Heinz hate America.

July 7, 2004 1:17 PM

You don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?
posted by Evstar (35 comments total)

Damn good on freedom fries!
posted by hama7 at 1:21 PM on July 7, 2004

Personally, I'm surprised they didn't opt for the alternate spelling (catsup) to differentiate themselves from those bush-bashing commie lollygaggers at Heinz.
posted by Evstar at 1:21 PM on July 7, 2004

Mmm good!
posted by hama7 at 1:25 PM on July 7, 2004

this sort of thing is downright psychotic
posted by t r a c y at 1:29 PM on July 7, 2004

I was thinking they'd instead be pushing mustard, but the biggest seller in america is French's Mustard.

OH MY GOD. FIRST THE DINNER TABLE THEN THE WORLD! THE LIBERALS ARE TAKING OVER!
posted by mathowie at 1:31 PM on July 7, 2004

The Heinz family's interests in the Heinz company amount to less than 4 percent (The Hill).
posted by eddydamascene at 1:32 PM on July 7, 2004

Because any true connoisseur knows that Heinz is the best ketchup in the world. Duh.

Anyway, the late Senator John Heinz was a Republican.
posted by mookieproof at 1:35 PM on July 7, 2004

W Ketchup comes in one flavor: American.

The mere existence of this fine reactionary product will be enough to send me into convulsions of laughter for the next few days.

Thank you, RNC. Thank you, President Reagan (seems he's a sponsor). Thank you Jesus. Thank you, Lee Greenwood. Thank you, Evstar.

And God Help America.
posted by chicobangs at 1:58 PM on July 7, 2004

I love it.

Choose Heinz and you're supporting Teresa and her husband’s Gulfstream Jet...

'Cause of course republicans take the bus...
posted by jalexei at 2:02 PM on July 7, 2004

And this might shock one or two of you, but because Kerry married a Heinz, it automatically means that the Heinz corporation itself immediately crawls into the Dems' bed with the two of them.
posted by chicobangs at 2:02 PM on July 7, 2004

Doesn't Heinz as a company give lots and lots of money to the GOP?
posted by xmutex at 2:02 PM on July 7, 2004

I love the implicit assumption that the Democrats are anti-American. Like it's been a Democrat administration that has ruined America's reputation in the world.
posted by salmacis at 2:10 PM on July 7, 2004

HJ Heinz Co gave $26,885 to political causes so far in 2004, 15% to democrats and 85% to republicans (source)

For the math impared, that's $22,852.25 to the GOP and $4,032.75 to the Dems.
posted by revgeorge at 2:26 PM on July 7, 2004

July 7, 2004, 15:17 CST: American political discourse crosses the line into self-parody.
posted by Johnny Assay at 2:36 PM on July 7, 2004

sweet, i'd order a case if only it weren't full of HFCS (as is all ketchup alas...)
posted by jacobsee at 2:47 PM on July 7, 2004

You don't support Republicans, why should your taxes?
posted by clevershark at 2:48 PM on July 7, 2004

I would order a bottle but I have no immediate use for 4 bottles of ketchup, plus most of the foods that require ketchup already come with ketchup in packets.
posted by gyc at 2:55 PM on July 7, 2004

Ketchup is the lowest of condiments anyway.
posted by jonmc at 3:45 PM on July 7, 2004

Heinz Ketchup hot and spicy is really good on... ahem... polish suasages.
posted by Keyser Soze at 3:57 PM on July 7, 2004

No, mustard is good on polish sausage, and sauerkraut. and blue cheese dressing is great of fries, and Heinz 57 is great on burgers.

We don't need ketchup, people. Subvert the condiment hegemony!
posted by jonmc at 4:13 PM on July 7, 2004

> I'm surprised they didn't opt for the alternate spelling (catsup)

I am too. Everyone I know who went to Choate and Yale (or St. Paul's and Harvard) spells it "catsup." Though it seldom appears on their food...
posted by jfuller at 4:24 PM on July 7, 2004

This is fantastic. I love America.
posted by cbrody at 4:35 PM on July 7, 2004

As we learned during the Reagan years, catsup is really all you need in your diet as far as vegtables go. Eat anything more and you're already being un-American in my book, you God-damned carrot eaters.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:11 PM on July 7, 2004

Aie! Les experts tomates!
posted by Dick Paris at 5:28 PM on July 7, 2004

Now they're pushing condiments? What happened to abstinence?
posted by NortonDC at 5:30 PM on July 7, 2004

Ketchup is the lowest of condiments anyway.

seconded (by this guy at least). maybe not the lowest, but down there. good for fries/chips, but that's about it for me.

Sriracha is an excellent substitute, with a nice mild spice.

there are ketchups without HFCS. i tried this one last weekend. not even that expensive (but i have a good store).

you can probably find lots more at Ketchup World.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:31 PM on July 7, 2004

Hey! Why all the hostility towards ketchup? Its very purpose is to be mild and unobjectionable - even (and perhaps especially) for those of us who consider the combination of "sriracha" and "mild" to be a particularly unfunny practical joke. You all could probably use some more of ketchup's natural mellowing agents.
posted by yami_mcmoots at 7:38 PM on July 7, 2004

W Ketchup comes in one flavor: American.

So is it made with real americans then?
posted by inpHilltr8r at 7:39 PM on July 7, 2004

Buy Americans!
posted by planetkyoto at 7:56 PM on July 7, 2004

I checked; seems they outlawed buying Americans in the 1860's, actually. (Under a Republican President, if memory serves. But hey, it was a different time.)

I have heard that puréed American paste is great on scrambled eggs.
posted by chicobangs at 9:48 PM on July 7, 2004

Joey Michaels: Yes, I was surprised to see they hadn't arbitrarily thrown a load of mashed-up cow in there just to make sure it wasn't suitable for vegans.
posted by ed\26h at 1:27 AM on July 8, 2004

chichobangs I have heard that puréed American paste is great on scrambled eggs.

It's probably the corn sugar content. :)
posted by aeschenkarnos at 2:06 AM on July 8, 2004

I particularly appreciate the tribute to Reagan, who both classified ketchup as a vegetable, and ended his life as one.
posted by riviera at 2:06 AM on July 8, 2004

ed/26h: Well, that pretty much made me laugh up water through my nose.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:21 AM on July 8, 2004

thnks for reminder to stock up on heinz :) kerry edwards 2004 for a better tomorrow
posted by specialk420 at 10:22 PM on July 8, 2004