Make mine a double
June 3, 2005 12:56 PM Subscribe
"The latest 'must-have' in the world of plastic surgery is the 'designer vagina'. As if we didn't have enough to worry about (bikini-line waxes, highlights, Botox injections), it seems we're now meant to be worrying about our vaginas not being pretty enough. Labia-envy is apparently rife, if you believe the ads in many women’s magazines. And like those who head for the hairdresser clutching pictures of Jennifer Aniston, many women are now taking copies of Playboy to their plastic surgeons, saying: 'I want one like that'." Price list here. Sort of previously discussed here. [First link SFW; others questionable.]
I think these people need to have some REAL problems to think about.
posted by Red58 at 1:04 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by Red58 at 1:04 PM on June 3, 2005
That's just silly. They're all beautiful. Keep your money. Didn't someone once say something about variety and spice?
posted by modernerd at 1:06 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by modernerd at 1:06 PM on June 3, 2005
Yeah, like women don't have enough about their bodies to obsess about.
posted by FunkyHelix at 1:07 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by FunkyHelix at 1:07 PM on June 3, 2005
I guess all the Botox and boob jobs didn't give them the improved self image they thought it would.
People are silly.
And since when does Playboy show vaginas?
posted by bondcliff at 1:12 PM on June 3, 2005
People are silly.
And since when does Playboy show vaginas?
posted by bondcliff at 1:12 PM on June 3, 2005
Bondcliff: 1968 called, said they wanted their magazines back and you'd know what they meant.
posted by mojohand at 1:14 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by mojohand at 1:14 PM on June 3, 2005
*replaces bondcliff's Playboys with copies of Chaste*
posted by schyler523 at 1:16 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by schyler523 at 1:16 PM on June 3, 2005
Sorry, I haven't picked up a Playboy since the cable guy attached a box to my computer that supplies endless free porn of all varieties.
And mojohand, David Spade called from 1995. He wants his shtick back.
posted by bondcliff at 1:24 PM on June 3, 2005
And mojohand, David Spade called from 1995. He wants his shtick back.
posted by bondcliff at 1:24 PM on June 3, 2005
Vaginas are awesome in all their multi-morphic glory and cannot be improved by any effort of humanity. The doctors who do these operations should be forced to get "I alter cooters against all notions of sense, rationality and decency" tattooed on their foreheads.
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:29 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by Divine_Wino at 1:29 PM on June 3, 2005
Ewww, creepy, reminds me of a sci-fi story that had:
Reno-Vag (tm), the tighter back end vagina.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:36 PM on June 3, 2005
Reno-Vag (tm), the tighter back end vagina.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:36 PM on June 3, 2005
*only has one copy of playboy*
But it is signed by Denise Richards, so there.
posted by schyler523 at 1:37 PM on June 3, 2005
But it is signed by Denise Richards, so there.
posted by schyler523 at 1:37 PM on June 3, 2005
A cunning stunt, indeed.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:37 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:37 PM on June 3, 2005
To compete, we men are gonna have to get designer nutsacks, maybe with the plastic surgeon's name stiched on it like a pair of jeans.
posted by jonmc at 1:40 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by jonmc at 1:40 PM on June 3, 2005
I watched a show a week or so ago with my wife, one of those "real life plastic surgeon" things, probably on TLC. The episode in question featured a woman who paid $10,000 to have her ass enlarged. After seeing that, and hearing about the whole asshole-bleaching thing that seems to be going on, and now this... What the fuck?
One of the women featured on another such show threw a huge fit with the doc because he refused to perform an "enhancement" on her chest, due to his concerns over some of her medical issues. He didn't want her dying on the table, and her response was to scream at him on camera, apparently because his reluctance to endanger her life was not an appropriate reason (in her mind) to deny her the income she could maybe gain from having an unnaturally large rack. "Whatever happened to a little thing called 'the customer is always right?'" she yells. Right. Because unnecessary invasive surgery requiring full anaesthetics is just a customer - provider issue, like getting the exact toppings you ordered on your burger.
Sometimes I think we'd be better off as a species if we just outlawed any cosmetic surgery that was not performed to correct an actual medical condition. Small boobies are not a legitimate medical problem. Neither is a small butt, a non-whitened bunghole, or a non-CGI-porn-perfect vagina.
I mean, christ, what next?
posted by caution live frogs at 1:49 PM on June 3, 2005
One of the women featured on another such show threw a huge fit with the doc because he refused to perform an "enhancement" on her chest, due to his concerns over some of her medical issues. He didn't want her dying on the table, and her response was to scream at him on camera, apparently because his reluctance to endanger her life was not an appropriate reason (in her mind) to deny her the income she could maybe gain from having an unnaturally large rack. "Whatever happened to a little thing called 'the customer is always right?'" she yells. Right. Because unnecessary invasive surgery requiring full anaesthetics is just a customer - provider issue, like getting the exact toppings you ordered on your burger.
Sometimes I think we'd be better off as a species if we just outlawed any cosmetic surgery that was not performed to correct an actual medical condition. Small boobies are not a legitimate medical problem. Neither is a small butt, a non-whitened bunghole, or a non-CGI-porn-perfect vagina.
