...or a bucket of turtles

March 5, 2005 9:32 AM

The Ultimate Shredder - Plenty of videos of this beast "processing" everything from aluminum cans to a couch. Don't miss the washing machine video in which someone yells "SHRED IT!" Is it wrong to want to see a cow or something thrown into this thing? (via)
posted by buriednexttoyou (52 comments total)

[this is good]
posted by drezdn at 9:43 AM on March 5, 2005

The couch one is awesome. It's like an outtake from Jaws.
posted by MarkAnd at 9:47 AM on March 5, 2005

I could watch "computers (whole)" over and over again.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:47 AM on March 5, 2005

Fuck yah! This is why God invented the Internet (and Metafilter) .
posted by afx114 at 10:03 AM on March 5, 2005

"The Company That Shreds Torpedoes" deserves T-Shirts. The company that got this design gig found a really great client.
posted by KS at 10:11 AM on March 5, 2005

I wonder how big the couch and whole-boat shredding market is these days.
posted by nyterrant at 10:18 AM on March 5, 2005

That's an excellent bit of edutainment right there.
posted by casu marzu at 10:21 AM on March 5, 2005

Wow, talk about your product promotions...
posted by Brockstar at 10:22 AM on March 5, 2005

Yeah, but can they shred a shredder?
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:33 AM on March 5, 2005

you know these guys must be really excited about their jobs when they sift through mulched medical waste with their bare hands.
posted by sambosambo at 10:36 AM on March 5, 2005

... or shred a shredder shredding a shredder?
posted by chickygrrl at 10:36 AM on March 5, 2005

Hell yeah. This is amazing. I never thought, when I clicked, the list would not only say 'aluminum cans' and 'couch' and 'washing machine' but also 'boat' and 'refrigerator' and... this machine is clearly our god.
posted by blacklite at 10:44 AM on March 5, 2005

Fargo


(sorry... sorry)
posted by edgeways at 10:48 AM on March 5, 2005

Was anybody else dissapointed when they didn't see a "Mannequin" option? Or am I the only person that didn't purge that movie from their memory?
posted by Stan Chin at 10:50 AM on March 5, 2005

Is it wrong to want to see a cow or something thrown into this thing?

Um...yes.
posted by wsg at 10:52 AM on March 5, 2005

Steel Drums has got to be my fav...three cheers for this post !
posted by gren at 10:54 AM on March 5, 2005

This is what the Death Star needed. It would've helped them avoid so many problems down the road.
posted by picea at 10:57 AM on March 5, 2005

Screw graduate school! I want to operate one of these things.
posted by c13 at 11:06 AM on March 5, 2005

I want to see the outtakes. In particular, I'd like to see the camera fall into the shredder.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:07 AM on March 5, 2005

Stan Chin: up until now, yes.
posted by fossil_human at 11:46 AM on March 5, 2005

Screw operating one of these things, I want to OWN one. It's be so much easier to get read of old junk, like dead cars. Or no longer used sheds.

I don't know why this is so cool. It's like a challenge has been issued; I need one now just to find something it CAN'T shred.
posted by Stunt at 11:47 AM on March 5, 2005

curious images from the medical waste shred:




posted by stokast at 11:57 AM on March 5, 2005

I want to see the outtakes. In particular, I'd like to see the camera fall into the shredder.

Camera man, you mean?

Also, it's pretty crazy how the stuff just doesn't tumble along the top of the rollers. It really gets sucked down in. Amazing.
posted by heydanno at 12:47 PM on March 5, 2005

It ate a boat. It ate a boat. That was awesome!

