More ascending, less flailing.

May 27, 2005 12:26 AM

Marshmallow baby Jesus? Check. Kitchen timer baby Jesus? Absolutely. Giant inflatable baby Jesus that lights up? You betcha. All this and more at the Cavalcade of Bad Nativities. Once you're finished beholding him in all his cheesy infant glory, meditate upon the rest of his (badly rendered) life and works at The Passion of the Tchotchke.
posted by LeeJay (14 comments total)

These poor imitations make the baby Jesus cry.

Poorly done recreations in the marketplace of the temple.
posted by nofundy at 5:04 AM on May 27, 2005

Can the marshmallow ones be used for Eucharist?
posted by nofundy at 5:05 AM on May 27, 2005

...it looks like Jesus should be arrested for Operating A Donkey Under the Influence.
Well, today's off to a good start. The favicon alone is worth a clickthrough.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:11 AM on May 27, 2005

"Bread go up. Bread go down. Bread go up. Bread go down."
posted by eriko at 5:13 AM on May 27, 2005

The Passion of the Peeps.
posted by ChrisTN at 5:54 AM on May 27, 2005

It certainly goes the "Plastic Jesus on my Dashboard" one better, doesn't it?
posted by alumshubby at 6:19 AM on May 27, 2005

[this is good - and the commentary better.]
posted by jb at 7:09 AM on May 27, 2005

I woke up this morning and my car window was busted out - but apparently nothing's missing. I've been missing my ID, Bank Card and ATM Card for a week. I just looked in the bag I brought to work and the glass jar my lunch was in broke, covering my mail with food and broken glass. But this - this almost makes up for it all, thanks.

As a previous dollar-store employee I have a love/hate relationship with kitschy resin dolls (which would make a good band name). And there's no kitschy resin doll like a religious kitschy resin doll. I have a small collection of gaudy religious paraphernalia including the "Jesus in an Egg" resin doll, holographic Jesus necklace and a set of three Jesus 'n' Mary Holographic pictures, but this is an impressive collection. I happen to find marketing religious goods, especially those made by overworked poor people, rather disturbing but that doesn't keep me from buying them or enjoying the extreme amounts of cognitive dissonanace they give me. Also see these great Jesus Inspirational Sports Statues. When I was looking for those I happened across this 1" rosary ring w/ cross - in the chastity section. Does that have disturbing implications for anyone else? And don't forget to pick up a few cases of God's Love for You.
posted by nTeleKy at 7:27 AM on May 27, 2005

I love the fact that she's a church secretary who takes classes in Homiletics. Makes the tone even more perfect. Nice post, LeeJay.
posted by mediareport at 8:05 AM on May 27, 2005

That's an impressive collection. Thank you Jesus, for bringing me this link.
posted by fungible at 8:23 AM on May 27, 2005

This is my body . . . which, when combined with butter and rice cereal, makes a delicious and affordable treat!
posted by brain_drain at 9:11 AM on May 27, 2005

I am the proud owner of a gold-plastic-jesus-on-the-cross snowdome filled with glitter.

But I am in awe.
posted by Kafkaesque at 10:02 AM on May 27, 2005

This is all so Magic Roundabout
posted by TimothyMason at 12:36 PM on May 27, 2005

Kitsch of Nazareth
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:52 PM on May 27, 2005