I mean, christ, what next?
posted by caution live frogs at 1:49 PM on June 3, 2005
Well... if you've ever been confronted by something that looks like an Arby's Big Montana roast beef sammich, you might be more understanding of this procedure.
posted by BobFrapples at 1:51 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by BobFrapples at 1:51 PM on June 3, 2005
Sometimes I think we'd be better off as a species if we just outlawed any cosmetic surgery that was not performed to correct an actual medical condition.
Outlaw hair-dye, non-military/gang tattoos, piercings, makeup, perfume, and hell, any grooming regimen next. It's all just narcissism ultimately. Be happy in the stinking, hairy, blemished floppy-assed body nature gave you, dammit.
Well... if you've ever been confronted by something that looks like an Arby's Big Montana roast beef sammich, you might be more understanding of this procedure.
Right, and I'm sure it stopped you from hitting it.
posted by jonmc at 1:54 PM on June 3, 2005
Outlaw hair-dye, non-military/gang tattoos, piercings, makeup, perfume, and hell, any grooming regimen next. It's all just narcissism ultimately. Be happy in the stinking, hairy, blemished floppy-assed body nature gave you, dammit.
Well... if you've ever been confronted by something that looks like an Arby's Big Montana roast beef sammich, you might be more understanding of this procedure.
Right, and I'm sure it stopped you from hitting it.
posted by jonmc at 1:54 PM on June 3, 2005
BobFrapples, you need to stop going to Arby's and fucking their sandwiches.
posted by wendell at 1:56 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by wendell at 1:56 PM on June 3, 2005
jonmc writes "*has sudden revelation about the 'Horsey Sauce'*"
*Ahem* Special Sauce *Ahem*
posted by schyler523 at 1:58 PM on June 3, 2005
*Ahem* Special Sauce *Ahem*
posted by schyler523 at 1:58 PM on June 3, 2005
They should just go get a piercing like any normal civilized person.
posted by matildaben at 2:50 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by matildaben at 2:50 PM on June 3, 2005
I love you all, except for Bob. Also, I would like to blame this directly on the shaving crew and the mirror industry.
Finally, jon, there is a difference between brushing your hair and undergoing surgery on the specialest of parts. Just because you want to be a pig doesn't mean everyone does. I have carefully weighed the effort-benefit ratio to each and every bit of grooming and chosen only the finest. Further, my ass is round like a peach and does not sag. So there.
posted by dame at 2:53 PM on June 3, 2005
Finally, jon, there is a difference between brushing your hair and undergoing surgery on the specialest of parts. Just because you want to be a pig doesn't mean everyone does. I have carefully weighed the effort-benefit ratio to each and every bit of grooming and chosen only the finest. Further, my ass is round like a peach and does not sag. So there.
posted by dame at 2:53 PM on June 3, 2005
You know, sometimes there are women who take their clothes off on stage for money... and sometimes those girls have a little more vagina than most... and sometimes there are guys who say things like "I thought Thanksgiving was over, but MAN, is that a lot of turkey down there!" loudly, while the girl is on stage... and sometimes things like that make her think a process like this would be worth it.
posted by ArsncHeart at 2:58 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by ArsncHeart at 2:58 PM on June 3, 2005
Wow. Hymens are expensive. No wonder it hurts when you try to get rid of them.
posted by dame at 2:58 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by dame at 2:58 PM on June 3, 2005
Tried to find a transcript of a really funny standup bit about this, but you can imagine what i encountered on Google...
Dame: Ouch...
posted by schyler523 at 3:05 PM on June 3, 2005
Dame: Ouch...
posted by schyler523 at 3:05 PM on June 3, 2005
I'd recommend avoiding the "before" and "after" pics. Not Safe For After Lunch.
posted by belling at 3:09 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by belling at 3:09 PM on June 3, 2005
[Pet Annoyance] I wish there could be some agreement on the use of the word 'vagina'. The vagina is internal, and is only part of female genitalia (say it with me: vagina, clitoris, labia minora, labia majora), and using that one word to cover the whole package drives me crazy. The word is 'vulva', people. Thenk you.
Oh yeah, and while there are some legitimate reasons for having some varieties of this surgery-- a difficult childbirth can cause serious complications that require repair for medical reaons-- I can't imagine why any woman would want to do this. Unless, of course, she's in the unfortunate position of being BobFrapples' girlfriend. If he has one.
posted by jokeefe at 3:13 PM on June 3, 2005
Oh yeah, and while there are some legitimate reasons for having some varieties of this surgery-- a difficult childbirth can cause serious complications that require repair for medical reaons-- I can't imagine why any woman would want to do this. Unless, of course, she's in the unfortunate position of being BobFrapples' girlfriend. If he has one.
posted by jokeefe at 3:13 PM on June 3, 2005
Why do none of you people have a sense of humor? Bob was making an outrageous joke, an OBVIOUSLY outrageous joke. Now you villify him, imply he couldn't land a girlfriend, etc. Jesus, people, according to you it's as if by mocking something horrible, you automatically BECOME that thing.
