Former GOP Sen. Hecht owes life to Democratic candidate Kerry

August 11, 2004 12:59 PM

Former GOP Sen. Hecht owes life to Democratic candidate Kerry "Former U.S. Sen. Chic Hecht of Nevada is a staunch Republican, but he thanks his lucky stars for Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts. On July 12, 1988, Hecht was attending a weekly Republican luncheon when a piece of apple lodged firmly in his throat." via Eschaton (Atrios)
posted by Postroad (30 comments total)

Well, now I'll be looking for the Apple Orchard Workers for Truth ad.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:02 PM on August 11, 2004

OK. So, perhaps, in his second term, Bush will appoint Kerry Secretary of Health. Yeah.
posted by ParisParamus at 1:04 PM on August 11, 2004

Not blaming the victim or anything, but man is it ever stupid to go off and be alone while you're choking.
posted by PrinceValium at 1:11 PM on August 11, 2004

There are so many ways to joke on this without snarking on the election's outcome, Paris. Don't spoil the party.
posted by mikeh at 1:12 PM on August 11, 2004

Do we really need a Democratic candidate who's quite so soft on Republicants?

Why is there a link to "Argument against Homosexual Conduct Clear, well-informed & scholarly" in the Google ads?
posted by stonerose at 1:15 PM on August 11, 2004

Good thing he didn't sit dumbstruck for 7 minutes while he choked to death.
posted by stbalbach at 1:19 PM on August 11, 2004

Why is there a link to "Argument against Homosexual Conduct Clear, well-informed & scholarly" in the Google ads?

John came around the corner and found Chic waiting for him. "What are you doing out here Chic? I thought you'd be at the party" "I'm 'choking' John, and I need your help" John smiled a knowing smile as he positioned himself behind Chich, wrapped his strong presidential arms around Chih's sentorian torso and began to squeeze.
posted by Capn at 1:20 PM on August 11, 2004

I also think it's hilarious that you can, wait for the shock here, like someone as a human being, but still not vote for them. It's like when you're friends with your coworkers, but you know you'd do things differently in their places. But sometimes, only one of you gets the promotion.

Congress is pretty low-key, with discussions and testimony and the like. Not like the yelling heads of the television.
posted by mikeh at 1:26 PM on August 11, 2004

OK. So, perhaps, in his second term, Bush will appoint Kerry Secretary of Health. Yeah.

Are you suggesting that Bush still hasn't learned to chew his pretzels before swallowing?
posted by lasm at 1:36 PM on August 11, 2004

Maybe Kerry did save his life, but he still stole his website from MSN.
posted by loquax at 1:38 PM on August 11, 2004

Ann Coulter's reaction:

"The turncoat Hecht deserved to die like a dog tied to a post in the Mojave Desert. That bastard Kerry (ptui -- Coulter spat) merely prolonged his worthless existence which we will inevitably snuff out with our righteous vengeance."
posted by briank at 1:50 PM on August 11, 2004

"Not blaming the victim or anything, but man is it ever stupid to go off and be alone while you're choking."

That is actually a typical reaction. People think they will clear the obstruction shortly and leave the room out of embarrassment. If you see someone leaving the room while coughing and unable to speak, follow them and make sure they are ok.
posted by Manjusri at 1:50 PM on August 11, 2004

Is there anything that Sen. Kerry can't do?
/swoons
posted by luser at 2:09 PM on August 11, 2004

Cheney: some swallow. Some spit it out. GOP just chokes
posted by Postroad at 2:46 PM on August 11, 2004

If you see someone leaving the room while coughing and unable to speak, follow them and make sure they are ok.
And then, when you're sure that they are ok, mock them mercilessly
posted by Outlawyr at 2:49 PM on August 11, 2004

Hey, man, I was there when this happened. Ok, not there, exactly, but I was in the junior-pages' cafeteria, at the time, on the other side of the building, and I can tell you that Kerry's heroics were nothing like his claims have made them out to be.

Kerry knew he'd be running for president, someday, and was just trolling around the Republican luncheon, hoping to be conveniently "available" when someone started coughing a little to hard in the hopes that he'd be able to "rescue" him with a dramatic Heimlich maneuver. Hecht's throat got a little sore, and Kerry jumped all over him. Then Kerry convinced all the witnesses to tell the press what a big hero he was.

- Luncheon Eaters for Truth
posted by deanc at 3:07 PM on August 11, 2004

John Kerry: a breath of fresh air to Republicans and Hamsters!
posted by Peter H at 3:42 PM on August 11, 2004

... but not to Dicks and Bushes.
posted by Peter H at 3:44 PM on August 11, 2004

yeah, just how many lives has Bush saved? The count for Kerry keeps rising.
posted by amberglow at 3:49 PM on August 11, 2004

So first he kills people in Vietnam, now he saves the lives of congressmen! Killer or lifesaver? Which is it, Mr. Flip-Flopper?
posted by nath at 3:59 PM on August 11, 2004

man, if the gop wasn't so gluttonous maybe they could eat like adults and not almost die due to pretzels and apples
posted by ignu at 4:01 PM on August 11, 2004

I wonder if Kerry would give Bush the heimlich if he was choking on another pretzel, say, right before a debate or something?
posted by amberglow at 4:03 PM on August 11, 2004

I think it's wonderful that we're in a political world where dick, flip-flop and bush are so commonly used in conversation, and often in one statement.
posted by Peter H at 4:04 PM on August 11, 2004

but dick and bush are against flip-flopping, because you need to stay hard on the issues!

sorry, sorry....
posted by Peter H at 4:16 PM on August 11, 2004

From the piece:

"Only in America can this happen, where he's working against me to get me defeated and then saves my life," Hecht said.

These sorts of statements continue to astound me. It's a surprise that people put other's lives before politics? Oh, wait... On second thought, it's merely an expression of great appreciation I suppose.

Waits anxiously for Faze's take on this.
posted by juiceCake at 4:24 PM on August 11, 2004

These sorts of statements continue to astound me. It's a surprise that people put other's lives before politics? Oh, wait... On second thought, it's merely an expression of great appreciation I suppose.

Yeah, sort of like in Family Guy when Peter gets his dad a job at the toy factory and his dad stops "to thank the man who gave my life meaning again"... and drops to his knees and prays for Jesus. "Only in America" is sort of a reflexive statement of gratitude to some people, kind of like "Praise God".

(/semantic derail)
posted by nath at 4:41 PM on August 11, 2004

And in his spare time, Kerry knits American flags for orphans.
posted by RavinDave at 5:13 PM on August 11, 2004

...and rushes into burning buildings to rescue pets. : >
posted by amberglow at 5:26 PM on August 11, 2004

This is a genuinely funny thread. Particularly after reading the National Lampoon thread.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:58 PM on August 11, 2004

Contrast to:

[Karla Faye] Please spare my life, I've changed and seen the error of my ways.

[Governor W - in a mocking voice] Please spare my life, I've changed and seen the error of my ways.

[Governor W] Throw the switch and fry that bitch 'cause I'm a compassionate conservative! (or the Easter Bunny, whichever you believe in)
posted by nofundy at 5:41 AM on August 12, 2004