Savage punks.

May 9, 2005 3:43 PM

Pity the parents of adolescent boys. Such creatures are horrible human beings -- unsocialized, inarticulate, sometimes savage little jerks with raging hormones and no judgment.
posted by Count Ziggurat (45 comments total)

This article requires a login, but I read it in the Globe last Saturday, and could only think, for what must be the hundredth time, how can Margaret Wente write so much that I agree with some of the time, and other time write such nonsense? (This article fits into the latter category, btw.)
posted by jokeefe at 3:47 PM on May 9, 2005

It doesn't just require a login--you have to provide a credit card for a 14-day "trial period".
posted by LairBob at 3:49 PM on May 9, 2005

Ugh, sorry about that.
I followed the link from Google News and didn't have to login.
posted by Count Ziggurat at 3:52 PM on May 9, 2005

Sounds like they're all little terrorists, to me..
Or somebody forgot to fill them full of Prozac, Paxil, and Ritalin.

Off to Git'mo with the lot of 'em!

And those sweet little girls are loosing their luster, too...
posted by Balisong at 3:55 PM on May 9, 2005

You can follow the link from here, maybe.

And also you can see what some dude on WND thinks.
posted by Kwantsar at 3:56 PM on May 9, 2005

You can try following the link from here, which worked for me.
posted by Count Ziggurat at 3:56 PM on May 9, 2005

Or instead of Git'mo, you can do like MY parents did, after the Ritalin regimen failed to keep me in line, they sent me off to Military School!

(that didn't help either...)
posted by Balisong at 4:00 PM on May 9, 2005

They new what they were getting into when they bumped uglies.
posted by delmoi at 4:00 PM on May 9, 2005

I'm not sure what's so nonsensical about it all, but it's certainly not a new insight.

Countries made up primarily of young men are not usually very stable and are generally quite violent. That's why sex, and the competition for it, is a pretty good thing. Somebody else look it up for me.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:01 PM on May 9, 2005

My Mom -mother of two daughters- used to say that you could identify the mothers of sons by the shell-shocked look on their faces.
posted by loafingcactus at 4:05 PM on May 9, 2005

I have an adolescent son. I have a 15 year old daughter. I can tell you that nothing - not even an unsocialized, inarticulate, sometimes savage little jerk with raging hormones and no judgment - compare to the horror that is a teenage girl.
posted by grey_flap at 4:11 PM on May 9, 2005

Some will set something on fire just for fun

I don't get it. What's wrong with that?

Or does she mean something along the lines of this?
I know, the guy's not an adolescent
posted by C17H19NO3 at 4:15 PM on May 9, 2005

loafingcactus, that reminds me of a cheesy list my aunt sent me.
posted by Specklet at 4:18 PM on May 9, 2005

The Globe locks up its content so tight - drives me nuts. I subscribe to the real, paper version and so often read interesting features that I'd like to share with people, but it's locked up on the website. Argh.

As for this - ah, Margaret Wente. This one got four or five letters to the editor at least - so, she did her job. (I like her on occasion, but generally her columns seem tailor-made to start an argument. Interesting, at times, but this one was insanely tedious).
posted by livii at 4:21 PM on May 9, 2005

I'm not sure what's so nonsensical about it all, but it's certainly not a new insight.

That's pretty much my issue here-- it's a retread of cliches, with an overarching notion of "boys will be boys". I suppose, technically, it's not nonsense-- I could recognize all the half baked assumptions, the received and unquestioned ideas, and gender stereotyping involved-- but its shallowness annoyed me greatly. And yes, as the aunt of two adolescent nieces (and the mother of an 18 year old son) I can reiterate that aggression and energy are not the property of any one gender more than another.
posted by jokeefe at 4:30 PM on May 9, 2005

For shame, boys. Why can't you be good little angels, like every adolescent girl in the world?

On preview: jokeefe sums it nicely.
posted by sellout at 4:43 PM on May 9, 2005

Resident punks?