posted by jonson at 3:17 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by jonson at 3:17 PM on June 3, 2005
I was just expecting that comment from quonsar, that's all...Bob just startled me.
posted by schyler523 at 3:19 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by schyler523 at 3:19 PM on June 3, 2005
In the good old days, there was this stuff called pubic hair that cloaked vulval features in most positions a body can be in.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 3:28 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 3:28 PM on June 3, 2005
I'd recommend avoiding the "before" and "after" pics. Not Safe For After Lunch.
posted by belling at 3:45 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by belling at 3:45 PM on June 3, 2005
As an aficionado....a connoisseur even - why change what is essentially perfection? (Plumbing problems aside) I would note there is societal pressure that is probably making it come to this, but is it that hard for women to get laid or get someone to go down on them? Why bow to the body conscious beer drinking couch riding "girls gone wild" watching wannabe or pseudo-jocks (or any associative machismo type insertable there) who can't find the clitoris with a GPS and a team of sherpas? Move the labial lips guys, it ain't hard. And, as in the case of beauty, it is truly what is inside that counts anyway.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:47 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by Smedleyman at 3:47 PM on June 3, 2005
Huh. I was just thinking about this the other day. A character on a TV show (Six Feet Under) was talking about her vaginal reconstruction surgery. She mentioned that "no one wants to fuck a glass of water" (I suppose Bob's imagery is more visceral).
I'm not a fan of plastic surgery, either, but I don't see any difference between this and a nose job, breast enhancement, or liposuction. It's silly, but humans are awful silly sometimes.
If it makes you feel better and doesn't hurt anyone ... eh.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:59 PM on June 3, 2005
I'm not a fan of plastic surgery, either, but I don't see any difference between this and a nose job, breast enhancement, or liposuction. It's silly, but humans are awful silly sometimes.
If it makes you feel better and doesn't hurt anyone ... eh.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:59 PM on June 3, 2005
15 year old female with enlarged labia minora and clitoral hood. She had discomfort in clothes and with sports and also disliked the appearance.
definitely not safe, for anybody... I really can't believe it...
posted by Chuckles at 4:09 PM on June 3, 2005
definitely not safe, for anybody... I really can't believe it...
posted by Chuckles at 4:09 PM on June 3, 2005
I'm not a fan of plastic surgery, either, but I don't see any difference between this and a nose job, breast enhancement, or liposuction.
I get the impression that a lot of people who are against this are against those things. For instance, I think spending that much money and going through that much pain to make yourself look closer to some ideal is a sign of mental illness. No one needs a cosmetic nose job, boob job, or liposuction--they need a shrink and some self-respect.
posted by dame at 4:09 PM on June 3, 2005
I get the impression that a lot of people who are against this are against those things. For instance, I think spending that much money and going through that much pain to make yourself look closer to some ideal is a sign of mental illness. No one needs a cosmetic nose job, boob job, or liposuction--they need a shrink and some self-respect.
posted by dame at 4:09 PM on June 3, 2005
That's just silly. They're all beautiful.
You know, I'm as body-image-positive as the next person, but if female genitalia looked like, I don't know, a sea urchin, certain men would still call them beautiful because of what they are rather than what they look like. (similarly, I had a friend who swore it was the best thing he ever tasted, but come on, can we pleeease separate form and function?)
I just toured the Rijksmuseum's renovation-truncated exhibits, and found the work of a certain Dutch master who had isolated a certain stylistic flourish, creating a work of the flourish itself with no other content. It was called the Lobate Oricular. Lobe like lobes of skin. It was considered a grotesquerie, but artisticly so. That's what I think a vagina looks like.
posted by dreamsign at 4:20 PM on June 3, 2005
You know, I'm as body-image-positive as the next person, but if female genitalia looked like, I don't know, a sea urchin, certain men would still call them beautiful because of what they are rather than what they look like. (similarly, I had a friend who swore it was the best thing he ever tasted, but come on, can we pleeease separate form and function?)
I just toured the Rijksmuseum's renovation-truncated exhibits, and found the work of a certain Dutch master who had isolated a certain stylistic flourish, creating a work of the flourish itself with no other content. It was called the Lobate Oricular. Lobe like lobes of skin. It was considered a grotesquerie, but artisticly so. That's what I think a vagina looks like.
posted by dreamsign at 4:20 PM on June 3, 2005
"Whatever happened to a little thing called 'the customer is always right?'" she yells.
Hmmmm. Reminds me of stories from my uncle, retired from dentistry. People who maybe have several of their original teeth left, the rest gone, and who want the remaining healthy ones yanked because they're too much darn trouble. Sorry, he says, I'm not in the healthy-tooth-yanking business. Fine, they say, storming off. If you won't, I'm sure I can find a dentist who will.
I'm sure they did.
posted by dreamsign at 4:23 PM on June 3, 2005
Hmmmm. Reminds me of stories from my uncle, retired from dentistry. People who maybe have several of their original teeth left, the rest gone, and who want the remaining healthy ones yanked because they're too much darn trouble. Sorry, he says, I'm not in the healthy-tooth-yanking business. Fine, they say, storming off. If you won't, I'm sure I can find a dentist who will.
