. Yes. I'll be under the sink.
posted by quonsar at 1:16 PM on June 30, 2003

As much as I love conspiracy theories and nutjobs who see significance in everything, this one is just too amateurish. It's not even "Bible Code"-quality nonsense.
posted by vraxoin at 1:18 PM on June 30, 2003

I'm just worried about that old guy directing traffic in the thunderstorm. Oh, wait, never mind....
posted by LinusMines at 1:18 PM on June 30, 2003

America's future is deception, war, famine, and death. American Pie foretells nuclear terrorism, phony peace talks, disarmament, and America's future invasion, which will surely come.

I do have to wonder how exhausting the fundamentalist nutbar Christian mindset becomes after a while. When you begin seeing "nuclear war as inevitable Biblical prophecy" information in a Don McLean song, your reality grid may need some cleaning. Seriously, can one find the Devil's works everywhere? Doesn't one get a break from thinking about Armageddon?

And why the hell do I have the image of Agent Smith plugging his hand into someone when I think of how someone's mind has been taken over by paranoiac thinking?
posted by solistrato at 1:21 PM on June 30, 2003

I always thought the song was about the Beatles....or was it Dylan?
posted by Dr_Octavius at 1:37 PM on June 30, 2003

Buddy Holly, wasn't it?
posted by ashbury at 1:42 PM on June 30, 2003

I do have to wonder how exhausting the fundamentalist nutbar Christian mindset becomes after a while.

That's how I feel about some of the far left that dig in around here.
posted by Witty at 1:57 PM on June 30, 2003

Don't know if you're being snarky, Witty (o, atrocious puns and malapropisms), but fundamentalism of any stripe turns off the brain. Religion, politics, even creepy fanboyism.

The fundamentalist Christian mindset is an inherently paranoid one, wherein the Devil lurks in every shadow and your only hope is salvation in the healing word of Jesus, which somehow involves hating anything to do with the human body and praying for the world to end. It has to take a lot of work on the part of the nervous system to constantly rearrange reality to fit that schema. No less than any other person who gives themselves fully over to some loose construct of "irrational" ideas. The only difference is that a) fundamentalist Christians appear to be running the executive branch of the United States Government, and b) they want the world to end right now so they can ascend to Heaven, which is not really a Good Thing.

So if I bag on the Bible Belt, it's my natural reaction to an entrenched mindset, only doubly so because of the potential consequences.
posted by solistrato at 2:24 PM on June 30, 2003

Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper, I thought.
But hey, you can read whatever you like into any lyrics, crazy people do it all the time.
posted by me3dia at 2:25 PM on June 30, 2003

Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper, I thought.
As far as I've ever been told, you are right, and American Pie is the name of the plane they (or at least one of them) died on, hence "the day the music died" (of course, all of your are old geezers so ya'll should know this!)
posted by jmd82 at 2:33 PM on June 30, 2003

Is this just for today, or henceforward?

For ever and ever, amen.
posted by eddydamascene at 3:07 PM on June 30, 2003

solistrato,

You've definitely had Christianity ruined for you if you think it's supposed to be about paranoia and Jesus As Dr. No. It's meant to be about finding some meaning and solace in a world that offers damn little of either -- not being a pod-person Zombie For Christ or an intolerable control freak. Some of my brothers and sisters in Christ just leave me shaking my head, too.

Anyway, to get hastily back on topic...When I was a kid, I used to think that "drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry" had something to do with embankments and lack of rain. Much later I realized that McLean was probably describing a formal reception that eschewed serving alcohol.
posted by alumshubby at 4:03 PM on June 30, 2003

Could it be that "JESUS ACTUALLY FORETOLD THE ADVENT OF THE INTERNET?

well, he invented al gore, didn't he?
posted by quonsar at 4:32 PM on June 30, 2003

kirkaracha's annotated lyrics link is actually pretty interesting. The main post is pretty much nonsense though (eg, who refers to America as "miss america"? that's the title of a pageant winner, not the country...)
posted by mdn at 7:36 PM on July 1, 2003

In the Greek language the word for the Internet is "DIADIKTION," and literally means GOD'S NET.

Sigh... Why is it that wacko freaks like this are the most vocal, the most likely to attract attention, and thus frequently are held up as representatives of "Christianity" and "Christian ideals"? It makes me ill.

Just for the record folks, we aren't all like that.
posted by Watsonne at 8:44 PM on July 1, 2003

uncle bill told me y'all were being mind controlled by venusians; centipedes gonna burst out of your foreheads one day, just you wait.
posted by juv3nal at 9:03 PM on July 1, 2003

No less than any other person who gives themselves fully over to some loose construct of "irrational" ideas. The only difference is that a) fundamentalist Christians appear to be running the executive branch of the United States Government, and b) they want the world to end right now so they can ascend to Heaven, which is not really a Good Thing.

If you would, could you explain why fundamentalist (whatever that means to you) Christianity is irrational? Given that you say the nervous system must work hard to fit into the 'schema,' why does it have to work hard and why only in this? Is this your opinion or do you "know" that fundamentalist Christianity is irrational?

And if you really believe a) that the government is run by fundamentalists then you've either got b) a strange and lax concept of fundamentalism, or you've got in your head a stereotype about Christianity and you're unwilling to let it go and investigate the truth, because straw men are easy to deal with.
posted by alethe at 10:57 PM on July 1, 2003