This link has nothing to do with the article, btw.
posted by andendau at 4:58 PM on May 9, 2005

Such creatures are horrible human beings -- unsocialized, inarticulate, sometimes savage little jerks with raging hormones and no judgment.

*gasp*
posted by jonmc at 5:02 PM on May 9, 2005

Such creatures are horrible human beings -- unsocialized, inarticulate, sometimes savage little jerks with raging hormones and no judgment.

Republicans?
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:04 PM on May 9, 2005

Easy to have children- raising them to be capable civilized human beings requires some effort. Fortunately, it's one of the most fun things to do ever. My two boys (19 & 17 yo) are a constant source of pride and delight.

the closest thing to a single-source guidance guru I can recommend is John Rosemond. I was initially attracted to his ideas because of his zero tolerance policy towards television. I am normally a political leftie, but a family with young children works best as a (hopefully benevolent) dictatorship. Check out Rosemond's children's bill of rights.
posted by squalor at 5:04 PM on May 9, 2005

[/de-trolls]
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:04 PM on May 9, 2005

Such creatures are horrible human beings -- unsocialized, inarticulate, sometimes savage little jerks with raging hormones and no judgment.

Only the ones who have any kind of fun.
posted by jonmc at 5:06 PM on May 9, 2005

Pity the people who care. Ha Ha. They are the same saps that sit in an airplane cringing while the children make noise and the parents (of other children) in the plane sit there seemingly oblivious. Life is too short to get worked up over rambunctious kids and other nonconformist miscellanea.
posted by caddis at 5:15 PM on May 9, 2005

agreed, caddis: wanna go get loaded and play mailbox baseball?
posted by jonmc at 5:17 PM on May 9, 2005

Pity parents? Why? It's not like someone made them spawn, is it?

Beds. The making thereof and the lying therein.
posted by Decani at 5:46 PM on May 9, 2005

Why do I have the feeling that she's against abortion?
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:52 PM on May 9, 2005

gender stereotyping?

watch howard stern, wild boyz or look at the inmates of the penal system, juvenile or adult. many boys never grow out of it and their parents don't get the sense of pride and delight.
i was one of those boys that grew out of it but believe me, no parent would have been proud and delighted to have a son with the 'markers' of what criminal profilers consider sociopathic.
but i do love the wild boyz because i get a vicarious laugh at my teen idiocy while someone makes a living at being one of 'those' teenage boys.
the worst thing about teenage daughters is that 'it' comes to your home vs 'it' leaving your home.
posted by emdog at 5:55 PM on May 9, 2005

If Karma is true. And IF it IS exponential. Then my male offspring must quickly be sequestered into an isolated high security containment area far, faaaar, away from any thing: blow-up-able, excavate-able, flammable, stain-able, throw-able, nail-able, climb-able, ride-able, chemically react-able, and finally, hump-able.

God, or the Universe, or who ever has, insanely enough, allowed me to reproduce. And the only reason I can come up with is NOT to punish me. No. But to punish YOU all.

I can not be held responsible if you all don't IMMEDIATELY call out the Mutant Reaction Force.

You have been warned. Good luck.
posted by tkchrist at 6:04 PM on May 9, 2005

My favorite part of this incoherant nonsense:
As any teenager will tell you, the world of MSN can be a harsh and brutal place.

Yeah, it's such a horrific lifestyle, getting flamed by the 1337 kids in a chatroom over your broadband connection from your parents' basement. Any teenager can relate to that. I've been there, I got out, and I'm never going back. Shudder.
posted by baphomet at 6:08 PM on May 9, 2005

Agree entirely on the Margaret Wente front.

And give me boys over girls anyday. Sure, the early teens will be a mess, but the late teens will be a breeze in comparison...
posted by dreamsign at 6:21 PM on May 9, 2005

Teenage boys aren't as prone to mind games.