I'm sure they did.
posted by dreamsign at 4:23 PM on June 3, 2005
(Responding to dame's response...)
Well, the difference between a nose job, breast enhancement or liposuction vs. designer vagina surgery is that the former don't primarily affect sexual function. Tampering with nerve endings in the genitalia cannot be good for one's sexual response.
I'm assuming this surgery is done on adult women, who can certainly make their own decisions on what to do with their own bodies. But I also think this speaks to the larger issue of western society imposing unreasonable standards of perfection on women, then being surprised and blaming women when they're affected with low self-esteem.
posted by Space Kitty at 4:24 PM on June 3, 2005
Well, the difference between a nose job, breast enhancement or liposuction vs. designer vagina surgery is that the former don't primarily affect sexual function. Tampering with nerve endings in the genitalia cannot be good for one's sexual response.
I'm assuming this surgery is done on adult women, who can certainly make their own decisions on what to do with their own bodies. But I also think this speaks to the larger issue of western society imposing unreasonable standards of perfection on women, then being surprised and blaming women when they're affected with low self-esteem.
posted by Space Kitty at 4:24 PM on June 3, 2005
Oh, don't get me wrong, Space Kitty. I don't think it's their fault they need a shrink, but I do think having cosmetic surgery says something ugly about someone's psyche.
And dreamsign, there are men who enjoy the look & taste. You may not, and that makes me glad I don't fuck you, but some do. Just like some women think penises are grotesque and some don't.
posted by dame at 4:33 PM on June 3, 2005
And dreamsign, there are men who enjoy the look & taste. You may not, and that makes me glad I don't fuck you, but some do. Just like some women think penises are grotesque and some don't.
posted by dame at 4:33 PM on June 3, 2005
There are lots and lots of women, dame, who don't enjoy the taste of semen. The difference seems to be that they don't let their love of sex interfere with their perceptions. I also love sex, and women's forms, too, but just because I love a sunset doesn't mean I love the colour orange.
posted by dreamsign at 4:40 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by dreamsign at 4:40 PM on June 3, 2005
You're missing the point. Some people who are not you actually like it. They are not deluded by their love of sex. They just like it. I think mustard is the most disgusting flavor known to humanity. That does not however lead me to think that people who like mustard are just misled by their affection for hot dogs and sandwiches. Jeebus.
posted by dame at 4:49 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by dame at 4:49 PM on June 3, 2005
Just because you want to be a pig doesn't mean everyone does.
*oink oink oink*
You love my slovenly piggishness, you know it.
That's just silly. They're all beautiful.
This reminds me of one of my favorite dirty jokes.
A liitle boy asks his father, "what does a vagina look like?"
The father says "Before sex, a vagina looks like a a flower with soft velvety petals..."
"what about after sex?"
"You ever see a bulldog eating mayonaisse?"
I'll see myself out
posted by jonmc at 5:16 PM on June 3, 2005
*oink oink oink*
You love my slovenly piggishness, you know it.
That's just silly. They're all beautiful.
This reminds me of one of my favorite dirty jokes.
A liitle boy asks his father, "what does a vagina look like?"
The father says "Before sex, a vagina looks like a a flower with soft velvety petals..."
"what about after sex?"
"You ever see a bulldog eating mayonaisse?"
I'll see myself out
posted by jonmc at 5:16 PM on June 3, 2005
I think mustard is the most disgusting flavor known to humanity
dame, surely you're talking about licorice? :D
It just makes me a bit sad that yet another part of the female body is now subject to scrutiny, and an ideal standard of appearance. I would imagine this is connected with the practice of pubic hair removal which is connected with the mainstreaming of porn, and so another reason to have mixed feelings about such mainstreaming.
And jonson, the subtlety of BobFrapples' comment was obviously lost on me. Of course it was a brilliantly constructed satire, not meant to be confused with the kind of thing some dork would say. Silly me.
posted by jokeefe at 5:21 PM on June 3, 2005
dame, surely you're talking about licorice? :D
It just makes me a bit sad that yet another part of the female body is now subject to scrutiny, and an ideal standard of appearance. I would imagine this is connected with the practice of pubic hair removal which is connected with the mainstreaming of porn, and so another reason to have mixed feelings about such mainstreaming.
And jonson, the subtlety of BobFrapples' comment was obviously lost on me. Of course it was a brilliantly constructed satire, not meant to be confused with the kind of thing some dork would say. Silly me.
posted by jokeefe at 5:21 PM on June 3, 2005
Is there some medical reason that I am missing that the Dr. guy has all his before and after pictures identified as ...year old female? Is there some other choice?
posted by mss at 5:27 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by mss at 5:27 PM on June 3, 2005
Just because you want to be a pig doesn't mean everyone does.
To clarify, it's not that I put in effort to acheive my slovenly appearance, it's that my slovenly appearance is the result of a lack of effort. I'm taken and not in the market, so I see no reason to groom and primp, and rest assured that's the only reason any men put any effort into their appearance. Sloth is bliss, baby.
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on June 3, 2005
To clarify, it's not that I put in effort to acheive my slovenly appearance, it's that my slovenly appearance is the result of a lack of effort. I'm taken and not in the market, so I see no reason to groom and primp, and rest assured that's the only reason any men put any effort into their appearance. Sloth is bliss, baby.
