The 8,500 calorie manwich!

September 23, 2004 3:06 PM

I'm studying at Warwick University in the UK, and I had just finished my Computer Science finals (I'm going on to do a PhD in Edinburgh next year). I went out and got drunk, had a nice lie in and bought a couple of new games in town, but I just didn't feel totally liberated.

So I decided to build an enormous f*****g sandwich. (via)
posted by Ufez Jones (71 comments total)

Why am I left thinking that this guy has got to be an amazing wanker to make a web page about him making a big sandwich?
posted by fenriq at 3:19 PM on September 23, 2004

he should have shared it with biffa. : >

(and what fenriq said. maybe a date would have been better?)
posted by amberglow at 3:23 PM on September 23, 2004

I hope he bought Animal Crossing. I know I did.
posted by chrid at 3:26 PM on September 23, 2004

Looks good, except that first layer of burgers, oh, and the second layer.
posted by tomplus2 at 3:27 PM on September 23, 2004

I imagine once he takes a crap after eating this sandwich, he might feel liberated.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:32 PM on September 23, 2004

Another obvious Rove ploy to distract the American electorate from the deteriorating situation in the Sunni Triangle. An 8500-calorie September surprise? No thanks, you Nazis.
posted by digaman at 3:40 PM on September 23, 2004

Thanks for getting us all back on the topic at hand, digaman!

Just how does this enormous sandwich intend to defeat terrorism? And how does this huge sandwich feel about same-sex marriage?
posted by fenriq at 3:43 PM on September 23, 2004

Nothing like placing a totally unrecognizable object next to sandwich to show its scale....

Where do you find this kind of stuff?
posted by ParisParamus at 3:48 PM on September 23, 2004

Suddenly, I'm very hungry
posted by Keith Talent at 3:49 PM on September 23, 2004

strangeleftydoublethink: Well, let's least hope he doesn't make a page about that.

pp: I thought the same thing, the dimensions of a game cube aren't all that familar to me.

Oh, I forgot to be snarky:
Do I need a game cube to know how big this sandwich is? Because I don't have a game cube.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:50 PM on September 23, 2004

I used to make 6-footers at the deli where I worked in high school. We didn't have no fancy web pages or nothin. Just sayin.
posted by scarabic at 3:54 PM on September 23, 2004

Scarabic, but you forget that this guy looks to be in England--they are at least a decade behind in sandwich technology. And obesity.
posted by ParisParamus at 4:02 PM on September 23, 2004

I went out and got drunk
What did he smoke drink?
Not sure how all that food together would taste. By eating the sandwich with a fork he separated out each food dish which would be tasty then. The sandwich's bread was the eatable plate...
posted by thomcatspike at 4:04 PM on September 23, 2004

See also 'El Bocadillo Del Diablo.'
posted by monju_bosatsu at 4:08 PM on September 23, 2004

Well, I always knew that web site space would, eventually become too inexpensive...
posted by ParisParamus at 4:15 PM on September 23, 2004

More inexpensive than free? Since rather a long time ago? Redundant snark, PP.
posted by chrid at 4:19 PM on September 23, 2004

"I Found Some of Your Sandwich" I am going to eat a slice each day. I will also save the rest for breakfast as if I were you. Maybe you will come here and reclaim this piece of your life.

...oddly enough, also an Ufez post
posted by Stoatfarm at 4:19 PM on September 23, 2004

PP, you demonstrate how out of touch you are if you can't recognize a Nintendo Game Cube.

Thomcatspike, what a great site! I think I''ll leave it loaded up during my next visit to the public library.

But isn't there are already some kind of beer called "Bud" or something like that?
posted by fenriq at 4:23 PM on September 23, 2004

I think he'll need some bread to go with that sandwich.
posted by hipnerd at 4:41 PM on September 23, 2004

Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that the guy changes his clothes three times a day?
posted by etoile at 4:43 PM on September 23, 2004

Metafilter Rule #604: No snarking in threads about awesome giant fucking sandwiches.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:44 PM on September 23, 2004

That sandwich fucks giants?!?!
posted by LionIndex at 4:49 PM on September 23, 2004

"Britain is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex."
--Jackie Mason

“Every country possesses, it seems, the sort of cuisine it deserves, which is to say the sort of cuisine it is appreciative enough to want. I used to think that the notoriously bad cooking of the English was an example to the contrary, and that the English cook the way they do because, through sheer technical deficiency, they had not been able to master the art of cooking. I have discovered to my stupefaction that the English cook that way because that is the way they like it."
--Waverly Root (1903-1982)

Sorry British MeFi brothers and sisters. I've had some great meals in London but this sandwich cannot be defended. And come to think of it neither can beans with breakfast (unless one is terribly hungover).
posted by donovan at 4:56 PM on September 23, 2004

Meanwhile, Homer has been eating a giant sandwich for months. He gets sick, even though Marge has warned him dozens of times.

Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: (pause) Yes.
posted by Jikido at 5:02 PM on September 23, 2004

Gotta admit, I didn't know what the thing next to the sandwich was, either.
posted by dobbs at 5:11 PM on September 23, 2004

I wonder if that sandwich can be integrated with the Subway Diet^TM?
posted by Kwantsar at 5:13 PM on September 23, 2004

Man, we never did that when I was at Warwick.
posted by josephtate at 5:16 PM on September 23, 2004

A Game Cube? I thought it was a post-modern modular house... what a letdown.
posted by Krrrlson at 5:23 PM on September 23, 2004

Anyone too lazy to make their own obscenely big sandwich and just head out to Pennsylvania and buy this 9 pound beast.
posted by guyincognito at 5:24 PM on September 23, 2004

That should be can just head out to PA. I suck.
posted by guyincognito at 5:28 PM on September 23, 2004

Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that the guy changes his clothes three times a day?

And he explains it by saying the pictures were taken two hours later as if that makes any sense.

I'll stick with a Fatburger.
posted by euphorb at 5:35 PM on September 23, 2004

Dagwood would be proud.
posted by davidmsc at 5:48 PM on September 23, 2004

I don't feel so fresh after reading this...

Now that I'm in my mid-thirties and rationing my calories, I am depressed by the sheer waste of this sandwich. If I were going to eat 8,500 calories in two days, I'd find something a damn sight tastier than that horrible sandwich!
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 5:56 PM on September 23, 2004

Nothing like placing a totally unrecognizable object next to sandwich to show its scale....
posted by ParisParamus at 3:48 PM PST on September 23

As the link says:

Size comparison of the finished product with our Game cube

It is nice to know that your inability to read or understand extends to EVERYTHING posted on the Blue, not just political threads.
posted by rough ashlar at 6:03 PM on September 23, 2004

It's no fucking wonder children are starving in China.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:06 PM on September 23, 2004

So, we haven't addressed the entire issue of whether the architect of that massive Freudian repast is, to coin a phrase, hot or not.

I'm torn.
posted by digaman at 6:21 PM on September 23, 2004

well. probably still fewer calories than what i take in when i give in to cravings and get myself a bite at taco bell. try their new baja blast mountain dew - ONLY at the bell. *bell sound*
posted by bargle at 6:23 PM on September 23, 2004

It is nice to know that your inability to read or understand extends to EVERYTHING posted on the Blue, not just political threads.

And it's nice to know that the incessant, petty, childish quibbling extends to EVERYTHING posted on the Blue, and not just political threads...
posted by Stauf at 6:50 PM on September 23, 2004

my girlfriend just asked me what the fuck that black box is.

it's a gamecube(tm), you daft cunt!

you can't eat a sandwich with a fork.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:14 PM on September 23, 2004

Was that your reply to your missus, mrgrimm?!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 7:28 PM on September 23, 2004

As the link says:
Size comparison of the finished product with our Game cube.

Yeah, and as Paris said, "Nothing like placing a totally unrecognizable object next to sandwich to show its scale...."

Get it? If I put a Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot next to something to show its scale, only you (and many other people on the thread) have never seen a Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot, it doesn't help a bit if I say "Size comparison of the finished product with our Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot," does it?

But of course reading and understanding someone's perfectly intelligible comments isn't nearly as important as ragging on an easy target.
posted by soyjoy at 7:44 PM on September 23, 2004

Actually, come to think of it, that's a bad example, because crock pots don't vary that much in size, whereas a Game Cube is its own peculiar entity, with no comparable competing products. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to use the phrase "Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot."
posted by soyjoy at 7:47 PM on September 23, 2004

Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpotFilter
posted by amberglow at 7:50 PM on September 23, 2004

I'd hit it.
posted by junkbox at 8:03 PM on September 23, 2004

Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line self-regulating Cockmaster 3000
posted by kenko at 8:05 PM on September 23, 2004

I'm interested in your Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot. Where can I purchace one? Or should I rather lease one?
posted by NewBornHippy at 8:11 PM on September 23, 2004

so, this Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot, it.......












.... slow cooks food?
posted by jazon at 8:38 PM on September 23, 2004

Wash that 8500 calorie sandwich down with a meatshake.
posted by Wet Spot at 8:54 PM on September 23, 2004

My stomach hurts just looking at that sandwich.
posted by SisterHavana at 10:03 PM on September 23, 2004

"It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell's half acre! Baked by Beelzebub! Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chickens force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one eyed mad man! Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow! Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood!"
"I tasted mustard."
"Yeah, dijon mustard."
"Well, how come no bacon?"
"Bacon is extra!"
posted by ruddhist at 10:31 PM on September 23, 2004

Heh, nice one, ruddhist. I love that show.
posted by Asparagirl at 11:13 PM on September 23, 2004

What is this "Game Cube" of which we speak?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 1:43 AM on September 24, 2004

Nice link, guyincognito.

"NO ONE HAS FINISHED IT!!"

The site proudly states. Well, like, no shit Sherlock. Look at the bloody size of those things. Ludicrously big.

