Beware ... step away from the laptop...

December 8, 2004 8:34 PM

Beware ... step away from the laptop. Laptop computers may damage male fertility. Dr. Yefim Sheynkin of the State University of New York (Stony Brook) reports in the journal Human Reproduction. "Laptops, which reach high internal operating temperatures, can heat up the scrotum which could affect the quality and quantity of men’s sperm." "...Sheynkin, director of male infertility and microsurgery at the university. 'Don't get me wrong -- the laptop computer is very useful and helpful. But we need to be cautious.' "
posted by ericb (29 comments total)

Hooray for laptops!!

(glad I got an Athlon now...)
posted by pompomtom at 8:39 PM on December 8, 2004

As a physician, any time I use my laptop or PDA I put a tin-foil around my penis. The faraday cage affect stops the radio-waves from entering my seminiferous tubules.
posted by dancingbaptist at 8:41 PM on December 8, 2004

Okay: I won't put my laptop on my lap anymore. But is it safe to keep sandwiching my penis between two iPods?
posted by buddhanarchist at 9:06 PM on December 8, 2004

Sweet. My laptop can double as a contraceptive. That's good news.
posted by xmutex at 9:14 PM on December 8, 2004

After a couple of scares this year, I hereby pledge this computer is staying firmly on my lap.
posted by sourwookie at 9:21 PM on December 8, 2004

It's true. This is why your balls are on the outside of your body. Because sperm are sensitive to heat. But who really puts their laptop ON their lap regularly? That is, who is also having any sex, like ever?
posted by scarabic at 9:33 PM on December 8, 2004

Does that mean I can sue Apple if I knock up my girlfriend?
posted by ticopelp at 9:42 PM on December 8, 2004

I'm having sex right now.

How's everyone doing?
posted by xmutex at 9:52 PM on December 8, 2004

Does that mean I can sue Apple if I knock up my girlfriend?

Apple does not specifically call their computers "lap"tops due to overheating issues with their "books" when they aren't placed on a desk with alternate forms of cooling. I learned this in another apple thread. Sometimes apple threads have these seeds of information that grow into trees of knowledge.
posted by The God Complex at 10:15 PM on December 8, 2004

You type pretty well one handed xmutex, and I'm doing fine!
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:16 PM on December 8, 2004

Besides, do you expect me to believe that the Apple™ types on metafilter don't have sex with their power books? I've read those threads.

*G4's all over thread*
posted by The God Complex at 10:16 PM on December 8, 2004

(Slowly moving my laptop off of my lap....)
posted by cpchester at 10:23 PM on December 8, 2004

People actually need to be told stuff like this? And a doctor is getting press for doing so?

Euthanize the stupid. Or let them do it themselves, I guess, which would be the easier and kinder thing to do.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:28 PM on December 8, 2004

Besides, do you expect me to believe that the Apple™ types on metafilter don't have sex with their power books?

I can't. It's too hot.
posted by ticopelp at 10:41 PM on December 8, 2004

Besides, do you expect me to believe that the Apple™ types on metafilter don't have sex with their power books?

I once closed my G4 screen on my penis by accident. It was not sexually gratifying.
posted by fenriq at 10:53 PM on December 8, 2004

*precariously balances laptop on knees*

I never understood why laptops were always shown being used by people lying prone on the floor....
posted by exlotuseater at 11:10 PM on December 8, 2004

hehe, i was sick of buying condoms anyways...
posted by clubmedia at 11:11 PM on December 8, 2004

Are some people boasting that this is an issue because they are affected - even though the lap is well down towards the knee. Sadly for most of us they would have to be renamed grointops.
posted by Cancergiggles at 1:18 AM on December 9, 2004

Cancergiggles raises an excellent point: when I put my iBook on my lap, my knees get warm, not my nuts.

Frankly, I can't imagine typing with a computer jammed up against my belly.
posted by rocketman at 6:21 AM on December 9, 2004

It's official now: computers are tiny gods that rule every aspect of our lives. Next they'll start selectively breeding us to make a human with a laptop-shaped lap.

I wonder if the heat does anything to ovaries. Oooh, but don't you just love that wonderful radiant heat on your tummy when you've got menstrual cramps?

Anyone?
posted by naomi at 6:54 AM on December 9, 2004

No kidding rocketman, how the hell could anyone type with their wrists at 90 degrees.
posted by Mitheral at 6:54 AM on December 9, 2004

As a laptopper who does sit occassionally with the machine on my lap, I've often pondered this.

However, my fear has always been based more on the WiFi card in my machine. I'd like to know what passing about 50 meg of info a day through my testes is doing to my swimmers...
posted by fitzpas at 7:12 AM on December 9, 2004

@Stavros

no need to euthanize the stupid - they will no longer exist as half of their genetic makeup is about to be eternally killed off by a Vaio.
posted by OhPuhLeez at 7:32 AM on December 9, 2004

One thing is for certain, mathowie doesn't place his laptop on his genitals.
posted by mic stand at 7:37 AM on December 9, 2004

Oooh, but don't you just love that wonderful radiant heat on your tummy when you've got menstrual cramps?

Actually I've always found that placing my laptop on my lap will WORSEN my cramps, if that makes any sense that all..

I'm also curious if they have an effect on ovaries..
posted by Menomena at 9:50 AM on December 9, 2004

Is this really an issue? I suppose if you're trying to get your partner pregnant ASAP it could be a problem, but if you already believe in only providing your parner with the freshest of sperm, it's a moot point. Just pump-and-dump after any prolonged laptop-in-lap activity.
posted by pmbuko at 10:11 AM on December 9, 2004

I sort of like where Dr. Sheynkin says there's a chance of long term damage. IANAD (heh, nad) but this is about the same thing you get from wearing y-fronts or tight jeans, no? I can't see how there'd be more "permanent" damage than, say, hot tubbing.
posted by paul_smatatoes at 3:06 PM on December 9, 2004

What paul-smatatoes said.

Like our balls never get uncomfortably warm if not for laptop computers.
posted by Tikirific at 7:25 PM on December 9, 2004

like boys need another reason to talk about their peepees
posted by rexruff at 6:29 AM on December 10, 2004