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on June 3, 2005
Next up: the girl with the vagina made of glass.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 5:34 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 5:34 PM on June 3, 2005
I know why you don't care, dear. But some people feel nicer when they look nicer. Even--gasp!--some men.
posted by dame at 5:41 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by dame at 5:41 PM on June 3, 2005
Even--gasp!--some men.
True, but they're either single or gay. And it's fun to revel in ugliness. I like scaring people on the subway with my drunken glower.
posted by jonmc at 5:43 PM on June 3, 2005
True, but they're either single or gay. And it's fun to revel in ugliness. I like scaring people on the subway with my drunken glower.
posted by jonmc at 5:43 PM on June 3, 2005
I don't know what to think about any of this cosmetic surgery.
When my little cousin got a boob job I realized that maybe we shouldn't have called her "mosquito bites" when she was younger.
Now I'm glad we didn't call her "meat curtains" too.
posted by mosch at 6:34 PM on June 3, 2005
When my little cousin got a boob job I realized that maybe we shouldn't have called her "mosquito bites" when she was younger.
Now I'm glad we didn't call her "meat curtains" too.
posted by mosch at 6:34 PM on June 3, 2005
maybe we shouldn't have called her "mosquito bites" when she was younger.
now you can call her "speed bags."
posted by jonmc at 6:36 PM on June 3, 2005
now you can call her "speed bags."
posted by jonmc at 6:36 PM on June 3, 2005
In some parts of the country, "designer vagina" is a rhyme.
posted by kindall at 7:08 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by kindall at 7:08 PM on June 3, 2005
How nice of you to take my disagreement for misunderstanding, dame.
Some people who are not you are
a) interested in promoting the most positive view possible of their interest in and utmost adoration of the opposite sex as a means of scoring points with said sex, and
b) honestly letting context get in the way.
What makes me think so?
If it were a flavour of yoghurt, would they still adore it?
If the answer is yes, then I would absolutely concede the point. Somehow, however, I just don't think so.
posted by dreamsign at 7:14 PM on June 3, 2005
Some people who are not you are
a) interested in promoting the most positive view possible of their interest in and utmost adoration of the opposite sex as a means of scoring points with said sex, and
b) honestly letting context get in the way.
What makes me think so?
If it were a flavour of yoghurt, would they still adore it?
If the answer is yes, then I would absolutely concede the point. Somehow, however, I just don't think so.
posted by dreamsign at 7:14 PM on June 3, 2005
I bet the man who invented these procedures has a really small penis.
posted by elisabeth r at 7:18 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by elisabeth r at 7:18 PM on June 3, 2005
If it were a flavour of yoghurt, would they still adore it?
I do know one man who I believe would answer yes. I'll see him tomorrow, so I will ask him then.
posted by dame at 7:28 PM on June 3, 2005
I do know one man who I believe would answer yes. I'll see him tomorrow, so I will ask him then.
posted by dame at 7:28 PM on June 3, 2005
elisabeth r, no,men who invented these procedures were in the habit of cutting off really small penises and turning them into clitorises.
posted by carmen at 7:44 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by carmen at 7:44 PM on June 3, 2005
I'll never figure out the female obsession with this sort of procedure, or breast augmentation for that matter. Perhaps if people (of both sexes) would take the time, money and energy they put into plastic surgery and instead concentrated on becoming better persons, the world would be a better place.
posted by clevershark at 7:44 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by clevershark at 7:44 PM on June 3, 2005
so I will ask him then
Please see a) and b) above.
But I don't doubt you're correct about there being *some* people who think so. I just think the large majority are bullshitters.
Let's not forget that men have repeatedly spread the falsehood that "sex is like pizza -- even when it isn't great it's not bad". Men have little interest in being honest about these things.
posted by dreamsign at 8:10 PM on June 3, 2005
Please see a) and b) above.
But I don't doubt you're correct about there being *some* people who think so. I just think the large majority are bullshitters.
Let's not forget that men have repeatedly spread the falsehood that "sex is like pizza -- even when it isn't great it's not bad". Men have little interest in being honest about these things.
posted by dreamsign at 8:10 PM on June 3, 2005
(similarly, I had a friend who swore it was the best thing he ever tasted, but come on, can we pleeease separate form and function?)
I had a friend who swore that "downtown" tasted like peach yogurt. Needless to say, I haven't looked at yogurt in the same way since.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:13 PM on June 3, 2005
I had a friend who swore that "downtown" tasted like peach yogurt. Needless to say, I haven't looked at yogurt in the same way since.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:13 PM on June 3, 2005
If it were a flavour of yoghurt, would they still adore it?
Hell, yah. The only problem would be what to do after eating it.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:13 PM on June 3, 2005
Hell, yah. The only problem would be what to do after eating it.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:13 PM on June 3, 2005
Let's not forget that men have repeatedly spread the falsehood that "sex is like pizza -- even when it isn't great it's not bad".
Er... sex is like pizza: it's always good.