(Also, thanks to Stan Chin and fossil_human's riff on remembering things once forgotten, I just lost. Damn it.)
posted by LeeJay at 1:06 PM on March 5, 2005

Finally, the perfect answer.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 1:12 PM on March 5, 2005

Toy Story III: The Reckoning

In which Andy finally grows up and moves on.
posted by yhbc at 1:15 PM on March 5, 2005 [1 favorite]

It's amazing. I watch this and suddenly I'm like Beavis + Butthead with a circular saw.
posted by dodgygeezer at 1:27 PM on March 5, 2005

I want one of these mounted to the hood of my car.
posted by ssmith at 1:43 PM on March 5, 2005

The reason couch is so clearly the winner here is because couch puts up such a good fight. When couch does inevitably succumb to the shredder, I felt both sad for the passing of couch and giddy at the sight of such a destructive toy. Three cheers for this post.
posted by pejamo at 1:48 PM on March 5, 2005

From what I understand, this is what happens when you put mutagenic ooze on a regular Shredder.
posted by StopMakingSense at 2:25 PM on March 5, 2005

"Computers (Whole)" is the "Shred of the month"
posted by aubilenon at 2:34 PM on March 5, 2005

They should have recreated that Simpsons scene where two black suited minders shred the contents of Quimby's filing cabinet, then immediately throw the shredders and their contents into a larger shredder. Hilarity..
posted by fire&wings at 2:34 PM on March 5, 2005

I think metafilter needs to cull all of our money together and buy a community shredder, for...um, shredding.
posted by cloeburner at 2:43 PM on March 5, 2005

Diapers?!

whywhywhy?
posted by recurve at 5:14 PM on March 5, 2005

Shredder porn. Nice.
posted by e40 at 5:52 PM on March 5, 2005

And nobody has said it yet?

"I for one welcome our....."
posted by jokeefe at 7:01 PM on March 5, 2005

Too ninja turtle-ish, jokeefe.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 7:46 PM on March 5, 2005

That was maybe the coolest thing ever. Well, except for when I was NMT and EMRTC blew up a gasoline tanker by firing high velocity bullets at it. True, I didn't see that one, but I sure as hell heard and felt it.

Oh, also the guy who combined O2 with his BBQ grill. That was pretty cool, too.

Is it just me, or did anyone else get a little teary-eyed at the demise of Couch?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:19 PM on March 5, 2005

Please tell me those were "Waterboy" DVDs that that bad boy was shredding? Awesome link by the way.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:23 PM on March 5, 2005

Reminds me of how Benicio Del Toro died in "License to Kill".
posted by randomstriker at 9:17 PM on March 5, 2005

Amazing, they need one of these at the end of every assembly line.
posted by kuatto at 11:24 PM on March 5, 2005

curious images from the medical waste shred:

Curious because the worker has no qualms about rooting though shredded medical waste without any gloves?
posted by Robot Johnny at 11:57 PM on March 5, 2005

Six Feet Under has a new opening scene...
posted by MrMulan at 5:51 AM on March 6, 2005

Finally, I have an answer for what to do with all those pesky catalytic converters laying around the place. Ditto for the concrete-filled metal drums, which, in my unenlightened pre-SSI world, I would have thought unshreddable.

And...what c13 said.
posted by jimmythefish at 8:37 AM on March 6, 2005

Picea, I was going to post the same thing. If they ever build another Death Star, Chewie & Co. won't be so lucky.
posted by Frank Grimes at 9:51 AM on March 6, 2005

See also: Survival Research Laboratories
posted by Bron at 11:57 AM on March 6, 2005

Can't stop watching...
posted by The Cardinal at 2:15 PM on March 6, 2005

Steel Drums has got to be my fav...three cheers for this post !

I think the Steel Drums are my favorite too. There is just something so satisfying about seeing them suddenly crumple and disappear. It's almost as if they deflate like a balloon!
posted by RockBandit at 3:59 PM on March 6, 2005

Reminds me of how Benicio Del Toro died in "License to Kill".

I was all set to be like, "Remember License to Kill?" thinking no one else would make the reference. Damn You!
posted by shmegegge at 4:07 PM on March 6, 2005

Same idea as the product behind the "Grind Nemo" press release, right?
posted by NortonDC at 9:08 PM on March 6, 2005

Superb.
posted by Frasermoo at 12:43 PM on March 7, 2005

Oh, this is a noise afficionado's dream! Not only are there some kickass shredding videos, but the audio is so incredibly Merzbow.
posted by taschenrechner at 10:58 PM on March 7, 2005