Here is a story regarding the same establishment, but more in the photojournalistic style of the main link. (Surely that thing weighs more than 2 pounds? Is that just the weight of the meat? How do you guys measure your burgers in the USA?)
posted by uncanny hengeman at 1:55 AM on September 24, 2004

And there was me thinking this was a self link and filling up with ire.
posted by bonaldi at 2:11 AM on September 24, 2004

haha, my favorite website : girls eating sandwiches
posted by Satapher at 2:32 AM on September 24, 2004

What is a crockpot?

Bloody students. They're all just getting back now.

I have seen this guy around campus. Bloody computer scientists.
posted by biffa at 4:54 AM on September 24, 2004

Yeah, and as Paris said, "Nothing like placing a totally unrecognizable object next to sandwich to show its scale...."

Get it? If I put a Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot next to something to show its scale, only you (and many other people on the thread) have never seen a Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot, it doesn't help a bit if I say "Size comparison of the finished product with our Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 self-regulating crockpot," does it?

But of course reading and understanding someone's perfectly intelligible comments isn't nearly as important as ragging on an easy target.

And yet, with the wonders of the internet you can come up with the size, as someone has document the size.
http://cube.ign.com/articles/083/083749p1.html
Dimensions 4.3"(H) x 5.9"(W) x 6.3"(D)

Get it? You do not need to know the object BY SIGHT, words can be an identifyer. With the words then one can get a size. All you have to do is read.

All the data is there to derive an approx. size for the sandwich.

And in the case of a Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 - nothing like making up stuff. Google suggested I look for the Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crackmaster 3000 instead.
posted by rough ashlar at 5:00 AM on September 24, 2004

Blackadder: Baldrick, go to the kitchen and make me something quick and simple to eat, would you: two slices of bread with something inbetween.
Baldrick: What, like Gerald, Lord Sandwich, had the other day?
Blackadder: Yes - a few rounds of Geralds.
posted by nthdegx at 6:14 AM on September 24, 2004

awesome, thanks ufez
posted by matteo at 6:35 AM on September 24, 2004

And yet, with the wonders of the internet you can come up with the size, as someone has document the size.
http://cube.ign.com/articles/083/083749p1.html
Dimensions 4.3"(H) x 5.9"(W) x 6.3"(D)

Get it? You do not need to know the object BY SIGHT, words can be an identifyer. With the words then one can get a size. All you have to do is read. All the data is there to derive an approx. size for the sandwich.
And in the case of a Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crockmaster 3000 - nothing like making up stuff. Google suggested I look for the Hammacher-Schlemmer top-of-the-line Crackmaster 3000 instead.

This is funny, funny stuff. I think soyjoy was just kinda, you know, making a point. I love that someone actually went and looked it up =D
posted by Stauf at 6:52 AM on September 24, 2004

How about a normal sandwich as a reference? Us over-35 crowd don't know no Game Cube. Or, for us over-35 crowdees, an LP record? Or a floppy disk.
posted by ParisParamus at 7:15 AM on September 24, 2004

rouch ashlar, the point of visual size comparison is to give you an immediate sense of the scale. If the guy wanted to give measurements, he could have just provided measurements.
posted by mdn at 7:17 AM on September 24, 2004

And yet, with the wonders of the internet you can come up with the size, as someone has document the size.
http://cube.ign.com/articles/083/083749p1.html
Dimensions 4.3"(H) x 5.9"(W) x 6.3"(D)

I am so disappointed. I thought the Game Cube was actually a cube.
posted by grateful at 7:21 AM on September 24, 2004

Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that the guy changes his clothes three times a day?

And he explains it by saying the pictures were taken two hours later as if that makes any sense.

Occum's razor, people. The simplest explanation is that HE WAS LYING about the clothes changes and actually ate this thing over a longer period of time than two days.

(so, ew.)
posted by norm at 7:40 AM on September 24, 2004

Forget using the wonders of the Internet to determine the size of a Game Cube and thus, the size of the big f*****ing sandwich. It's much easier to just look at the half-dozen or so pictures on that page of the guy standing next to the sandwich and/or placing his hand directly on or beside the sandwich and frickin' figure it out using the wonders of the human brain. Sheesh :-)
posted by melimelo at 12:38 PM on September 24, 2004

reminds me of the nasty 20x20 in-and-out burger

bleagh.
posted by milovoo at 1:07 PM on September 24, 2004

Thank you milovoo! I searched and searched for the MeFi post about that but could not find it.
posted by Ufez Jones at 2:04 PM on September 24, 2004

Glad to help, see also, the original post.
posted by milovoo at 2:44 PM on September 24, 2004

a guy eating a fucking sandwich.

jeez.
posted by kozad at 7:07 PM on September 24, 2004

But is it bigger than a breadbox?
posted by Dick Paris at 5:22 AM on September 26, 2004

He used a *burrito* as one of the sandwich fillings. That, my friends, is inspired.
posted by sixdifferentways at 9:29 PM on September 26, 2004