You're not a man, are you?
posted by five fresh fish at 8:15 PM on June 3, 2005
Er... sex is like pizza: it's always good.
You're not a man, are you?
posted by five fresh fish at 8:15 PM on June 3, 2005
Okay...so...let me get this straight.
Men doing everything under the sun to augment their penises...for the last half century....funny? Good? Acceptable?
Women altering their vulvas...not ok? Weird? Sick?
People need to start coping with the vagina as a part of the human anatomy, instead of some sort of holy artifact that must not be tampered with.
*goes and pumps his wang*
on preview: Men have little interest in being honest about these things.
Fuck off! Sweeping generalization much? Way to invalidate your entire argument.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:16 PM on June 3, 2005
Men doing everything under the sun to augment their penises...for the last half century....funny? Good? Acceptable?
Women altering their vulvas...not ok? Weird? Sick?
People need to start coping with the vagina as a part of the human anatomy, instead of some sort of holy artifact that must not be tampered with.
*goes and pumps his wang*
on preview: Men have little interest in being honest about these things.
Fuck off! Sweeping generalization much? Way to invalidate your entire argument.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:16 PM on June 3, 2005
Once went out with a (very cute -- my friends were drooling) girl who... well, let's just say I'd rather be reading.
Now, I like books and all but...
Maybe you just haven't had any really good pizza, fff... ;)
posted by dreamsign at 8:20 PM on June 3, 2005
Now, I like books and all but...
Maybe you just haven't had any really good pizza, fff... ;)
posted by dreamsign at 8:20 PM on June 3, 2005
Fuck off! Sweeping generalization much? Way to invalidate your entire argument.
Blow me. INTEREST. Not men aren't honest about it.
Do drunk drivers have much of an interest in being honest with highway patrol? OMFG, what a sweeping generalization!
posted by dreamsign at 8:21 PM on June 3, 2005
Blow me. INTEREST. Not men aren't honest about it.
Do drunk drivers have much of an interest in being honest with highway patrol? OMFG, what a sweeping generalization!
posted by dreamsign at 8:21 PM on June 3, 2005
Men doing everything under the sun to augment their penises...for the last half century....funny? Good? Acceptable?
I find most of them pretty horrific, especially that tendon cutting thing that so many men in porn seem to have today. Sure it's longer, but what kind of erection points down?
Do drunk drivers have much of an interest in being honest with highway patrol?
That is an incredibly sad comparison.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:28 PM on June 3, 2005
I find most of them pretty horrific, especially that tendon cutting thing that so many men in porn seem to have today. Sure it's longer, but what kind of erection points down?
Do drunk drivers have much of an interest in being honest with highway patrol?
That is an incredibly sad comparison.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:28 PM on June 3, 2005
dreamsign: I can tell you're a woman because of your shitty driving abilities.
Don't assume anything about me. Unless you really aren't interested in finding out what I'm like.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:29 PM on June 3, 2005
Don't assume anything about me. Unless you really aren't interested in finding out what I'm like.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:29 PM on June 3, 2005
and sometimes there are guys who say things like "I thought Thanksgiving was over, but MAN, is that a lot of turkey down there
And so there is apparently at least one person that actually enjoyed the movie Gigli.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 8:29 PM on June 3, 2005
And so there is apparently at least one person that actually enjoyed the movie Gigli.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 8:29 PM on June 3, 2005
PST: I find most of them pretty horrific
16 million men disagree.
even if it makes them blind.
Many of the surgeries available for penis extension are less invasive than liposuction. And...my point is...they are more accepted than surgical vaginal manipulation.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:32 PM on June 3, 2005
16 million men disagree.
even if it makes them blind.
Many of the surgeries available for penis extension are less invasive than liposuction. And...my point is...they are more accepted than surgical vaginal manipulation.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:32 PM on June 3, 2005
I'll never figure out the female obsession with this sort of procedure
posted by clevershark at 7:44 PM PST on June 3 [!]
I'm guessing you've never been an adolescent girl?
posted by mudpuppie at 8:33 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by clevershark at 7:44 PM PST on June 3 [!]
I'm guessing you've never been an adolescent girl?
posted by mudpuppie at 8:33 PM on June 3, 2005
I assure you, dreamsign, I've had the universe's best pizza. I've been the supernova, I've birthed the universe, I have lived the fourth brahmana. It's all good.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:39 PM on June 3, 2005
posted by five fresh fish at 8:39 PM on June 3, 2005
Men doing everything under the sun to augment their penises...for the last half century....funny? Good? Acceptable?
I twisted mine into the shape of a balloon animal once. Judging by the reaction of most of the partygoers, it wasn't all that acceptable.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:45 PM on June 3, 2005
I twisted mine into the shape of a balloon animal once. Judging by the reaction of most of the partygoers, it wasn't all that acceptable.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:45 PM on June 3, 2005
In an era where people can clone a cat for $50,000, it seems to me that:
a) there are people who need the surgery for non-cosmetic reasons
b) these people want/need surgeons who are good at what they do
c) practice makes perfect
d) there are others who have more money than they know what to do with (i.e $50k cat), so why not spend money on a pussy of a different order
e) why shouldn't the surgeon who wants/needs practice charge those in category 'd' for their cosmetic urges to be met.