Oh God, the mindgames . . . At least boys communicate in language you can understand.
posted by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on May 9, 2005

mrgrimm: "Countries made up pramarily of young men"?
other than "lord of the flies", what could that mean?
posted by longsleeves at 7:09 PM on May 9, 2005

suddenly, metafilter makes so much more sense.
posted by crunchland at 7:32 PM on May 9, 2005

longsleeves,
Countries with a disproportionate balance of men and women. China comes to mind.
posted by Sangermaine at 7:58 PM on May 9, 2005

Here's a better Globe story on the St. George's thing (note: I don't have any problems accessing it, hope it works for everyone).

According to the article, this recent issue is not really an isolated problem at the school (as was implied by Wente). Among other things, Wong reports:

Last fall, the residents group conducted a traffic study .... Louise Morin, who lives across the street, says she has been cursed by both parents and boys for photographing cars parked on the sidewalk.

"Last fall, I was counting traffic when two boys -- 13 or 14 years old -- said one to another, in my direction, 'They're all a bunch of Jews,' " says Ms. Morin, who is a divorce lawyer -- and not Jewish.
posted by carmen at 8:51 PM on May 9, 2005

nothing [...] compare to the horror that is a teenage girl.

Word. Plus, you don't have to worry about your son getting knocked up.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:18 PM on May 9, 2005

nothing [...] compare to the horror that is a teenage girl.

Word. Plus, you don't have to worry about your son getting knocked up.

Are you all feeling picked on or something? Jesus. I'm sure it's not fun for any teenaged girl to get pregnant.

But I guess it's easier if your son "knicks someone up" and just ignores it and runs away.

No worries there.
posted by aclevername at 10:00 PM on May 9, 2005

With a son you only have to worry about one dick, with a daughter you have to worry about all the dicks.
posted by Mick at 5:25 AM on May 10, 2005

But Mick... what if your son or daughter is gay?
posted by Decani at 5:54 AM on May 10, 2005

Once someone actually says "boys will be boys" I just stop listening. At least come up with a new cliché, people.

(this also works in spotting anti-feminist trolls, who have a penchant for calling women "ladies" as in, "you ladies are getting mad about nothing!")

I have a hard time believing that a kid would just start using racial harrassment/arson/etc. out of the blue; if their parents were shocked, then their parents weren't paying attention. Or maybe they just assumed "boys will be boys" until things got out of hand.
posted by emjaybee at 7:10 AM on May 10, 2005

I HATE it when people say "at least a boy can't get knocked up." Well, it's someone's little angel who's knocking up the girls. They are JUST as responsible for it as the girl is, and you, as parents, better let them know that. Any parent who allows their boy who impregnanted someone to run away with their dicks between their legs because "boys will be boys." Yes, they won't be pregnant but they better damn well own up to what happened.

Like the women in the article who said "I'm sorry if my boy was involved. There's nothing I could do." Er, yes, you could BE A PARENT and not let your boys run rampant all over everything. Not all boys have to be obnoxious, smelly, rude, misbehaving delinquents. It's the parents that matter. The second you say "well, he's a boy, what do you expect," things go out of hand.
posted by aacheson at 11:00 AM on May 10, 2005

Not all boys have to be obnoxious, smelly, rude, misbehaving delinquents.

Buzzkill.
posted by jonmc at 11:50 AM on May 10, 2005

aacheson, I think the comments agree with you. Nobody's condoning knocking a girl up and then running away. It's certainly easier if your kid isn't the pregnant one, and the comment reflects that sentiment. I didn't detect a note of boys will be boys with it, just a: there's one thing that, if it happens, will at least be easier on us than on girls' parents.
posted by defending chump at 1:31 PM on May 10, 2005

Sorry, I'm several days late, but I have to post this link by my favorite family humorist, the late Erma Bombeck. My momma and I have large sections of this passage memorized and recite to each other at will. And--for the record--I'm a girl.
posted by Pyth at 8:55 PM on May 10, 2005

That's funny. I caught about 3 seconds of Conan's stand-up tonight in which he was obviously referencing real research, but I didn't catch enough of it to track down.

Apparently girls possess the ability to learn "cruelty and manipulation" at the age of three. Confirmation? Bueller?
posted by dreamsign at 10:44 PM on May 10, 2005