That there are many better ways to spend money is clear, but to bastardize Voltaire, I would fight for the ability of the rich low-self esteemed to spend their money as they wish - after all, money talks.
posted by birdsquared at 8:45 PM on June 3, 2005
a) there are people who need the surgery for non-cosmetic reasons
b) these people want/need surgeons who are good at what they do
c) practice makes perfect
d) there are others who have more money than they know what to do with (i.e $50k cat), so why not spend money on a pussy of a different order
e) why shouldn't the surgeon who wants/needs practice charge those in category 'd' for their cosmetic urges to be met.
That there are many better ways to spend money is clear, but to bastardize Voltaire, I would fight for the ability of the rich low-self esteemed to spend their money as they wish - after all, money talks.
posted by birdsquared at 8:45 PM on June 3, 2005
Many of the surgeries available for penis extension are less invasive than liposuction. And...my point is...they are more accepted than surgical vaginal manipulation.
Are they? I've only heard men talk about them in disparaging terms, but that's anecdotal I guess. And I'm not sure your Viagra link is relevant. It's technically a proven cure for erectile dysfunction, not a surgical alteration.
That is an incredibly sad comparison.
*head explodes*
What'd I miss? "Cop is to criminal as woman is to man" is straight out of The Lockhorns. That's sad. If you're not enjoying the sex, you talk honestly about it. It's not some integral part of manhood to be dishonest about it.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:18 PM on June 3, 2005
Are they? I've only heard men talk about them in disparaging terms, but that's anecdotal I guess. And I'm not sure your Viagra link is relevant. It's technically a proven cure for erectile dysfunction, not a surgical alteration.
That is an incredibly sad comparison.
*head explodes*
What'd I miss? "Cop is to criminal as woman is to man" is straight out of The Lockhorns. That's sad. If you're not enjoying the sex, you talk honestly about it. It's not some integral part of manhood to be dishonest about it.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:18 PM on June 3, 2005
Did anybody who looked at the NSFW before & after Labiaplasty cases notice that in 6/7 cases the photos taken months after surgury are nearly hairless?
And what is going on in the mind of the the 15yo that got a reduction because she thought her junk was ugly and uncomfortable? She is as bald as a 3yo both before and after.
In reaching puberty when body hair starts to grow is there a new teenage mantra that all body hair (underarm, leg, pubic) is icky and needs to be shaved daily?
I guess I won't have to worry about jailbait having crabs.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 11:04 PM on June 3, 2005
And what is going on in the mind of the the 15yo that got a reduction because she thought her junk was ugly and uncomfortable? She is as bald as a 3yo both before and after.
In reaching puberty when body hair starts to grow is there a new teenage mantra that all body hair (underarm, leg, pubic) is icky and needs to be shaved daily?
I guess I won't have to worry about jailbait having crabs.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 11:04 PM on June 3, 2005
mudpuppie writes "I'm guessing you've never been an adolescent girl?"
I can't say that I have.
posted by clevershark at 11:49 PM on June 3, 2005
I can't say that I have.
posted by clevershark at 11:49 PM on June 3, 2005
I haven't scrutinized all my girlfriends bits so I can't say if this is a common apperanec or not, but these looks like they all had some type of..uhm.. severe stretching of their labias. See the "36 year old female who had trauma to her left labium minora at age 3". That just ain't right. In that case it's like a girl had rhinosurgery to fix a broken nose.
posted by dabitch at 12:18 AM on June 4, 2005
posted by dabitch at 12:18 AM on June 4, 2005
liposuction of the pubic fat.
This phrase will stay with me.
posted by ori at 12:25 AM on June 4, 2005
This phrase will stay with me.
posted by ori at 12:25 AM on June 4, 2005
BobFrapples writes "Well... if you've ever been confronted by something that looks like an Arby's Big Montana roast beef sammich, you might be more understanding of this procedure."
In the UK, the Big Montana roast beef sammich you speak of is "chopped liver".
To those offended by Bob's remark, you need to lighten up about your bits!
posted by FieldingGoodney at 2:41 AM on June 4, 2005
In the UK, the Big Montana roast beef sammich you speak of is "chopped liver".
To those offended by Bob's remark, you need to lighten up about your bits!
posted by FieldingGoodney at 2:41 AM on June 4, 2005
From the first link: "These procedures also could open the door to medical complications or permanent damage, he says. Too much tightening during a vaginoplasty can result in painful intercourse, he says. Nerve damage can diminish sensation. Labiaplasty carries a risk of nerve damage, too. In addition, a botched job can create holes in the labia or eliminate them entirely."
"Any kind of major pelvic surgery or injury has the potential for damaging the nerves and blood vessels leading to the vagina and clitoris. If this happens, the blood flow throughout the arteries may be diminished or cut off entirely, leading to a loss of sexual sensation and a reduced ability to become sexually aroused. At present, surgeons simply don't know enough about the location of the nerves and blood vessels in the female pelvis that are vital to normal sexual function to avoid severing or damaging them during surgery." (Jennifer and Laura Berman)
Somehow it doesn't seem worth it to have a "designer vagina" that ... doesn't work. Since they don't know where these nerves and blood vessels are, I wonder how many of these patients suffer loss of sensation/blood flow after these surgeries. It seems strange that these surgeries are allowed (for cosmetic reasons) when we simply don't know how to avoid causing major damage in this area.
posted by heatherann at 5:56 AM on June 4, 2005
"Any kind of major pelvic surgery or injury has the potential for damaging the nerves and blood vessels leading to the vagina and clitoris. If this happens, the blood flow throughout the arteries may be diminished or cut off entirely, leading to a loss of sexual sensation and a reduced ability to become sexually aroused. At present, surgeons simply don't know enough about the location of the nerves and blood vessels in the female pelvis that are vital to normal sexual function to avoid severing or damaging them during surgery." (Jennifer and Laura Berman)
Somehow it doesn't seem worth it to have a "designer vagina" that ... doesn't work. Since they don't know where these nerves and blood vessels are, I wonder how many of these patients suffer loss of sensation/blood flow after these surgeries. It seems strange that these surgeries are allowed (for cosmetic reasons) when we simply don't know how to avoid causing major damage in this area.
posted by heatherann at 5:56 AM on June 4, 2005
If you say "designer vagina" over and over in an Austrailian accent, it becomes very funny.
posted by jonmc at 7:25 AM on June 4, 2005
posted by jonmc at 7:25 AM on June 4, 2005
How about designer vagina dentata?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM on June 4, 2005
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM on June 4, 2005
fff, I'll take one of those please. Does it come in pink?
posted by dabitch at 11:07 AM on June 4, 2005
posted by dabitch at 11:07 AM on June 4, 2005
No idea, dabitch, but it sounds funny if repeated over and over in an Aussie accent. :-)
posted by five fresh fish at 1:25 PM on June 4, 2005
posted by five fresh fish at 1:25 PM on June 4, 2005
"How about designer vagina dentata?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM PST on June 4 [!]
I think I'll pass. I do need to get my wisdom teeth pulled, though...
posted by id at 2:43 PM on June 4, 2005
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM PST on June 4 [!]
I think I'll pass. I do need to get my wisdom teeth pulled, though...
posted by id at 2:43 PM on June 4, 2005
Dabitch, you can make you own Vagina Dentata and then eat it. Now with a taste even dreamsign would approve of. (NSFW)
posted by dame at 2:43 PM on June 4, 2005
posted by dame at 2:43 PM on June 4, 2005
Good. God. What a horrible thing to do to a vagina-cookie.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:05 PM on June 4, 2005
posted by five fresh fish at 5:05 PM on June 4, 2005
Would you believe I've never typed "vagina-cookie" until this very day? Hard to imagine. Never before, and yet here I'm using it three times already today: vagina-cookie.
And come to think of it, I've yet to actually say the phrase "vagina cookie." I must remedy that, and shall go tell the wife.
I wonder whether she'll be surprised.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:21 PM on June 4, 2005
And come to think of it, I've yet to actually say the phrase "vagina cookie." I must remedy that, and shall go tell the wife.
I wonder whether she'll be surprised.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:21 PM on June 4, 2005
(She was.)
posted by five fresh fish at 7:22 PM on June 4, 2005
posted by five fresh fish at 7:22 PM on June 4, 2005
Would you believe I've never typed "vagina-cookie" until this very day?
That's OK. Next year, the Girl Scouts'll be selling it. Sales are expected to skyrocket.
posted by jonmc at 7:40 PM on June 4, 2005
That's OK. Next year, the Girl Scouts'll be selling it. Sales are expected to skyrocket.
posted by jonmc at 7:40 PM on June 4, 2005
What gets me about the surgeries is that they all look the same in the end; boring-looking.
posted by Hildegarde at 8:06 PM on June 4, 2005
posted by Hildegarde at 8:06 PM on June 4, 2005
MonkeySaltedNuts writes "In the good old days, there was this stuff called pubic hair that cloaked vulval features in most positions a body can be in."
For quite a few people their pubic hair doesn't cover much of anything.
MonkeySaltedNuts writes "6/7 cases the photos taken months after surgury are nearly hairless?"
I'd imagine if you were looking to document your procedures performed you'd want to see the procedure bits not a bunch of hair.
posted by Mitheral at 6:43 PM on June 5, 2005
For quite a few people their pubic hair doesn't cover much of anything.
MonkeySaltedNuts writes "6/7 cases the photos taken months after surgury are nearly hairless?"
I'd imagine if you were looking to document your procedures performed you'd want to see the procedure bits not a bunch of hair.
posted by Mitheral at 6:43 PM on June 5, 2005
"You ever see a bulldog eating mayonaisse?"
I heard it as "a bulldog that has just eaten a bowl of porridge", which is probably quite similar apart from the consistency.
posted by dg at 7:09 PM on June 5, 2005
I heard it as "a bulldog that has just eaten a bowl of porridge", which is probably quite similar apart from the consistency.
posted by dg at 7:09 PM on June 5, 2005
« Older You better start from the start. | The Anthropocene Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by mudpuppie at 12:58 PM on June 3, 2005